Short Term Monk for step son -party costs etc?

[shaggy1969]

I think what many of you good folk are forgetting is the ritual of the Son in the family going to the monastery is probably one of the most

important days in the Mothers and her families lives,it may seem farcical to some people but not for the Thais,for them it is very important.

At the end of the day it is about Face.......but would You want Your loved one to lose their Face,give a good party and make it a day where

Your Son's Mother can hold her head up high and be proud.

100,000 baht is a lot of money for a party but hopefully some of that will be returned from the guests envelopes.What ever the OP and his

family decide to do I wish them all a great day.

[AYJAYDEE]

I think what many of you good folk are forgetting is the ritual of the Son in the family going to the monastery is probably one of the most

important days in the Mothers and her families lives,it may seem farcical to some people but not for the Thais,for them it is very important.

At the end of the day it is about Face.......but would You want Your loved one to lose their Face,give a good party and make it a day where

Your Son's Mother can hold her head up high and be proud.

100,000 baht is a lot of money for a party but hopefully some of that will be returned from the guests envelopes.What ever the OP and his

family decide to do I wish them all a great day.

it is more than simple face. everyone involved truly believes that the merit earned and dedicated to the parents will actually aid in their circumstances of rebirth.

[BookMan]

I think what many of you good folk are forgetting is the ritual of the Son in the family going to the monastery is probably one of the most

important days in the Mothers and her families lives,it may seem farcical to some people but not for the Thais,for them it is very important.

At the end of the day it is about Face.......but would You want Your loved one to lose their Face,give a good party and make it a day where

Your Son's Mother can hold her head up high and be proud.

it is more than simple face. everyone involved truly believes that the merit earned and dedicated to the parents will actually aid in their circumstances of rebirth.

These 2 posts nail some crucial factors; The importance to family ,the face issue, merit earned.

I did not realise exactly what a huge event it is for the family until I attended an event for the brother of my GF.

What some posters are failing to acknowledge, is that there is not one size fits all. The style of celebration, duration, lavishness, is going to be different across areas of Thailand. It could depend on social standing, finances, size of family, location, belief in the process, ecetera.

With the type of celebration being different the cost is also going to differ based on event size, number of guests, duration of party.

[Isaanfreak]

I think what many of you good folk are forgetting is the ritual of the Son in the family going to the monastery is probably one of the most

important days in the Mothers and her families lives,it may seem farcical to some people but not for the Thais,for them it is very important.

At the end of the day it is about Face.......but would You want Your loved one to lose their Face,give a good party and make it a day where

Your Son's Mother can hold her head up high and be proud.

it is more than simple face. everyone involved truly believes that the merit earned and dedicated to the parents will actually aid in their circumstances of rebirth.

These 2 posts nail some crucial factors; The importance to family ,the face issue, merit earned.

I did not realise exactly what a huge event it is for the family until I attended an event for the brother of my GF.

What some posters are failing to acknowledge, is that there is not one size fits all. The style of celebration, duration, lavishness, is going to be different across areas of Thailand. It could depend on social standing, finances, size of family, location, belief in the process, ecetera.

With the type of celebration being different the cost is also going to differ based on event size, number of guests, duration of party.

Sir, you nailed it.

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[David48]

^^ Agreed ... wrapped it all nicely together.

[CWMcMurray]

Pretty standard that every male child will the monk thing... Usually always around 20 years old...

Will usually spend anywhere from 1 wk to 3 months

It is an important event in the life of a male... So difficult to set an amount, people spend what they can afford

Like sweet sixteen or quince anos or barmitzva or similar...

Best advise I can give, set a budget that you are ok with and discuss with the wife accordingly

Then let her decide on the details

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[Bluetongue]

I've been to stacks of these and no 2 have been precisely the same, although many have been very similar. There are 2 high cost items you can leave out, one is the big band, dancing girls, stage and singer, no way is that coming in at 12k as someone suggested, more like 30+. The second is professional catering, they will charge 1 to 1.5k baht per table of 8. Leave those two items off the agenda and you are well under 50k. You do need music, robes, food and drinks doesn't have to be alcohol but most do. Usually day one is the shave head and day 2 is the three laps of the temple first thing in the morning and the coin toss. For the family its about three days with preparations and coming down.

[glcdc]

I had a dream and the party will be somewhat of a grecco - roman orgy you will hire oil boys to oil everyone up women to provide please and wine wine wine wine...the finnest win..But don't worry this is a one time thing; and your boy will remember it forever especially since he has to hide all this desire in the future...one last hoo rah! Its perfect, lamb chops pork chops ribeye steaks rump roast roast duck all the trimmings and cakes. You must build hige cakes and design large pillar layered with ivy. You'll have to ship in many of the fine foods but this isnt a problem because its just one party the neighborhood party of a lifetime...i like the idea..i figured this will cost between 2-3 million depending on how many people what did we decide 500?? Ok 500 it is; youre looking at 3 million baht thats just 1/4 of your yearly salary lets say for instance youre not speculating...

Okay so now that its all settled lets go on posting on other topics and answer everyones questions for them because so many people need help making decision out there..come on lets goets go lets go!!

Yours truly Davie Jones

"the most famous one"

[rickb]

Where I live in Suphanburi, almost every party for a boy entering the monkhood, no matter for how long, is about the same. Typically, tables seating 10 people are set up and a 7-8 course meal is served, plate by plate, family style. This is called a "toe jin." When you order what you want, you talk with the caterer and select what food you want. This is where the price can vary greatly. What is usually selected runs about 1000 - 1200 baht per table for the food. Then you also pay for Pepsi, usually 2 bottles per table, drinking water, usually 2 large bottles per table, and soda water, usually 4 bottles per table, and a large bottle of Hong Tong per table. You can buy the drinks yourself if you want and save some markup by going to a nearby wholesaler and buying by the case.

In addition to the Toe Jin, you will also need to pay for the following:

- Laymen to help guide your step son through all the ceremonies over the 2-day spread. This usually involves a tip of some sort, say 1000 baht

- Music to accompany candidate monk to and from the temple. This cost varies by the size of the bank you select. Typical would be an organist, drummer, and a cymbal player. That shouldn't cost too much. Getting more extravagant includes adding brass players (trumpet, trombone, etc.) to the band for better sound. We even had dancing women, a total of 4, to head up the processing and get the people joining in to get into the mood. We gave each women a bottle of Hong Tong and they were more than happy.

- Offerings to the monks that participate in the ceremonies at home. This "tamboon" is up to you, but I would guess 500 baht for each monk, probably a total of 4. Plus, one extra envelope for the head monk back at the temple.

- At the party on the evening before your stepson becomes a monk, you typically have a live bank and dancing girls as so many other have already advised. Again, the cost of this varies by what you want. Some small parties have a 3 or 4 piece bank and about 6 - 8 dancing girls. It gets more expensive when you have more musicians and more dancing girls. I would guess the cost for an average entertainment would be between 6,000 - 10,000 baht.

- I disagree with those that commented that if you invite 100 people, 1000 will show up. My experience is the opposite. But, here in Suphanburi, you generally invite everyone you know or deal with. So the parties around here are generally on the order of between 50 tables (10 people per table) to 200 tables. And typically, each party invited will present an envelope with as little as 200 baht upward. We had a friend in our neighborhood who had a party at the temple and, after all expenses were paid off, still made a profit of 80,000 baht. Of couse, a party at the temple during the daytime doesn't include music and dancing girls (maybe just one DJ playing CDs) and, of course, no alcohol was served since it was held on the temple grounds.

- There will also be the cost of clothes and things for the monk-to-be, including several robes, towels, monk's bowl, monk's fan, etc. Usually there is a store in the local area that specializes in these things. This cost, even if he is only going to be a monk for 11 days, is about 5,000 baht.

- There will be a cost for lights and loudspeakers. The street leading to the house where the monk-to-be lives will be lighted with poles of colored lights. Sometimes, some fancy light displays that revolve will be set up on the property also. There there is a CD player with large loudspeakers that provide music around the house over the 2-days of celebration. In our area, this music starts around 4:30am to let the neighborhood know that the special 2-days are starting. This cost isn't very much.

Of course, in your area, things may be different than the way they are done here in Suphanburi. But, at least the above should give you a general idea of the overall costs. I don't see a party for 100 people costing anywhere near 100,000 baht. You should also arrange with the family for them to give you back the money they receive from the party attendees' envelopes, so that your overall cost is significantly reduced. If they end up getting more money back than was already expensed, then you might want to let the family keep the profit. Although with only 100 people, I don't expect you'll see any windfall.

Good luck and I think you're doing the right thing to help out.

[BillyBobThai]

We did the same thing a few years back. Wife spent about 80K and I chipped in 10K. Stayed $hit faced for 2 days.

[Gandtee]

Where I live in Suphanburi, almost every party for a boy entering the monkhood, no matter for how long, is about the same. Typically, tables seating 10 people are set up and a 7-8 course meal is served, plate by plate, family style. This is called a "toe jin." When you order what you want, you talk with the caterer and select what food you want. This is where the price can vary greatly. What is usually selected runs about 1000 - 1200 baht per table for the food. Then you also pay for Pepsi, usually 2 bottles per table, drinking water, usually 2 large bottles per table, and soda water, usually 4 bottles per table, and a large bottle of Hong Tong per table. You can buy the drinks yourself if you want and save some markup by going to a nearby wholesaler and buying by the case.

In addition to the Toe Jin, you will also need to pay for the following:

- Laymen to help guide your step son through all the ceremonies over the 2-day spread. This usually involves a tip of some sort, say 1000 baht

- Music to accompany candidate monk to and from the temple. This cost varies by the size of the bank you select. Typical would be an organist, drummer, and a cymbal player. That shouldn't cost too much. Getting more extravagant includes adding brass players (trumpet, trombone, etc.) to the band for better sound. We even had dancing women, a total of 4, to head up the processing and get the people joining in to get into the mood. We gave each women a bottle of Hong Tong and they were more than happy.

- Offerings to the monks that participate in the ceremonies at home. This "tamboon" is up to you, but I would guess 500 baht for each monk, probably a total of 4. Plus, one extra envelope for the head monk back at the temple.

- At the party on the evening before your stepson becomes a monk, you typically have a live bank and dancing girls as so many other have already advised. Again, the cost of this varies by what you want. Some small parties have a 3 or 4 piece bank and about 6 - 8 dancing girls. It gets more expensive when you have more musicians and more dancing girls. I would guess the cost for an average entertainment would be between 6,000 - 10,000 baht.

- I disagree with those that commented that if you invite 100 people, 1000 will show up. My experience is the opposite. But, here in Suphanburi, you generally invite everyone you know or deal with. So the parties around here are generally on the order of between 50 tables (10 people per table) to 200 tables. And typically, each party invited will present an envelope with as little as 200 baht upward. We had a friend in our neighborhood who had a party at the temple and, after all expenses were paid off, still made a profit of 80,000 baht. Of couse, a party at the temple during the daytime doesn't include music and dancing girls (maybe just one DJ playing CDs) and, of course, no alcohol was served since it was held on the temple grounds.

- There will also be the cost of clothes and things for the monk-to-be, including several robes, towels, monk's bowl, monk's fan, etc. Usually there is a store in the local area that specializes in these things. This cost, even if he is only going to be a monk for 11 days, is about 5,000 baht.

- There will be a cost for lights and loudspeakers. The street leading to the house where the monk-to-be lives will be lighted with poles of colored lights. Sometimes, some fancy light displays that revolve will be set up on the property also. There there is a CD player with large loudspeakers that provide music around the house over the 2-days of celebration. In our area, this music starts around 4:30am to let the neighborhood know that the special 2-days are starting. This cost isn't very much.

Of course, in your area, things may be different than the way they are done here in Suphanburi. But, at least the above should give you a general idea of the overall costs. I don't see a party for 100 people costing anywhere near 100,000 baht. You should also arrange with the family for them to give you back the money they receive from the party attendees' envelopes, so that your overall cost is significantly reduced. If they end up getting more money back than was already expensed, then you might want to let the family keep the profit. Although with only 100 people, I don't expect you'll see any windfall.

Good luck and I think you're doing the right thing to help out.

Rather you than me!!!

[bkkgooner]

200 tables with 10 people each? Jesus christ that is <deleted> expensive

[jonnyscot]

Maybe I get invited to the smaller parties up Suphan way,,, biggest one I've attended here had maybe 40 tables of 8 to 10, maybe I'm not getting out enough ( or too canny a scot)

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[Bcgardener]

Ask how much the boys natural father is contributing and offer to match it.

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[ableguy]

Many thanks krisb. My wife is suggesting around THB100k which I think is excess.

Band with dancing girls is approx THB12k.

I recall from our wedding there in 2009, it cost about THB40k for the party, and another THB40k for sin sod.

Many thanks

-Pete

There's a sucker born every minute.