Have We All Just Settled For Second Best?

[Maroon Watcher]

.... It seems most people are here for the weather and cheap food/booze/girls or whatever.

 

I built a house for cash - because of my life outside Thailand, no chance of saving here.

 

BUT think again at the first sentence - would you really be here if it wasn't "for the above"

 

Yes, from time to time but a trip back there and I remember I'm better off here. 

 

It does get irritating every now and then when some little kid sees me doing my gardening and shout some obscenities but I then remember that I believe in karma and that;s exactly what I did as a kid -  shouted obscenities at grumpy old men.

 

Australia mind you I like and go there regularly to visit my sis. never noticed everyone with the same skin colour but.

 

I don't miss the cold dark rainy/snowy days where I come from.

 

I do miss the mountains and camping, and going down to the country pubs and picking up the local wenches. Well maybe past that now.

 

I miss the golf courses and the trees, cycle tracks and white puddings.

 

 

 

[pigeonjake]

i get it in the neck from a couple of stalkers on here, saying i cant farm, dont have a work permit for that, i shouldnt be farming,

 

why cant people just let others do what they want,?

if people who do things they shouldnt,and get caught then they only have thereselfs to blame,

 

what i do in thailand dosnt hurt anyone, i dont drink, well not to much, odd time, i dont do drugs, im repected in our village for what i do, i dont just sit around drinking im allways pottering doing something,

i have a bloody happy life, and im not dee,,looded,,lol

 

i believe my wife loves me, if she dosnt she wants an oscar for acting shes a great wife and mother,

 

i wouldnt swap my life, what we have with the pig farm and all we both have worked for, there is many pictures of our farm myself and my wife on the farming pics thread,

 

i dont care what others do, as long as it dosnt bother me,

ive allways been of the opinion live and let live,,

 

 

jake

[peterb17]

Women can't have good jobs in Thailand?
 
Also, you'd prefer everyone to have the same colour skin? Isn't there a word for that?

Think it begins with R ?

[thailiketoo]

 

I hate to be a cynic, but in this case it's warranted.

 

How many of those Facebook happy marriages are really happy?

 

 

 

I for one don't believe anyone who posts on facebook is really that happy. People just want to show off.... kinda like keeping up with the joneses.

 

 

 So why do you believe anyone who posts on TVF, but not on Facebook ?  Do you think a young Thai wife /old farang husband is a really happy marriage ?.
 

For the married couple in Thailand or the ex wife back in the West? 

[Cypress Hill]

i get it in the neck from a couple of stalkers on here, saying i cant farm, dont have a work permit for that, i shouldnt be farming,

 

why cant people just let others do what they want,?

if people who do things they shouldnt,and get caught then they only have thereselfs to blame,

 

what i do in thailand dosnt hurt anyone, i dont drink, well not to much, odd time, i dont do drugs, im repected in our village for what i do, i dont just sit around drinking im allways pottering doing something,

i have a bloody happy life, and im not dee,,looded,,lol

 

 

Can't be sure but I have a theory.

 

It's because you're one of the first to pipe up with a holier-than-thou attitude when there's a discussion about those who stay here on inappropriate visas.

 

I'm most certainly not condoning what they do but they - JUST LIKE YOU - aren't hurting anyone. Your comments about being slated for working on your pig farm seem slightly hypocritical to me and anyone else who's tolerated the stifling smugness that oozes from some of your posts on the visa/immigration discussions.

 

You're just getting back what you put out in the universe, mate.

[trainman34014]

I guess we all miss something from home; in my case it's decent Back Bacon, Pork Pies and perhaps Chocolate Minirolls, all available on more or less every street corner.   However; i don't miss the shitty winter weather, high taxation on everywhere you live and everything you buy, the 'Big Brother' policing attitudes, the miserable local faces and the constant bitching about everything from the price of a pint to 'er indoors' and those 'gits in the office at work'.

 

All in all i'm happy to go back for family visits every few years,  Once the formalities and the cuddles are over i can't wait to get back here !

[Munger]

 

I certainly think that SOME people have settled for less.

In my view, many have been drawn here by the women. Not necessarily to run around availing themselves of everything that's up for it but for the fact they can get a very attractive woman here without having the kind of personality and/or income they would need to land a woman on the same scale back home.

While their friends back home might "confess" to being "envious", in reality, what they feel is more akin to PITY

1. Is it envy or pity they feel when they meet the wife/GF he's thrown his lot in with who can barely string a sentence together in English?
2. Is it envy or pity they feel when they realise that he can barely string a sentence together in Thai?
3. Is it envy or pity they feel when they hear about the immigration hoops he has to jump through to stay in Thailand?
 
4. Is it envy or pity they feel when they hear that the business, the house, the car and the motorbike he claims to own is actually held in his wife/GF's name?
 
5.Is it envy or pity they feel when his health acts up and he's got no insurance to pay for major treatment and he has to beg steal or borrow to cover the expenses?
 
 
There's no doubt that there are guys who've carved out truly enviable lives here but they're the ones who've dodged the marry-a-local bullet and used the lower cost of living to save/invest more of what they earn.

 

 Sure their a lot of very sad stories by people who let their dicks rule their heads but theirs also a lot of very happy long term successful marriages here and age has little to do with it. Im over 80 and my wife is 40 years younger and while we've had ups and downs their is no doubt in my mind that like my first wife if we ever parted she would make sure i was ok. 
 

 

 

 "Happy long term successful marriages, and age has nothing to do with it "  and you are over 80 and your wife is 40 years younger. OK I will ask is there any  42 year old farang men that would be happy with a 82 year old Thai wife ?  I guess none

 

[JLCrab]

I miss those wonderful people back on the farm

[ggt]

You are not alone...my friend...in reexamining your decision to make Thailand home...the daily grind plays on one physically and mentally...many ex-pats are now former residents of Thailand...having moved on to more pleasing cultures or back to their homeland...few...if any...return or even think about returning...Thailand is a dream...a mirage...the truth is much darker...

[CharlieH]

Post removed


11) You will not post slurs, degrading or overly negative comments directed towards Thailand, specific locations, Thai institutions such as the judicial or law enforcement system, Thai culture, Thai people or any other group on the basis of race, nationality, religion, gender or sexual orientation.

[pigeonjake]

 

i get it in the neck from a couple of stalkers on here, saying i cant farm, dont have a work permit for that, i shouldnt be farming,
 
why cant people just let others do what they want,?
if people who do things they shouldnt,and get caught then they only have thereselfs to blame,
 
what i do in thailand dosnt hurt anyone, i dont drink, well not to much, odd time, i dont do drugs, im repected in our village for what i do, i dont just sit around drinking im allways pottering doing something,
i have a bloody happy life, and im not dee,,looded,,lol
 

 
Can't be sure but I have a theory.
 
It's because you're one of the first to pipe up with a holier-than-thou attitude when there's a discussion about those who stay here on inappropriate visas.
 
I'm most certainly not condoning what they do but they - JUST LIKE YOU - aren't hurting anyone. Your comments about being slated for working on your pig farm seem slightly hypocritical to me and anyone else who's tolerated the stifling smugness that oozes from some of your posts on the visa/immigration discussions.
 
You're just getting back what you put out in the universe, mate.
 

im on a retirement visa all legal, 
if it bothers you so much that i potter about on my wifes farm, then my friend you must have a very sad life,
and as for smugness as you put it, if being happy with my life is smugness, then i am,
 
end of story

[Phuketboy]

Personally I am happy here, born and lived in the UK when younger, then Australia for 20 odd years.  I had a good job, owned my own company, made a lot of money and lost a lot as well, but happiness and wealth is not money, it's happiness within.  My friends back home are all doing the same thing day in day out, just like they were 10 years ago.  I remember the first time I took my partner back to Australia and she asked why everyone looked so miserable, doesn't smile and not friendly like they are when they come on holidays?  She then said they are lucky to have nice houses and cars and make good money.  My response was simply yet straight forward.  Yes they have those things, but a lot of people are not happy cause they are caught in the system.  They are going to be working their arses off for the next 30 years to repay the debt they owe the bank.  More people are losing jobs, government is making it harder and harder to make money and get ahead.  When they come on holidays they are happy, cause it's time they have away from the stress. The truth is there are great things in every country and wherever you live will always have pros and cons.  I like living here and enjoy what is here, so at the moment I am extremely happy and can't think of anywhere I would rather be right now.  However,  yes I do miss some things back home, mostly friends.  I find that most of my friends here are not like back home where they will call you up and say hey what you doing lets go to the beach or lets go catch a movie etc.  Does anyone else find that friends is one of the biggest differences?  Does anyone here have any real Thai friends they could put on the same level as back home?  I would be interested in finding this out.  You never know what will happen around the corner, do what makes you happy.

[pigeonjake]

we have some good thai friends who have over the years helped me a lot,

 

like when im away, if we have a sow farrowing, theres an old couple in the next village who my wife rings and they drop everything to come and help,

 

 

[Sam Gold]

It's all a matter of perspective. To a whole lot of guys, living full-time in Thailand is an inaccessible dream and staying in the West is second best.

 

It's normal to have doubts but if you follow your instincts you can't go wrong.

[Daniel Boon]

You need to give yourself a swift uppercut and then subscribe to some Australian publications like Brisbane News ( unrestricted viewing) and Sydney Morning Herald and see the reality ...

[JLCrab]

As far as getting back what you put into the universe, this was a (mock) interview of Chris Farley interviewing Paul McCartney on Saturday Night Live (1993):

 

Chris Farley: Right. I think we.. I think we got time for one more question. Uh.. remember when you were in The Beatles? And, um, you did that album Abbey Road, and at the very end of the song, it would.. the song goes, "And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make"? You.. you remember that?

 

Paul McCartney: Yes.

 

Chris Farley: Uh.. is that true?

 

[thailiketoo]

 

 "Happy long term successful marriages, and age has nothing to do with it "  and you are over 80 and your wife is 40 years younger. OK I will ask is there any  42 year old farang men that would be happy with a 82 year old Thai wife ?  I guess none
 

 

There are many women who have younger husbands all over the world including Thailand.  Do you check them all out?  Hmmm.  You must be very busy.  Some people would say a busy body.  Hmmmm. 

 

[CharlieH]

More posts removed, off topic etc.

This NOT about visas or justifying/discussing relationships.

The constant jibing and bickering/provoking is getting old.

[AnotherOneAmerican]

I certainly think that SOME people have settled for less.

In my view, many have been drawn here by the women. Not necessarily to run around availing themselves of everything that's up for it but for the fact they can get a very attractive woman here without having the kind of personality and/or income they would need to land a woman on the same scale back home.

While their friends back home might "confess" to being "envious", in reality, what they feel is more akin to PITY

1. Is it envy or pity they feel when they meet the wife/GF he's thrown his lot in with who can barely string a sentence together in English?
2. Is it envy or pity they feel when they realise that he can barely string a sentence together in Thai?
3. Is it envy or pity they feel when they hear about the immigration hoops he has to jump through to stay in Thailand?
 
4. Is it envy or pity they feel when they hear that the business, the house, the car and the motorbike he claims to own is actually held in his wife/GF's name?
 
5.Is it envy or pity they feel when his health acts up and he's got no insurance to pay for major treatment and he has to beg steal or borrow
 

<DELETED>
 
There's no doubt that there are guys who've carved out truly enviable lives here but they're the ones who've dodged the marry-a-local bullet and used the lower cost of living to save/invest more of what they earn.

 

 

 

1. Most of the guys I knew would just be looking at the young wife's bum and legs, thinking when was the last time ..........

2. Most of the guys I knew had stopped speaking with their wife 10 years ago, around the time she stopped shagging him.

3. You foreigners aren't immigrants in Thailand, you mean VISA hoops.

4. Rent don't buy, not that it makes a difference, in the west she will take the house in a divorce no matter who has their name on the deed.

5. You're not from the US, are you?

 

Have I settled for less?

Well, smaller house, but less work to do on it.

Loads more free time, as I'm not working anymore.

Nice lunch out every day, looking at the girls in shorts.

 

So,

Less material possessions, more fun and free time.

That's a winner in my book.

[AnotherOneAmerican]

 

 

 "Happy long term successful marriages, and age has nothing to do with it "  and you are over 80 and your wife is 40 years younger. OK I will ask is there any  42 year old farang men that would be happy with a 82 year old Thai wife ?  I guess none

 

 

 

 

Just to point out, if I were 80, any marriage would have a good chance of lasting my remaining lifetime.

 

82 year old Thai wife, 

How much would she be leaving me in her will?

[CharlieH]

Another post removed.

FINAL WARNING!

This thread is deteriorating with every post, anymore personal comments or attacks and suspensions will be issued.

[connda]

If you're that young, you should probably go back and live the Australian Dream.  Vacation here, and maybe come back after your Australian wife(s) have divorced you (or vice versa) and you've received your pension.  Things will look different then.  Best of luck -- tough decision to make.

[Mammon]

Reading the OP is like reading my own thoughts, I really miss the camping, clean rivers, good fishing, camp fires on the banks of a lonely water hole, watching the stars and staring into the fire thinking about what a great day it was and where to tomorrow. Then I think about the cost of living, never having a girl like I have now and the politics and I just put off going home for another day, week, month....... But I do think you are right about second best.

[Suradit69]

Have We All Just Settled For Second Best?

 

 

Judging by the number of people who have been hiding out on overstay or making serial border runs, those who can't manage the financial requirements for retirement or marriage extensions, those who are thinking about shifting to the Philippines or Cambodia because Baht 65,000 or Baht 40,000 a month is too high a hurdle ... this isn't second best by a long way. If they tried to make it back in Farang Land, the only time they'd see pristine beaches would be when they were performing court mandated community service picking up litter.

[Wasa]

 

I hate to be a cynic, but in this case it's warranted.

 

How many of those Facebook happy marriages are really happy?

 

 

 

I for one don't believe anyone who posts on facebook is really that happy. People just want to show off.... kinda like keeping up with the joneses.

 

 

 

 

 

 So why do you believe anyone who posts on TVF, but not on Facebook ?  Do you think a young Thai wife /old farang husband is a really happy marriage ?.
 

 

 

Yes, its absolute heaven........!!!

[KhnomKhnom]

Sadly, life in middle class America has gone down hill in most joy of living areas.

-real wages are well behind real cost of living.

-cost of everything has skyrocketed.

-property values were cut to ribbons many places and still low.

-no Buddhists around but plenty of condemning Christians.

-sick commercial-saturated TV.

-children prefer video game to persons.

-regular food is sugar saturated.

 

Oh, I could go on and on.  I sold my Fla house 15mos prior to the property crash there and the new owners had 60% market value compared to what they paid me by then.  Property taxes did not go down.

 

Poor class of Thai people, who I live with, have life values so much more humane and life and joy centered, I could never go back for that reason alone.

[dotpoom]

I follow the news and chat shows from home country daily (Western Europe) and they are mostly living in misery with hugh debts, house repossessions, no jobs, ever increasing taxes, poor health system, etc., etc., etc.,. More people die from suicide than road accidents.

    No, I don't miss it one little bit and count my blessings here on a daily (hourly) basis.

[Berkshire]

If you're not mega-wealthy (i.e., the OP and most Thailand expats), living in the west would mean settling for far less than "second best." 

[Munger]

 

 

I hate to be a cynic, but in this case it's warranted.

 

How many of those Facebook happy marriages are really happy?

 

 

 

I for one don't believe anyone who posts on facebook is really that happy. People just want to show off.... kinda like keeping up with the joneses.

 

 

 

 

 

 So why do you believe anyone who posts on TVF, but not on Facebook ?  Do you think a young Thai wife /old farang husband is a really happy marriage ?.
 

 

 

Yes, its absolute heaven........!!!

 

 

Not heaven for the Thai wife of 42 with the farang husband at 82, Surely.

 

[khunpa]

Choosing to do the "not normal" thing, takes strength and is not always easy. Personally, I feel I have done what is right for me.

 

Could care less about all the free stuff etc. I wake up happy every day here and that is really all that matters.