How to deal with a bad Thai Mother

[Andre0720]

My neighbour, a Swiss guy, had a similar problem, Thai gambling wife and 2 kids.

Loan Sharks, screaming, money, money, money.

One day, he just left with his 2 kids. Was able to boad a plane to Switzerland. She never signed anything. She just woke up alone. She dissappeared, never saw her again. Neither did the loan sharks...

End of story.

Edit...Or maybe the loan sharks found her. Would explain why we never saw her again.

[A1Str8]

The wife demands, expects...the loan boy threatens etc.

Is there a circus in town? Without any disrespect, what your son needs to do is stop letting people play with him, and tell him what to do!! They are going to use him as long as he let them.

So be a man, pack his stuff and leave. Not temporarily. Permanently. Then those lows, the so called wifey and the loan slut can deal with each other all they like. The wife can demand more money from him and he can threaten her to give it back.

Sent from my GT-I9500 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

[WitawatWatawit]

Impress upon your son the need to gather as much evidence about his wife as he can - photograph and record every damn thing. It's just possible that one day he may find he needs it. Sure, she has signed over sole custody rights, but hey, this is Thailand and she is Thai. Take nothing for granted.

[remobb]

I believe but am not 100% sure that the Thai grandmother would be able to help with the passport. In the absence of the mother they ask for a senior female member of the family to sign anything.

This option is worth checking more on to be sure.

The reason I think this is possible, when I wanted my son to get his Thai ID, I said his mother was not available and they suggested his grandmother.

Check it out. Don't forget the "Ask a Lawyer" on Thai Visa.

[shaurene]

Thanks for your advise

I have moved them now to a small Hotel until the end of Sonkran then will try to find somewhere else to live but she will sell all of the furniture and anything else they have.

He wants to stay at the School where he works and find somewhere local to live away from her.

Her name is on the rental agreement so he is not tied to that but he will not get his deposit back as she has wrecked the house

She took his motor bike but he managed to find it now.

That is so bloody sad Mate, if he has sole custardy signed papers he should have no problem getting passports for the kids or ID cards. Help him as much as you can. Very best of luck to him. Gambling is a very very big problem with women here lot of Falang have same problem.

[shaurene]

The wife demands, expects...the loan boy threatens etc.

Is there a circus in town? Without any disrespect, what your son needs to do is stop letting people play with him, and tell him what to do!! They are going to use him as long as he let them.

So be a man, pack his stuff and leave. Not temporarily. Permanently. Then those lows, the so called wifey and the loan slut can deal with each other all they like. The wife can demand more money from him and he can threaten her to give it back.

Sent from my GT-I9500 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

Have you been in the same situation, sounds like telling him to be a man, everything is so easy with the so called experts advice like yours, not as easy as you think Mate. Loan sharks will and can do some bad things. If you have any common sense advice lets hear it.

[Showbags]

The wife demands, expects...the loan boy threatens etc.

Is there a circus in town? Without any disrespect, what your son needs to do is stop letting people play with him, and tell him what to do!! They are going to use him as long as he let them.

So be a man, pack his stuff and leave. Not temporarily. Permanently. Then those lows, the so called wifey and the loan slut can deal with each other all they like. The wife can demand more money from him and he can threaten her to give it back.

Sent from my GT-I9500 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

Have you been in the same situation, sounds like telling him to be a man, everything is so easy with the so called experts advice like yours, not as easy as you think Mate. Loan sharks will and can do some bad things. If you have any common sense advice lets hear it.

He's a tough guy....no need for nuttin else.

[art vandelay]

He wants to stay at the School where he works and find somewhere local to live away from her.

but is that really the best for him and the children? if he is a qualified and experienced teacher he will have no problem finding a job in another town or city in thailand.

i would suggest a complete break from the situation and environment is the best course of action

[Rimbuman]

Thanks for your advise

I have moved them now to a small Hotel until the end of Sonkran then will try to find somewhere else to live but she will sell all of the furniture and anything else they have.

He wants to stay at the School where he works and find somewhere local to live away from her.

Her name is on the rental agreement so he is not tied to that but he will not get his deposit back as she has wrecked the house

She took his motor bike but he managed to find it now.

I know it is non of my business, but no matter how much he likes the local school, surely staying there and finding a place nearby is not a good idea. Thai village drums will beat, and he will not escape the torment. As Costas said, move away, the sooner the better. I wish you luck and also think he is lucky to have your help.

I definitely agree there is no escape unless it's done right, that woman is bonkers and will use any means available.

[Rimbuman]

My neighbour, a Swiss guy, had a similar problem, Thai gambling wife and 2 kids.

Loan Sharks, screaming, money, money, money.

One day, he just left with his 2 kids. Was able to boad a plane to Switzerland. She never signed anything. She just woke up alone. She dissappeared, never saw her again. Neither did the loan sharks...

End of story.

Edit...Or maybe the loan sharks found her. Would explain why we never saw her again.

Did he permanently move to Switzerland or did he come back?

[Ryancr]

Hi all

Thanks for your advices, some good some bad some indifferent.

My Son has now found a place way out of town and possibly a new job but I think my best bet would to for me to pay off the Sharks

Approx 50000 Bht at least I will still have my Grand children and Son complete with a pair of legs and tell them that he is going back to the UK so if they lend her any more money they can put her back on the streets of BK where she belongs to pay it back and she can then rot in Hell.

I don't think I need to give you 3 guesses who runs the Loan Sharks and gambling Dens .

At least we may be able to sleep at night without waking up and worrying what's happened to him and the kids.

Regards.

Ryancr

[laolover88]

Regrettably this far from uncommon.

You do not say about the children. Are they yours/hers or whatever? How old are they?

Where is he from

I think you are getting good advice from people who have had a hard time.

As a start:

1. He should get another job a long way away. You don't say where he is. And though he may well need references from the old school they don't have to be new job specific. In a month it is the start of the school year. Good time to move

2. Make sure he has the original birth certificates and house book(s) of the kids

3. Make sure he has copies of her ID card and Tabian Ban and preferably any bank books or cards. If she has a passport. Lose it.

4. Make sure she has NONE of his details

5 He needs a lawyer, but if he has sole custody I think, at a price, he can swing most things

It is not cut and run. It simple sensible precautions to protect himself and the children. What does her family have to say?

Good wishes

[Ryancr]

My Grandson is 4 and my granddaughter is 5

He has the Birth certificates but not the the kids House books but none of her details as she has never had a bank account.

He can get good references from his School as he was highly regarded there.

Her Family does not want to know her as she has dumped 2 children on them about 10 years ago which my Son was not aware of.

And she seems to have a bad track record as things like this have happened before

[mogy]

I have seen this so many times in Thailand. Par for the course? Not just Issan girls, hi-so too. There are some good people here, but they are in a minority. With children it's difficult to just walk away. In the end, I walked away from a son who was as bad as his mother -sociopathic. I then had peace and the only regret I have is meeting her in the first place. Tell your son, if he can't leave the kids, just move elsewhere, such as Chiang Mai. There are plenty of teaching jobs here and I'm sure someone can take care of the kids whilst he works.

Just for the record Ian, the Northeast does have an upper class. There are hi-so Isaan, middle class Isaan and poor Isaan. There are many rich business men and women, singers and superstars and elite families from the Northeast. Not all Isaan girls are uneducated ladies of the night.

And not to forget women like my wife.It's sometimes the guy's own stupidity to "fall in love" with a bar girl. She's a farmer's daughter, so not middle class, but she's cool and everybody respects her.

You don't have to be from middle class, or a hiso to be good to others.

Yep, you can get that thing outta bar, but not the bar out of her.Would you marry a whore from the UK,Kirghistan, Germany, or elsewhere, if you know all about her?

Not sure who's the bigger idiot here; Ianf with his 'There are some good people here but they are in a minority'......what ? surely meant to be the other way around ?! or you've lived an unusually pitiful existence in the LOS.

Or you Sirchai, with your ridiculous closing line.

It's a close battle at the moment but I'm sure one of you will reply with a winner.

To the OP; like others have said, your son has to walk away or he will end up getting hurt or worse

[Showbags]

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Hi all
Thanks for your advices, some good some bad some indifferent.
My Son has now found a place way out of town and possibly a new job but I think my best bet would to for me to pay off the Sharks
Approx 50000 Bht at least I will still have my Grand children and Son complete with a pair of legs and tell them that he is going back to the UK so if they lend her any more money they can put her back on the streets of BK where she belongs to pay it back and she can then rot in Hell.
I don't think I need to give you 3 guesses who runs the Loan Sharks and gambling Dens .
At least we may be able to sleep at night without waking up and worrying what's happened to him and the kids.
Regards.
Ryancr

Jesus H.....don't pay them, move away, long ways away...and leave it all for her to sort out...her debts, tell them/her to deal with it/her themselves...not your son or you.

For christs sake, you have been told a dozen times here by people that know what to do and what goes on....either listen and do it now...or ignore it and so be it.

I am still of the opinion that with the sole custody and others have also said so, he can go get what is required himself and get on with life without her.....just do it.

In fact, if you are willing to hand over 50k...use 10k of it to pay her to sign whats required now, tomorrow and get it done....promise the world, then disappear.....do not pay them or they will simply come looking for future payments for future debts....you will be labelled an easy mark and so be it.

[LomSak27]

I know it is non of my business, but no matter how much he likes the local school, surely staying there and finding a place nearby is not a good idea. Thai village drums will beat, and he will not escape the torment. As Costas said, move away, the sooner the better. I wish you luck and also think he is lucky to have your help.

Great advice and from a few people I know who were in similar situations; that is the only way out.

You son *(and perhaps you) are kidding yourself if you think he can stay in the same school, city, perhaps even country. The longer you wait the uglier it will be - BUT you know that already.

[laolover88]

Have the kids got UK birth certificates and passports?

[samran]

My Grandson is 4 and my granddaughter is 5

He has the Birth certificates but not the the kids House books but none of her details as she has never had a bank account.

He can get good references from his School as he was highly regarded there.

Her Family does not want to know her as she has dumped 2 children on them about 10 years ago which my Son was not aware of.

And she seems to have a bad track record as things like this have happened before

Does he have sole custody yet?

Birth certificates are good, even if he doesn't have the house book. If he has a Thai friend who he trusts (and vice versa), the kids name can be moved there without the need to get the old house book documents. After that, just make sure he gets a copy of the house record.

[Ryancr]

He has the Thai Birth certificates but we need to get them translated by a certified translator and also the letter from the courts that confirms he is the sole carer for the Children.

He needs them translated to get UK passports for them

He has many professional Thai friends who may be able to help him with the house book.

Thanks for your advice Samran

[samran]

He has the Thai Birth certificates but we need to get them translated by a certified translator and also the letter from the courts that confirms he is the sole carer for the Children.

He needs them translated to get UK passports for them

He has many professional Thai friends who may be able to help him with the house book.

Thanks for your advice Samran

with that note from the courts for sole custody, he'll be able to get them Thai passports as well, which will be needed for departing and re-entering Thailand. Thai passports are very simple and straight foward to apply for. Don't skimp on that step.

[Ryancr]

Thanks Samran.

Yes we do want to get the Children Thai passports so they do not have to do visa runs with my son.

We would like to bring them over to the UK to visit us as my wife cannot travel at the moment due to ill health but we hope this improves in the near future.

We keep in touch on Skype but it's not the same as being with them as we only see them once a year when the weather is not to hot, but we stay for a couple of months which is good for all of us.

Regards

Ryancr

[recycler]

Hi all

Thanks for your advices, some good some bad some indifferent.

My Son has now found a place way out of town and possibly a new job but I think my best bet would to for me to pay off the Sharks

Approx 50000 Bht at least I will still have my Grand children and Son complete with a pair of legs and tell them that he is going back to the UK so if they lend her any more money they can put her back on the streets of BK where she belongs to pay it back and she can then rot in Hell.

I don't think I need to give you 3 guesses who runs the Loan Sharks and gambling Dens .

At least we may be able to sleep at night without waking up and worrying what's happened to him and the kids.

Regards.

Ryancr

Don't pay the loan sharks, they will keep coming and for sure know where to find you!

Use the money to get your son and the kids out of the country ASAP!

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Hi all
Thanks for your advices, some good some bad some indifferent.
My Son has now found a place way out of town and possibly a new job but I think my best bet would to for me to pay off the Sharks
Approx 50000 Bht at least I will still have my Grand children and Son complete with a pair of legs and tell them that he is going back to the UK so if they lend her any more money they can put her back on the streets of BK where she belongs to pay it back and she can then rot in Hell.
I don't think I need to give you 3 guesses who runs the Loan Sharks and gambling Dens .
At least we may be able to sleep at night without waking up and worrying what's happened to him and the kids.
Regards.
Ryancr

Sorry to tell you but out of town is not really good and he will be in the same problem in a couple of weeks time.

Don't pay them off just ask your son to move, otherwise they will come again on the next bet that goes wrong.

Been their done that.

[marstons]

one thing is 100% he will not stay at the same school and her not find him, also the debt collectors. 2 choices live the hell or move along way away. Even that will be tough if she gets wind of the move. Next best see if the cops are interested in the gambling ring, but he seems pretty will stuffed unless he can just walk away in a day. Been there got the T shirt. He is in deep crap.

[tawinr]

English men always attracted to uneducated thai girls they met at the bar and fall in love with them and have kids blabla. Well they are many decent girls and well educated from wealthy family but English men just didn't like them! too bad!

[bandos2000]

i agree with mars, if he is still anywhere nearby, this crap will never end , they will still lend the witch money , and still come collecting from you know who. best thing , get the hell out of dodge, dont pay those f....ers anything and start over.unfortunately the evils of gambling with most thais who are caught up in it will never end, especially while they have a source of funds. i worked in the border casino , have seen many sad stories, including a gf i had for a couple years. she was set for life this girl , had a rich bf since she was young , unfortunately he passed away, but did leave her quite well off, at least until she discovered gambling, lost the lot, hit rock bottom.was never a bar girl ,but i believe she has moved now to pattaya for work , when i saw there was no chance of her understanding you can never win, i had to get out , good luck to her , and op, hope everything works out and you see ur grand kids soon.