The Expat Divide...

[Tham1]

why post gibberish like this?

[culicine]

Fair question but I might counter with, why not? Just thought I would cast this upon the waters and see if I could get a conversation started. Thinking about going for a mt. bike ride but waiting for some clouds to pass so have few minutes to kill.

well, to me I dont fret that other farangs think differently than me in thailand any more than in my home country. i dont try and broach the divide in the home country so why would that be different in thailand?

Then clearly this is not an issue for you and that is a good thing. I am not sure it is such a nonissue for all, but I could be wrong.

i like the idea of the bike ride. no divide there

Unless it's the Great Dividing Range

[daveAustin]

This again.

Given the higher likelihood of bumping into an oddball paedo weirdo religious nut that tend to wash up on these shores, I don't blame those who would rather not chance interacting with a whitey stranger. I will nod but please don't get in my face.

[AYJAYDEE]

9 pages, 210 posts ......and still no sense of coming together, of reaching compromise, of accepting difference. Some seem only to want to strengthen division. So much vitriol & abuse. It seems to me that perhaps there are some mother countries who would have been only too happy to have lost their ’sons’.

<Shakes head slowly from side to side>.

Although new here, I have been a regular contributor to internet forums for over a decade now & have witnessed the ups & downs of ‘online life’, but truthfully the only forums I have seen where such abuse & lack of acceptance has been as prevalent as in this thread have been those largely populated by teenage boys. I certainly had not expected it here.

If I believed that much of the input to this thread was representative of the community we are considering moving to...... well we just wouldn’t bother

youbut clearly there are many who do...... given the relative anonymity of an internet forum. Big men with little typing fingers?

It really makes me wonder WHY many choose to participate here. I choose this & other forums as a place to share, to learn & to connect. Isn’t that what forums are about? So why such lack of respect from many? Do they feel that those they perceive as different are responsible for the hurt in their lives* & does lashing out somehow makes them feel better. Perhaps lashing out is their only means of connecting? Maybe it’s a good thing & keeps those people’s (& those around them) lives more stable? Perhaps some of what we see here is envy of those who have made a success of their expat transition? Whatever it is, it is not pretty & I doubt that it serves any real purpose other than to maintain the protective walls that folk have built around themselves. It must be lonely inside.

These are my observations, my view albeit a little provocative, which I would like to think might encourage folk to examine their motives for writing what they do, even if only briefly. I may have things completely wrong, but that is ok if the response is one of self reflection leading to an increased willingnes to accommodate difference. My guess though is that well established self protective mechanisms will come into play & that I will either be ignored or attacked....... which of course is just more of the same.

*a belief which is surely a recipe for disaster particularly for folk who choose to leave familiarity & move to a different culture. How many left familiarity because it didn’t work for them - out of the fying pan into the fire? (A rhetorical question).

man you sure got some opinion of yourself dont ya. you think youre gonna come in here and lead the unwashed out of the darkness and into the light of harmony? You say you dont judge how others live and then proceed to do exactly that. No one is forcing you to read these posts that seem to upset you so much and I doubt many here consider you a worthy guru.

Edited September 10, 2014 by AYJAYDEE

[Cuppa]

9 pages, 210 posts ......and still no sense of coming together, of reaching compromise, of accepting difference. Some seem only to want to strengthen division. So much vitriol & abuse. It seems to me that perhaps there are some mother countries who would have been only too happy to have lost their ’sons’.

<Shakes head slowly from side to side>.

Although new here, I have been a regular contributor to internet forums for over a decade now & have witnessed the ups & downs of ‘online life’, but truthfully the only forums I have seen where such abuse & lack of acceptance has been as prevalent as in this thread have been those largely populated by teenage boys. I certainly had not expected it here.

If I believed that much of the input to this thread was representative of the community we are considering moving to...... well we just wouldn’t bother

youbut clearly there are many who do...... given the relative anonymity of an internet forum. Big men with little typing fingers?

It really makes me wonder WHY many choose to participate here. I choose this & other forums as a place to share, to learn & to connect. Isn’t that what forums are about? So why such lack of respect from many? Do they feel that those they perceive as different are responsible for the hurt in their lives* & does lashing out somehow makes them feel better. Perhaps lashing out is their only means of connecting? Maybe it’s a good thing & keeps those people’s (& those around them) lives more stable? Perhaps some of what we see here is envy of those who have made a success of their expat transition? Whatever it is, it is not pretty & I doubt that it serves any real purpose other than to maintain the protective walls that folk have built around themselves. It must be lonely inside.

These are my observations, my view albeit a little provocative, which I would like to think might encourage folk to examine their motives for writing what they do, even if only briefly. I may have things completely wrong, but that is ok if the response is one of self reflection leading to an increased willingnes to accommodate difference. My guess though is that well established self protective mechanisms will come into play & that I will either be ignored or attacked....... which of course is just more of the same.

*a belief which is surely a recipe for disaster particularly for folk who choose to leave familiarity & move to a different culture. How many left familiarity because it didn’t work for them - out of the fying pan into the fire? (A rhetorical question).

man you sure got some opinion of yourself dont ya. you think youre gonna come in here and lead the unwashed out of the darkness and into the light of harmony? You say you dont judge how others live and then proceed to do exactly that. No one is forcing you to read these posts that seem to upset you so much and I doubt many here consider you a worthy guru.

I’m sorry you took it that way. The judgement in my post had nothing to do with how people live their lives. It did have to do with what & how some have posted in this thread. There is a big difference.

I ‘owned’ my comments & acknowledged they may not be correct. ‘Guru’ certainly not.... LOL. ‘Outsider looking in’ - yes. Of course taking this position carries the risk of failing to see the whole picture as well as the ability to provide a fresh look which is not coloured by any allegiances, forum history or baggage. It also invites shrieks of “what do you know?” from anyone who fails to recognise my lack of allegiances.

I consider that having avoided directing my comments at anyone personally that it might be reasonable to expect responses to what I had said, not personal attack. However given the unreasonable nature of some of the previous posts (IMO) I predicted personal attack may occur. Seems I was on the mark.

I’m not sure what I wrote which resulted in you concluding that the posts here have upset me. I’m not upset at all, I have found the variety of posts & posting styles both interesting & puzzling, and have been disappointed with the levels of disrespect & personal attack as well as appreciating the ‘considered’ posts, even those which don’t fit with my world view.

Wouldn’t most here prefer to get along rather than fight? Sure I may be a little naive to expect this but my posts are made with good & honest intent, & I don’t reckon I deserve to be slagged off for that. As adults we should surely be capable of ‘playing the ball & not the man”.

I won’t be buying into an ongoing keyboard fight & I ask that you recognise that I have not responded in kind by becoming personal.

Edited September 10, 2014 by Cuppa

[JLCrab]

Substitute your country of choice but as David Bowie sang:

This is not America

Shalalalala

(Music by Pat Metheny and Lyle Mays if you want to go to YouTube)

[villagefarang]

Wouldn’t most here prefer to get along rather than fight? Sure I may be a little naive to expect this but my posts are made with good & honest intent, & I don’t reckon I deserve to be slagged off for that. As adults we should surely be capable of ‘playing the ball & not the man”.

I won’t be buying into an ongoing keyboard fight & I ask that you recognise that I have not responded in kind by becoming personal.

There are many thoughtful posters on TV but there is a vocal group who “play the man, not the ball” as you point out.

[AYJAYDEE]

9 pages, 210 posts ......and still no sense of coming together, of reaching compromise, of accepting difference. Some seem only to want to strengthen division. So much vitriol & abuse. It seems to me that perhaps there are some mother countries who would have been only too happy to have lost their ’sons’.

<Shakes head slowly from side to side>.

Although new here, I have been a regular contributor to internet forums for over a decade now & have witnessed the ups & downs of ‘online life’, but truthfully the only forums I have seen where such abuse & lack of acceptance has been as prevalent as in this thread have been those largely populated by teenage boys. I certainly had not expected it here.

If I believed that much of the input to this thread was representative of the community we are considering moving to...... well we just wouldn’t bother

youbut clearly there are many who do...... given the relative anonymity of an internet forum. Big men with little typing fingers?

It really makes me wonder WHY many choose to participate here. I choose this & other forums as a place to share, to learn & to connect. Isn’t that what forums are about? So why such lack of respect from many? Do they feel that those they perceive as different are responsible for the hurt in their lives* & does lashing out somehow makes them feel better. Perhaps lashing out is their only means of connecting? Maybe it’s a good thing & keeps those people’s (& those around them) lives more stable? Perhaps some of what we see here is envy of those who have made a success of their expat transition? Whatever it is, it is not pretty & I doubt that it serves any real purpose other than to maintain the protective walls that folk have built around themselves. It must be lonely inside.

These are my observations, my view albeit a little provocative, which I would like to think might encourage folk to examine their motives for writing what they do, even if only briefly. I may have things completely wrong, but that is ok if the response is one of self reflection leading to an increased willingnes to accommodate difference. My guess though is that well established self protective mechanisms will come into play & that I will either be ignored or attacked....... which of course is just more of the same.

*a belief which is surely a recipe for disaster particularly for folk who choose to leave familiarity & move to a different culture. How many left familiarity because it didn’t work for them - out of the fying pan into the fire? (A rhetorical question).

man you sure got some opinion of yourself dont ya. you think youre gonna come in here and lead the unwashed out of the darkness and into the light of harmony? You say you dont judge how others live and then proceed to do exactly that. No one is forcing you to read these posts that seem to upset you so much and I doubt many here consider you a worthy guru.

I’m sorry you took it that way. The judgement in my post had nothing to do with how people live their lives. It did have to do with what & how some have posted in this thread. There is a big difference.

I ‘owned’ my comments & acknowledged they may not be correct. ‘Guru’ certainly not.... LOL. ‘Outsider looking in’ - yes. Of course taking this position carries the risk of failing to see the whole picture as well as the ability to provide a fresh look which is not coloured by any allegiances, forum history or baggage. It also invites shrieks of “what do you know?” from anyone who fails to recognise my lack of allegiances.

I consider that having avoided directing my comments at anyone personally that it might be reasonable to expect responses to what I had said, not personal attack. However given the unreasonable nature of some of the previous posts (IMO) I predicted personal attack may occur. Seems I was on the mark.

I’m not sure what I wrote which resulted in you concluding that the posts here have upset me. I’m not upset at all, I have found the variety of posts & posting styles both interesting & puzzling, and have been disappointed with the levels of disrespect & personal attack as well as appreciating the ‘considered’ posts, even those which don’t fit with my world view.

Wouldn’t most here prefer to get along rather than fight? Sure I may be a little naive to expect this but my posts are made with good & honest intent, & I don’t reckon I deserve to be slagged off for that. As adults we should surely be capable of ‘playing the ball & not the man”.

I won’t be buying into an ongoing keyboard fight & I ask that you recognise that I have not responded in kind by becoming personal.

"but that is ok if the response is one of self reflection leading to an increased willingnes to accommodate difference." gurus like to influence the great unwahed

what people post in this threa is a part of how they live their lives and you judged them

[J Bradley]

From reading his lame retorts, it sounds like those are some fascinatingly witty conversations that villagefarang (the kindergarten wordsmith) engages in

Hey bro, I'm Steve. What's up?

Hello. It's a genuine pleasure to meet you.

So how's things? I just moved here. Loving it, too. I took early retirement after 25 years on Wall Street.

Oh! Gosh! Really?

Yeah, so what do you do?

Well, I suppose one could say that one dabbles in words.

Oh yeah? Really? You an author or an Ivy League academic?

No! Not all all! I suppose one could best describe oneself by saying that one is, well, a word smith.

Hey -- best-selling author, huh? Congratulations, man!

No. Perhaps you misunderstand. One writes threads on forums.

Mmmmm. Listen -- great to meet you, but I gotta go. You take care, man.

Oh! Yes! Certainly! Good bye! It was wonderful to meet you!

[Cuppa]

and you judged them

I’m sorry I can’t let that go, it is incorrect, although if that is your belief it explains why you responded to me as you have.

I judged no-one, I judged behaviour, expressed my irritation with the behaviour & ‘wondered aloud’ why such behaviour might be so prevalent.

Please don’t post quotes from me which you have altered without at least acknowledging responsibility for the change.

[rijb]

Wouldn’t most here prefer to get along rather than fight? Sure I may be a little naive to expect this but my posts are made with good & honest intent, & I don’t reckon I deserve to be slagged off for that. As adults we should surely be capable of ‘playing the ball & not the man”.

I won’t be buying into an ongoing keyboard fight & I ask that you recognise that I have not responded in kind by becoming personal.

There are many thoughtful posters on TV but there is a vocal group who “play the man, not the ball” as you point out.

That’s your problem. You’re playing the wrong game.

Put your balls away and pull out your cards.

in poker you never play your hand … you play the man across from you - James Bond

[thailiketoo]

Wouldn’t most here prefer to get along rather than fight? Sure I may be a little naive to expect this but my posts are made with good & honest intent, & I don’t reckon I deserve to be slagged off for that. As adults we should surely be capable of ‘playing the ball & not the man”.

I won’t be buying into an ongoing keyboard fight & I ask that you recognise that I have not responded in kind by becoming personal.

There are many thoughtful posters on TV but there is a vocal group who “play the man, not the ball” as you point out.

That’s your problem. You’re playing the wrong game.

Put your balls away and pull out your cards.

in poker you never play your hand … you play the man across from you - James Bond

TV posting rules. 7) You will respect fellow members and post in a civil manner. No personal attacks, hateful or insulting towards other members. I believe this covers ad hominem attacks. Correct me if I'm wrong. Notice I said correct me if I'm wrong not attack me if I'm wrong.

Edited September 10, 2014 by thailiketoo

[starky]

The reality is most of my good friends I met way before I came to Thailand. If I was in Bangkok or Pattaya or Phuket sure I would be happy to have a chat and let someone piss in my pocket for a few hours, and I have met some great people in these places but they aren't what I consider good friends. For those of us that live in more remote areas.... well if you go out of your way to meet the local white fellas it's 50/50 maybe good blokes maybe idiots and in a remote location it's very hard to remove yourself from the situation once you have introduced yourself and beyond that there is nowhere to hide if said person turns out to be a goose. Just because we are both foreigners in Thailand doesn't presume we have anything at all in common I believe. Personally I have zero interest in meeting the local farang and have no need to, it's not why I moved to Isaan and I don't pine for the company of people with similar skin or English language abilities. I am fluent in Thai so have heaps of people to speak with and beyond that have a phone that roams and Skype and Line and all the other ways I can talk to my real friends who I am actually interested in talking to. Why should I or need to bridge this imaginary divide of which you speak? Doesn't make much sense to me IMO

Having that avatar, I'm surprised you don't want to stick together with your fellow whites.

https://www.google.co.th/search?q=agent+bulldog+nazi&es_sm=93&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ei=qakOVJKSFdPkuQShroKYDw&ved=0CAgQ_AUoAQ&biw=1146&bih=559#tbm=isch&q=pitbull+nazi

Ahhh Neeranam nice... way to go off topic but kudos to you. If I am not mistaken you used the same joke in a forum on here when we were discussing pit bulls. It was somewhat amusing then less so now. What surprises me more is your intimate knowledge of skinhead culture. My avatar is from a company in the US that sells merchandise for dogs and I am sure that they are as unaware as I was that this logo has been misappropriated. I am neither a racist nor a white supremacist. I just like the dogs. If you choose to make fun at my expense that is your right but seeing as it is coming from someone that knows nothing about me my family or my life personally I find it quite offensive. The problem with forums such as TV is that insipid, uninspired people get to make comments about people they know nothing about without fear of censure or repercussion. Suffice to say jovial as I may be the response may not be the same were you to make such accusations face to face. Cheers.

[tubby johnson]

All this fuss and quarreling, but villagefarang is still a lonely country bumpkin out in hillbilly land. Won't anyone send him some used clothes and partially-used medicine out of sympathy?

[Pattaya Lous]

Sorry friend I would like to comment on this subject but no offence your post is far to long and drawn out got about half way through reading it and had to stop

TVF is an excellent forum for general questions help and advice about living and spending time in Thailand, getting to understand the culture and learning from others experiences.

[Gecko123]

All this fuss and quarreling, but villagefarang is still a lonely country bumpkin out in hillbilly land. Won't anyone send him some used clothes and partially-used medicine out of sympathy?

What's with all the hatin', stalkin' and personal vendetta-ing?

Not taking sides here, just intriqued.

[mikemac]

Everyone is different I suppose, but I did not come to Thailand to sit in Aussie bars (9 years here on and off and never stepped foot in one) or to swap stories in bars with fellow expats, not really that interested in what the others are doing.

Now married with son (1 yo tomorrow) and my whole life seems to revolve around him and my wife and her family.

In the past 9 years I have made a handful of what I would call true friends, and most of them are Brits.

I have rarely met a Thai who I did not get on with, and have some very good Thai friends, some are like family now.

The only travelers/expats who give me the time of day passing on the street seem to be Brits, Kiwis and Aussies. The rest of them, especially the Euro trash can go ---- themselves.

[Neeranam]

The reality is most of my good friends I met way before I came to Thailand. If I was in Bangkok or Pattaya or Phuket sure I would be happy to have a chat and let someone piss in my pocket for a few hours, and I have met some great people in these places but they aren't what I consider good friends. For those of us that live in more remote areas.... well if you go out of your way to meet the local white fellas it's 50/50 maybe good blokes maybe idiots and in a remote location it's very hard to remove yourself from the situation once you have introduced yourself and beyond that there is nowhere to hide if said person turns out to be a goose. Just because we are both foreigners in Thailand doesn't presume we have anything at all in common I believe. Personally I have zero interest in meeting the local farang and have no need to, it's not why I moved to Isaan and I don't pine for the company of people with similar skin or English language abilities. I am fluent in Thai so have heaps of people to speak with and beyond that have a phone that roams and Skype and Line and all the other ways I can talk to my real friends who I am actually interested in talking to. Why should I or need to bridge this imaginary divide of which you speak? Doesn't make much sense to me IMO

Having that avatar, I'm surprised you don't want to stick together with your fellow whites.

https://www.google.co.th/search?q=agent+bulldog+nazi&es_sm=93&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ei=qakOVJKSFdPkuQShroKYDw&ved=0CAgQ_AUoAQ&biw=1146&bih=559#tbm=isch&q=pitbull+nazi

Ahhh Neeranam nice... way to go off topic but kudos to you. If I am not mistaken you used the same joke in a forum on here when we were discussing pit bulls. It was somewhat amusing then less so now. What surprises me more is your intimate knowledge of skinhead culture. My avatar is from a company in the US that sells merchandise for dogs and I am sure that they are as unaware as I was that this logo has been misappropriated. I am neither a racist nor a white supremacist. I just like the dogs. If you choose to make fun at my expense that is your right but seeing as it is coming from someone that knows nothing about me my family or my life personally I find it quite offensive. The problem with forums such as TV is that insipid, uninspired people get to make comments about people they know nothing about without fear of censure or repercussion. Suffice to say jovial as I may be the response may not be the same were you to make such accusations face to face. Cheers.

My apologies.

I've had a 12 hole Doctor Martin in the face before and don't want one again.

What's the company name?

[mania]

What's with all the hatin', stalkin' and personal vendetta-ing?

Not taking sides here, just intriqued.

My guess is same bunch of old drunks who are basically stuck in unhappy lives.

If you have been around awhile you know VF is one of the truly helpful guys on the forum.

Although having lived here for decades he is not jaded & has many times given helpful advice or warm

greetings to newcomers myself included years ago

He even got a ton of flack back when he was posting beautiful photos of Chiang Rai.

Odd group his detractors

Yet for what ever dysfunctional reason these types have....you note he does not feed their trolling.

Most of them were banned at one time or another & repeatedly reincarnate

as new users to throw more stones. Some have probably created new user accounts just for this thread as they lack the cojones to

say such with their usual forum names.

Sad to watch but one must accept there are such inhabitants here

Best to ignore them

[AYJAYDEE]

and you judged them

I’m sorry I can’t let that go, it is incorrect, although if that is your belief it explains why you responded to me as you have.

I judged no-one, I judged behaviour, expressed my irritation with the behaviour & ‘wondered aloud’ why such behaviour might be so prevalent.

Please don’t post quotes from me which you have altered without at least acknowledging responsibility for the change.

deny it all you like but a persons behaviour is "how they live their lives" and you judged it. the posted quotes show that.

[e2x10]

well thought out.

[Johnniey]

Sorry friend I would like to comment on this subject but no offence your post is far to long and drawn out got about half way through reading it and had to stop

TVF is an excellent forum for general questions help and advice about living and spending time in Thailand, getting to understand the culture and learning from others experiences.

Villageman is a slow learner. He's been on this forum many years but still doesn't understand why expats don't want to mix with others just because of their similar race.

I notice that Nigerians and Cameroonians are the most undivided. Maybe because of their persecution by Thais. Farangs are so blind to tgeir own persecution or in denial - everything about Thailand is wonderful.

[rijb]

Careful, Johnniey. If you don't drink the kool-aid, you will be categorized as an old drunk, with an unhappy life.

[AYJAYDEE]

Sorry friend I would like to comment on this subject but no offence your post is far to long and drawn out got about half way through reading it and had to stop

TVF is an excellent forum for general questions help and advice about living and spending time in Thailand, getting to understand the culture and learning from others experiences.

Villageman is a slow learner. He's been on this forum many years but still doesn't understand why expats don't want to mix with others just because of their similar race.

I notice that Nigerians and Cameroonians are the most undivided. Maybe because of their persecution by Thais. Farangs are so blind to tgeir own persecution or in denial - everything about Thailand is wonderful.

how would hanging out with other farangs alleviate this persecution, fantasized or otherwise?

[Neeranam]

Everybody knows the real reason most upcountry farangs avoid conversation with ones they don't know. They are avoiding that painful question - "so you were working in Buriram when you met Noi? Although the invention of internet dating has made an socially acceptable answer.

[Tongdee]

There are three main reasons I tend to avoid the run of expats here in Bangkok.

1. Too many Brits who want to talk about the U.K. (I've been there but have no interest in U.K. politics, "football", or "how the bloody Asians" are taking away "their country".).
2. I 've been there before, and am not interested in the bar/bargirl/pub scene anymore. ( I am now rapidly approaching 68 years of age, and am not interested in having women half my age or less using the same old come on lines I first heard over 40 years ago when I was in my twenties)
3. And I dislike the implied racist attitude of many expats who seem to refer to all Thais as "them or they" and expats as "us or we".

I am an American by birth, I do no care about poofers in shorts kicking a volleyball around a football field,

And I am a individual, a me, not a member of a group, and I have my own opinions.

So if you as an expat can avoid talking about:

• Politics or "football" in the U.K.
• The bloody "Asians" and how they are ruining "old Blighty".
• Thai bargirls/hookers/ and your exploits with them.
• And you can't stop referring to Thais as "them" and "Farangs" as "us"

If you can do all that, then maybe we can talk about some topic we are both interested in.

Otherwise we have no common interests we can talk about.

I guess that is the "divide" you are talking about?

[AYJAYDEE]

Everybody knows the real reason most upcountry farangs avoid conversation with ones they don't know. They are avoiding that painful question - "so you were working in Buriram when you met Noi? Although the invention of internet dating has made an socially acceptable answer.

unlike their boorish compatriots in big centres, upcountry farang, like their thai neighbours, are far too polite to ask such a question.

[Tongdee]

ima_folung Your post has saved me a lot of typing. Very similar thoughts on the topic. Canadian so hockey is part of what I prefer to avoid.

Common interests= good. red skin, green skin, white, black don't care. If you play classical guitar, violin, viola, cello, any instriment played in a symphony at whatever level,

then we have a common interest. I will be freindly & helpful in any way I can be. That's the "we".

Oh you play guitar---- on to thier favorite rock or blues hero from years gone by.. I am already bored.....

"Oh look a beer bar full of white people swilling beer and watching eyecandy hanging on to a chrome pole: AAAAhhhhh not today

. After a sit at an "expat pub" beside "I do nothing and I am really good at it" drinks a lot of beer & gossips at black belt level, HHHHmmmm am I bored yet.

My scottish wife blah blah blah, the resident foodie spending a kings ransom on every second meal. Harmless enough all of them,

altho people with a superiority complex are seldom that interesting? To someone with similar interests perhaps.

To me I am more lonely sitting amonxt them than I am alone. The odd tidbit of local knowledge, useful but hardly top secret stuff.

I find that I do the things that I do & other people of interest to me are already on the path. We have common interests.

The expectation some folung have of being treated like a long lost friend cause they are white?????????????? No

[Gecko123]

Everybody knows the real reason most upcountry farangs avoid conversation with ones they don't know. They are avoiding that painful question - "so you were working in Buriram when you met Noi? Although the invention of internet dating has made an socially acceptable answer.

Silly and laughably pretentious post. 95% of guys in Thailand - - 99% is probably closer to the truth -- met their Thai girlfriend/wife in a bar or some other "hospitality" venue and everyone - - farangs and Thais alike - - knows it. That's right, you heard what I said.

If anonymously pretending on this forum that this doesn't apply to you makes you feel better, knock yourself out, but you're not fooling anyone.

I really have to chuckle when I hear guys running around claiming 'she was a waitress, a housekeeper, a cashier, a receptionist or the concierge.' Or saying she 'worked at McDonald's, 7-11, the cologne counter at Paragon, or the farmer's market' in order to explain how they met their girlfriend or wife. If you just listened to these guys you might be forgiven for believing a beer bar was the last place on earth a farang might meet a Thai woman. The next time you run into someone spinning one of these yarns, pay attention to their eyes. Usually they're eagerly searching your eyes hoping to find clues that you're buying their story.

People need to get a grip. Your grandmother may politely tell you she believes these cock-and-bull stories, but they just don't fly over here. You're wasting your time trying to concoct these stories. No one believes you, and if you don't realize this, it's high time someone told you the truth!

Repeat after me: 'I fell in love with a bar girl and I'm not ashamed of it!' Now, tell me you don't feel better.

Edited September 11, 2014 by Gecko123

[AYJAYDEE]

Everybody knows the real reason most upcountry farangs avoid conversation with ones they don't know. They are avoiding that painful question - "so you were working in Buriram when you met Noi? Although the invention of internet dating has made an socially acceptable answer.

Silly and laughably pretentious post. 95% of guys in Thailand - - 99% is probably closer to the truth -- met their Thai girlfriend/wife in a bar or some other "hospitality" venue and everyone - - farangs and Thais alike - - knows it. That's right, you heard what I said.

If anonymously pretending on this forum that this doesn't apply to you makes you feel better, knock yourself out, but you're not fooling anyone.

I really have to chuckle when I hear guys running around claiming 'she was a waitress, a housekeeper, a cashier, a receptionist or the concierge.' Or saying she 'worked at McDonald's, 7-11, the cologne counter at Paragon, or the farmer's market' in order to explain how they met their girlfriend or wife. If you just listened to these guys you might be forgiven for believing a beer bar was the last place on earth a farang might meet a Thai woman. The next time you run into someone spinning one of these yarns, pay attention to their eyes. Usually they're eagerly searching your eyes hoping to find clues that you're buying their story.

People need to get a grip. Your grandmother may politely tell you she believes these cock-and-bull stories, but they just don't fly over here. You're wasting your time trying to concoct these stories. No one believes you, and if you don't realize this, it's high time someone told you the truth!

Repeat after me: 'I fell in love with a bar girl and I'm not ashamed of it!' Now, tell me you don't feel better.

unfortunately your numbers are incorrect.