Staying at the in laws in Phrae at Songkran - hold me

[Metapod]

you gotta buy a boatload of stuff for them, as is standard. I suggest you buy it on the way in, that way you can control the expenditure. I suggest a couple bottles of Laokhao and maybe a couple cases of beer. Maybe a couple super size tins of crackers or cookies for the kids. I would also invest in a styrofoam cooler for the beer.

Maybe if you are an old fossil visiting a hooker's family.

I've never been asked or expected to buy a boatload of stuff when visiting or staying with Thai families.

totally agree, i have never been put in a position when i am expected to buy anything. i have always been a welcomed guest and treated well. then again i've never dated a prostitute...

I don't know why you guys feel the need to crow about this issue every time (you think) it comes up.

We old fossils buying prezzies for the SO's poverty-stricken family aren't deserving of your time and energy in mocking us for our choices, give it a rest.

There is a difference between buying/bringing some gifts/presents, and footing the bill for an extended family and village during your stay. I've given gifts, but I haven't rocked up and been shipped off to Big C to shop for booze and food for 15 people like you fossils keep suggesting is the norm.

That isn't how hospitality works. That is called them taking the piss out of you.

Edited March 18, 2014 by Metapod

[tim armstrong]

As my wife would say - just enjoy! no doubt you will have a better Songkran than you think, as you sound as if you are able to go with the flow. ...and for sure its a better event in the country - like most festivals here, and yeah, the kids do look like they want to 'explode' with excitement down the back roads. Have a great Songkran

[wym]

Maybe if you are an old fossil visiting a hooker's family.

I've never been asked or expected to buy a boatload of stuff when visiting or staying with Thai families.

totally agree, i have never been put in a position when i am expected to buy anything. i have always been a welcomed guest and treated well. then again i've never dated a prostitute...

I don't know why you guys feel the need to crow about this issue every time (you think) it comes up.

We old fossils buying prezzies for the SO's poverty-stricken family aren't deserving of your time and energy in mocking us for our choices, give it a rest.

There is a difference between buying/bringing some gifts/presents, and footing the bill for an extended family and village during your stay. I've given gifts, but I haven't rocked up and been shipped off to Big C to shop for booze and food for 15 people like you fossils keep suggesting is the norm.

That isn't how hospitality works. That is called them taking the piss out of you.

I'm talking about dirt-poor subsistence farmers here. If I didn't come there wouldn't be much of a party at all.

If I came and didn't contribute my fair share, they would suffer a lot of shame, since they know I wouldn't be able or willing to eat most of the dishes they would usually prepare.

I'm not talking about a lot of money - to me - but it is a lot to them.

And AFAIC it's just part of the deal and I'm happy to do it, just like my SOs get a certain allowance for clothes shopping every three months and a certain amount for topping up their SIMs etc etc.

Yes I'm paying for services and companionship and happy to do so.

Nothing wrong with that and none of your business either.

[namdocmai]

I remember going upcountry for songkran and i bought some waterguns from the Makro to bring. 200 baht a piece.

We put the guns on a table somewhere and after 10 minutes the young boys came in the house with one gun broken, he pumped it too hard the idiot.

Then they had to share the other one, also 10 minutes and broken. Then they blamed me that i brought bad waterguns....tsss.

So be smart and buy them in advance so you have choice and test them in the shop.

[asiabill]

Thanks, you are replacing me. This will be the first year in 15 that I have not enjoyed Songkran in the idyllic paradise of Ban Dan Lan Hoi - with real Thai food, mosquito net with fist sized holes in it and water that is burning hot from sitting in a pipe in the sun all day. As the only farang for miles around, I can behave like an idiot 24/7, I get all the LaoKhao I can drink and I get parade participants breaking rank to run over and give me more. I have never been asked for money or anything else. I do try to put on a firework display but that is all my idea. And why am I breaking this tradition? To enjoy the bland food, piss poor beer, foul climate and obnoxious neighbours of my homeland - Scotland. But, as a native son, I feel it is my duty to try to help my countrymen break free from their colonial masters.

[kimbathewhitelion]

Thanks, you are replacing me. This will be the first year in 15 that I have not enjoyed Songkran in the idyllic paradise of Ban Dan Lan Hoi - with real Thai food, mosquito net with fist sized holes in it and water that is burning hot from sitting in a pipe in the sun all day. As the only farang for miles around, I can behave like an idiot 24/7, I get all the LaoKhao I can drink and I get parade participants breaking rank to run over and give me more. I have never been asked for money or anything else. I do try to put on a firework display but that is all my idea. And why am I breaking this tradition? To enjoy the bland food, piss poor beer, foul climate and obnoxious neighbours of my homeland - Scotland. But, as a native son, I feel it is my duty to try to help my countrymen break free from their colonial masters.

No disrespect but after 15 years, why do you still refer yourself as a "Farang"?

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[bkkgriz]

My best Songkran in 8 years in Thailand was spent in deepest darkest Ubon. Living conditions similar to what you will have. Great time. Don't worry. All you will be expected to do is drink, eat and have fun. Relax and enjoy.

[David48]

Thanks for the responses guys.

And for those asking, of course I know how to use google, and yes, I probably will book into a hotel in town.

Now let me make this point clear, the inlaws (and extended family) aren't bad people it's just that we have a completely different mindset and I know that it is inevitable that we will make the trip to Big C or Tesco Lotus with about 15 people huddled in the back of the pickup who will seemingly just come along for the ride - I didn't realise supermarkets were such an attraction!

Of course I could just say to the Mrs that I'm not going, plain and simple. However, whilst I really don't want to go, I'm trying to think of it from her point of view. Let's say the roles were reversed and she was in the UK at Christmas time, for example. I don't think I'd feel too great if she refused to visit my family during the Christmas period. Naturally, my family wouldn't look at her to pay for things at every given opportunity, but there you go!

And this will only be the 3rd time that her parents will be spending time with our daughter, so really it is only right that we go, to be fair.

Anyway, a successful relationship, no matter what of the world you live in is all about compromises and a bit of give and take, right? I figure now is just a time where I'm going to have to give a little more than usual!

The thing that concerns me more than the lack of facilities, the mozzies, the heat, the part of me being seen as the walking ATM, the upcountry blokes and their Laokhao induced ways...more than all this...the thing that concerns me most is that we are going to have to drive for 8 hrs during a time the road in Thailand are so unbelievably dangerous it actually beggars belief.

^^ Nice post ...

Have a read of ... how-do-i-survive-living-at-the-farm-tips-and-tricks-please

and ... tales-from-the-farm

From the Isaan Forum ... could be something in that for you.

[lanng khao]

Maybe if you are an old fossil visiting a hooker's family.

I've never been asked or expected to buy a boatload of stuff when visiting or staying with Thai families.

totally agree, i have never been put in a position when i am expected to buy anything. i have always been a welcomed guest and treated well. then again i've never dated a prostitute...

I don't know why you guys feel the need to crow about this issue every time (you think) it comes up.

We old fossils buying prezzies for the SO's poverty-stricken family aren't deserving of your time and energy in mocking us for our choices, give it a rest.

There is a difference between buying/bringing some gifts/presents, and footing the bill for an extended family and village during your stay. I've given gifts, but I haven't rocked up and been shipped off to Big C to shop for booze and food for 15 people like you fossils keep suggesting is the norm.

That isn't how hospitality works. That is called them taking the piss out of you.

I'm talking about dirt-poor subsistence farmers here. If I didn't come there wouldn't be much of a party at all.

If I came and didn't contribute my fair share, they would suffer a lot of shame, since they know I wouldn't be able or willing to eat most of the dishes they would usually prepare.

I'm not talking about a lot of money - to me - but it is a lot to them.

And AFAIC it's just part of the deal and I'm happy to do it, just like my SOs get a certain allowance for clothes shopping every three months and a certain amount for topping up their SIMs etc etc.

Yes I'm paying for services and companionship and happy to do so.

Nothing wrong with that and none of your business either.

is right lad, half of them on here should try and venture out from soi minge bag..

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[hotrod4098]

Take toilet paper!

Been there done that.

Drunken males dancing in the yard.

Females no longer allowed to dance because of the fights it causes.

Hot as blazes.

No longer married to that one.

had that many times...girls dance then the thai guys get jelouse and the fights start...morons

[wym]

No disrespect but after 15 years, why do you still refer yourself as a "Farang"?

Why not?

And what does 15 years have to do with it, you think just having a deep sun tan changes your "race"?

Really, let's NOT start that topic again already so soon after the last round. . .

[geronimo]

If nothing else, the experience will give you more appreciation for what you have!

[kimbathewhitelion]

No disrespect but after 15 years, why do you still refer yourself as a "Farang"?

Why not?

And what does 15 years have to do with it, you think just having a deep sun tan changes your "race"?

Really, let's NOT start that topic again already so soon after the last round. . .

Never took you for a basher or pisser, but TiT, no one is true to words said. You have proven a point that one does not have to be intelligent to talk or write. I pity you though before different, think better a cave life is your exact.

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[wym]

Never took you for a basher or pisser, but TiT, no one is true to words said. You have proven a point that one does not have to be intelligent to talk or write. I pity you though before different, think better a cave life is your exact.

Sorry this makes little sense to me, if you were trying to convey substantive content maybe give it another try?

I'm just saying as has been stated a gajillion times, farang simply means "honkey" but is more polite, so it just doesn't make sense to ask why someone would be using it or not.

And being here a long time is doubly irrelevant.

[kimbathewhitelion]

Never took you for a basher or pisser, but TiT, no one is true to words said. You have proven a point that one does not have to be intelligent to talk or write. I pity you though before different, think better a cave life is your exact.

Sorry this makes little sense to me, if you were trying to convey substantive content maybe give it another try?

I'm just saying as has been stated a gajillion times, farang simply means "honkey" but is more polite, so it just doesn't make sense to ask why someone would be using it or not.

And being here a long time is doubly irrelevant.

But 15 years! "Farang" by way of my Doctor friends or sub-friends, means "white, big nose" or "white Jew" or simpler terms, "rich white" which isn't the same as honky, nor being referred as "white" in whatever slang is deemed offensive. I have to remind my wife to remind her family & friends that "Farang" is offensive to me. I only been here short of 4 years but know an insult when given. It's so easy to avoid such insult. So few words. Can only for so long take the side line to what political correct people see as their target or, as in America with the media, hide in the shadows because I have a justified but opposing opinion.

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[pinkpanther99]

UPDATE

so before this thread descends into yet more petty arguments about the correct us of the term farang - which isn't even relevant to my predicament - I have an update.

After reading your responses and ideas (all of which I'm grateful for) yesterday afternoon, I left work with the idea of telling my Mrs that I'll give her 10K Baht and she can go upto Phrae herself during Songkran and have a great time, whilst I'll stay at home.

Anyway, before I could even suggest this to her, as I step through the door to my abode after a hard days graft, she comes straight out and says "honey, I don't think we will go my home for Songkran".

"oh" i say. "Why is that?" (but really I'm like this inside I can't believe my luck)

It turns out that my Mrs sister, (who had previously been disowned by the family because she's a right bad 'un) is now back living in the family shack and my Mrs wants to have nothing to do with her. She reckons they'll be nothing but trouble if we go up - arguments, family feuds and the like.

So instead, we stay at home in Hua Hin and her mother and father will come and stay with us for 3 days the first week in May.

What a result.

So this Songkran you'll find me quaffing Champagne and Caviar at the Dusit Thani - enjoy your Lao Khao suckers!!!

(the latest sentence is totally untrue, I've never been to the Dusit, don't like Champagne and couldn't even dream of affording caviar)

[10Yen]

Never took you for a basher or pisser, but TiT, no one is true to words said. You have proven a point that one does not have to be intelligent to talk or write. I pity you though before different, think better a cave life is your exact.

Sorry this makes little sense to me, if you were trying to convey substantive content maybe give it another try?

I'm just saying as has been stated a gajillion times, farang simply means "honkey" but is more polite, so it just doesn't make sense to ask why someone would be using it or not.

And being here a long time is doubly irrelevant.

But 15 years! "Farang" by way of my Doctor friends or sub-friends, means "white, big nose" or "white Jew" or simpler terms, "rich white" which isn't the same as honky, nor being referred as "white" in whatever slang is deemed offensive. I have to remind my wife to remind her family & friends that "Farang" is offensive to me. I only been here short of 4 years but know an insult when given. It's so easy to avoid such insult. So few words. Can only for so long take the side line to what political correct people see as their target or, as in America with the media, hide in the shadows because I have a justified but opposing opinion.

Sent from my iPad using Thaivisa Connect Thailand

I have been here since 1990, and I call farangs , farangs, including myself.

[kimbathewhitelion]

Never took you for a basher or pisser, but TiT, no one is true to words said. You have proven a point that one does not have to be intelligent to talk or write. I pity you though before different, think better a cave life is your exact.

Sorry this makes little sense to me, if you were trying to convey substantive content maybe give it another try?

I'm just saying as has been stated a gajillion times, farang simply means "honkey" but is more polite, so it just doesn't make sense to ask why someone would be using it or not.

And being here a long time is doubly irrelevant.

But 15 years! "Farang" by way of my Doctor friends or sub-friends, means "white, big nose" or "white Jew" or simpler terms, "rich white" which isn't the same as honky, nor being referred as "white" in whatever slang is deemed offensive. I have to remind my wife to remind her family & friends that "Farang" is offensive to me. I only been here short of 4 years but know an insult when given. It's so easy to avoid such insult. So few words. Can only for so long take the side line to what political correct people see as their target or, as in America with the media, hide in the shadows because I have a justified but opposing opinion.

Sent from my iPad using Thaivisa Connect Thailand

I have been here since 1990, and I call farangs , farangs, including myself.

....and you will always be you.

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[bkkjames]

UPDATE

so before this thread descends into yet more petty arguments about the correct us of the term farang - which isn't even relevant to my predicament - I have an update.

After reading your responses and ideas (all of which I'm grateful for) yesterday afternoon, I left work with the idea of telling my Mrs that I'll give her 10K Baht and she can go upto Phrae herself during Songkran and have a great time, whilst I'll stay at home.

Anyway, before I could even suggest this to her, as I step through the door to my abode after a hard days graft, she comes straight out and says "honey, I don't think we will go my home for Songkran".

"oh" i say. "Why is that?" (but really I'm like this inside I can't believe my luck)

It turns out that my Mrs sister, (who had previously been disowned by the family because she's a right bad 'un) is now back living in the family shack and my Mrs wants to have nothing to do with her. She reckons they'll be nothing but trouble if we go up - arguments, family feuds and the like.

So instead, we stay at home in Hua Hin and her mother and father will come and stay with us for 3 days the first week in May.

What a result.

So this Songkran you'll find me quaffing Champagne and Caviar at the Dusit Thani - enjoy your Lao Khao suckers!!!

(the latest sentence is totally untrue, I've never been to the Dusit, don't like Champagne and couldn't even dream of affording caviar)

I think your wife reads thaivisa

[namdocmai]

Oh so you have to go to the fishmarket and eat between the motortaxi's and tuktuks? Well that sounds a lot better then being upcountry.

Yes things change all the time in Thailand, maybe the plan will change again and some more family is coming but sure sounds better then going there.

Guess they want to see the shoppingmall in Venice style now. have fun!

[Neeeko]

If you pay me 100,000 Baht I will dress up as a terrorist and pretend to kidnap you. We will then threaten your wife, saying we will only release you after Songkran if you can stay drunk the whole time.

[connda]

If you pay me 100,000 Baht I will dress up as a terrorist and pretend to kidnap you. We will then threaten your wife, saying we will only release you after Songkran if you can stay drunk the whole time.

That's funny until a humorless SEAL team blasts through your door with laser mounted M4s at Zero Dark Thirty.

Perhaps not the best idea I've heard in this thread?

[Thongkorn]

I live native when i go to the family's home/s, all i use is a mosey net, you can buy double or single, I bought some spray but got frowned on because i was killing insects. I never bother with air con anyway. as for showers cold is ok because its usually hot anyway.

[lanng khao]

I live native when i go to the family's home/s, all i use is a mosey net, you can buy double or single, I bought some spray but got frowned on because i was killing insects. I never bother with air con anyway. as for showers cold is ok because its usually hot anyway.

bet bear grills is shitten himself..

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[pinkpanther99]

UPDATE #2

So it looks like my odious and sarcastic comment about me spending Songkran quaffing Champagne and caviar in the Dusit Thani has well and truly come back to bite me on the a$$.

To cut a long story short, I am now being dragged upcountry by Mrs to spend Songkran with the inlaws.

We don't leave for another two days but our kitchen is already packed from floor to ceiling with food items she wants to take back - god only knows how I'm going to fit it all in the car.

We'll be traveling from Hua Hin but to make matters worse we've to to take a big detour to the opposite side of Bangkok to pick up her sister and husband before then going on our journey.

Now my Mrs isn't stupid, OK, she's not Hi-So Thai/Chinese like most of you fellas have, but she isn't stupid. She speaks good English, is as educated as you could possibly be being a product of the Thai education system and is a fantastic mother to our young daughter.

But when it comes to her having to do something for her family, it's like all rational and sensible thought goes out the window. It's hard for me to explain. For example, we'll be driving 10 hours, 800km+ at the time when the roads in Thailand are so much more dangerous than usual. Now I've tried explaining this to her but it totally falls on deaf ears, it's like the serious and genuine threat of us being involved in some kind of road traffic accident doesn't even register and my opinions, thoughts or concerns well and truly take a back seat.

Maybe I'm being over the top.

Anyway, now that I'll be 4 days in the village I' might keep this thread going with updates and photos just for a bit of fun and to help educate you lot with hi-so birds at how the other half live!

[A1Str8]

People are right who have suggested that there is no need to stay there all day. Just rent a nice room nearby and visit them every day. It's going to pass so quickly you won't even notice.

Just tell them you do that mean to be disrespectful by not staying there all the time and sleeping there but you are foreigner and your immune system is not used to the ship they deal with on a daily basis so you need your own place to sleep. They will understand. They will even easier happy that you don't sleep there as its going to be easier to them.

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[Sigurris]

What was wrong with your earlier 10K bribe? Much better. Start at 10K and up it if necessary. But I cannot think of an upper figure that would make 4 days in an Esan village worth it

[pinkpanther99]

What was wrong with your earlier 10K bribe? Much better. Start at 10K and up it if necessary. But I cannot think of an upper figure that would make 4 days in an Esan village worth it

10k bribe didn't really go down well. "Why you think I just want your money" was her response.

We've agreed that any trips to BigC for the family come out of her money during this trip.

But I figure that if I don't show maybe she'll lose a bit of face in the village, which is maybe more important to her than me offering her 10k, I don't know, I mean who can work out Thai logic?? I've no idea

[bkkjames]

What was wrong with your earlier 10K bribe? Much better. Start at 10K and up it if necessary. But I cannot think of an upper figure that would make 4 days in an Esan village worth it

10k bribe didn't really go down well. "Why you think I just want your money" was her response.

We've agreed that any trips to BigC for the family come out of her money during this trip.

But I figure that if I don't show maybe she'll lose a bit of face in the village, which is maybe more important to her than me offering her 10k, I don't know, I mean who can work out Thai logic?? I've no idea

We have another term for it...p..whipped.

Sent from my LG-P970

[connda]

So, where did you end up? Whoops. Never mind. I just saw Update 2.

My suggestion. Drive 60 kph all the way there, taking frequent pee breaks and rode side streches. Make the trip 16 hours long and have everyone begging, "Are we there yet?" If you have a CD player, burn some really mind zapping Speed Metal and Punk Rock and play it LOUD, like the Thais hais like it. Sing!!! Make it a road trip to be remembered!!!

Next year might find you at the Dusit. Best of luck.

Edited April 12, 2014 by connda