rideswings Posted April 18, 2014 Share Posted April 18, 2014 I have been dating my GF for almost a year, and we get along well. Lately I have begun to notice that sometimes I will share a story with her, or simply tell her something, and minutes later she will ask me the very same thing again as if she forgot what we talked about. For example, last night she asked me how my border run trip went, and i told her I sat where we normally sit in the van, and it was a good driver, easy trip. Not 5 minutes later, she looked at me with a straight face and asked where did i sit in the van. I started to think that maybe she just doesnt pay attention when we talk, but this has happened so many times, its starting to get a bit scary and I am worried about her. She is her early 30's, and what scares me is that my mom who is 89, does the same thing sometimes. For my mom, I think its understandable, but my gf is so young. She also often forgets other things, so Im thinking maybe a trip to the doctor would be in order. Im thinking it might be as simple as a vitamin deficiency, but it still worries me. I really care about her, and this might be small thing, but I want to help her. Thanks! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post abhaya Posted April 19, 2014 Popular Post Share Posted April 19, 2014 Probably a language poblem or she doesn't listen. 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Issangeorge Posted April 19, 2014 Popular Post Share Posted April 19, 2014 I find many times I'll tell my wife something and it seems to go through one ear and out the other, I wouldn't worry too much about it. Sent from my i-mobile IQ 6 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mangkhut Posted April 19, 2014 Share Posted April 19, 2014 A trip to the doctor couild be a starting point. Doing some tests and some draw some blood to check her nutrious staus, electrolytes, hemoglobinlevel (red blood cells), infection status or whatever the doctor wants. There is something called a "MMS" - "mini-mental-status" that is much used where I am from (Scandinavia) to check persons for dementia, memory loss, brain damage etc. Its a good predictor to see how the brain works and memory-errors especially. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post jacko45k Posted April 19, 2014 Popular Post Share Posted April 19, 2014 Here is a simple test. 'Honey, I will give you 10,000 baht later' See if she forgets that! 32 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post ppmacready Posted April 19, 2014 Popular Post Share Posted April 19, 2014 I find many times I'll tell my wife something and it seems to go through one ear and out the other, I wouldn't worry too much about it. Sent from my i-mobile IQ 6 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app Same with mine. I assumed there wasn't enough in side to stop it. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post BudRight Posted April 19, 2014 Popular Post Share Posted April 19, 2014 Mine says that I do that. Wait...what is this thread about? 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meatboy Posted April 19, 2014 Share Posted April 19, 2014 Here is a simple test. 'Honey, I will give you 10,000 baht later' See if she forgets that! she will if you ask for it back don't worry its quite common in Thailand. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Retiredandhappyhere Posted April 19, 2014 Popular Post Share Posted April 19, 2014 To be fair, Thai girls want to please their partner, so they often pretend to understand everything they say, even though they may be lacking in English ability or in general education. In which case, the same subject can come up later on and to them it is a new one, which can be a bit annoying to her partner. Alternatively, as is often the case, they just do not listen at all because they have no interest in the conversation. Recently, when my girlfriend and I were having a small argument, I gave in jokingly saying that I wanted to avoid World War 3. Somewhat unusually, she was actually listening at the time but had no idea what I was talking about as she had never heard of the previous two. In that case, it was simply lack of education and not a language problem. 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Sheryl Posted April 19, 2014 Popular Post Share Posted April 19, 2014 A key question is whether she does this with other things or only with things you have said. Is she having trouble retaining things hern Thai friends say to her? Forgetting what she was doing in the middle of a task? If not then indeed, she is either not really listening or it is a language problem. If this is new, it may be that there is something on her mind that is preoccuping her. If on the otjher hand she is unable to retain what anybody says tio her (in which case Thai friends and family will have noticed too), forgetting where she is/what she is doing then indeed a visit to a neurologiost is indicated. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rimmer Posted April 19, 2014 Share Posted April 19, 2014 Inflammatory racist troll post removed also quoted replies 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post bonobo Posted April 19, 2014 Popular Post Share Posted April 19, 2014 My wife often forgets what I just told her. I remind her, and she says "oh, yeah." She often relates that her family says she has the "brain of a goldfish," which is a Thai saying, as I understand it, that someone's memory is poor. We just watched a program on TV, though, that related that goldfish actually have memories of up to three months, so now, she trumpets that as a victory of sorts. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Phoenix1312 Posted April 19, 2014 Popular Post Share Posted April 19, 2014 She's not interested in what you say. Tell her you have no money and see if she remembers that 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tracker1 Posted April 19, 2014 Share Posted April 19, 2014 Same Same no different here in our household frustrating to say the least ! and even worse is my short term memory Now what was I doing mmmmm Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AhFarangJa Posted April 19, 2014 Share Posted April 19, 2014 I can't remember where I left her Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rideswings Posted April 19, 2014 Author Share Posted April 19, 2014 A key question is whether she does this with other things or only with things you have said. Is she having trouble retaining things hern Thai friends say to her? Forgetting what she was doing in the middle of a task? If not then indeed, she is either not really listening or it is a language problem. If this is new, it may be that there is something on her mind that is preoccuping her. If on the otjher hand she is unable to retain what anybody says tio her (in which case Thai friends and family will have noticed too), forgetting where she is/what she is doing then indeed a visit to a neurologiost is indicated. Thanks to everyone for for all the answers. Well, come to think of it, she does not do it with everything. She does not forget what she was doing in the middle of a task, she can sit for endless hours working and concentrating. And once I teach her to do something, she remembers every single step, that was one of the most amazing things I found about her when we first met and started working together. If a person is not really listening, could they actually take part in a conversation? Im not being facetious or sarcastic, but how could she share in a conversation and then forget 5 minutes later? Maybe she is just so relaxed after a long Songkran weekend, not sure. I will give it some more time and see how it is after a week or two. If its the same and she forgets after a few minutes, then maybe I am in the same boat with many posters here that she is pretending to listen just to be polite, but is actually tuning me out. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laislica Posted April 19, 2014 Share Posted April 19, 2014 Good on you OP for caring about your g/f but asking this crazy forum for advice? LOL. My wife is 20 years older and starting the menopause, is sometimes quite forgetful and it was beginning to worry her, she jokes that her brain battery is finished LOL. Early 30's is a bit young, but it has been known. Seriously though, a course of Chinese herbs has helped her Men symptoms very much and she has stopped worrying about the possibility of altimeters as she did before. Good luck and let's hope it's nothing serious. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rideswings Posted April 19, 2014 Author Share Posted April 19, 2014 My wife often forgets what I just told her. I remind her, and she says "oh, yeah." She often relates that her family says she has the "brain of a goldfish," which is a Thai saying, as I understand it, that someone's memory is poor. We just watched a program on TV, though, that related that goldfish actually have memories of up to three months, so now, she trumpets that as a victory of sorts. Thats pretty funny how some of these old sayings are actually proven wrong with time and science. Do the Thais quote someone having a good memory as having that of an elephant? We use that one in the USA. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dannyboy6 Posted April 19, 2014 Share Posted April 19, 2014 Get rid of your Aluminum cookware ...Alzheimer Candidate 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rorri Posted April 19, 2014 Share Posted April 19, 2014 abhaya, on 19 Apr 2014 - 09:12, said:Probably a language poblem or she doesn't listen. I tend to agree, what I think is happening is because of their limited grasp of English, what to them is a completely different question, to us it is the same question often asked in a slightly different way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Rorri Posted April 19, 2014 Popular Post Share Posted April 19, 2014 (edited) bonobo, on 19 Apr 2014 - 11:19, said:bonobo, on 19 Apr 2014 - 11:19, said: My wife often forgets what I just told her. I remind her, and she says "oh, yeah." She often relates that her family says she has the "brain of a goldfish," which is a Thai saying, as I understand it, that someone's memory is poor. We just watched a program on TV, though, that related that goldfish actually have memories of up to three months, so now, she trumpets that as a victory of sorts. My belief is that many, note mods I said many NOT all, Thais believe farang know nothing, Thais know all, so she is not forgetting, just not believing. Case to point, my good wife want to hard boil an egg, she was going to do it in the microwave oven, I told her you can not do it, so she boiled in a saucepan, but the very next day ... well a picture saves a 1000 words Ever noticed many can not admit a farang is right. Edited April 19, 2014 by Rorri 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stan7444 Posted April 19, 2014 Share Posted April 19, 2014 To be fair, Thai girls want to please their partner, so they often pretend to understand everything they say, even though they may be lacking in English ability or in general education. In which case, the same subject can come up later on and to them it is a new one, which can be a bit annoying to her partner. Alternatively, as is often the case, they just do not listen at all because they have no interest in the conversation. Recently, when my girlfriend and I were having a small argument, I gave in jokingly saying that I wanted to avoid World War 3. Somewhat unusually, she was actually listening at the time but had no idea what I was talking about as she had never heard of the previous two. In that case, it was simply lack of education and not a language problem. I met my newest gf a few months ago who seemed to speak very good English having worked in another country for several years. We sat down together to share some of our background to get to know each other much better and after I spilled out my entire life's experiences, I asked her if she had questions and then found out she had not understood much (if anything) I had been telling her for 30 minutes. Speaking slowly helps in many cases. In other cases, especially if she is not well educated, they just do not care (as in the example of WW3 above) cannot relate to the subject at all. I recall about 2 years ago in the North there was a school function in which the kids and teachers thought it cool to dress up in Nazi uniforms with the Swastika symbols on flags, etc. They were unaware of WW2 and what the Nazis had done to people so it was a matter of ignorance on their part since obviously other than Thai history, this is not what they study in Thai educational system. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lucifer666 Posted April 19, 2014 Share Posted April 19, 2014 My missus does this all the time. No matter what she asks or what answer i give, within 2 minutes, she will ask me the same question. Sometimes just to test to she if she was actually listening to my answers, i will give her 3 different ones. When she queries this i ask her why she asked the same question again and again. Her answer is " I didn't understand your first answer" 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tywais Posted April 19, 2014 Share Posted April 19, 2014 I have a similar issue with my wife but I refer to it as 'selective memory'. Too many times I ask her to do something and then again and she says she forgot. But someone gives her a phone number and it is locked in her memory permanently. For quite a while I had to ask her my phone number when I had to give it to someone and there it is, she remembered it from the one time I told it to her. She's great with numbers, it's the small daily things that sometimes she forgets. Have to admit I've thought about telling her she needs to see a doctor to have her head examined but I know she won't forget that. Sheryl's points are excellent, as always. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BudRight Posted April 19, 2014 Share Posted April 19, 2014 Get rid of your Aluminum cookware ...Alzheimer Candidate Aluminum is one of the most common elements in the Earth's crust. A physiological vulnerability to it would be evolutionarily disadvantageous. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shrimpythailand Posted April 19, 2014 Share Posted April 19, 2014 I have the opposite problem - my thai wife will ask me something - and I say "you never told me that" - or I will ask her about something and the answer will be " well I told you about that " when I am certain I never heard it mentioned...so now she thinks I don"t listen to anything she says and I forget anything she says even if she never told me... does this make sense? and I would say I have a pretty good memory IF someone tells me something... but I do not have ESP 5 5 5 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goat Roper Posted April 19, 2014 Share Posted April 19, 2014 A normal thing. Don't worry, just keep on a keeping on and you'll be okay. Nothing new about this. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mobi Posted April 19, 2014 Share Posted April 19, 2014 To be fair, Thai girls want to please their partner, so they often pretend to understand everything they say, even though they may be lacking in English ability or in general education. In which case, the same subject can come up later on and to them it is a new one, which can be a bit annoying to her partner. Alternatively, as is often the case, they just do not listen at all because they have no interest in the conversation. Recently, when my girlfriend and I were having a small argument, I gave in jokingly saying that I wanted to avoid World War 3. Somewhat unusually, she was actually listening at the time but had no idea what I was talking about as she had never heard of the previous two. In that case, it was simply lack of education and not a language problem. I agree. I don't know how many times I have watched as a farang gabbles away to his girlfriend in English and she sits there smiling and nodding, yet it is clear to most that she doesn't understand a word he has said. Sometimes, you can listen to the complex words and grammar that the farang is using and you know there is no way she understands even 10% of what he has said. But it is in the nature of most Thai girls to humour their partner. On occasion I have been in a friend's house and he says something to his Thai gf/wife which she clearly doesn't understand, and I have been co-opted to translate - always by the woman. It makes me wonder how they manage when there is no one around to translate. I guess she just smiles and nods. I'm not saying this is happening in the OP's case and he should observe the situation very carefully to establish whether it is her lack of linguistic skills or something more serious. Good luck 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DLP Posted April 19, 2014 Share Posted April 19, 2014 I cannot remember the last time my wife could not remember something that i could not remember. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ulic Posted April 19, 2014 Share Posted April 19, 2014 (edited) A friend of mines brother was like that. He was a little socially awkward. I think he would be thinking of the next question to ask you to keep a conversation going and would not listen to your response from the first question which covered all his next questions. A nice guy but his awkwardness and this conversation style drove me nuts. But in this case she probably does not understand what was said to her. Edited April 19, 2014 by Ulic 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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