What foreigners dont get about Thai girls.

[MrWorldwide]

Berkshire, I'm going to conduct extensive research throughout Asia and come back to you on this with some stats in December

[MrWorldwide]

BTW single mothers are the very very worst woman to look for, of course, isn't that obvious?

Any idea what percentage of Thai women reach 30 without having at least one child ? I know one two, and one is a virgin : not terribly encouraging

[JamesDean3]

Asian women in general defer to their husbands as they think the husbands are the "head" of the family and the lead breadwinner. Therefore in major decisions the husband has the final say. So in looking for relationships with Thai women one should basically "step up to bat" - basically assert that you can actually start, run and hold a family together. It is quite subtle.

[Neeranam]

AFter living here a couple of decades, I've kinda forgotten what it was like in the West but I disagree that Thai women are more friendly and outgoing.

There are more Thai women who are desperately trying to escape poverty - so they are an easy pick up and a hundred times more subservient than Western ones.

That's great if you just want sex. If you want a "real" relationship that isn't based on how much money you have in your pocket then it's a little harder.

Are you suggesting that I just want sex? I never said that the women's situation was 'good'. When I arrived here I had a girlfriend for nearly 2 years and we never had sex.

Not all men and women marry for sex and money. Have you ever heard of attraction/love?

[maximillian]

Well my Mrs is fluent in English, Spanish and Thai while I am fluent in only English, can jumble a bit of Thai together if hard pressed, and like tapas.

Works for us.

Thais look good, have good food, and give good massages but once you've met a sweet Filipina, very hard to consider any other nationality, in my opinion. They win hands down in taking care of the man.

was married to Filipina for 13 years till she became Westernised....

Generalizing is silly. Always.

Lived in the Philippines, met some ladies there and married one of a high-so family. Not bad, but love my Thai lady much better.

[Neeranam]

I hadn't learned Thai

I wouldn't have met my wife of 43 too if she hadn't learned English. But congrats to your teenager.

I suggest you learn English.

[shadmo63]

Depends on the context doesn't it?

Out and about in public, or with those I'm most intimate with, no problem.

And for myself, those are the only situations where it's used to address me in person and I know enough to understand it's not meant disrespectfully. Not that I think I'm all that "deserving of respect" just because I'm white.

So you let close friends refer to you as, or call you 'farang''?

Unbelievable!

What, they don't know your name? And your last sentence shows you have some issues. If they're close friends, the respect should be mutual.

Any Thai I know or work with who refers to me as 'farang' gets schooled real quick.

I agree, "farang" has neither negative nor positive connotation by itself; as Wym said it depends on the context.

But I think "Maksida" or "Baksida" is khon Isarn taking the piss!!??

[Tatsujin]

AFter living here a couple of decades, I've kinda forgotten what it was like in the West but I disagree that Thai women are more friendly and outgoing.

There are more Thai women who are desperately trying to escape poverty - so they are an easy pick up and a hundred times more subservient than Western ones.

That's great if you just want sex. If you want a "real" relationship that isn't based on how much money you have in your pocket then it's a little harder.

Are you suggesting that I just want sex? I never said that the women's situation was 'good'. When I arrived here I had a girlfriend for nearly 2 years and we never had sex.

Not all men and women marry for sex and money. Have you ever heard of attraction/love?

Your words: "Thai women who are desperately trying to escape poverty" ... kind of implies they are looking for financial support, not love.

If you meant something different, you should have been clearer.

I won't even touch the "subservient" aspect of your post.

[mok199]

please not another book,.........................................................................................................please we dont need to beat this subject to death....open your eyes....if it walks like a duck and looks like a duck,its probably a chicken....made in thailand.zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

[marko kok prong]

Much prefer the silent treatment when i get angry,as then i start to calm down,realise i have overreacted and apologise,so small arguments never blow up,unlike with a western woman who generally start verbally punching under the belt,most arguments i have had with my wife here,a short lived and tame affairs because of the silent treatment,she may stay quite for a day or so,but so much better than something that in my previous experience can blow up into something very unpleasant.

[Tatsujin]

AFter living here a couple of decades, I've kinda forgotten what it was like in the West but I disagree that Thai women are more friendly and outgoing.

There are more Thai women who are desperately trying to escape poverty - so they are an easy pick up and a hundred times more subservient than Western ones.

That's great if you just want sex. If you want a "real" relationship that isn't based on how much money you have in your pocket then it's a little harder.

Are you suggesting that I just want sex? I never said that the women's situation was 'good'. When I arrived here I had a girlfriend for nearly 2 years and we never had sex.

Not all men and women marry for sex and money. Have you ever heard of attraction/love?

m

Hey Neeranam, are you the same guy who posts on ajarnforum under this same name?

[IMA_FARANG]

There are many things that men don't understand about all women (not just "girls" but women)

That is the case in all countries and it has been that way for many years.

But the one thing that many foreigners don't realize about Thai women is that they are Thai.

They were raised in Thailand, Thai is their first language, and they want to live in Thailand as their preferred home.

That's one of the main reasons why a foreigner married to a Thai who takes her "home" to HIS native country, even with all the best intentions on both sides, finds that such marriages often fail.

Quite often SHE will feel that HIS "home" is not where she wants to live long term.

Even husband and children in HIS home do not make HIS home country HER home country.

She may adapt, but sooner or later she wants to "come home" to Thailand.

Whether it is in the U.K., the U.S.A, or in Europe many Thai "girls"/women/wives usually come to that point in their life when they want to go "home" to Thailand.

[marko kok prong]

Depends on the context doesn't it?

Out and about in public, or with those I'm most intimate with, no problem.

And for myself, those are the only situations where it's used to address me in person and I know enough to understand it's not meant disrespectfully. Not that I think I'm all that "deserving of respect" just because I'm white.

So you let close friends refer to you as, or call you 'farang''?

Unbelievable!

What, they don't know your name? And your last sentence shows you have some issues. If they're close friends, the respect should be mutual.

Any Thai I know or work with who refers to me as 'farang' gets schooled real quick.

I agree, "farang" has neither negative nor positive connotation by itself; as Wym said it depends on the context.

But I think "Maksida" or "Baksida" is khon Isarn taking the piss!!??

baksida,in my under standing is just the issan or lao word for falang,which means Gauva[the fruit].

[Scarpolo]

There are many things that men don't understand about all women (not just "girls" but women)

That is the case in all countries and it has been that way for many years.

But the one thing that many foreigners don't realize about Thai women is that they are Thai.

They were raised in Thailand, Thai is their first language, and they want to live in Thailand as their preferred home.

That's one of the main reasons why a foreigner married to a Thai who takes her "home" to HIS native country, even with all the best intentions on both sides, finds that such marriages often fail.

Quite often SHE will feel that HIS "home" is not where she wants to live long term.

Even husband and children in HIS home do not make HIS home country HER home country.

She may adapt, but sooner or later she wants to "come home" to Thailand.

Whether it is in the U.K., the U.S.A, or in Europe many Thai "girls"/women/wives usually come to that point in their life when they want to go "home" to Thailand.

Mine didnt want to leave, not on this trip anyway, and won't leave her mother in any case, even though there is an adult brother, with his own business, living (freeloading) of his sisters back, literally.

This was all I needed to see to know when to leave; so I did.

No way to take a thai girl out of bondage,when they choose it

[HooHaa]

i speak thai passably well, i have made an effort to learn, but i have never had a relationship of any significance here where the lingua franca wasn't english. its not like educated thais are thin on the ground in bangkok.

You are repeating an often quoted myth, which is that the level of education somehow translates to English proficiency. It does not. Typically, a highly educated Thai with a PhD will speak less English than an uneducated bargirl. There are exceptions, of course, particularly Thais who have spent time overseas. But most Thais who attended universities did so using the Thai language exclusively.

no, im repeating my experience, yes bargirls can often speak english, that is a given. but working in offices in thailand for companies like microsoft for 10 years, and meeting their staff and clients,lawfirms they are affiliated with etc i big to differ that hookers have the edge.

business gets done in these companies here somehow, and it isnt happening in thai.

take a turn around bumrungrad hospital for example and see who speaks english and who doesnt.

but i will alter the remarks its not like thais educated in English are thin on the ground in bangkok

Edited March 20, 2014 by HooHaa

[Cadan]

You didn't notice that unless you speak thai, the conversation doesn't go much beyond where to eat your next meal, did you?

Thai at Heart, I respect your personal observation, but you can never generalize.

There are many couples in Thailand that can have proper conversations and discuss anything and everything.

Thai people do learn English.

Farangs seldom bother to learn Thai.

Of the Farangs who seldom bother to learn any language than English you can generally scale it down to US and UK... They dont bother to speak any other language also in Europe

[Cadan]

There are many things that men don't understand about all women (not just "girls" but women)

That is the case in all countries and it has been that way for many years.

But the one thing that many foreigners don't realize about Thai women is that they are Thai.

They were raised in Thailand, Thai is their first language, and they want to live in Thailand as their preferred home.

That's one of the main reasons why a foreigner married to a Thai who takes her "home" to HIS native country, even with all the best intentions on both sides, finds that such marriages often fail.

Quite often SHE will feel that HIS "home" is not where she wants to live long term.

Even husband and children in HIS home do not make HIS home country HER home country.

She may adapt, but sooner or later she wants to "come home" to Thailand.

Whether it is in the U.K., the U.S.A, or in Europe many Thai "girls"/women/wives usually come to that point in their life when they want to go "home" to Thailand.

100% spot on... however it seems that still so many guys keep making the same mistake over and over again...

[Claude Balls]

Your twisted with you concept of a woman who is a hottie and that you have no chance with her. My girlfriend of 7 years who is now 35 is a show stopper when she walks into the room

Heads turn.In a nutshell she is very beautiful and I am a lucky guy. Lke a lot of pretty girls most men in the west are intimidated with beautiful woman.

Thai or farang would not approach her for fear of being rejected. To make a long story short we have been together 7 years

So it really does not matter if a woman is Thai or Western They are all the same world wide and guys need to accept that . Nothing different about that

I guess the problem is that every other guy in the world, intimidated or not, is going to think the same about your g/f and historically this can be a cause of problems

[Tchooptip]

"so they are an easy pick up and a hundred times more subservient than Western ones. "

Good to note that misogyny is alive and well.

UNFORTUNATELY...it is not misogyny (or fortunately for many Westerners ) but it is not

Maybe you did not read Neeranam properly: "There are more Thai women who are desperately trying to escape poverty - so they are an easy pick up and a hundred times more subservient than Western ones."

Translation: the Thai women desperate to escape poverty are...IMHO difficult to disagree!

[cyborgx]

Regarding what foreigners don't get about Thai women, there is an old Thai saying: Give a Thai girl a fish, and you feed her for a day; give a Thai girl a fishing pole, and she will beat you over the head with it and take your wallet. Next?

sorry its a little off topic, but I met someone years ago that was writing a book on Thai Sayings and Slang, anyone ever seen a book like this ?

[cyborgx]

Yes, every Thai-speaking farang I know has no problem with the word, use it all the time, answer to it when called, realize it CAN be used as an insult, just as the word "Thai" or "Asian" can be, but in fact rarely is.

Really depends on who's using the word and in what context. I agree it's not always intended as an insult, but there are more polite alternatives. Bottom line is we are still being called potatoes, not the most flattering of vegetables LOL

[eldragon]

OP, good on you for recognizing something that may not be obvious to a novice farang. This could be a good topic if the idiots stay away. The problem with farangs in Thailand is that they get most of their intel from other farangs. And other farangs almost always only know Thai women who are in the "farang scene." Which is to say mostly BGs or serial farang-hunters (mostly prowling on dating sites and farang hang-outs).

Normal Thai girls, e.g., the sort of Thai girls most farangs would want to meet, prefer to speak Thai and do not think that farangs walk on water. They just want a normal relationship with someone they can connect with and talk to. It's really that simple. So if you can't speak Thai, you're relegated to the "farang scene" sort of Thai girl, which sucks.

I've been in Thailand a long time and I have long figured out that most Thai girls prefer a Thai guy about their age. I accept that. But there are plenty of Thai women who, by circumstance, are looking for foreigners. For example, single mothers. Just the other day, I advised a close friend that a single mother may be the best way to go. She'll be ready to settle and won't be "hard work," as the OP says. But if you want to compete with a Thai guy for a grade A hottie, a Thai guy who's got the culture and language advantage down pat, you've got no chance. Sorry, but that's reality.

I love this post. And totally agree with you, and the OP. Yes, it's fairly easy to meet girls here, if you're not picky. But when you factor in all the things you have to do (learn Thai, gain the acceptance of the friends and family, break through the shy exterior, overcome the fears assocaited with foreigners, etc.) to find a decent girl beyond the "farang scene", it seems like the likelyhood of meeting the right girl here is the same as it is in the west.

[Razer64]

My situation is quite different than most. I met my wife in America. We were together for five years before I ever saw Thailand. I thought all these peculiarities were simply her unique personality, i.e., the money-grubbing (American women are no different, and they're likely no different anywhere else either), the anger issues, the preposterous idea that I should sit on my ass all day and turn a blind eye to anything and everything she does (especially the money) and let her and her family be my bosses, etc. I never asked for any of this crap. All I've ever asked for was mutual admiration and respect and an honest partner to get through life with. We were happy together in America, for the most part, and to be perfectly honest, I liked my sweetheart better as an American. She's not my sweetheart anymore, obviously, but you get the idea. After twelve years of marriage (yes, we are closing things up now and calling it quits), I am still referred to as "farang" in Thai conversations with her friends and family. Any hope of getting any mutual admiration and respect is long gone.

Her sister hates my guts. The feeling is mutual. The phony smiles all stopped and the pretense was over for her a few years back when success was achieved in the family business and I stopped all cash flow to Thailand forever. She is the matriarch of the family and is to run all and everything and everyone and to make all important decisions concerning everyone, including who gets what, where I and my wife will sleep, that my money is their money, too, and etc. I still don't understand why my money is their money but their money isn't my money. Lol. I literally laughed in her face and asked her if she really expected me to take her seriously. We have spoken very little ever since. When she passes by, I pretend she doesn't even exist. When she comes to sit at a table and join conversation, I get up and walk away. I did this very thing last night, in front of a well dressed crowd of family and friends when she started off on another one of her rants in another silly attempt of hers to show everyone who's boss. She lost face and ran away herself, in tears. There is no reason for any of it, of course; it's not "tradition" she is trying to uphold, but what underlies all the pretense is simple: greed, selfishness, and the belief that if you show an angry enough face to the world, it will bow down and give you what you want. She and her "family" bumped into the wrong "farang". I don't even need to mock her. My indifference to her says it all and makes her just about lose her mind. I could care less what she's thinking or doing or what she wants, and this drives her to madness.

So much for "traditions" and all that stuff. Especially outdated, outmoded, nonsense that simply does not work; nope, not even in Thailand. Evidence of this is found in the simple fact that the country often descends into chaos and violence on a frequent basis and nobody can ever get anything straight around here. Like I said, I never asked for any of this crap, and my wife sure was lax in volunteering and and all information pertaining to it when we lived in America.

How can this be considered a "developing country"? The country and culture is 1500 years old and still stagnant. By "developing", I take that to mean these people have finally figured out how to run a few machines and how to play games on a smart phone.

The majority of Thai I meet dream of the promise of America and Western Europe. Wherever I go in Thailand, they always appear to need us for one thing or another. I suppose that is why they are so angry. I'd be angry, too, if I didn't know what to do with myself all day besides wait for my master to come by so I can kiss her ass and get further instructions on how my life should be lived.

Sure, there are honest women here. I've met one. I spotted her and fell in love with her the moment I saw her. But she's taken. Damn-it!

I don't speak the language as well as I should, but I understand Thai only too well. It is always the unspoken language that is best to learn.

A horse has no udder, a cow can't whinny, up is down, and sideways is straight ahead.

[thaigold]

It might help if the Farangs started looking for Thai women, not girls.

[uptheos]

AFter living here a couple of decades, I've kinda forgotten what it was like in the West but I disagree that Thai women are more friendly and outgoing.

There are more Thai women who are desperately trying to escape poverty - so they are an easy pick up and a hundred times more subservient than Western ones.

That's great if you just want sex. If you want a "real" relationship that isn't based on how much money you have in your pocket then it's a little harder.

Are you suggesting that I just want sex? I never said that the women's situation was 'good'. When I arrived here I had a girlfriend for nearly 2 years and we never had sex.

Not all men and women marry for sex and money. Have you ever heard of attraction/love?

Your words: "Thai women who are desperately trying to escape poverty" ... kind of implies they are looking for financial support, not love.

If you meant something different, you should have been clearer.

I won't even touch the "subservient" aspect of your post.

You disagree?

[bigbamboo]

What foreigners men don't get about Thai girls.

Fixed it for you.

Brilliant!

Perhaps you could have a crack at a few other unsolvable problems.... like is the meaning of life or the Riemann hypothesis or why England can't win another World Cup?

[parmo2]

Asian women in general defer to their husbands as they think the husbands are the "head" of the family and the lead breadwinner. Therefore in major decisions the husband has the final say. So in looking for relationships with Thai women one should basically "step up to bat" - basically assert that you can actually start, run and hold a family together. It is quite subtle.

Men have kept women alive in every society in the world, that is what feminists conveniently forget when they explain their "patriarchy theory". If someone was keeping YOU alive, and THEY were working in a Dirty Difficult Dangerous job while YOU stayed at home in total safety, YOU would defer to THEM too.

It is NOT subtle, Thai women are just exploiting YOU, they want your money, nothing else.

[shadmo63]

I hear you Razer64, and relate to your experience. It is hard not to be bitter sometimes. And I agree about the "unspoken language".

Jai yen yen

[Tatsujin]

AFter living here a couple of decades, I've kinda forgotten what it was like in the West but I disagree that Thai women are more friendly and outgoing.

There are more Thai women who are desperately trying to escape poverty - so they are an easy pick up and a hundred times more subservient than Western ones.

That's great if you just want sex. If you want a "real" relationship that isn't based on how much money you have in your pocket then it's a little harder.

Are you suggesting that I just want sex? I never said that the women's situation was 'good'. When I arrived here I had a girlfriend for nearly 2 years and we never had sex.

Not all men and women marry for sex and money. Have you ever heard of attraction/love?

Your words: "Thai women who are desperately trying to escape poverty" ... kind of implies they are looking for financial support, not love.

If you meant something different, you should have been clearer.

I won't even touch the "subservient" aspect of your post.

You disagree?

Disagree with what? Neeranam's indirect implication that women are looking for money in the 1st quote? Or his 2nd quite where he contradicts his original post and questions whether I know what attraction/love is?

[thailampang2012]

Because you said Thai "girls"...I believe that you are referring to young women under 30, single, no children.....I cannot have any opinion about it, just because its have totally different motivation, financial situation, customs and family needs, than women over that age, probably divorced and with children, No way to do any generalization about women in general....Thai or not..and also the age of "farangs' commenting in this post makes a difference.