The end of it. Any chance to get my money back?

[MJP]

If you weren't looking for pity you'd find a good lawyer and not broadcast your personal (self-serving) soap opera on Thai Visa.

We all make decisions ... and predictable or at least foreseeable consequences arise from those decisions. Seeking sympathy or advice on Thai Visa is just one more in a succession of poor decisions you've made. If this happened back in Farang Land ... and it happens there with overwhelming frequency ... would you use YouTube or Facebook or the local weekly market newspaper to alert everyone?

To get a good lawyer referral was the goal and I got that.

Other users' opinions, who have been through the similar life experience before, also valuable and I thank those who replied here and through PM.

Comments like this one quoted isn't what I needed or wanted, but I'm not surprised as I've seen this on TV too many times.

+1 The reason I responded to you was exactly because you stated you were only looking for advice and not sympathy.

You're going to take a very big hit, but it doesn't matter old boy. From what I can tell there's no children involved and if so then it's only money. It's aggravation, it represents a lot of hard work, but . . . never mind.

[English 1]

If you weren't looking for pity you'd find a good lawyer and not broadcast your personal (self-serving) soap opera on Thai Visa.

We all make decisions ... and predictable or at least foreseeable consequences arise from those decisions. Seeking sympathy or advice on Thai Visa is just one more in a succession of poor decisions you've made. If this happened back in Farang Land ... and it happens there with overwhelming frequency ... would you use YouTube or Facebook or the local weekly market newspaper to alert everyone?

To get a good lawyer referral was the goal and I got that.

Other users' opinions, who have been through the similar life experience before, also valuable and I thank those who replied here and through PM.

Comments like this one quoted isn't what I needed or wanted, but I'm not surprised as I've seen this on TV too many times.

+1 The reason I responded to you was exactly because you stated you were only looking for advice and not sympathy.

You're going to take a very big hit, but it doesn't matter old boy. From what I can tell there's no children involved and if so then it's only money. It's aggravation, it represents a lot of hard work, but . . . never mind.

[benalibina]

Are there not many posts already on TV regarding the division of assets upon divorce? It seems that irrespective of who owned the funds originally it is always a 50/50 split and I expect that 50% is better than nothing. I would assume that divorce is being considered as any relationship worthy of the name is primarily based on trust.

Is it always a 50/50? It seems like infidelity makes this an exception, no?

Like an other poster stated, get evidence as much as possible.....go for everything, financially, you can get out of it. Get her to worry by time what she will be happy with. Pressure. You need to do same so if 50/50 is at the end acceptable for you, to move on, make that the minimum end goal. I hope your quest is not about revenge because of emotional pain.

Good luck !

[jeff2258]

Yes it is complicated, I mentioned that most of the money was transferred to her gold trading account which is purely on her name and this is the issue, this is why I started this topic.

Sorry if it wasn't clear.

Tell her you want to buy a much bigger house, take her round to see a few.

Then tell her you need the money in her gold account to help buying the new house.

(As you want to have two houses)

She'll soon hand over the cash.

Once you have the cash, any silly excuse to delay buying the new house will do.

So long as it doesn't raise suspicion, my Merkin friend has a good idea.

To win this thing you need to pander to their wants and fears. I used ghosts and superstition at one point.

I thought of telling her to hand over the cash nicely, once I have good evidence (working on it), then I'd just disappear and she can tell her parents whatever she wants and save her face, or else I'd go back and talk to her parents and inform them what sort of woman their daughter is. They may or may not care, I don't know. Her dad and I have a good relationship even though none of us speaks a common language, I think he'd be very disappointed but I don't know if that will make any difference...

What do you think folks?

Don't do that if you can get back what you wanted, not to make her lose face infront of her parents. There is an investment company that can register under her name but you can have the transaction password separately to do any transaction, she will not be aware of it and you can withdraw all the money invested.

I have an account myself that is using Thai id to register but I'm holding the transaction password.

[Derailed]

Don't do that if you can get back what you wanted, not to make her lose face infront of her parents. There is an investment company that can register under her name but you can have the transaction password separately to do any transaction, she will not be aware of it and you can withdraw all the money invested.

I have an account myself that is using Thai id to register but I'm holding the transaction password.

Please tell us more about it. Is it a legal company?

[ozyjon]

Remember this is Thailand,, they will marry you and even have a husband/boyfriend on the side,, you and i are nothing but money to them so do lie and cheat because it's what they did to you and me,, wet her appetite,, darling i want a new house,, the biggest classiest and a new BMW,, take her around show her the new car/house and watch her eyes light up BUT on the other hand, the Thai women are not stupid when it comes to money, they can smell a rat long before we wake up.. My friend tried the same thing only to be told "i am happy here, i don't want to change" now what?

First: Plan A lawyer

Second: Plan B

Lastly good luck from me because i have been there.

[TuskegeeBen]

Get an English speaking Thai Lawyer. And, if you don't care to read the multitude of "you were already told, well in advance of marrying a bar-girl, fool" responses, then you should not have posted to this very public forum, to begin with. Grow up!

Edited September 5, 2014 by TuskegeeBen

[gemguy]

So your cash is in her name. So is the house and Car. <deleted>, I understand the house but for Christ sake my cash is in my own account, as should yours be. Your own dam fault for putting it in her name. There is simply no reason for that. Demand the cash back NOW! Be a man

Yes I know and I did say I didn't need this sort of replies, They're no help.

Well....although some responses will seem a little harsh.....those kinds of responses are a kin to constructive criticism and meant to be kept in mind for the future....you know.... when you fall in love again and throw all caution to the wind and consider opening a joint bank account with another loving, caring, oh so sweet Thai woman that you believe you can trust.

I hope you can get your money back....amiably

Cheers

[MJP]

Get an English speaking Thai Lawyer. And, if you don't care to read the multitude of "you were already told, well in advance of marrying a bar-girl, fool" responses, then you should not have posted to this very public forum, to begin with. Grow up!

Doesn't really add anything does it. Give the guy a break.

[gemguy]

Another One American....

Your comment stating than Ron Crystal is working illegally is a gross insult which could get YOU into trouble legally.

His name is an adopted one as his full name is very difficult for us!

For your information he is a THAI CITIZEN.....not just RESIDENT BUT A CITIZEN!

Wash your mouth out!

You seem to be in awe of the man.

Lawyers are a double edged sword, so to speak.

If a lawyer is destroying you on behalf of a well paying client and using every trick in the book and then some very questionable Thai tricks and maneuvers on top of that, you will not be liking the man at all.

I have had to deal with lawyers several times here in Thailand and most of them are really easy to loathe.

Have not met one yet here in Thailand that I liked or respected.

Everyone of them have dollar signs for eyes and they will milk a case to death and do not care about justice or the out come of your case......all they are interested in is the money...as they charge and charge and keep on charging...and then do nothing to resolve the problem in the end.

Are there some deemed to be good lawyers out there with fair prices and work hard on your behalf to correct a wrong?

Probably there is ..but I have not met one yet.

Just saying

Cheers

[Shurup]

This topic seems to be getting Derailed.

[TuskegeeBen]

Another One American....

Your comment stating than Ron Crystal is working illegally is a gross insult which could get YOU into trouble legally.

His name is an adopted one as his full name is very difficult for us!

For your information he is a THAI CITIZEN.....not just RESIDENT BUT A CITIZEN!

Wash your mouth out!

This forum sir, is a public opinion platform. You really do need to chill-out and lighten it up a bit. Wow! Did you actually bring all those issues with you, across the Pacific Ocean? If so, the too bad you didn't have a chance to take a log, salty bath along the way? You need it,

[TuskegeeBen]

This topic seems to be getting Derailed.

Yes, you're right, but mostly because English_1 (ahem) wants to play dictator "Pappa Bear", with everyone, on this forum. Your point is will made. Thanks

[gemguy]

I think the people that point out how you have to have a plan and be some what sly and not afraid to lie where lying helps you, while twisting the truth, have some very good points to be considered.

In my experience, most of the Thai ( as in not all of them but most of them ) will not hesitate to lie and fabricate stories out of thin air to win their case if and when it involves money....and that includes threats and coercion and strong arm tactics if need be.

The average Thai does not part with money or what they believe to be theirs gracefully at all.

If the woman is fair and without anger and vengeance and settles with you amiably then you can consider yourself fortunate in that respect.

Get what you can and get away or fade away from her is the best advice.

[JacChang]

Erase your surfing history each time you are done with your computer/phone.

Find a way to see if there is an online system for the gold account? Sometimes you could sell the gold online, and then use the same website to transfer the gold account to your savings account. If that is possible, you can do it without her knowing.

[Derailed]

Erase your surfing history each time you are done with your computer/phone.

Find a way to see if there is an online system for the gold account? Sometimes you could sell the gold online, and then use the same website to transfer the gold account to your savings account. If that is possible, you can do it without her knowing.

Great idea and I need to check into it. I know that she'd always rush into the trading company when it's a good time to buy or sell, so maybe no options to do it online. However she doesn't do any banking online so she might not know. Worth checking.

[mrfaroukh]

I advise you to talk to the lawyer on this site only. You may get wrong advise by any of us. To find any prof you should use private investigator they know how to do it. They may just put something on her clothes to record everything etc. As I heard once you are married after divorce probably everything will be divided equally. Now if your record or other stuff you mentioned here help you to get more I am not aware of. Good luck

[jacko45k]

Sounds to me like she is a few steps ahead of you already.... by moving money across to the 'gold trading account', in her name.

Gold has not been a good investment for a while!

Try to squeeze back some money using whatever subterfuge, that should either be to your advantage or trigger changes that will leave you no longer in doubt.

Lawyers fees can add up, you could chew up 0.5 million trying to get back a share of 2.2 million.

If you do go the lawyer route, you should lay claim to the value in the house/ car etc too....... it will all end up as horse-trading.

Sorry your relationship has apparently failed, but be proactive, when she is presented with evidence of her deception, she is unlikely to be complaint and remorseful, more likely to go for the jugular!

[Greg Nixon]

Let this be a lesson for all. Sometimes we serve only as a warning to others.

Do not keep lots of cash in Thailand. Do not invest in Thailand. WHY ? because the place is corrupt from the top down.

I keep the real money in a safe country. I bring in enough cash each month to live well. None of my financial information is in my computer. I give my Thai wife an allowance. My Thai wife must work for her pension.

I have made it plain to her that should I die she will get nothing. I have shown her how much money we will access on a monthly basis over 20 years. Thats LIFE INSURANCE.

She is a vey good woman but why take a chance ? She has enough of her own property to provide security.

[kerrysum]

She'll soon hand over the cash.

Once you have the cash, any silly excuse to delay buying the new house will do.

Nice idea but no need for her to hand over the cash as it would be in her name with a cheque from her account, falang has to sign a paper saying it not his money so could not really be from his account. She would smell a rat I think. Unfortunately most Thai woman are very wary when it come to money.

About as true as it gets, it is a little quirk, been there done that.....

My advice? Get the ducks in a row...... That means all transactions, and as suggested find a good representative.

can bite you in the ass sometimes.... Never let the little head do all the thinking..... Just a thought....

[MobileContent]

Hello

I recommend RON CRYSTAL at AFG Venture Group on Silom Road.

He knows all the ropes and the knots in them!

Good Luck

Allan

I'm not sure someone prepared to work illegally in Thailand would make the best lawyer to have.

His name doesn't sound like a Thai name, and only Thais can be lawyers in Thailand.

He is Thai by the way

[yankee99]

Amazing! My wife has accounts in her name but i have all the online details.

[MobileContent]

First of all I feel for the OP.

I would go for a 50:50 divorce and take half of all assets even if the house is somewhere in Nakhon Nowhere. I am sure your wife will not let go of the cash but with a good lawyer you might get 50% back. The only problem I see is if she starts running up debts as you both will be responsible for it until the day you are official divorced.

If you still have funds left offshore, another option is just walk away from it.

[Derailed]

Amazing! My wife has accounts in her name but i have all the online details.

I'm guessing I put too much trust into her. Live and learn...

[Derailed]

First of all I feel for the OP.

I would go for a 50:50 divorce and take half of all assets even if the house is somewhere in Nakhon Nowhere. I am sure your wife will not let go of the cash but with a good lawyer you might get 50% back. The only problem I see is if she starts running up debts as you both will be responsible for it until the day you are official divorced.

If you still have funds left offshore, another option is just walk away from it.

I've read elsewhere that any and all the debts acquired without consent and knowledge of your partner, stay with you after the divorce.

We didn't sign for any loans or anything else that I'm aware of. I'm debt free always pay for everything in full and will keep it this way.

[tony5150]

^ He has a point.

Yeah but it's on the top of his head. I get why the OP is giving details and asking advice. He's in a foreign country...not farang land. And he would certainly go to friends for advice if he was in farang land. Not everything is so cut and dry here. Isn't this forum for getting advice?...among other things. Or is is only to get jabs from a bunch of old farts with nothing better to do? Edited September 6, 2014 by tony5150

[xylophone]

I feel sorry for you if your wife has been unfaithful or has been misleading you, however this is not necessarily the domain of Thai women alone, although it does seem to happen with a great deal of regularity here.

For what it's worth, I was in a live-in relationship with a Thai lady for 4 to 5 years, when I decided to head out on my own for the single life which I craved again. I had bought the house in conjunction with her, paid out for family illnesses and problems etc, bought her a motorbike and so on, and all with an open heart.

I had used a local lawyer in buying the house and used him again with the "settlement" details and all went very well, and I walked away with the majority of the funds I had put into the relationship, whilst still enabling my ex to benefit to the tune of around 1 million baht, which was fine by me.

What I'm trying to say is that you really need to know where you stand before you act upon any of the suggestions here (some seem as if they would work?) and I second the call for you to sit down with a good lawyer.

As one poster has already mentioned, you need to get the chips stacked on your side, and he/she can help you do this, knowing Thai law as they do. However common sense also comes into it, so the more "chips"/benefits/proof of you providing in the relationship etc etc you have, the more powerful your position.

The worst-case scenario could be that you walk away with 50% of everything, and if this is the proposition put forward by the lawyer, then you would start negotiating with regards to her keeping the house and you having your part paid in cash and so on.

Divorce in any country is never easy as many on here will attest to, however the more you can document with regards to how much you have put into the relationship, the better it will be because you have something to bargain with.

As was suggested early on by others, your starting point is to see a lawyer to see the lay of the land and only then can you start to put a plan into action, any other actions without knowing where you stand may not benefit you at all.

Good luck.

[MJP]

Let this be a lesson for all. Sometimes we serve only as a warning to others.

Do not keep lots of cash in Thailand. Do not invest in Thailand. WHY ? because the place is corrupt from the top down.

I keep the real money in a safe country. I bring in enough cash each month to live well. None of my financial information is in my computer. I give my Thai wife an allowance. My Thai wife must work for her pension.

I have made it plain to her that should I die she will get nothing. I have shown her how much money we will access on a monthly basis over 20 years. Thats LIFE INSURANCE.

She is a vey good woman but why take a chance ? She has enough of her own property to provide security.

Greg is quite right. Unless you have children there that you can't for one reason or another extract to alternative shores, never ever buy land, houses, never hold more than required in a bank account for visa purposes and never ever go all in.

With the exception of your children, everything in Thailand is rented. Everything.

[2unique]

As an aside make sure she doesn't have any evidence of any infidelity on your part...

Can you install a keystoke logger on her computer (or record her with your phone) or simply get her to log in to her account - lock her in the bathroom or vice-versa and transfer the money yourself. Tell her you have a gambling debt and desperate times call for desperate methods therefore you're not asking for permission

[ozsamurai]

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I feel sorry for you if your wife has been unfaithful or has been misleading you, however this is not necessarily the domain of Thai women alone, although it does seem to happen with a great deal of regularity here.

For what it's worth, I was in a live-in relationship with a Thai lady for 4 to 5 years, when I decided to head out on my own for the single life which I craved again. I had bought the house in conjunction with her, paid out for family illnesses and problems etc, bought her a motorbike and so on, and all with an open heart.

I had used a local lawyer in buying the house and used him again with the "settlement" details and all went very well, and I walked away with the majority of the funds I had put into the relationship, whilst still enabling my ex to benefit to the tune of around 1 million baht, which was fine by me.

What I'm trying to say is that you really need to know where you stand before you act upon any of the suggestions here (some seem as if they would work?) and I second the call for you to sit down with a good lawyer.

As one poster has already mentioned, you need to get the chips stacked on your side, and he/she can help you do this, knowing Thai law as they do. However common sense also comes into it, so the more "chips"/benefits/proof of you providing in the relationship etc etc you have, the more powerful your position.

The worst-case scenario could be that you walk away with 50% of everything, and if this is the proposition put forward by the lawyer, then you would start negotiating with regards to her keeping the house and you having your part paid in cash and so on.

Divorce in any country is never easy as many on here will attest to, however the more you can document with regards to how much you have put into the relationship, the better it will be because you have something to bargain with.

As was suggested early on by others, your starting point is to see a lawyer to see the lay of the land and only then can you start to put a plan into action, any other actions without knowing where you stand may not benefit you at all.

Good luck.

4-5 years for 1mill (30k), and you dump her. I think she would have been better without you, don't think you did her any favors.

Oz