rsokolowski Posted June 28, 2014 Share Posted June 28, 2014 Yes you are wrong to be reluctant to fork out a million baht. If you really loved her 2 of 3 million baht would be more appropriate. I am being very sarcastic, don't do it! Don't buy a house. Don't spend a million (or more) baht. It is my understanding that the wife's family pays for the wedding, and the money that the groom contributes should be enough to cover the wedding party (if held at the brides house in the Issan anyway). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
y2k Posted June 28, 2014 Author Share Posted June 28, 2014 "...that I am supposed to buy according to Thai custom" What are these other things - according to Thai custom? Depending on the girls situation, it will probably be difficult to impossible for her to get a home loan. OP, what's wrong with where the mom and kid live now? "Initially for her mother and son to live in but it would be ours to use at a later date." Glad to see you still have a sense of humor. Father has passed away. Mother and son live with Stepfather but relationship is frayed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
larsjohnsson Posted June 28, 2014 Share Posted June 28, 2014 You just found the love of your life. And straight away she like you to give her a house. Did you give the girls in your home country a house when you meet them ?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
merlen10002 Posted June 28, 2014 Share Posted June 28, 2014 Did not see PokerFace post, OP can not really be that naïve and gullible surely 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David48 Posted June 28, 2014 Share Posted June 28, 2014 Tell her to pay the deposit and get the home loan as her part of the bargain. Then you will make all the monthly payments for the next 25 years as your share. How generous is that offer! (Deposit on 1M, about 100k, repayments on 900k over 25y about 7k/month) AOA often gives this piece of advice and I would say that if you must buy the GF/Wife a house, it is one of the best pieces of advice you can get...and use Only got to the first page ... best advice. Give her the love, cover your ass. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NoshowJones Posted June 28, 2014 Share Posted June 28, 2014 would you buy the love of your life a house in your home country (particularly if it had to be in her name only)? Forget the differences here when answering. Obviously NO!! Anyone who came to me and said "Buy me a house" and was pushing for it would get told where to go before they told me where to go and live afterwards. Thai ladies will lie to your face and show you so much love and attention that it fools many, but deep down some actions rather than the words will have you unsettled at motives and you know it! Ignore what they say and interpret the actions. Lying to your face is a way of Thai life and it is not viewed as badly as we view it. It's just part of normal life and saving face or worse if scamming. My advice, sit down and discuss rationally with safeguard and best buy the condo in your name or come to some arrangement that doesn't allow for her to take the house off you whenever she wants to or at least mitigates the loss were it to happen, as has been suggested. I do not like the "Thai ladies will lie to your face" you are more or less saying all Thai ladies are like that, that is just not true. My house is in my wifes name, she never asked me at any time to buy it which by then was already half built. It was my decision, and I can honestly say I have never regretted it. As far as the OP is concerned, I would give him the same advice as nearly all the posters have given him. Either buy a condo, rent a house at first, or let her pay the deposit and pay the monthly installments. I came to Thailand three times to be with my girlfriend, now wife, before I decided to buy her house. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ronthai Posted June 28, 2014 Share Posted June 28, 2014 Ask her how many houses she has already, you are probably not the first and definately not the last 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Suradit69 Posted June 28, 2014 Share Posted June 28, 2014 Am I wrong to be reluctant to do this even if I love her? I'm not sure which is sadder, your need to seek advice on this from any strangers or your decision to seek that advice on Thai Visa, which puts the "strange" in "strangers." 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BrooklynNY Posted June 28, 2014 Share Posted June 28, 2014 A Thai person sharing a comment. There is NO SUCH THAI CUSTOM. As far I know that many Thai women are good at convincing (so called lying) to their farang b/f to give them what they want and many farang men have fallen for it. They are not even married yet but I could see divorce is part of the package deal. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post AnotherOneAmerican Posted June 28, 2014 Popular Post Share Posted June 28, 2014 On a slightly different subject but may be related to scamming GF's. I have had a relationship with a very nice lady from Bangkok for a while. Actually she is outside BKK living in Nong Chok. She has her own house and car and has a good job as an HR manager for a company called Mahajak. They make AC units for Mitsubishi. I can't visit her very regularly because I work in Abu Dhabi. Anyway a couple of days ago she asked me for money (for the first time) to fund an upgrade to her house. Her story is she is using Oil and she wants to change to Gas because it is much cheaper. According to her she is paying 3000 Baht per month and after the change to gas would only be paying 1000 per month. She says the cost would be around 27,000 Baht. Anyway what I am asking is do the figures make any sense to any of the Knowledgeable guys here. I have trusted this lady for a while now and always spoil her when we are together but after this direct request for cash I am not so sure. Any thoughts? Den If she has a good and secure job i guess she would be eligable for a loan from the bank.....provided she hasnt used all her credit yet. If she can save 2.000 bth a contact month and if she has collateral a loanshark or pawnshop will give her the amount needed. You better stay away from it. NO, What's she using oil for? No central heating needed in Thailand. Oil fired air-con? Never give/lend money! (give and lend are the same word in Thai) 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnotherOneAmerican Posted June 28, 2014 Share Posted June 28, 2014 "...that I am supposed to buy according to Thai custom" What are these other things - according to Thai custom? Depending on the girls situation, it will probably be difficult to impossible for her to get a home loan. OP, what's wrong with where the mom and kid live now? "Initially for her mother and son to live in but it would be ours to use at a later date." Glad to see you still have a sense of humor. Developers are keen to sell houses. They can arrange a home loan with a "friendly bank". Even if you are unemployed and have nothing. Sometimes they will even employ the lady themselves (for 6 months). 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
davidmann Posted June 28, 2014 Share Posted June 28, 2014 seems all men leave there Brain at bangkok airport ,what if you meet nice english lady she asked you to buy her a House ,most would walk away ,and most ladies would not ask ,for sure all thai ladies ask for house /car it never stops ,been on that train ,and true 1 million Bt is nothing ,you can't buy new house for that ,so the love of your life is con artist ,like them all ,maybe cheap holiday to thailand turned into a very expensive trip ,did for me ,lot men lost all there lives savings ,in the end i got out with a little that was left Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony125 Posted June 28, 2014 Share Posted June 28, 2014 I hear what you all say and the logical decision would be to say no. But is it that bad a thing to listen to your heart and do what you think you should do and that you know will make her happy? Am I taking a HUGE risk in doing so? What risks have you taken and have they paid off? Guess you don't like the suggestions your hearing from 98% of the replies. You say is it wrong to listen to your heart and do something to make her happy---and are you taking a huge risk? We have answered the question --yes you are---if you can afford to lose the money then fine do it but don't complain later if it goes south. You can go to ask the lawyer on this forum or find a lawyer that can explain about the safegurds you can put in to protect yourself. If you just buy her a house in her name before marriage it is a gift and she can kick you out anytime, if married first property must be split 50/50 in a divorice. You can not own land but can get seperate deed for a house or usfruct (check with a lawyer and not hers) but this sometimes is hard to enforce because if property is in a remote area you may find it difficult to find a buyer when trying to sell later to recoup your money. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank James Posted June 28, 2014 Share Posted June 28, 2014 I'm liking the 25-year loan idea more now. I doubt if she will like it. You need to protect yourself, and don't get pressured into this. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cbluck58 Posted June 28, 2014 Share Posted June 28, 2014 Run Forrest........Run!!! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
duidui45 Posted June 28, 2014 Share Posted June 28, 2014 ...many rooms have many diffrent keys..and Thai ladys,me think,will never give you the MASTER KEY..neither will i to be honest.Good luck whatever way you thoose to walk. saw that little comment above (Money can buy love) and the sweat returns... From the same cute little thai mouth, expect the words change to suit the purpose, especially the ones that are tailored to force your thinking, and conscience, into a corner. When that happens, your gut feels the only way out of the room, and the argument, is to leave the room (because her heart already has) the same mouth has twists to form pressure from more angles: ..."you no money, you cannot eat love" farang marry for love, but find she marry for what money she can extract, and even better if it can be extracted in the form of a house. the female thai mind sees the only good farang is a rich one, especially the one who flouts it all too quickly, thinking it is earning him brownie points, but instead is simply draining the purse... Oh yes, she has room for you in her heart. But, a thai girls heart has many rooms... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BWPattaya Posted June 28, 2014 Share Posted June 28, 2014 (edited) I see many people in threads like this advising someone to get a lease or a usufruct on properties so that they cannot be thrown out of their homes in the event of a divorce. What I haven't seen is someone asking the question "Do you really want to live there?" Would the OP in this case really want to live in Lampang if he didn't know this girl? Who in their right mind would choose to live in, perhaps, an Isaan village all alone, with an ex-wife nearby who wants her house back. If you can write the money off then give it to her. If it will make you unhappy after you have lost the house then don't give it to her Edited June 28, 2014 by BWPattaya 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Donnie Brasco Posted June 28, 2014 Share Posted June 28, 2014 Ah yes (sigh) The old "Don't take your guns to town, son. Leave your guns at home, Bill. Don't take your guns to town." hit generator gambit. All us shop-worn ol' battle-scarred, travel-romancers'll come stumblin' out into the clearing to shout their warnings to this dewey-eyed young neophyte . . . . . . Only to see him repost his inevitable "PhaseTwo" in about six months. Bet TV real estate can even come up with a suitable estate up there in ol' Lampang (the, ah, Thai province famous for its, um, lovely women. (*burp*) "Sometimes, 'fuggedabowdit' just means fuggedabowdit. . . . " 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robert24 Posted June 28, 2014 Share Posted June 28, 2014 On a slightly different subject but may be related to scamming GF's. I have had a relationship with a very nice lady from Bangkok for a while. Actually she is outside BKK living in Nong Chok. She has her own house and car and has a good job as an HR manager for a company called Mahajak. They make AC units for Mitsubishi. I can't visit her very regularly because I work in Abu Dhabi. Anyway a couple of days ago she asked me for money (for the first time) to fund an upgrade to her house. Her story is she is using Oil and she wants to change to Gas because it is much cheaper. According to her she is paying 3000 Baht per month and after the change to gas would only be paying 1000 per month. She says the cost would be around 27,000 Baht. Anyway what I am asking is do the figures make any sense to any of the Knowledgeable guys here. I have trusted this lady for a while now and always spoil her when we are together but after this direct request for cash I am not so sure. Any thoughts? Den If she has a good and secure job i guess she would be eligable for a loan from the bank.....provided she hasnt used all her credit yet. If she can save 2.000 bth a contact month and if she has collateral a loanshark or pawnshop will give her the amount needed. You better stay away from it. NO, What's she using oil for? No central heating needed in Thailand. Oil fired air-con? Never give/lend money! (give and lend are the same word in Thai) Den, I guess you have confused the house with the car. I assume this lady wants to invest in an LPG convertion of her car since LPG is a lot cheaper than gasohol. 27k sounds about right for this. Now whether you should pay her or not is really up to you. I don't know her, on one hand if she has a house/car and decent job, why does she need to ask you for a small amount of 27k for an LPG convertion? Wouldn't she go to her family first for such a small amount if she doesn't have it? On the other side, it's really a small amount, no harm done if you never get it back. Hope this helps. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
recycler Posted June 28, 2014 Share Posted June 28, 2014 Initially for her mother and son to live in but it would be ours to use at a later date. When the time comes you don't want to live in it after them, let alone with them..... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eloelo Posted June 28, 2014 Share Posted June 28, 2014 What made you believe that she is the love of your life! never marry anyone or think about it until you have known her 2 years! in the 2 years you will discover things about her that will either reinforce your love to her or help you decide whether she is the one for you. after all if you are going to spend your days until the end with her you would be wise to consider her value system her moral code and how she copes with responsibility and so on.if after recently meeting her and the initial passion is still there she is bunging it on you for a house for her mum and son, what is she seeing in you if all she values is your ability to give her money what will happen when god forbid something happens to your ability to give her money!you will be out a house land a wife and anything else you have given her and what would you have got for your troubles, if she has no long term aspirations with you but only after a short term gain, you my friend will be sorry.I have been down this route 3 times all have asked for a house etc quite quickly I waited the 2 years ..yes they got frustrated at me ...so what! then the real side started to show and all ended being kicked to the kerb! if she truly loves you she will stand by you and show her commitment,then by all means knock yourself out with a mortgage..its your life and what is she bringing to the table as the inequality will start to show in the 2 years...good luck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tezzainoz Posted June 28, 2014 Share Posted June 28, 2014 Is it actually possible to buy a house with two names one being non-Thai (me)? It doesn't matter about the house. The house can be in you or your G/F's name. What matters is the Canute (Land Deed) and no it can't be in your name. But you can have a 30 year lease put on the land which makes it less sellable. and improves your chances of having an unknown accident causing death 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jomcondo Posted June 28, 2014 Share Posted June 28, 2014 OP, Just this week I had a long term girlfriend (3 years) ask me the same thing for the very first time. I replied with a firm "No".......guess what?.......she has stopped all communication. Try it yourself. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bander Posted June 28, 2014 Share Posted June 28, 2014 Welcome to the "Girlfriend wants me to buy her a house" club. This is common in Thailand, when the house is finished she want a car, do I need to go on? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dao16 Posted June 28, 2014 Share Posted June 28, 2014 (edited) I'm liking the 25-year loan idea more now. Yes, I have a friend who is doing this now after being burned by his ex-wife. Now, his current girlfriend has taken out a home loan and he pays the 5,000 or whatever it is per month, which is what he would pay in rent anyway. If the relationship goes sour (and it could happen to anyone....don't be blinded by how much you love your lady now) she will have the loan and he can just walk away knowing that he paid the same as renting, which he would have done anyway. If everything works out long-term, all cool--you have a house. Win-win. Just make sure to pay the monthlies yourself so the girlfriend doesn't have the temptation to "borrow" the mortgage payment from time to time. Edited June 28, 2014 by dao16 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FinChin67 Posted June 28, 2014 Share Posted June 28, 2014 I hear what you all say and the logical decision would be to say no. But is it that bad a thing to listen to your heart and do what you think you should do and that you know will make her happy? Am I taking a HUGE risk in doing so? What risks have you taken and have they paid off? Your risk is 1 million bath. Your odds are 100% better at Macau Casino. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
madtrucker Posted June 28, 2014 Share Posted June 28, 2014 I've been with same thai woman sin september2011. When we met I made it clear to her about my source of revenue and that no matter how she runs the numbers in her head. I am not rich and my cdn gov keeps half of my revenu in taxes and my cost of living is much higher than hers. We got married april 2013. And I made it clear to her that I refuse to paye sinsod well before we got married. Since she was'nt a virgin and getting old to make me children. But her mother thinks she is still a virgin well I stuck to my guns and said I will support her to the best of my revenu capability's. I give her 30000baht everymonth and made myself clear to her since her english is very good. If she spends it all in one day too bad so sad but I will not give her more t'il the next month. Lately she is dead set on getting a car. She has botherd about 50 of her friends and relatives to be guaranter for her since she has'nt worked in over 1 year and has no savings in the bank since she manages to spend every cent I give her before months end. So I told her wait for the car. Stop spending so much and I will paye cash for the 460000baht car after I save up for 12months. If she refuses to listen well its her familly and friend left holding the bag if all goes wrong. As for the house thing we got lucky. Her father had 3 houses and gave us the bungalo and a few acres of land for free. So far in 3 years she has gotten 1million baht from me and invested it all in her mothers house etc... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FinChin67 Posted June 28, 2014 Share Posted June 28, 2014 Initially for her mother and son to live in but it would be ours to use at a later date. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Romeland Posted June 28, 2014 Share Posted June 28, 2014 Do yourself a favour ..... Don't do it. I did it many years ago for my now ex Thai wife, and now, whilst I am still working like a prick to try and fund my retirement .... she has this F off house in Issan, which looks like the f'ing White house and is even talking her new farang bf to stay there next week ..... if a tg really, really loves you ... they will ask for nothing like this. I can 99% guarantee you .... it will go sour in the end and she will turn into the Gremlin which looks into bright lights ! Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnotherOneAmerican Posted June 28, 2014 Share Posted June 28, 2014 I've been with same thai woman sin september2011. When we met I made it clear to her about my source of revenue and that no matter how she runs the numbers in her head. I am not rich and my cdn gov keeps half of my revenu in taxes and my cost of living is much higher than hers. We got married april 2013. And I made it clear to her that I refuse to paye sinsod well before we got married. Since she was'nt a virgin and getting old to make me children. But her mother thinks she is still a virgin well I stuck to my guns and said I will support her to the best of my revenu capability's. I give her 30000baht everymonth and made myself clear to her since her english is very good. If she spends it all in one day too bad so sad but I will not give her more t'il the next month. Lately she is dead set on getting a car. She has botherd about 50 of her friends and relatives to be guaranter for her since she has'nt worked in over 1 year and has no savings in the bank since she manages to spend every cent I give her before months end. So I told her wait for the car. Stop spending so much and I will paye cash for the 460000baht car after I save up for 12months. If she refuses to listen well its her familly and friend left holding the bag if all goes wrong. As for the house thing we got lucky. Her father had 3 houses and gave us the bungalo and a few acres of land for free. So far in 3 years she has gotten 1million baht from me and invested it all in her mothers house etc... You give your wife 30Kbht a month! You must have put too many zeros, 3,000bht yes? Paying an old woman 30k/month to be your wife, that just can't be true? Nobody is that stupid. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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