Happy 4th Of July

[sadman]

I, as humble representative of Her Britannic Majesty Queen Elizabeth II, ruler of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland and of the Commonwealth, bid greetings and good wishes to the colony of the Americas, particularly the thirteen states comprising the Commonwealth. We trust that through endeavour and perseverence you might cast off the yoke of ignorance and advance to take your place as one of the more important and influential nations in the world. Like us. Oh yes.

Happy July 4th to you all.

[Scott]

Many Thanks--I think!

[Jeff1]

And a great big Happy Fourth of July to you .

[Neeranam]

Why not post it on a America Expat Forum?

All the yanks I know here are glad to be away from that place.

[sadman]

Many Thanks--I think!

You're welcome - probably!

I celebrate 4th July as my dad was from NH and we always had a blast on 4th - much to the confusion of the South London locals. I shall be having a good drink later myself.

[jdinasia]

Thanks ... that whackjob BritMav will be buying me my first round tonight!

Sadly I don't have a US Flag shirt ... and the underwear would be a bit too much just to wear alone ;-)

[Boon Mee]

Ben Franklin is rolling over in his grave...

[Axel]

230 years

Time is running. OK, have a happy one.

[Sir Burr]

Happy Birthday USA!

[mr_hippo]

A message from John Cleese to the citizens of the USA:

Some inspiration to expand the empire again.

In light of your failure to elect a competent President of the USA and thus

to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your

Independence, effective immediately. Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth

II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and

territories (excepting Kansas, which she does not fancy).

Your new prime minister, Tony Blair, will appoint a governor for America

without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be

disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine whether

any of you noticed.

To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules

are introduced with immediate effect:

You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then look

up aluminium, and check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just

how wrongly you have been pronouncing it.

The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'favour' and 'neighbour'.

Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the

letters, and the suffix -ize will be replaced by the suffix -ise.

Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable

levels (look up vocabulary). Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. There is no such thing as American English.

We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will

be adjusted to take account of the reinstated letter 'u' and the elimination

of -ize.

You will relearn your original national anthem, "God Save The Queen".

July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday.

You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers, or

therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows

that you're not adult enough to be independent. Guns should only be handled

by adults. If you're not adult enough to sort things out without suing

someone or speaking to a therapist, then you're not grown up enough to

handle a gun. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry

anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. A permit will be required

if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.

All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and this is for your own

good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean.

All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start

driving on the left with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go

metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables.

Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense

of humour.

The Former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling

gasoline) - roughly $6/US gallon. Get used to it.

You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are

not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are

properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and

dressed not with catsup but with vinegar.

The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at

all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer,

and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager. American brands will be referred to as Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine, so that all can be sold without risk of further confusion.

Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good guys.

Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play English

characters. Watching Andie MacDowell attempt English dialogue in Four

Weddings and a Funeral was an experience akin to having one's ears removed with a cheese grater.

You will cease playing American football. There is only one kind of proper

football; you call it soccer. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be

allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American football, but

does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full

kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies).

Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an

event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside of

America. Since only 2.1% of you are aware that there is a world beyond your

borders, your error is understandable.

You must tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us mad.

An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty's

Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies

due (backdated to 1776).

Thank you for your co-operation.

[chownah]

Revolting

[Rinrada]

Yes absolutely..Happy 4th July....USA

......maybe one day we will join you and get rid of our bunch of paternal dictators and shovel the lot of "em out of the Mall and into the Tower..... ...one day........

[Narachon]

Happy Fourth of July, my Fellow Americans!

Happy 230 years of Independence !

( I'm quite sure this holiday is not too popular in Britain! )

[Boon Mee]

Revolting

Yes...quite.

I skimmed the piece and can't recall seeing any reference to NASCAR?

We gotta keep NASCAR?

[thaibebop]

Why not post it on a America Expat Forum?

All the yanks I know here are glad to be away from that place.

It's not the place, it's the ideals.

Long Live The Republic, may it preserve liberty until it's fall.

[Narachon]

Revolting

Yes...quite.

I skimmed the piece and can't recall seeing any reference to NASCAR?

We gotta keep NASCAR?

As a New Yorker, I hate to say it, but yeah, we gotta keep NASCAR -

It's as American as Apple Pie and Baseball!

( What are we going to replace it with? Formula - 1 racing? )

HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY!!

[kat]

A message from John Cleese to the citizens of the USA:

Some inspiration to expand the empire again.

In light of your failure to elect a competent President of the USA and thus

to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your

Independence, effective immediately. Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth

II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and

territories (excepting Kansas, which she does not fancy). ...

Thank you for your co-operation.

hilarious!

Yes absolutely..Happy 4th July....USA

......maybe one day we will join you and get rid of our bunch of paternal dictators and shovel the lot of "em out of the Mall and into the Tower..... ...one day........

Well, we already did that with the British But it's always good to join forces with our cousins anytime.

Why not post it on a America Expat Forum?

All the yanks I know here are glad to be away from that place.

It's not the place, it's the ideals.

Long Live The Republic, may it preserve liberty until it's fall.

And I would say the ideals are great, it's the politicians that are less than ideal.

Happy 4th.

Edited July 4, 2006 by kat

[thaibebop]

It's not the place, it's the ideals.

Long Live The Republic, may it preserve liberty until it's fall.

And I would say the ideals are great, it's the politicians that are less than ideal.

Happy 4th.

Right, they are not the Ideal, they are to serve the Ideal by serving the people, something I think they need to be reminded of, they are public servents.

[kayo]

A message from John Cleese to the citizens of the USA:

reign Majesty Queen Elizabeth

II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and

territories (excepting Kansas, which she does not fancy). :D

l 'doughnut'

This comes back every year and it never fails to bring a smile...

to the present commonwealth citizens:

Happy good riddance day!

[Thaiquila]

Thanks for that picture of the Washington Monument with the fireworks!

It really brought back some great memories. I was there on July 4, 1976 for the bicentennial celebration. Best ###### fireworks show ever, and never felt so patriotic. Something about the shape of that statue ... ???

Edited July 4, 2006 by Thaiquila

[Thaiquila]

Hey, wait a second ...

Isn't APPLE PIE a FRENCH thing?

(And hot dogs German.)

[Narachon]

A message from John Cleese to the citizens of the USA:

reign Majesty Queen Elizabeth

II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and

territories (excepting Kansas, which she does not fancy). :D

l 'doughnut'

This comes back every year and it never fails to bring a smile...

to the present commonwealth citizens:

"commonweath citizens"?

Like Canadians and Australians?

I guess If we didn't fight for our independence, we would have ended up still tied to England like they are...

Happy good riddance day!

Do you mean the British, or to the once former American Colonies?

Thanks for that picture of the Washington Monument with the fireworks!

It really brought back some great memories. I was there on July 4, 1976 for the bicentennial celebration. Best ###### fireworks show ever, and never felt so patriotic. Something about the shape of that statue ... ???

You're welcome!

Wasn't able to make it to the Bicentennial fireworks in Washington ( I was 7 at the time.. ) but I do remember the Macy's Fireworks here off the East river here in the City.

Here are some more pics of the Washington Monument during the Fourth of July Fireworks :

And who can forget Miss Liberty:

[mittheimp]

Why not post it on a America Expat Forum?

All the yanks I know here are glad to be away from that place.

It's not the place, it's the ideals.

Long Live The Republic, may it preserve liberty until it's fall.

Yep those liberties and ideals it spread in Vietnam, Cambodia, Indonesia, Guatamala, Panama, El, Salvador, DR Congo, Angola, Grenada , Iran, Iraq, Chile, Laos, etc.etc

Have I managed to close this thread yet?

[Narachon]

I just knew it was only a matter of time before the America Bashers would put in their two cents here....

[thaiknot]

just came back from philadelphia and saw independence hall and the liberty bell.

the liberty bell is cracked which is how i feel about this former colony.

so it's time to bid adieu and spend the rest of my lifetime on a tropical beach far from the dysfunctional madhouse called the usa.

the last stages of every empire in history is upon america now.no more bread and circuses or big macs and reality tv for american society will herald one big la riots and new orleans mad max land.

just another third world banana republic in the americas if it survives the burning cities and looting rioting mobs.

rip!

[Thaiquila]

Aw shucks, the USA will be OK. Really it will. Spanish is a lovely language! Resistance is futile.

Edited July 4, 2006 by Thaiquila

[Rinrada]

...GO Laddies Go.....

[usatrader]

[kayo]

Yep those liberties and ideals it spread in Vietnam, Cambodia, Indonesia, Guatamala, Panama, El, Salvador, DR Congo, Angola, Grenada , Iran, Iraq, Chile, Laos, etc.etc

Have I managed to close this thread yet?

thank you !

Aw shucks, the USA will be OK. Really it will. Spanish is a lovely language! Resistance is futile.

...GO Laddies Go.....

Nah, mate.,.. the controller in Houston don´t understand that...

here´s the corrected version:

Vamos, muchacho´s, Vamos!!!!

[khall64au]

Happy "dependence" day! ... was quite a trip checking out the "celebration" in Patong, Thailand.