How Is The Best Way To Manage A Marriage In Bkk?

[grapetable]

I would really appreciate some advice on what is the best way to manage a marriage in BKK, Im marrying a Thai by the way. Im thinking of getting an agency to do all the needed documents and running around associated with the autherisation and certfication with embasseies etc etc . Also is it better to get an agent to organise the ceremonies as well? How much can these cost for say 100 people? If we add all the costs together for gifts, cash, etc what are we looking at approximately. Its so hard to get a handle on this from afar............Its happening in October!

Any help appreciated

ta

[rcm]

I would really appreciate some advice on what is the best way to manage a marriage in BKK, Im marrying a Thai by the way. Im thinking of getting an agency to do all the needed documents and running around associated with the autherisation and certfication with embasseies etc etc . Also is it better to get an agent to organise the ceremonies as well? How much can these cost for say 100 people? If we add all the costs together for gifts, cash, etc what are we looking at approximately. Its so hard to get a handle on this from afar............Its happening in October!

Any help appreciated

ta

Hi there ,

The Papers you'll need is an affirmation of freedom to marry from your Embassy translated(normally you will find translation offices near the Embassies) with this you go to the Legalization Division, Ministry of Foreign Affairs, 123 Changwattana Rd, Thungsonghong, Laksi, Bangkok 10210, Tel: (00-66) 02 575-1057-8 for legalization.

This is and your Passport is what you need for getting married. As for your Wife she will need The Passport/ ID and the Tabien Baan ....i hope i didn't forget anything but it is fairly easy to do it yourself. No need an agency for doing that. It all can be done in about 3 days .

As for the Ceremony . Do you plan the Traditional Thai Wedding with morning and evening Ceremony or else?

Do you include a Presentation for your Wedding , Video and photographer?

Please give more information what the plan is ... that way it is better to give you accurate figures.

rcm

[Soju]

So how much did you negoitiate the dowry down to? In a post late last year, you said,

Hi all,

Dowries.........

Need some input of opinions of the above; to cut a longer story short........Im seeing this Thai lady and she talks about paying a dowry to her family if we get married. I must say Im not too keen on this 'idea' and wonder what the 'old hands' have to say about it. The amounts discussed are substantial, Bt1,000,000. The whole idea of paying is an anathema to me, but I suppose one way or another 'we' (I will) end up paying anyway.

What I would like to know is: is this a common theme in Thailand or between Thai's? What is the common amount and how does the 'calculation' take place?

Any help would be appreciated!

Thanks

Grapetable

Not trying to be nosey, just curious about the dowry.

[Thai-Aust]

Check out this website, it will give you planty of idea what Thai marriage is all about.

http://www.thaifolk.com/doc/wedding_e.htm

No offense, just one warning though, if your wife-to-be is ex bargirl, or from low socio-economic (or even middle-class) background, that kind of dowry is quite suspicious.

Good luck.

Edited July 5, 2006 by Thai-Aust

[grapetable]

I would really appreciate some advice on what is the best way to manage a marriage in BKK, Im marrying a Thai by the way. Im thinking of getting an agency to do all the needed documents and running around associated with the autherisation and certfication with embasseies etc etc . Also is it better to get an agent to organise the ceremonies as well? How much can these cost for say 100 people? If we add all the costs together for gifts, cash, etc what are we looking at approximately. Its so hard to get a handle on this from afar............Its happening in October!

Any help appreciated

ta

Hi there ,

The Papers you'll need is an affirmation of freedom to marry from your Embassy translated(normally you will find translation offices near the Embassies) with this you go to the Legalization Division, Ministry of Foreign Affairs, 123 Changwattana Rd, Thungsonghong, Laksi, Bangkok 10210, Tel: (00-66) 02 575-1057-8 for legalization.

This is and your Passport is what you need for getting married. As for your Wife she will need The Passport/ ID and the Tabien Baan ....i hope i didn't forget anything but it is fairly easy to do it yourself. No need an agency for doing that. It all can be done in about 3 days .

As for the Ceremony . Do you plan the Traditional Thai Wedding with morning and evening Ceremony or else?

Do you include a Presentation for your Wedding , Video and photographer?

Please give more information what the plan is ... that way it is better to give you accurate figures.

rcm

[grapetable]

I would really appreciate some advice on what is the best way to manage a marriage in BKK, Im marrying a Thai by the way. Im thinking of getting an agency to do all the needed documents and running around associated with the autherisation and certfication with embasseies etc etc . Also is it better to get an agent to organise the ceremonies as well? How much can these cost for say 100 people? If we add all the costs together for gifts, cash, etc what are we looking at approximately. Its so hard to get a handle on this from afar............Its happening in October!

Any help appreciated

ta

Hi there ,

The Papers you'll need is an affirmation of freedom to marry from your Embassy translated(normally you will find translation offices near the Embassies) with this you go to the Legalization Division, Ministry of Foreign Affairs, 123 Changwattana Rd, Thungsonghong, Laksi, Bangkok 10210, Tel: (00-66) 02 575-1057-8 for legalization.

This is and your Passport is what you need for getting married. As for your Wife she will need The Passport/ ID and the Tabien Baan ....i hope i didn't forget anything but it is fairly easy to do it yourself. No need an agency for doing that. It all can be done in about 3 days .

As for the Ceremony . Do you plan the Traditional Thai Wedding with morning and evening Ceremony or else?

Do you include a Presentation for your Wedding , Video and photographer?

Please give more information what the plan is ... that way it is better to give you accurate figures.

rcm

[grapetable]

Hi rcm,

Thanks for the advice.

Thai wedding and whilst the plans are at early stage I suppose a photogragher et al will be part of the deal. So the whole 'box and dice' i guess for cost.

thanks

G

[grapetable]

So how much did you negoitiate the dowry down to? In a post late last year, you said,

Hi all,

Dowries.........

Need some input of opinions of the above; to cut a longer story short........Im seeing this Thai lady and she talks about paying a dowry to her family if we get married. I must say Im not too keen on this 'idea' and wonder what the 'old hands' have to say about it. The amounts discussed are substantial, Bt1,000,000. The whole idea of paying is an anathema to me, but I suppose one way or another 'we' (I will) end up paying anyway.

What I would like to know is: is this a common theme in Thailand or between Thai's? What is the common amount and how does the 'calculation' take place?

Any help would be appreciated!

Thanks

Grapetable

Not trying to be nosey, just curious about the dowry.

[grapetable]

Hi Thai-Aust,

No not bar-girl (I hope anyway) dowry down to 20K which I think is reasonable. Middle-class? Might just scratch in........whats middle-class in Thailand? But I do not care for the class. She is from Phetchabun if that is any interest to you. I think she is genuine.

A fool and his money is soon parted? We shall see...........

Thanks for the advice.

G

[grapetable]

Hi Soju,

I think I have answered your question already. It is a curious subject, there are many risks with love, financial, emotional, physical, mental......spiritual? Dowries are just one of them.

By the way, there is a lot of advice on this forum saying to tell the new rels that the falung is not an ATM machine. How does one actually approach that subject without treading on the respective toes?

thanks

G

[Soju]

Hi Thai-Aust,

No not bar-girl (I hope anyway) dowry down to 20K which I think is reasonable. Middle-class? Might just scratch in........whats middle-class in Thailand? But I do not care for the class. She is from Phetchabun if that is any interest to you. I think she is genuine.

A fool and his money is soon parted? We shall see...........

Thanks for the advice.

G

That's 20K Baht? You negotiated the dowry from 1,000,000 down to 20,000? Wow, you're quite a negotiator! I hope you put those skills to work in your real life job.

[warriors]

I wish you good luck and have a happy Wedding day. Are you taking her back to Fharlang land? That will be more costs. More and more But look on the bright side 1,000,000 down to 20 ks thats a lot left to spend on the real things in life

[Soju]

Hi Soju,

I think I have answered your question already. It is a curious subject, there are many risks with love, financial, emotional, physical, mental......spiritual? Dowries are just one of them.

By the way, there is a lot of advice on this forum saying to tell the new rels that the falung is not an ATM machine. How does one actually approach that subject without treading on the respective toes?

thanks

G

I had a long talk with my in-laws to be before I got married, and had a professional translator present to be sure we understood each other perfectly. I made it very clear that while I have a good job, I also have considerable expenses, need to have money for my own or my family emergencies, for my retirement, etc. I agreed to a larger initial dowry, but they understood that that money was not to be wasted on buying frivolous items, but to be used to expand their existing business in order to make a larger monthly income and that I wouldn't be giving them any sort of monthly or regular allowance. I do pay for my wife's educational and other expenses, plus I volunteered to pay for her sister's college expenses. So far there have been no requests for money from her family. From hearing all the stories, I guess I got lucky and got a good one with a good family. It's very important to know the family first before negotiating the dowry so you can have some confidence about what the future holds.

[rcm]

Hi Soju,

I think I have answered your question already. It is a curious subject, there are many risks with love, financial, emotional, physical, mental......spiritual? Dowries are just one of them.

By the way, there is a lot of advice on this forum saying to tell the new rels that the falung is not an ATM machine. How does one actually approach that subject without treading on the respective toes?

thanks

G

I had a long talk with my in-laws to be before I got married, and had a professional translator present to be sure we understood each other perfectly. I made it very clear that while I have a good job, I also have considerable expenses, need to have money for my own or my family emergencies, for my retirement, etc. I agreed to a larger initial dowry, but they understood that that money was not to be wasted on buying frivolous items, but to be used to expand their existing business in order to make a larger monthly income and that I wouldn't be giving them any sort of monthly or regular allowance. I do pay for my wife's educational and other expenses, plus I volunteered to pay for her sister's college expenses. So far there have been no requests for money from her family. From hearing all the stories, I guess I got lucky and got a good one with a good family. It's very important to know the family first before negotiating the dowry so you can have some confidence about what the future holds.

Very true, get to know the Family......and than discuss dowry.

For your wedding as we don't have any more particulars from you ....i want to know will you do any Wedding Photos in the Photo Studio? (one of these Pics will be on a big Frame and shown at the entrance where the Wedding dinner is) , will you have some DVD Presentation about the Bride & Groom? You obviously will need Invitations . How about the "Thank you " Cards? Will you be giving any Wedding Souveniers?

Do you hire somebody to make a Video during the Wedding ? and Photos too?

Where will the Wedding take Place ? Morning Ceremony at Wife's Parents House? Wedding Dinner at Hotel ? Restaurant ? Tent at Home? Wedding Cake & Champagne ?

As you can see already there are many choices and the Prices can be very low or very high too...depending on your choice.

The more info you can give the better it is to estimate.

brgds,

rcm

[Rinrada]

We all met up in "the Stag"for a couple of pints then over to the Registery office...nice ceremony...couple of pics then back to the house for a few more wet one and some Thai food.

Had a great day and everyone enjoyed it...

No dowry,Sin soc it (Sin is right) grasping relatives and Wife even got her own visa and airfare over "ere....did say that I had a spare room

5 years on ...............still having a good time......

as one of our members suggests....(dont)...tink too Mutt ...good luck...

[leftcross]

wedding cost me 30,000 baht but got 20,000 baht back from relatives.

also, my wife's auntie elected to pay for the caterers as a present

a cousin did the photos (he was a photography student), we had the party under two big tents and the beer and whiskey flowed.

rent of the costumes was 2,000 baht for both of us, white suit for me and gold dress for the mrs.

the formalities of the wedding are pretty much as described and are easily done by yourself.

[grapetable]

Thanks for all the advice.

The reception will be in some hotel in BKK with photographer and others......the count aint finished yet. Just wanted some idea of the cost. I will have a talk with the rels and make it clear I am not a bottomless gold mine and philanthrapist...........well I will try!

I will let you all know how it goes; I will probably need further good advice!

Chok dee!

[rcm]

Thanks for all the advice.

The reception will be in some hotel in BKK with photographer and others......the count aint finished yet. Just wanted some idea of the cost. I will have a talk with the rels and make it clear I am not a bottomless gold mine and philanthrapist...........well I will try!

I will let you all know how it goes; I will probably need further good advice!

Chok dee!

hi again,

Maybe this website comes in handy for you.....Weddingsquare

brgds,

rcm

[verzenden]

I'm confused about the dowry. I looked up the definition and all definitions say: Money or property brought by a woman to her husband at marriage. So when I marry my Thai GF I get money??? She always says I have to pay her family. I quess the last one?

It's me,

Kevin

[rcm]

I'm confused about the dowry. I looked up the definition and all definitions say: Money or property brought by a woman to her husband at marriage. So when I marry my Thai GF I get money??? She always says I have to pay her family. I quess the last one?

It's me,

Kevin

That would be fun....if the Bride's Parents Give the Dowry to the groom.

rcm

[OZONE]

typically dowry are given back to the bride and groom after the wedding. Its a mere formality for many family in issan. I wouldn't worry so much about the dowry and the ATM concept. Give it some time before saying anything at all to her parents, and also, make sure you speak to your wife wife first before saying anything. Most Thai people are family first and so make sure they take good care of their family. Its something most western world has a difficult time understanding and accepting. Once you some to understand & accept this fact, you'll be much more happy and not worry so much about the ATM aspect. Not saying you should give everything you earned away ofcourse.

[Boon Mee]

I'm confused about the dowry. I looked up the definition and all definitions say: Money or property brought by a woman to her husband at marriage. So when I marry my Thai GF I get money??? She always says I have to pay her family. I quess the last one?

It's me,

Kevin

It's best to do your homework on the cultural implications of 'Sin Sod' before commiting to marriage with a Thai gal or you could be very surprised.

[rcm]

typically dowry are given back to the bride and groom after the wedding.

It is true that this may well be(actually happened on our wedding) but it is not the norm that the Dowry is given back to Bride & Groom. Depends also on the wealth of Family. So don't count on it.....best thing is to talk about things before the wedding and also try to find as much info as possible about the traditions here.

rcm

[Heng]

In my experience most sinsots are just for show (returned, usually within a few minutes). There is a notable difference between Thai Thai and Thai-Farang dowry return rates though. I'd guess it's like 80% (returned) to 20% (not returned) for Thai-Thai and 20% returned / 80% (not returned for Thai-farang weddings. It all depends on the family(s) involved.

[grapetable]

Thanks again!

I really have no expectations of getting anything back and dont care really. I do understand the concept of family first in Thailand and actually that culture to me is rather attractive as opposed to our different 'western culture'. I dont mind helping the rels out but there are limits.

I think the whole family are genuine; time will tell.

G

[Stephen Cleary]

Grapetable:

You will really need to sit down and talk things out with your fiancee. Similar to what some members mentioned here, there is no marriage tradition to adhere to in terms of 'dowry'.

You will have to ask your fiancee straight to the point how much dowry is expected. Will your mum-in-law accept all the dowry and keep it? Will she only keep some of it? Or will you get it all back?

If your mum-in-law keeps the dowry, you can expect to collect all the money gifts from guests (this could pay for the wedding ceremony and reception in the evening)

There is no need to have the morning engagement/wedding in a hotel, this can be done at home - saves a lot of cash. The cost of a hotel wedding, all in, with around 100-200 guests? Go for around 150-200,000 baht. My wedding at an army camp cost just less than 100,000 but i got most of it back through money gifts.

If you are marrying into a poor rural family, good chances the family are gonna keep the dowry.

The modern tradition of returning the dowry (It's called 'show') concerns mainly families which are 'better off' and don't need the money. In terms of mum-in-law keeping only some of the dowry it can be called 'kha liang doo' (cost of bringing your loved one up)

BTW: The Thai verb for 'marry' is 'taeng ngarn' which literally translates as 'to make a party' (between 2 parties) So, you really need to talk things straight with your fiancee. If she really loves you for who you are and not yer cash, she will do her best to have you save as much money as possible.

Edited July 6, 2006 by stevesuphan

[thaihome]

I would really appreciate some advice on what is the best way to manage a marriage in BKK, Im marrying a Thai by the way. Im thinking of getting an agency to do all the needed documents and running around associated with the autherisation and certfication with embasseies etc etc . Also is it better to get an agent to organise the ceremonies as well? How much can these cost for say 100 people? If we add all the costs together for gifts, cash, etc what are we looking at approximately. Its so hard to get a handle on this from afar............Its happening in October!

Any help appreciated

ta

I bet sure appreciate all the sage advice you are getting, but I do notice that little of it applies to your actual questions.

One thing I am not sure you are clear on is the fact that the legal registration of marriage in Thailand is completely separate from the ceremonies/reception. As a matter of fact the ceremonies and reception can be separate as well.

In my case, we registered the marriage over 6 years ago and have never had a ceremony or reception. This has happened for a variety of reason, mostly my wife does not want to have the hassle, coupled with the fact we have spent over half our marriage in other Asian countries and not Thailand. We used a service to take care of the registration and I would recommend you do that.

We used a place across the street from Immigration on Suan Plu. You will still need to get paper from Embassy, after that service will call when it is time to go to Amphur to sign papers and pickup Marriage Registration Certificates. There is no ceremony at Amphur. I would imagine your wife can easily find a service to take care of small reception, if she works in Bangkok, her friends or colleagues will certainly have a recommendation.

I have been to 2 wedding receptions this year. First one was Thai-Farang couple that has been living together for some time. The had a ceremony attended only by family at her home town, followed about 2 months later with huge (500+ people) reception at the 5* hotel at which he is GM. They have not actually registered yet as he as a small detail to work out in the UK first.

Second one was a Thai-Thai couple from Chiang Mai, both of whom work in Bangkok. They had a ceremony in Chiang Mai with small reception for family and friends. Then about 2 months later had larger (100+) reception at a hotel in Bangkok for mostly work colleagues. They registered in Bangkok after the ceremony in Chiang Mai.

TH

[Ronpang]

In my experience most sinsots are just for show (returned, usually within a few minutes). There is a notable difference between Thai Thai and Thai-Farang dowry return rates though. I'd guess it's like 80% (returned) to 20% (not returned) for Thai-Thai and 20% returned / 80% (not returned for Thai-farang weddings. It all depends on the family(s) involved.

try to offer them a cheque and to see what's gonna happen.

[t.s]

Hi Thai-Aust,

No not bar-girl (I hope anyway) dowry down to 20K which I think is reasonable. Middle-class? Might just scratch in........whats middle-class in Thailand? But I do not care for the class. She is from Phetchabun if that is any interest to you. I think she is genuine.

A fool and his money is soon parted? We shall see...........

Thanks for the advice.

G

1,000,000 to 20k?

somebody is taking the piss. not sure who though. Unless the first figure is in baht and the second is in dollars.

[Heng]

In my experience most sinsots are just for show (returned, usually within a few minutes). There is a notable difference between Thai Thai and Thai-Farang dowry return rates though. I'd guess it's like 80% (returned) to 20% (not returned) for Thai-Thai and 20% returned / 80% (not returned for Thai-farang weddings. It all depends on the family(s) involved.

try to offer them a cheque and to see what's gonna happen.

'Showing' a cheque is the same thing as showing nothing. To many less well to do locals (not really in the sticks poor folks, but lower end business folks and merchants), cheques are often empty account collateral for unsecured loans (unsecured because there's nothing behind the check). They are provided because you can file charges on bounced checks pretty easily here (you can get the paperwork done in less than an hour) and make it stick, so it's collateral for folks with little or no real collateral.

Although, I've seen folks do it, usually in Thai-Falang weddings. There's no 'set in concrete' rule, so to each his/her own.