Why ever marry a Thai?

[flyingsaucersarereal]

I have had this explained to me in the past that if you get married in Thailand you are the lowest ranking in the family hierarchy. If there is a dispute within the family you will always be voted against by your spouse to whatever blood relative deems correct. Is this true? If so why would anyone get married especially if they are the ones feeding, clothing and supporting everyone else? Comments welcome Thanks

[rhythmworx]

I've had many things explained to me too, they just go in one ear and out the other.

If you cant make your own decisions or come to your own conclusions your doomed no matter what decision or conclusion you make in life,

[flyingsaucersarereal]

Well that's overall good advice

[ClutchClark]

As for my in-laws:

Thai family makes the decisions on family matters...which is fine because its their business.

Thai family does not make any decisions concerning my matters...because its not their business.

When wife needs advice about her farm...I am glad she has the wisdom of her family to rely on.

[Carib]

Just tell the one who "explained" it to you, that he or she is an idiot and learn to judge for yourself. Difficult I know, but it is all part of growing up and most of us did succeed.

[bkkjames]

Funny I explained (let it be known) in my house I am the big dog. Since making this clear - the in-laws don't come around much.

Works for both parties I guess.

[rsokolowski]

Not my experience, and I have been married to my wife for over 21 years. If it was true I would not still be married.

[Bender]

why? easy answer:

because 33 millions thai girls are literaly chasing you here, so lets point the pure fact:

first you look like Humphrey Bogart.

then you are stiil so sexy hansum for a 60-something y.o. young retired guy.

they love your intellectual conversation about Freud and Spinoza,

when you open your mouth and talk, its better than when Elvis used to sing "suspicious mind"

and i dont even talk how big is your tool. Just slap it in your hand, and they will fall like fly....

So thats why, most end up marrying a very good thai chinese hiso doctor......just by charity, by duty

and its certainly not because all these farangs are desperate hardcore single w*nker

Edited July 10, 2014 by Bender

[Morakot]

If there is a dispute within the family you will always be voted against by your spouse to whatever blood relative deems correct. Is this true?

No.

[noendtoit]

It is ABSOLUTELY NOT true for me. My family treats me with great respect, they will do anything for me (within reason, of course) and have never asked me for anything. My wife is a teacher and she brings her salary home for our household every month.

Sure there are a lot of horror stories out there, but I would say most of them either have more to the story than you have heard, or the farang came over here and grabbed the first cute bar girl he found -- half his age. I know one guy that "lost everything to a Thai woman," but he was an alcoholic. Nice guy, but drunk all the time. She couldn't deal with it anymore, and why should she? If you only listen to his side of the tale, he got screwed by an avaricious woman, but when you know the whole story, he screwed himself.

If YOU are a decent guy, and can back it up, and you do your due diligence in "shopping" for a wife, you can't do better anywhere. The typical Thai woman is a lot easier to get along with that the typical American woman. For example, there are no "toilet seat wars" and other such utterly ridiculous bullshit that is a daily feature with many American women. Asian women, in general, seem to be a whole lot more pragmatic than Western women, although I can't speak for Europeans.

Unfortunately, the government, with all its visa bullshit, is not particularly friendly to expats. I have had no problem with it, but it should be easier for somebody with a good track record here to get permanent residency and not have to go in for an "extension" every year. The 100,000 non-refundable fee for filing the application is a gamble and not reasonable. If you have been here ten years and shown yourself to be a good member of the community, why should you have to pay a big fee to feel secure in your future here?

[Diplomatico]

Why marry anyone, for that matter? When you marry, you understand you no longer have 'total control' over your life. It becomes a partnership and you inherit a new set of family members. If you don't want that, don't get married.

For every horror story you hear about Thai wives, you can hear equally bad stories about American wives, Australian wives, Mexican wives, etc.

If you mean "why marry a Thai bar girl" then you have other questions to consider.

Edited July 11, 2014 by Diplomatico

[Thakkar]

I'd like to post here but before I could have an opinion, I had to check with Mrs T. She's conferring on the phone with her mom now. They will, at some point, get to the topic of what my opinion should be, perhaps after a conference call with her aunt. So if you guys could just wait a while, I'll be back as soon as possible with a solid opinion.

In the meantime, I'd just like to day that if you think that marriage is a zero sum game, then you're better off being single.

T

[RT85]

i guess it's a case by case basis.. but there are general trends ... like what you mentioned about the family etc..

fortunately in my particular case.. i have managed to balance this out.. making it very clear that once we got married.. the 'sinsod' would be the only "assistance" her family would be getting from me...

and because i'm from a relatively conservative chinese family.... my wife now 'belongs' to MY family.. regardless of the local practices here..

we made that very clear before we got married.. and it has been blissful ever since..

of course there are the occassional buying her family dinners... and helping her brother with school fees (i agreed only after i made him take up a parttime job and pay for part of his own upkeep.)

other than that... it's all good..

[billd766]

I think that the reason that there are more "bad marriage" stories than "good marriage" stories is that the good ones don't whine and whinge and point the fingers at anybody.

We just get on with our lives, families, extended or not, jobs, retirement and enjoy life in Thailand to the full.

Of the 20 or 30 close friends I have who are married, Some live in Thailand, some in their own countries, some are FIFO. Some of the husbands are in their 30s, some 40s, 50s and 60s and some are older than me at 70

I know English, Scottish, Kiwi, Aussie, German Dutch and Swiss among their nationalities. Quite a few are or were engineers, builders one was even an exporter of Thai goods.

Of that lot which is my sample of Thai wifes only 2 marriages have ended in divorce which seems to be a lot lower than in the west (been there, done that myself).

None of us are perfect and willingly admit our mistakes but all of us are happy with our choices.

[billd766]

I think that the reason that there are more "bad marriage" stories than "good marriage" stories is that the good ones don't whine and whinge and point the fingers at anybody.

We just get on with our lives, families, extended or not, jobs, retirement and enjoy life in Thailand to the full.

Of the 20 or 30 close friends I have who are married, Some live in Thailand, some in their own countries, some are FIFO. Some of the husbands are in their 30s, some 40s, 50s and 60s and some are older than me at 70

I know English, Scottish, Kiwi, Aussie, German Dutch and Swiss among their nationalities. Quite a few are or were engineers, builders one was even an exporter of Thai goods.

Of that lot which is my sample of Thai wifes only 2 marriages have ended in divorce which seems to be a lot lower than in the west (been there, done that myself).

None of us are perfect and willingly admit our mistakes but all of us are happy with our choices.

So my answer the OPs question is why ever NOT marry a Thai?

[noendtoit]

I have a great marriage and family. The only downside is that I live here and feel a certain amount of instability from the fact that there is no reasonable way to achieve permanent residency short of being very wealthy. If I could feel completely secure with being allowed to stay in my chosen home for the rest of my life, I would be as happy as a clam at high tide. But instead I have to seek my annual permission to stay another year . . . And while constantly having to report my whereabouts, such as every 90 days or every time I travel more than 48 hours, is not really a big deal in the scheme of things, it an awful lot like reporting to a probation officer.

As long as I am a law abiding and contributing member of society, it sure would be nice to just be able to live my life without all the red tape. I often think of the day I am finally old (well too late for that) and infirm. What happens if I am just not able to handle all the red tape, maybe getting senile or maybe have a stroke and be unable to write or travel. what happens then? I really have no ties with my native country. All my marbles are here. It would be almost impossible to go back . . .

[Diplomatico]

As long as I am a law abiding and contributing member of society, it sure would be nice to just be able to live my life without all the red tape. I often think of the day I am finally old (well too late for that) and infirm. What happens if I am just not able to handle all the red tape, maybe getting senile or maybe have a stroke and be unable to write or travel. what happens then? I really have no ties with my native country. All my marbles are here. It would be almost impossible to go back . . .

Yeah, if you have a stroke then I'd think that the 90 day report would be far down on your list of worries.

[sirineou]

I think that the reason that there are more "bad marriage" stories than "good marriage" stories is that the good ones don't whine and whinge and point the fingers at anybody.

We just get on with our lives, families, extended or not, jobs, retirement and enjoy life in Thailand to the full.

Of the 20 or 30 close friends I have who are married, Some live in Thailand, some in their own countries, some are FIFO. Some of the husbands are in their 30s, some 40s, 50s and 60s and some are older than me at 70

I know English, Scottish, Kiwi, Aussie, German Dutch and Swiss among their nationalities. Quite a few are or were engineers, builders one was even an exporter of Thai goods.

Of that lot which is my sample of Thai wifes only 2 marriages have ended in divorce which seems to be a lot lower than in the west (been there, done that myself).

None of us are perfect and willingly admit our mistakes but all of us are happy with our choices.

So my answer the OPs question is why ever NOT marry a Thai?

Same here, Happily married to a Thai, Best thing that ever happened to me. I know many Farang Thai couples and as far as I can tell , they are all happily married. But how long do you think a thread titled, " I have no problems with my lovely Thai wife" will last ?

[NormanW]

Marriage is a lose lose situation for the guy.

(More often than not he brings in the most money etc).

Note to self : NEVER get married.

[sirineou]

Marriage is a lose lose situation for the guy.

(More often than not he brings in the most money etc).

Note to self : NEVER get married.

If marriage was all about money, then you might be correct.

PS: never in my life have I saved more money than since I married my Thai wife.

[MJP]

Here's something I can't understand. Marriage is a religious ceremony and so many people who aren't religious get married. I don't understand that. Visa perhaps?

[sirineou]

Here's something I can't understand. Marriage is a religious ceremony and so many people who aren't religious get married. I don't understand that. Visa perhaps?

I dont know where people get these ideas. One thinks marriage is about money the other thinks it is a religious ceremony.

If that was correct then I guess Atheists could not get married.

[A1Str8]

Why ever marry would be a more appropriate question.

Besides, according to my standards, i am always on top of any hierarchy so who the....cares, where others place me. At the end of the day, they know that they need to jump and swing up to hit me in the knees. That's about it, when it comes to hierarchy.

[sirineou]

Why ever marry would be a more appropriate question.

Besides, according to my standards, i am always on top of any hierarchy so who the....cares, where others place me. At the end of the day, they know that they need to jump and swing up to hit me in the knees. That's about it, when it comes to hierarchy.

Be careful you don't get a nosebleed up there

[villagefarang]

Why?...In my case it was all about love and companionship.

[sirineou]

Why?...In my case it was all about love and companionship.

BINGO!!

My wife is my best friend.

[MJP]

Here's something I can't understand. Marriage is a religious ceremony and so many people who aren't religious get married. I don't understand that. Visa perhaps?

I dont know where people get these ideas. One thinks marriage is about money the other thinks it is a religious ceremony.

If that was correct then I guess Atheists could not get married.

It's a choice. But what is that choice based on? What makes us do it?

I have no idea to this day why I ever got married because I'm atheist.

.

[Dancealot]

Ahem! I was led to believe the marriage would "easen" the visa-process. Indeed they were right but there was more......

And-eehm I wasn't thinking rationally while usually I think things through and assess all the time.

[MJP]

Ahem! I was led to believe the marriage would "easen" the visa-process. Indeed they were right but there was more......

And-eehm I wasn't thinking rationally while usually I think things through and assess all the time.

. . . ummmm . . . yes, but I know that wasn't my thinking at the time. I wasn't thinking at the time is probably more accurate.

[rgs2001uk]

Here's something I can't understand. Marriage is a religious ceremony and so many people who aren't religious get married. I don't understand that. Visa perhaps?

I dont know where people get these ideas. One thinks marriage is about money the other thinks it is a religious ceremony.

If that was correct then I guess Atheists could not get married.

It's a choice. But what is that choice based on? What makes us do it?

I have no idea to this day why I ever got married because I'm atheist.

.

Like you too I am also an athesist.

I got married for visa issues (not in Thailand), but thats a moot point.

My reason for getting married the next time are, and my mrs already knows this (and agrees) I will divorce the mrs and marry her youngest neice, so she can inherit my comapny pensions for the next 50+ years.

E F F Them , years of Ameikan Greed and screwing the little man have led me to this conclusion.

How many of those greedy Amerikan bankers were ever jailed for flogging their dodgy AAA+ junk bonds.

Never mind Uncle Same continues to screw BP, Haliburton is overlooked, E f f them.