Dating with a disability in Thailand

[wespat34]

I'm new here guys and would like anyone's advice on the chance I have dating a Thai girl when I have a physical disability . I am 47 and not ugly , have a limp but get around ok .

I have spent a fair bit of the last eight years visiting Koh Samui . I may be looking in the wrong places but I have found the women to be stand off ish when I am attempting to date some if the women here . Often treating me differently as soon as they see me get off my bike and walk . Do you think it's a common occurrence here or is it my imagination. ? Not sure how to solve this as I do want to settle full time here one day.

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[seajae]

mate, my spine is ratsh*t and I suffer sciatica pretty well all the time, the genuine ones are out there, you just have to find one, I did. You just have to decide what you want, straight out sex or a fair dinkum relationship, you wont get the second one hanging around bars, just girls that only see the colour of your money. Look outside the tourist hangouts, more chances of finding a good one.

Edited March 20, 2014 by seajae

[maccaroni man]

Chances are on samui they thought you were drunk if you wobbled when you got off your bike

[somchaismith]

I know a bloke who had a short arm disability. He compensated for it by teaching himself quite fluent Thai language and went for Thai women with no English skills. When he secured a chick to become his GF (he had a couple in succession), he would not teach them any English, so preventing them from swapping him for a disability free foreigner.

[wespat34]

That sounds like a good plan !! I already know some Thai . Might go back to school !!

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[Ulysses G.]

I know a bloke who had a short arm disability. He compensated for it by teaching himself quite fluent Thai language and went for Thai women with no English skills. When he secured a chick to become his GF (he had a couple in succession), he would not teach them any English, so preventing them from swapping him for a disability free foreigner.

All is fair in love and war.

[wym]

They'll still move on anyway, if you insist on good-looking young ones anyway, (part of) the price you pay.

But sure if you don't mind mostly transactional relationships, you'll get excellent value for your money here.

You may even find yourself in a genuinely loving long-term relationship, no matter how it starts out, they don't call it Amazing Thailand for nothing.

But do make sure you don't run out of money, or return home long before you do. . .

[Skytrain2hell]

My best friend has cerebral palsy, but he is still able to walk. However, Thais either think he's drunk or had a bad motorcycle accident. They stare, point, and even laugh at him.

He met a wonderful girl from Bangkok University who learned more about his disability. They fell in love, got married, bought a house, and have a beautiful little girl together. There is plenty of hope especially among the more educated Thais. As always, it doesn't hurt to learn the language as well.

[oxo1947]

"I know a bloke who had a short arm disability" ----somchaismith

Is that the disability that comes with long pockets?---yes I have also known many ex-pats with this disability . Although usually its known by a different term in Thailand.

Edited March 21, 2014 by oxo1947

[somchaismith]

"I know a bloke who had a short arm disability" ----somchaismith

Is that the disability that comes with long pockets?---yes I have also known many ex-pats with this disability . Although usually its known by a different term in Thailand.

Regarding both the ailments, ones a birth defect and the other's brought upon us by fate. The solution which I previously mentioned was for the former. Though it does seem that it could be applied with success in either case.

[monkey4u]

mate, my spine is ratsh*t and I suffer sciatica pretty well all the time, the genuine ones are out there, you just have to find one, I did. You just have to decide what you want, straight out sex or a fair dinkum relationship, you wont get the second one hanging around bars, just girls that only see the colour of your money. Look outside the tourist hangouts, more chances of finding a good one.

I agree 100 %

I found one, but I think she is blind

Im fat and poor but she loves me for me, not my bank balance

[ggt]

The only disability recognized in Thailand...is the inability to cough up money on demand...

[clasship]

I had a stroke so I limp a bit and my arm is also affected, so far I find it's not an issue, there are plenty of women who like and want a happy, kind, positive and smiling man, be that and the world is your lobster.

[wespat34]

I had a stroke so I limp a bit and my arm is also affected, so far I find it's not an issue, there are plenty of women who like and want a happy, kind, positive and smiling man, be that and the world is your lobster.

well said !!

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[yourauntbob]

see my post here

http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/topic/712088-what-foreigners-dont-get-about-thai-girls/#entry7581074

especially after the women here know your not just a tourist and plan on sticking around, its is pretty easy to pick up a decent women here that will care for you beyond what you could imagine. just make yourself avaiable, smile, and when you talk with women here be sure to use a bit of Thai and show your intent to stay in the country.

Edited March 21, 2014 by yourauntbob

[godden]

I'm skint is that also a disability

[Gandtee]

I know a bloke with short arms. He couldn't reach his wallet. Needless to say he couldn't get a GF either

[clasship]

I should add I have an acquaintance in England, an average looking man but with a character and personality the women just adore, he blew one leg clean off whilst setting up pyrotechnics for filming. He got on with life, and is indeed full of life, and I have personally seen him pull stunning women and bed them that night and they keep coming back for more, (obviously his middle leg never took a direct hit), it's all down to self confidence with him.

I've had a few Russians, why Russian's I don't know, tell me when walking past me "you need to sleep it off" mistaking my limp for me being drunk, it has pissed me off, I feel like explaining to them I had a stroke, but in the end I find it's not worth it, I just accept I had a stroke and get on with it, they just don't know I had a stroke. That's the secret, accept what's happened and get on with life. My stroke was terrible, eye sight, speech, dead RHS, but instead of saying "why me" I accepted it and worked hard to get back what I could and made a fantastic recovery, I started walking again after 4 months, those that never accepted what had happened did not get better, quite a few died. I don't know how bad your limp is, but hopefully you're just feeling self conscious. Another thing I did was spend some time with really disabled people, and I mean really fvcked up people in wheelchairs and used keyboards to speak. After those 7 weeks I appreciated I was bloody lucky to be as healthy as I was, to have regained what I had, you just need to appreciate what you have is really nothing much, it's far more of an issue to you than the girls, feel good about your small disability and go make a nice girl really happy.

[bonobo]

I have a friend who was wounded quite severely in Vietnam, and his condition has gotten worse over the last several years. He also got into legal problems with his business partner in the US, and so his financial situation has gotten worse as well. Yet he has a Thai woman who is devoted to him. My wife has spoken with her many times about their situation, and she is convinced that the woman is truly and deeply in love with the man.

[NCFC]

A friend of mine has a spinal curvature. He's been in a relationship with a really nice Thai woman for the past three years and they are planning on marrying next year. He's a pensioner so doesn't have a lot of money. They seem very happy together. Keep a positive outlook on life, Thais don't like miserable people.

[khunPer]

»I have spent a fair bit of the last eight years visiting Koh Samui . I may be looking in the wrong places but I have found the women to be stand off ish when I am attempting to date some if the women here . Often treating me differently as soon as they see me get off my bike and walk . Do you think it's a common occurrence here or is it my imagination. ? Not sure how to solve this as I do want to settle full time here one day.«

I’m sorry to say, but I would think, that Koh Samui might be a bit difficult, if you are searching for younger good-looking girls interested in a farang relationship, that island is crowded by younger handsome (not disabled) men. (I live at Koh Samui, so nothing bad said about the island).

I have heard about other disabled people complaining about dating at Samui – even in the nightlife – but I don’t know about chances elsewhere. Why not try a week’s “holiday” at some other tourist places like Hua Hin, Phuket and eventually Pattaya or…? and check if you get more attention there.

Wish you good luck.

Edited March 21, 2014 by khunPer

[clasship]

»I have spent a fair bit of the last eight years visiting Koh Samui . I may be looking in the wrong places but I have found the women to be stand off ish when I am attempting to date some if the women here . Often treating me differently as soon as they see me get off my bike and walk . Do you think it's a common occurrence here or is it my imagination. ? Not sure how to solve this as I do want to settle full time here one day.«

I’m sorry to say, but I would think, that Koh Samui might be a bit difficult, if you are searching for younger good-looking girls interested in a farang relationship, that island is crowded by younger handsome (not disabled) men. (I live at Koh Samui, so nothing bad said about the island).

I have heard about other disabled people complaining about dating at Samui – even in the nightlife – but I don’t know about chances elsewhere. Why not try a week’s “holiday” at some other tourist places like Hua Hin, Phuket and eventually Pattaya or…? and check if you get more attention there.

Wish you good luck.

I am sorry you wrote what you did, firstly the person who posted the question has a limp, and that is quite a minor disability when looking at the big picture, he has not got half his face missing, indeed he says he is good looking, nor is he missing a whole leg or arm. I would have assumed that if you read all the replies a minor disability is not considered that important at all. I have been in Samui all winter, I am guessing I am more disabled than he, and I don't have a a problem with girls. I spent all last winter in Phuket, I had no problem there either, albeit I much prefer Samui. I was on the mainland before that, again no problem. Some Thai girls may well only want a 100% toned, 6 pack, Greek God with a single brain cell, (which is normally dead) who can't pass a mirror without looking at himself, but does our original poster want that type of girl? Would any of us? I say again, if one is positive, kind, fun, good company and happy, 95% of girls will overlook any minor disability and all too often major disabilities. On that note I have a very bad heart as well, it is mainly dead tissue after many heart attacks, I was with a girl who had a friend who I had been with, I asked her back to my place, she said she really liked me but was "worried about being in the paper if someone had a heart attack", I replied "if you die, you die" I took that line from a film, she cracked up laughing...... and I made her breakfast in the morning.

[khunPer]

»I have spent a fair bit of the last eight years visiting Koh Samui . I may be looking in the wrong places but I have found the women to be stand off ish when I am attempting to date some if the women here . Often treating me differently as soon as they see me get off my bike and walk . Do you think it's a common occurrence here or is it my imagination. ? Not sure how to solve this as I do want to settle full time here one day.«

I’m sorry to say, but I would think, that Koh Samui might be a bit difficult, if you are searching for younger good-looking girls interested in a farang relationship, that island is crowded by younger handsome (not disabled) men. (I live at Koh Samui, so nothing bad said about the island).

I have heard about other disabled people complaining about dating at Samui – even in the nightlife – but I don’t know about chances elsewhere. Why not try a week’s “holiday” at some other tourist places like Hua Hin, Phuket and eventually Pattaya or…? and check if you get more attention there.

Wish you good luck.

I am sorry you wrote what you did, firstly the person who posted the question has a limp, and that is quite a minor disability when looking at the big picture, he has not got half his face missing, indeed he says he is good looking, nor is he missing a whole leg or arm. I would have assumed that if you read all the replies a minor disability is not considered that important at all. I have been in Samui all winter, I am guessing I am more disabled than he, and I don't have a a problem with girls. I spent all last winter in Phuket, I had no problem there either, albeit I much prefer Samui. I was on the mainland before that, again no problem. Some Thai girls may well only want a 100% toned, 6 pack, Greek God with a single brain cell, (which is normally dead) who can't pass a mirror without looking at himself, but does our original poster want that type of girl? Would any of us? I say again, if one is positive, kind, fun, good company and happy, 95% of girls will overlook any minor disability and all too often major disabilities. On that note I have a very bad heart as well, it is mainly dead tissue after many heart attacks, I was with a girl who had a friend who I had been with, I asked her back to my place, she said she really liked me but was "worried about being in the paper if someone had a heart attack", I replied "if you die, you die" I took that line from a film, she cracked up laughing...... and I made her breakfast in the morning.

I sincerely apologize if I have offended somebody, that was indeed not my intention.

I just wished to help OP in a positive way, by suggesting checking some other places and compare, since OP has a problem at Samui. Glad to learn you have no problems.

[jomcondo]

OP do you not notice the same reaction to your disability in other countries?

[fatdrunkandstupid]

Don't every go out in the sun. Make sure your skin is as white as possible. That is my tip.

Don't worry at all about your gimpy leg. I am fat, drunk and stupid and even I can get Thai girls.

Make sure you learn Thai...

[wespat34]

OP do you not notice the same reaction to your disability in other countries?

nowhere near as much . That's why I posted this subject . I am a positive a happy person . But definately treated a little differently in Thailand

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[clasship]

khunPer, on 21 Mar 2014 - 11:53, said: I sincerely apologize if I have offended somebody, that was indeed not my intention.

I just wished to help OP in a positive way, by suggesting checking some other places and compare, since OP has a problem at Samui. Glad to learn you have no problems.

You are a gentleman, and I don't think you owe anyone an apology, I was just thinking suggesting he move to somewhere else not really helpful or good advice. It is difficult understanding how much the OP is disabled, but a limp is as I say only a limp, and we are not even talking about his middle leg. Moving away won't change the dynamics of this issue, the limp will go everywhere he goes. If Oscar Pistorius who has no legs can pull stunning women, our OP friend with a limp, good looks and I presume a working trouser snake should really have no problems, that's once he rightfully regains his confidence walks up to girls and smiles at them. As I say jokes go a long way, a few moths ago I was on my way to a bathroom in a bar, I stopped and told a stunner " Iv'e not only had a stroke but have a bad heart as well, could you help me?". She gave me a look and said "yes, how can I help you?" As quick as a flash I replied "My Dr told me not to lift anything heavy".........It took a few seconds then the penny dropped, she cracked up and I chatted to her all night, now in truth I never got to bang her,.... but I did bang her friend two weeks later. Being good company does go a long way, girls just need to get to know you to like you, or maybe it's their friend who you end up with. So I say to the OP, yourself consciousness is really your disability, not your limp, treasure life as life is not a rehearsal, remember every day above ground is a good day and don't expect to get off with all the women you meet, because that never happens to us mere mortals, and enjoy the odd one who you do take home.......Best of luck and if it's not too much trouble can you please post pictures of the ones you do pull and bed or where we can buy the DVD.

[wespat34]

There has been some good points on here . Thanks for all input . A common message seems to be I should be kind , confident and just do it !!! Basically !! Thanks for your input guys .

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[Craftsman258]

The only disability recognized in Thailand...is the inability to cough up money on demand...

I suppose in a way this will be the experience of anyone who thinks they can buy everything. As in all walks of life you only get what you pay for.

[MobileContent]

I had a friend in Sakon Nakhon who was disabled and he died last year. His GF that stayed with him for 6 years was devastated when he passed away.

BTW: They made in Pattaya but moved to Isaan five years ago.

Edited March 21, 2014 by MobileContent