Wife asks for money to massage me?

[empireboy]

Thai ignorance fosters superstitions of varying kinds.... patient systematic education is the peaceful solution...

[daveAustin]

Similar to walking into a Thai Chinese shop. If you are the first customer of the day, they expect you to buy something.

IME that lot expect everyone to buy at all times!

Like the flag, btw. Looks so much brighter without that ball-&-chain-around-the-ankle blue

[Ricardo]

I believe there's a similar superstition here, that you would never just 'give' someone a knife, but 'sell' it to them for a Baht.

[daveAustin]

Why would you expect a massage from your wife? Your wife is a partner, not a servant, have respect for each other. There are people more qualified for this and being in Bangkok you know where to find them.

More to the point, why wouldn't you? Are you a droid or just kind of a bit weird? Just what is wrong with having a back rub off your significant other, for both parties?

Regard the op, I go for the superstition angle. While tempting to think the money-grabbing obvious, superstitions run very deep in this part of the world... unless of course she demands full payment, at which point you walk.

[Jubes]

I wanted to pick up on that she can earn 60$ an hour in Oz.

So a Thai massage is more than 60$ an hour there

not sure if my mother inlaw (uggh that sounds horrible. My dads wife sounds better) makes decent coin doing massages in Brisbane. Ive no idea if happy endings are involved or not but the joint has a special on at the moment @ $60.00 for the hour.

http://www.mystylethaimassage.com/

a discount @ $60? What a rip, gotta be a rub & tug for sure @ that much. Any place's in oz do soapy massages yet?

[Torrens54]

Tell her that if you pay, it makes her appear like a Prostitute,

You might also tell her she has to pay YOU for letting her come to Oz., so she can earn AUD$60 an hour doing her Rub'n-tug.

Starting to think that instead of us being called "FERANG we should be known as "ATMs"

[ghworker2010]

classy girl

[biggles45]

"$60 dollar in aus, ok, but that is for massage with an extra"

Not so, I have 2 massage places near me on the sunshine coast, $65 an hour, both with middle aged girls. They massage,in an open area of their shops, men and women pay the same price

[Scarpolo]

"$60 dollar in aus, ok, but that is for massage with an extra"

Not so, I have 2 massage places near me on the sunshine coast, $65 an hour, both with middle aged girls. They massage,in an open area of their shops, men and women pay the same price

There are so many Thai massage joints in Los Angeles that they are competing for $35 an hour.

Which makes me wonder, how are all those Thai's getting Visas?

[monkey4u]

I wanted to pick up on that she can earn 60$ an hour in Oz.

So a Thai massage is more than 60$ an hour there

With a happy ending it is

[thejcb]

She "say"... he "say" and you are Australian ?

Your example : "she even say if family member still have to charge something"

Correct English "she also said that even if the massage is for a family member she still has to charge:"

Is grammar constructed differently in Australia ?

Or are you training in this stupid Tinglish language one hears so much here?

The pigeon English many ENGLISH SPEAKING people use even when speaking to fluent English speaking people.

Supposedly its to make Thais understand but it only makes their grammar worse................ plus it pi**es off English speaking people who wonder "why are you speaking to me like that when I can understand perfect grammatically spoken English"

[stickylies]

oh boy... and then people ask me why i don't have thai gf/wife/concubine...

TIT; gf, wife and concubine.

u mean:

TIT; paying for gf, wife and concubine.

it's part of their culture, there's always the what's-in-it-for-me. i have no problem with that but it's not my style. i like to GIVE without RECEIVING and vice versa.

in fact i'm a big fan of giving it bigtime without receiving perse (naughty very naughty)

[kwaussie]

Thanks Biggles for clarifying prices for straight massage in Brisbane Australia

Take note to please tip hard working masseuse in Thailand when paying 300 Bht

[harrry]

I can actually understand her with this as if she studied this craft she has been taught that she now is a professional and should chargfe for her work and not do it for free.

Many tradesmen are taught the same as if you are say an elecrician and wire all your family and friends houses free you do not have time to make money.

The magic is just a good way of excusing it.

[KamalaRider]

It means that you have a wife but not a real relationship.

Go ahead and pay her but give her a rent bill for living in your home, and dont share your food with her.

Sorry to say but you're wrong.

Most likely she have been told by her instructor to charge everyone for massage.

As it is a profession, she "has" to charge something, but the instructor left out she could do her husband without charge or the instructor assumes she is with him for the money so he just gave her the initiative to charge.

I'm very sure there were no explanation to why, or just a blatant lie from the instructor.

Some people here in Thailand also belive when doing massage on someone, you actually massage out sickness like, cancer, different kind of deceases, skin problems and even liver and kidney problems.

Thus exposing the masseuse to those sicknesses.

Whata ya do in a country like this. I haven't made my wife to stop believing in stupidity, so why expect any farrang to be able to do that.

My wife still believes she can dream about lucky numbers or see numbers on a frog.

Apart from that, she is quite educated and middle class like.

[Scarpolo]

It means that you have a wife but not a real relationship.

Go ahead and pay her but give her a rent bill for living in your home, and dont share your food with her.

Sorry to say but you're wrong.

Most likely she have been told by her instructor to charge everyone for massage.

As it is a profession, she "has" to charge something, but the instructor left out she could do her husband without charge or the instructor assumes she is with him for the money so he just gave her the initiative to charge.

I'm very sure there were no explanation to why, or just a blatant lie from the instructor.

Some people here in Thailand also belive when doing massage on someone, you actually massage out sickness like, cancer, different kind of deceases, skin problems and even liver and kidney problems.

Thus exposing the masseuse to those sicknesses.

Whata ya do in a country like this. I haven't made my wife to stop believing in stupidity, so why expect any farrang to be able to do that.

My wife still believes she can dream about lucky numbers or see numbers on a frog.

Apart from that, she is quite educated and middle class like.

I didnt know frogs gave winning numbers

[risky11]

Why would you expect a massage from your wife? Your wife is a partner, not a servant, have respect for each other. There are people more qualified for this and being in Bangkok you know where to find them.

Mangina alert...

[kwaussie]

She "say"... he "say" and you are Australian ?

Your example : "she even say if family member still have to charge something"

Correct English "she also said that even if the massage is for a family member she still has to charge:"

Is grammar constructed differently in Australia ?

Or are you training in this stupid Tinglish language one hears so much here?

The pigeon English many ENGLISH SPEAKING people use even when speaking to fluent English speaking people.

Supposedly its to make Thais understand but it only makes their grammar worse................ plus it pi**es off English speaking people who wonder "why are you speaking to me like that when I can understand perfect grammatically spoken English"

Thanks for pulling me up, its very easy to get slack with grammar i agree with you wholeheartedly.

[mrtoad]

It's just superstition, like giving a wallet without money in it. Don't mind it, jut give her a baht for luck. She starts charging 300 an hour then you got a problem.

Oz

Never heard that one before, I better not tell Mrs T.

[rotary]

Better cancel that Visa I would think

[kennypowers]

Instead of making accusations over the integrity of the OPs wife, how about we do some reading on upcountry superstitions and customs. It's amazing how many foreigners marry/date Thai women and have zero idea about their beliefs, superstitions and culture in general.

You will find that certain superstitions are bound to certain areas; for example, a superstition or belief practiced in lower Korat may have its roots in Cambodian culture and be seemingly unheard of by those living in upper Isaan or central Thailand, whereas beliefs among central Thais of Chinese descent may be unheard of by those living in Chiang Mai.

Thailand is an extremely diverse place with varying influences from different cultures and religions. If you can get past the "is she a prostitute or not" mentality it all becomes rather interesting.

[mrtoad]

I can actually understand her with this as if she studied this craft she has been taught that she now is a professional and should chargfe for her work and not do it for free.

Many tradesmen are taught the same as if you are say an elecrician and wire all your family and friends houses free you do not have time to make money.

The magic is just a good way of excusing it.

Just like BGs

[freebyrd]

Some of the replies here are really off the wall. I had a stroke some years ago, nerve damage to my feet and other areas. If I didn't get a foot massage at night I couldn't sleep. My partner, Khmer, gives me a massage no quesions asked, but then too many Thais are about money and little else and yes I was in a long term relationship with a Thai wife, 22 years actually and not the 5 - 7 years I saw someone else quote. I actually never thought of 'changing her for a younger model', or splitting for any reason until the gambling bug forced us apart. If my current partner has tension around the shoulders, I give her a massage to relieve the stress, do I ask her for money? No of course I don't.

Marriages/Partnerships are about give and take and if a man can't get a massage from his beloved now and again for all that he provides for the other half, may as well pack up and head back to where you were spawned.

[1FinickyOne]

This is funny stuff - just make a game of it and pay her… sometimes I make a game of it with my wife, I give her some money to open the gate and let me out… heck, I should probably charge you for reading and responding to this stuff… but of ocurse, you can earn it back by coming here and opening the gate for me…

[transam]

There are not many Thai folk that do anything unless cash is involved, that is the norm, BUT, to ask cash from a husband is a step to far in my opinion.

OP, lucky you don't have to move around in a wheel chair, could be very expensive at your place.

[WitawatWatawit]

"$60 dollar in aus, ok, but that is for massage with an extra"

Not so, I have 2 massage places near me on the sunshine coast, $65 an hour, both with middle aged girls. They massage,in an open area of their shops, men and women pay the same price

"... middle-aged girls ..."

For heaven's sake ... So what would that make them? 10 years of age? Stop being so patronising - they are women, not girls.

[elzach]

In another thread about a divorce, the OP's wife calculated that 10 years x the number of times having sex x 1500 baht = considerable sum of money, which she claimed.

Lesson: EVERYTHING is monetized in a Thai relationship. You learn that, life with a Thai wife will be easier to understand for you. You accept that, that's a different story...let's see, what would we call somebody who accepts that back home?

Edited April 18, 2014 by elzach

[elzach]

Instead of making accusations over the integrity of the OPs wife, how about we do some reading on upcountry superstitions and customs. It's amazing how many foreigners marry/date Thai women and have zero idea about their beliefs, superstitions and culture in general.

You will find that certain superstitions are bound to certain areas; for example, a superstition or belief practiced in lower Korat may have its roots in Cambodian culture and be seemingly unheard of by those living in upper Isaan or central Thailand, whereas beliefs among central Thais of Chinese descent may be unheard of by those living in Chiang Mai.

Thailand is an extremely diverse place with varying influences from different cultures and religions. If you can get past the "is she a prostitute or not" mentality it all becomes rather interesting.

Assuming that's true, what's the inference? that some Thai people should grow up? Ah shocking news.

[MickGC]

"$60 dollar in aus, ok, but that is for massage with an extra"

Not so, I have 2 massage places near me on the sunshine coast, $65 an hour, both with middle aged girls. They massage,in an open area of their shops, men and women pay the same price

"... middle-aged girls ..."

For heaven's sake ... So what would that make them? 10 years of age? Stop being so patronising - they are women, not girls.

Don't be so pedantic. English is a flexible language. An example used in context, "I'm off for a night out with the girls."

[Zendo]

That is really strange... Massage or any other service is never charged between real friends or couple.

Superstition might be the reason why, so let explain that to her that every service given to somebody is an exchange of ENERGY, if you have no relationship/connection with the subject then it's a normal and acceptable way to get money for it,

money is a way of sharing energy too, but less "RICH" than sharing moments, helping together, listening to eachothers, thinking of eachothers..etc

It seems she might not understood what the teacher said, or maybe the teacher never get a clue from what the previous teacher said too... but it is obvious that it is not necessary to charge people you love as there is a constant energy sharing process involved, but yeah I think that this woman is like a child, so treat her like a child : one massage >> 2 baths , that is a fair price to buy candies !