My partner does not communicate

[1FinickyOne]

Sometimes I have heard thai people use boring instead of bored. So, it comes as out "I think you are boring" instead of "I think I am boring you"

after that you have culture and langauge and male/female issues - - have you ever considered living alone?

[John1thru10]

Maybe now you know why most of the guys marry hookers.

Translation: Now you know why ATF is so angry and lonely.

[nikthekiwi]

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When i read on these boards about all the problems guys have with Thai women ,i just cannot understand why so many have a problem ,in 24 years i had 2 Thai girlfiends here and in the UK both were really nice and no problem at all ,we just broke up on good terms ,my wife is a little ,(not little she is quite tall) treasure ,hard working ,loving and has been a great mum ,both in the UK and here in Thailand . the only thing i can think is that either the guy is not the best partner or they came here on a two week holiday and fell in love with the first bar girl with no manners or education that they rogered. apart from that ,i know shit happens even to the best of us ,but those guys rarely write their experiences down .

And talking about the first girl they rogered ,i have an aquaintance coming back soon who has"fallen in love" he thinks she is back at the farm waiting for him ,in fact she is still in the bar ,and going to meet him at the airport and take him home ,question ,should i tell him? the wife says ,as he isnt a good friend let him make his own mistakes ,he wont thank you. alt=rolleyes.gif>

Oh ,to the op ,move on lifes to short.

The best favour you can do is keep an eye on him and his finances...

[manarak]

she might be into other girls.

sometimes they try a man for a while but their heart isn't in it.

hey... that's not necessarily a bad thing, 555

[John1thru10]

Sometimes I have heard thai people use boring instead of bored. So, it comes as out "I think you are boring" instead of "I think I am boring you"

after that you have culture and langauge and male/female issues - - have you ever considered living alone?

That's a REALLY good point.

[mrtoad]

Maybe now you know why most of the guys marry hookers.

Translation: Now you know why ATF is so angry and lonely.

On what basis?

[John1thru10]

she might be into other girls.

sometimes they try a man for a while but their heart isn't in it.

'Sometimes' the man is twice her age, decidedly unattractive and thinks that a few baht makes him interesting, as well. This aspect always amazes me in Thailand, they way foreign men are able to delude themselves into thinking themselves some great catch, when they often aren't even nice people to know, let alone aging and unattractive. Then starts all the talk about how 'evil' Thai women are, how they 'only want your money'. I mean...it's obvious sometimes from the outside.

[utkb]

Some random thoughts to throw out:

• Is it possible she is pining over a past boy friend (one that is less boring?).
• She may want to end the relationship, but hopes you dump her so she doesn't lose face.
• It is also possible that she wants more sex, but feels it is improper for the women to initiate the act.
• Look for subtle hints, like a raised butt (some thai girls like to imitate a cat as a way to tell you they are in heat

Ok, you posed the question, I'm just having some fun with the answers. Hope it works out for you.

[John1thru10]

Maybe the OP should switch to ladyboys. I'm not even being that sarcastic

Edited August 15, 2014 by John1thru10

[choochoo]

Sometimes I have heard thai people use boring instead of bored. So, it comes as out "I think you are boring" instead of "I think I am boring you"

after that you have culture and langauge and male/female issues - - have you ever considered living alone?

either way the 2 shouldnt be together!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[JLCrab]

she might be into other girls.

sometimes they try a man for a while but their heart isn't in it.

'Sometimes' the man is twice her age, decidedly unattractive and thinks that a few baht makes him interesting, as well. This aspect always amazes me in Thailand, they way foreign men are able to delude themselves into thinking themselves some great catch, when they often aren't even nice people to know, let alone aging and unattractive. Then starts all the talk about how 'evil' Thai women are, how they 'only want your money'. I mean...it's obvious sometimes from the outside.

We communicate real well even though she doesn't speak English. I pay for her own small apartment so I can say when we're done communicating: Why don't you go back to your place and hang out your friends and leave me alone?

[arthurwait]

Where do you meet these 'sort of Hi-so girls' , I've always wanted on of thse 'sort of Hi-so' girls ?

What is 'Sort of Hi-so' ? So- so, not so, a so and so ?

[choochoo]

she might be into other girls.

sometimes they try a man for a while but their heart isn't in it.

'Sometimes' the man is twice her age, decidedly unattractive and thinks that a few baht makes him interesting, as well. This aspect always amazes me in Thailand, they way foreign men are able to delude themselves into thinking themselves some great catch, when they often aren't even nice people to know, let alone aging and unattractive. Then starts all the talk about how 'evil' Thai women are, how they 'only want your money'. I mean...it's obvious sometimes from the outside.

Guys dont understand simple concept. You cant buy love. If a girl dont like you after you give her a big sin sood and a big house she still wont like you..............lol.

[joshuatdixon]

I was married happily for 3 years to my ex-wife, and we communicated great! Honestly! IT was super easy, we were great together, only occasionally fought. One day she wants a divorce, I couldn't figure it out until I tracked her mobile phone and found her at her boyfriends house.

My best friend just started his divorce. Had a great marriage for a year, his wife gets pregnant and immediately changes. He goes through 2 years of living hell without sex at all. She finally divorces him, he has no idea what happened. No he is finally able to start living a happy life thankfully.

Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.

I'm almost to the point now where I don't think it always comes down to communication, but it matters as to how much you are willing to live with the rest of your life.....or the rest of your relationship.

Then it's another chapter...

My thought on this is I can't really suggest anything as I only know you and you girlfriend and your personalities from your forum post, so just do what feels right. Maybe try something new?

[choochoo]

she might be into other girls.

sometimes they try a man for a while but their heart isn't in it.

'Sometimes' the man is twice her age, decidedly unattractive and thinks that a few baht makes him interesting, as well. This aspect always amazes me in Thailand, they way foreign men are able to delude themselves into thinking themselves some great catch, when they often aren't even nice people to know, let alone aging and unattractive. Then starts all the talk about how 'evil' Thai women are, how they 'only want your money'. I mean...it's obvious sometimes from the outside.

We communicate real well even though she doesn't speak English. I pay for her own small apartment so I can say when we're done communicating: Why don't you go back to your place and hang out your friends and leave me alone?

Paying for a girls apt? Is she from the BAR scene?

I bet if stop pay for apt girl will stop communicating with you.......................lol.

Are you guys for REAL?

Edited August 15, 2014 by choochoo

[utkb]

she might be into other girls.

sometimes they try a man for a while but their heart isn't in it.

'Sometimes' the man is twice her age, decidedly unattractive and thinks that a few baht makes him interesting, as well. This aspect always amazes me in Thailand, they way foreign men are able to delude themselves into thinking themselves some great catch, when they often aren't even nice people to know, let alone aging and unattractive. Then starts all the talk about how 'evil' Thai women are, how they 'only want your money'. I mean...it's obvious sometimes from the outside.

Sometimes these are very obvious. I remember seeing a pocket protector, high water pants nerd with a gorgeous Thai girl at SIAM food court once. It was very obvious misfit and also obvious that the girl was looking for a way out - it seemed she was hoping not to be seen by any of her friends, But he kept throwing money at her. It was very sad thing to see. (ok some speculation/inferences on my part, but that's how I took the situation)

[neverdie]

Maybe now you know why most of the guys marry hookers.

Translation: Now you know why ATF is so angry and lonely.

On what basis?

On the basis he is being bitter and nasty about ATF. Something he constantly accuses others of being. The word Hypocrite springs to mind. Edited August 15, 2014 by neverdie

[Captbonio]

OP ... I had a relationship experience that parallels your very closely. She has a good job, good benefits,will get retirement benefits, owns a house outright, has a car, a motorcycle. We talked for two years on Skype ... had our ups and downs... Came here - things went just fine for 2 months... then started going downhill rapidly. She began talking about a big house, sin sod... and when I didn't respond as she wanted she began a silent campaign of rejecting me. She could never really talk about exactly what she wanted and would never say what I did offer was good or bad. I found I couldn't negotiate anything because she never revealed much of anything...

She began faking not liking sex and amazingly said one day that I could go travel over Thailand meet some of my American friends and a year later I could come back and we could get married. And I said - well - what about you hating sex - that is makes you sick and you hurt for weeks at a time ? What about that - how do we get around that? She answered - 'it will be fine - no problem after we get married and build house and have sin sot... WOW!!! It took me 10 minutes to get my dropped jaw back closed... Wow!

Earlier I said (about sin sot / sod) that not wanting to be harsh but sin sot for a previously married woman of age 49 is not really on the table... and if it was I would present it (here in modern Thailand) and your family would return it after the wedding -- and we could use it for the furnishing the house or what ever... She answered no -- the money is for me - I keep it...

I packed my things and left after 2.5 months of living with her... as she got much worse in her manipulation and near vengeful actions... We were never able to reconcile - came close - but the same issues rose up... And to this day she still cannot - will not communicate her inner feelings in any effective way.

I had mistakenly thought that since she had more than what 90% of non hi so women in Thailand have ... at least in the top 10% of everyday Thai female wage earners that my offer of sharing our incomes to build a future would be sufficient ... she wanted no part of working together to build a future - she wanted it NOW - not even next year - but now.

And come to find out via a mutual American friend that she did not believe that I wasn't rich and that I had been lying to her that I was not rich. I have plenty to live on and have a good life in Thailand - but not rich... My friend assured her I was not lying .. this was at about the start of the downhill run. Sharing was just not in her vocabulary.

Needless to say OP that I was greatly disappointed ... but leaving was the only choice... as IMO your g/l is acting very much like mine did ... You will be much better off - if you just go... it is not fixable ...

What a story.

You absolutely did the right thing in my opinion

I must admit still not really understanding this SinSod request from her, as she was secure anyway

Was it to improve her self worth perhaps? I cant see that it was for financial gain (though clearly there would be some) as you were both financially in a good place...

The common theme with a lot of these posts is not really understanding your other half...Maybe im just old fashioned but despite all the other attributes the gf/wife offers, if you cant communicate, the relationship is destined for failure so get out when you find there are just too many points left unanswered.

[JLCrab]

she might be into other girls.

sometimes they try a man for a while but their heart isn't in it.

'Sometimes' the man is twice her age, decidedly unattractive and thinks that a few baht makes him interesting, as well. This aspect always amazes me in Thailand, they way foreign men are able to delude themselves into thinking themselves some great catch, when they often aren't even nice people to know, let alone aging and unattractive. Then starts all the talk about how 'evil' Thai women are, how they 'only want your money'. I mean...it's obvious sometimes from the outside.

We communicate real well even though she doesn't speak English. I pay for her own small apartment so I can say when we're done communicating: Why don't you go back to your place and hang out your friends and leave me alone?

Paying for a girls apt? Is she from the BAR scene?

I bet if stop pay for apt girl will stop communicating with you.......................lol.

Are you guys for REAL?

You don't have the slightest F88888g idea, do you?

Edited August 15, 2014 by JLCrab

[SNGLIFE]

1. Love

2. Trust (includes "communication")

3. Money

If you have all three in good amounts, you can work through it. If you have two of the three in copious amounts, you can work through it. If you have only 1, the relationship is doomed. Get out. Good luck.

[choochoo]

You don't have the slightest F88888g idea, do you?

Paying for a girls apt? Is she from the BAR scene?

We communicate real well even though she doesn't speak English. I pay for her own small apartment so I can say when we're done communicating: Why don't you go back to your place and hang out your friends and leave me alone?

sometimes they try a man for a while but their heart isn't in it.

'Sometimes' the man is twice her age, decidedly unattractive and thinks that a few baht makes him interesting, as well. This aspect always amazes me in Thailand, they way foreign men are able to delude themselves into thinking themselves some great catch, when they often aren't even nice people to know, let alone aging and unattractive. Then starts all the talk about how 'evil' Thai women are, how they 'only want your money'. I mean...it's obvious sometimes from the outside.

I bet if stop pay for apt girl will stop communicating with you.......................lol.

Are you guys for REAL?

You the 1 paying for a girls apt. Why? So she can communicate with other men. So nice of you.

[Stradavarius37]

Asking for relationship advice from this lot is like asking for ethics lessons from a Thai politician.

Sent from my iPhone using ThaiVisa app

[JLCrab]

Well that's #1 of your 3 guesses.

[utkb]

she might be into other girls.

sometimes they try a man for a while but their heart isn't in it.

hey... that's not necessarily a bad thing, 555

Hey its Thailand, he could always invite another girl over tho find out. Couldn't hurt, and at the least she would have to stop saying he is boring ....

[penwithcris]

Some Thai girls I have encountered are naturally reserved. In the main they have been raised in a traditional Thai family when being too talkative and emotional are frowned upon

On the other hand girls that are selling sex and trying to net a Farang have to sell themselves by being outgoing and chatty

I guess a happy medium would be ideal, but not easy to find

But self analysis is important too.How many men measure up to a woman's ideal partner?

I don't think the questioner is happy in his relationship and it is hard to see the situation improving over the long term.

Maybe it's time to jump ship and move on. One thing above all in the LOS is that there is an abundance of attractive, available women at one's fingertips

Maybe your partner would also be relieved to be out of her unexciting, sexless relationship?

[JLCrab]

There may be girls out there trying to net a farang, for sure ... there are also girls out there well worth meeting that have never even met a farang mainly because they don't speak English.

[Cypress Hill]

After pointing out why nobody here can give any meaningful advice, do you have any meaningful advice?

I mean you allude to having read the book, "What Men Need to Know About Women" in fact, you could be the author no?

How does pointing out the facts translate to my claiming or alluding to be an authority? NO man can claim to know women inside and out but most - outside the confines of the mirage that is Thailand - realise that they can be pragmatic and irrational in equal measure. I think what I wrote is true of a significant percentage of the Western men who come to Thailand.

Oh and, since you asked, I think he should split.

Sounds to me as though you are 'on show'. Thais are considered one status up if they have a farang in tow. You're an ornament to show her friends by the sound of it

Sorry but have you actually BEEN to Thailand?

Edited August 15, 2014 by Cypress Hill

[nithisa78]

Near all women want to be married. Maybe the problem has nothing to do with the women. Maybe it is you? There is not enough information here to say. Plus all there is is your version. Best of luck.

[dotpoom]

I often wonder when I read posts like this ..."what is the purpose of asking here". You're not really intending to take any advice you get here, are you?. Only you can make decisions about your future based on the type of person you are, and nobody knows that better than yourself.

If it's just to take it out of your head and put it on paper to see it more clearly....that I understand....but you can do that on any piece of A4. In fact, it is a recommended practice to help find answers when we are unsure of what way to turn next.

[RecklessRon]

FREE internet translation sites are a great way for two people who don't speak the same language to communicate.

I always translate from English into Thai and then use a second site to translate that Thai back into English. That way I know what I am saying - often translators reverse the meaning by adding or not adding a negative!

I use Babylon (translates in both directions for many languages) and Thai2English (only translates one way but gives a much more detailed word-by-word translation including English and Thai using our alphabet - ie: pom chop poo ying

Try writing some love letters or poetry using Facebook or Skype messages (or email).