Girlfriend wants me to buy her a house

[12DrinkMore]

Is it actually possible to buy a house with two names one being non-Thai (me)?

It doesn't matter about the house. The house can be in you or your G/F's name. What matters is the Canute (Land Deed) and no it can't be in your name. But you can have a 30 year lease put on the land which makes it less sellable.

When there is a wil, there is a way (around it).

Where there is a willy, there is a potential fool attached to it.

[Grindting]

I hear what you all say and the logical decision would be to say no. But is it that bad a thing to listen to your heart and do what you think you should do and that you know will make her happy?

This is what she is banking on. Thai girls are very good at making you believe they love you. That's when men start doing stupid things they would NEVER do in the west (at home)

Am I taking a HUGE risk in doing so?

What risks have you taken and have they paid off?

Is £22,000 much to you, that is a deposit for a flat / house for a young couple starting out. If it's a drop in the ocean then what does it matter? Offshore oil guys make this money in 3 months of work, to them might be worth a punt. Others it's a huge chunk of change and would really put a dent in the old retirement pot. So risk depends on how much you had and how much you are willing to lose

Mark my words if you are not ready to count this sum as a gamble and write it off as soon as it's put down, then dont do it. Go the mortgage route. If she's still with you in 10 years then all is well. If not and it doesn't work out, you didn't lose much, you can just walk away

So loan the money, or buy a condo in your own name. If you really feel you have to

If my wife told me I had to buy her or her family a house before we could marry, we wouldn't be married and I dare say I wouldn't be with her anymore at all. Plenty more fish in the sea, especially in SE asia.

[realenglish1]

Your handling a hot potato. She says you don't have to pay if you pay the 1 million for the house. Walk away she is manipulation you . She has found the brass ring. Although some Thais want a dowry a lot to day are just skipping it and living a very normal like. Mostly the Poor Thais care about this because is is the only way out of poverty.

Buy a condo and put it in both names then there is No problem. My guess is she is going to say anything to make you sure you pay a large amount at the beginning.

What I would do is tell her you will not buy for 2 years You want to get to know the Thai culture and areas much better . Then see what happens My guess is she will not sympathize with you she will go nuts or give you are real headache If that is the case my friend walk away. I have lived here for almost 20 years and see this all the time

Its culture maybe but its MONEY hard earned cash. DON'T DO IT you'll be sorry.

[glegolo]

I'm liking the 25-year loan idea more now.

Even though some advise is rather good, the main outcome as always the same among these guys here...."NO, be ware, you lose".....

If you consider to buy a house with NOT your name in it, you must consider that it will be a possibility that you will lose that house sooner or later. Are you strong enough to let go and leave it? If you are lucky and you have strike gold with this girlfriend of yours, than no problem.....

But be open minded and try to be smart. But dont be a cheap falang. All these negative comments and advise are so extremely boaring to read in thread after thread.

We are a big group of guys living actually outside these touristtraps with thaiwifes in houses and it works out just fine....

So what I would like to advise you.... GIVE YOUR LIFE A CHANCE.....

Glegolo

[personchester]

Why do you need public advice on this matter, are you not able to make your own decision about the housing matters ...

After wedding you can buy a house in the name of your wife, or rent a house, but if you prefer to live in a condo you can also either buy or rent, but condos can be noisy (left & right, up & down) and therefore not comparable with a private bought house, or a rented house.

My property is in a village with about 150 houses, half of the houses were bought by farangs in the name of their Thai wife's of course, but all the farangs are satisfied and happy to live in their own private houses.

Nevertheless, working class farangs that have not much money are of course not able to buy a house, for their Thai wife, nor a condo for themselves, and all the can do is renting.

As a result of this, pretty Thai girls will then look for another farang.

[realenglish1]

P.S. from my last post to you

You had enough of a doubt that you came to this forum because you do not feel comfortable. Well that should tell you its wrong and you are about to get take a fall Listen to your inner voice

I had dated a girl and she was emphatic about Thai Thai tradition about sin sod and the gold So I told here I could not afford it Then we are not together today So this give you a glance at it . If she really loves you she will not care about Sin Sod or anything other than you being a good mate and husband and good to her parents Thats it and on top of this many guys who put up a sin sod get it back after the ceremony as it was just for looks

Good luck

[12DrinkMore]

Welcome to the "Girlfriend wants me to buy her a house" club.

This is common in Thailand, when the house is finished she want a car, do I need to go on?

The escalation path used to be something like this.

Cash, Smart Phone, Gold, Motorcycle, pick up, Sin Sot, house, divorce.

With a careful evaluation after each step to calculate when it would be the best time to make the next step. I have found that a common technique is to ask just before sex, it is a behavioural reinforcement psychological trick.

"Say yes, darling, and this is going to be mind blowing".

Now it gives me erectile dysfunction.....

She is moving very quickly, only three months and asking for a house?

Ridiculous.

[rotary]

Initially for her mother and son to live in but it would be ours to use at a later date.

You will never get her family out of the house so you can live in it when you want to if she lets you stay around that long.

Big houses are a bad idea......gets family making too many visits as they are comfortable.

Four door pick ups also a bad idea........they draw extra tax every year and family wants to go all the time. Get the open cab so you can carry passengers if you need too but they are not so comfortable.

Take the advice of buying a condo, protects you as it can go in your name. Also if you end up single most condos have a security guard services of some kind and while not good it is better than nothing as you have in most houses.

Little tricks of the trade that help you survive

[Grindting]

Well he was probably paying 1000 per night for the pleasure of her company (+ all expenses and incidentals) so if he considers the 1,000,000 baht house as an advance payment in good faith, as long as the relationship lasts longer than 3 years he will have broken even

[maxisrael]

Tell her to pay the deposit and get the home loan as her part of the bargain.

Then you will make all the monthly payments for the next 25 years as your share.

How generous is that offer!

(Deposit on 1M, about 100k, repayments on 900k over 25y about 7k/month)

I find the idea of a 25-year loan frightening. Are there shorter term mortgages?

I (we) have a 1 mil. baht loan and pay 12.300 baht over a period of 10 year included insurace for the house (Bangkok Bank) total paybak 1.476.000

25 Years 7k / month 2.100.000 Baht !!

[1FinickyOne]

The only way to do this and feel good about it is, if you consider this a gift to your girlfriend… if you can afford to give this and want nothing/expect nothing in return, then it is fine and you cannot be disappointed.

As others here, I actually have met guys [though not friends of mine] who knew a girl for 3 months, bought a "wedding" house and had the GF say goodbye the day after the purchase… To that, I will add that most of my friends have not had any such problems with their Thai wives.

Probably the most important part of the equation, which is probably not wise to divulge here, is what % of your wealth the million baht represents. The other apsects have to do with your GF, her family, how well and long a period of time you know her for…

Lampang has some nice aspects as far as a place to live… good luck to you.

[denby45]

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On a slightly different subject but may be related to scamming GF's. I have had a relationship with a very nice lady from Bangkok for a while. Actually she is outside BKK living in Nong Chok. She has her own house and car and has a good job as an HR manager for a company called Mahajak. They make AC units for Mitsubishi. I can't visit her very regularly because I work in Abu Dhabi. Anyway a couple of days ago she asked me for money (for the first time) to fund an upgrade to her house. Her story is she is using Oil and she wants to change to Gas because it is much cheaper. According to her she is paying 3000 Baht per month and after the change to gas would only be paying 1000 per month. She says the cost would be around 27,000 Baht. Anyway what I am asking is do the figures make any sense to any of the Knowledgeable guys here. I have trusted this lady for a while now and always spoil her when we are together but after this direct request for cash I am not so sure.

Any thoughts?

Den

If she has a good and secure job i guess she would be eligable for a loan from the bank.....provided she hasnt used all her credit yet. If she can save 2.000 bth a contact month and if she has collateral a loanshark or pawnshop will give her the amount needed. You better stay away from it.

NO,
What's she using oil for? No central heating needed in Thailand.
Oil fired air-con?
Never give/lend money!
(give and lend are the same word in Thai)

Den,

I guess you have confused the house with the car. I assume this lady wants to invest in an LPG convertion of her car since LPG is a lot cheaper than gasohol. 27k sounds about right for this. Now whether you should pay her or not is really up to you. I don't know her, on one hand if she has a house/car and decent job, why does she need to ask you for a small amount of 27k for an LPG convertion? Wouldn't she go to her family first for such a small amount if she doesn't have it? On the other side, it's really a small amount, no harm done if you never get it back. Hope this helps.

Yes you are correct. She is looking for a handout for converting her car. I got confused with the oil thing. Anyway I will not be sponsoring her with this one. She can do what I do and save the money from her salary.

Den,

[brucegoniners]

My personal opinion is to get married first and wait a while to see how it works out before you buy a house for her.

I find it a bit suspicious that she is asking you to do this before you get married. Is she marrying you or your money?

How old is she and how old are you if I may ask? How long have you been dating? How long after you met did she ask for the house? Throughout the relationship has she asked you to buy her expensive things? Details please.

And a large dowry is not necessary either. I gave my wife's family 100K. They were thrilled.

I think these guys who give the family a million baht are nuts personally. This isn't about a big payday for the family, it's about the two of you.

And yes, a condo in your name is a better choice if that's what you want.

[namatjira]

In your life if every time you fell in love and your balls turned blue you bought your then love of your life a house where would you be now...............you are a bankers dream.....

[johnbarpic]

^{One Question would you do this in your home country ??????? or would you think I am about to be fleeced, Robbed, Taken for a ride,.... if your struggling with your answer enjoy the ride.....}

[madtrucker]

Rent,food,multiple trips to bkk from ubon to see a obgyn since she had sist on her overies the operation took place in a bkk hospital and all the follow up treatments and special medications needed are not cheap. Plus 4000baht for diesel in her mother pick up truck for many other doctors she needs to see in ubon. Plus her food and occasional trip to the mall.I paye the cellphone bill and sat tv in our house where she lives alone and not with all her familly.electicity and water and paying for our farmhand and weekly visit from the gardner.

If I consider what it would cost me in canada. I am getting off real cheap. And with my line of work in the alberta,canada oilfields I dont need a car or a apartment. I have free room and board and company truck at my disposition. Allso my wife does'nt know my actual salary. And she does'nt have access to my bankbooks every 3 months I take 1 month off work and spend it in thailand. Next I get back here is to see the obgyn with my wife to attempt artificial encemmination "test tube baby" due to her recent surgery on her overies natural ways to make a baby are now impossible.

[sushi5734]

As others have posted already, would you buy a house for a girl you'd just met back home? In her name, with absolutely no ownership rights? So many people have been scammed because they become completely irrational and you'll get no sympathy from Thais or foreigners if you get stung.

Where did you meet this girl? What does she do for a living?

The fact that mother in law and her son (is that the girlfriends son or in fact a brother in law? Or could it even be the girlfriends Thai fella) are going to take up occupancy rings MASSIVE HUGE alarm bells.

Buying a house with a mortgage is a safer way to go but again would you do the same back home? Renting a house is much cheaper and totally safe.

Buy a condo or rent, if she is truly committed to the relationship then she will understand, if she has a hissy fit, then tell her to sling her hook.

Sent from my iPad using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

[soalbundy]

Who was that who said, after his divorce,'" next time i will just find a woman i don't like and give her all my money a house and a car'"

[meatboy]

I have been with my wf.27yrs.25 married,if she wants to go she is always welcome,my advice to you on this would be to get a dog,they are always happy to see you,never mind how late you stop out,their family never visit and if it was to leave you it wouldn't take half your <deleted> stuff.oh and least of all it wouldn't ask for money only love.

T.I.T. taffy in Thailand.

[epicstuff]

wow... most girls happy with a new pair of shoes or some earrings, yours wants a house right off the bat.. That sound ok to you??

still 1 mill isnt a lot of money to some people, maybe a cheap lesson

[shaurene]

Tell her to pay the deposit and get the home loan as her part of the bargain.

Then you will make all the monthly payments for the next 25 years as your share.

How generous is that offer!

(Deposit on 1M, about 100k, repayments on 900k over 25y about 7k/month)

I find the idea of a 25-year loan frightening. Are there shorter term mortgages?

This idea is far more better. If you do it this way it will give you time to see how your relationship goes over say 3-5 yrs, if it is good just go and pay the mortgage off.

[soalbundy]

Buy her a dolls house,see what she say's

[Globeman]

Initially for her mother and son to live in but it would be ours to use at a later date.

No it wouldn't.

[tagranados]

Just found the love of my life. We intend to get married after I've sorted out my side of things (too messy to get into here). She is keen on buying a new house which has a four-month lead time and has asked me to put up the necessary cash. I'm a little wary so suggested she investigate into the possibility of having both our names on the property. She originally agreed and is now asking that I give it to her as a wedding present then I wouldn't have to pay for the other things that I am supposed to buy according to Thai custom. My contribution would be over 1millionTHB. Am I wrong to be reluctant to do this even if I love her?

OP…take yourself back in time one year. Pretend you stumbled upon this post. Wouldn't you read it and go "No way, man. What are you thinking?" Let me rephrase your post as if it were me.

"I just found the best man ever! We're having really awesome sex right now and I love him. I have some crap in my life to take care of so I can't get married now, but I'm thinking it's a good idea to complicate things even further with a person I just found. Even though I've got a lot to deal with, the man of my dreams is asking for money to bring his family to America. Once there, the family will be my responsibility and I'm feeling overwhelmed with this and alarmed. I told him this, so he pushed the idea on me again by rewording his request. This decision feels so wrong that I can't make it myself and I'm posting on a forum with people I don't have close personal relationships with. They don't know my background and cannot take other circumstances into my life in account. And, I think this is all a good thing. Because, I love him already."

I'm not trying to be unkind. I'm hoping you stop what is happening with you. Thai customs do not make this right for you. You, my friend, are not in a position to be purchasing anything if you aren't even in the position to get married the right way.

I'll tell you something. I adore everyone when I'm having sex with them. And, seemingly the same is true for them. And, we all know things change eventually. If you buy a house for her family, be prepared to pay extra for your sex somewhere else. As a woman who works with women of different walks of life, I get the most honest earful of what women really think and it would disappoint you right now, is my fear.

Best of luck.

Edited June 28, 2014 by tagranados

[epicstuff]

Heres another way to look at it ... Even if she is honest and undemanding and has the purest of intentions, you will always be on the back foot every time you have an argument. All she will have to say is If you don't like it you know where the door is . You will know you have to back down everytime or loose a house... High price to pay for winning an argument dont you think?

[Pundi6446]

I'm not really into giving advice, but here it goes. Don't do it bro, like suggested before, buy a condo instead, in your name, if she really loves you, she'll still be with you after doing this, if not then bye bye, there are plenty of other Thai gals to be with.

Enough said -

[watcharacters]

Is it actually possible to buy a house with two names one being non-Thai (me)?

It doesn't matter about the house. The house can be in you or your G/F's name. What matters is the Canute (Land Deed) and no it can't be in your name. But you can have a 30 year lease put on the land which makes it less sellable.

Registering a 30 year lease against a Chanotte doesn't make it any less saleable as long as the lease holder agrees to the sale.

.

What about with a maximum 100 or simply one THB monthly rental guaranteed in the lease for the 30 year term. Who would buy that?

[tagranados]

Here's another thing. True love does happen sometimes. My cousin was in his early 30's and in Thailand while with the US Navy. He met a girl. They wanted to get married. She asked him the same thing. He said sure, I'll buy you a house. In America. Because she loved him and the relationship was for real…she agreed. They have lived in the states for almost 15 years, have 3 gorgeous kids, and she visits her family often.

He didn't try to do it while he had messy things to take care of. though. You posted here to get some answers and it looks like you've got them. NO ONE has said "Hey, that's a great idea. You should do it" so looks like this is settled for ya!

Edited June 28, 2014 by tagranados

[AnotherOneAmerican]

Rent,food,multiple trips to bkk from ubon to see a obgyn since she had sist on her overies the operation took place in a bkk hospital and all the follow up treatments and special medications needed are not cheap. Plus 4000baht for diesel in her mother pick up truck for many other doctors she needs to see in ubon. Plus her food and occasional trip to the mall.I paye the cellphone bill and sat tv in our house where she lives alone and not with all her familly.electicity and water and paying for our farmhand and weekly visit from the gardner.

If I consider what it would cost me in canada. I am getting off real cheap. And with my line of work in the alberta,canada oilfields I dont need a car or a apartment. I have free room and board and company truck at my disposition. Allso my wife does'nt know my actual salary. And she does'nt have access to my bankbooks every 3 months I take 1 month off work and spend it in thailand. Next I get back here is to see the obgyn with my wife to attempt artificial encemmination "test tube baby" due to her recent surgery on her overies natural ways to make a baby are now impossible.

Medical care is free for Thais.

Why would you pay for it?

You don't have free room and board, you just posted you paid her 30k/month.

[12DrinkMore]

Just found the love of my life. We intend to get married after I've sorted out my side of things (too messy to get into here). She is keen on buying a new house which has a four-month lead time and has asked me to put up the necessary cash. I'm a little wary so suggested she investigate into the possibility of having both our names on the property. She originally agreed and is now asking that I give it to her as a wedding present then I wouldn't have to pay for the other things that I am supposed to buy according to Thai custom. My contribution would be over 1millionTHB. Am I wrong to be reluctant to do this even if I love her?

OP…take yourself back in time one year. Pretend you stumbled upon this post. Wouldn't you read it and go "No way, man. What are you thinking?" Let me rephrase your post as if it were me.

"I just found the best man ever! We're having really awesome sex right now and I love him. I have some crap in my life to take care of so I can't get married now, but I'm thinking it's a good idea to complicate things even further with a person I just found. Even though I've got a lot to deal with, the man of my dreams is asking for money to bring his family to America. Once there, the family will be my responsibility and I'm feeling overwhelmed with this and alarmed. I told him this, so he pushed the idea on me again by rewording his request. This decision feels so wrong that I can't make it myself and I'm posting on a forum with people I don't have close personal relationships with. They don't know my background and cannot take other circumstances into my life in account. And, I think this is all a good thing. Because, I love him already."

I'm not trying to be unkind. I'm hoping you stop what is happening with you. Thai customs do not make this right for you. You, my friend, are not in a position to be purchasing anything if you aren't even in the position to get married the right way.

I'll tell you something. I adore everyone when I'm having sex with them. And, seemingly the same is true for them. And, we all know things change eventually. If you buy a house for her family, be prepared to pay extra for your sex somewhere else. As a woman who works with women of different walks of life, I get the most honest earful of what women really think and it would disappoint you right now, is my fear.

Best of luck.

"I adore everyone when I'm having sex with them."

Strange, I always feel the same way. Maybe we select the right partners?

Can't believe a 40 kg Thai girl would experience the same emotion with a 120 kg man on top. But who knows?

"I get the most honest earful of what women really think"

Come on then, spill the beans.

ThaiVisa is 99% men, with almost no exception trying to work out what is going through the head of their wife, girlfriend and gik.

You have the power to educate and enlighten us.

Please????