Why do Western men marry Thai girls of ill-repute?

[Kabula]

Ill repute?

Who on planet earth isn't guilty of ill repute?

What woman or man does not perform for something of value.

Who doesn't accept a date for something of value?

Thank Buda and God for what you refer to as many children and elderly would starve, even in America today!

If you want to ask questions about ill repute attack Catholic Priests and causes of economic retreats.

They marry Thai women because most are fit, healthy, beautiful, believe in family values, and are polite.

They know how to survive.

If you went without food for 3-4 days, you would know what the subject is all about!

Your topic disgusts me.

You sound like an American that came from a dysfunctional, confused, Puritan, Catholic family.

Thai women do what most have to, to survive and provide for their love ones.

I'm at a loss to understand why most everyone over time has to write about the oldest profession?

Are you that lonely?

Don't you knuckle heads understand the more you write about it and talk about it, they will eventually attack it and make it more restrictive.

Time to wake up!

Edited September 10, 2014 by Kabula

[steven100]

they marry them for sex ....

[SoiBiker]

I'm at a loss to understand why most everyone over time has to write about the oldest profession?

Are you that lonely?

Don't you knuckle heads understand the more you write about it and talk about it, they will eventually attack it and make it more restrictive.

You say that like it would be a bad thing.

[Suradit69]

"Marring [sic] a woman of questionable work history in the West..."

On the other hand why would a woman who hasn't been "marred" want to marry a western sex tourist who has to fly half way 'round the world to find a woman who doesn't scream & run in the opposite direction at the sight of him?

[Thakkar]

These women of "ill repute" may or may not be damsels in distress. The men that marry them may or may not consider themselves gallant knights on a white steed come 'save' them. My guess is there is some element of the latter when the man makes his decision.

I've only known one person who married a former Thai prostitute. After marriage, they did not live in Thailand. They were the same age and, in my view, he was handsomer than she was beautiful. They had three kids, two of whom are adults now. He wasn't rich when they met, but had a decent job. Ten years into the marriage, he was very well off. Then his business went belly up, but she stood by him as they cut their expenses and lifestyle to the bone. They've been married over thirty years, the kids are smart and well-behaved and they clearly still live each other.

I once, when we were both a little drunk, asked him how he came to his decision. He said he wasn't really thinking, but just got lucky; they each found a good person with each convinced the other is better. He added also that the marriage worked because they worked at it.

I think the above is why any marriage works.

T

Edited September 10, 2014 by Thakkar

[natway09]

Because we luv em, thats why!!!

Stop looking down your nose, we are all human beings

[Kabula]

I'm at a loss to understand why most everyone over time has to write about the oldest profession?

Are you that lonely?

Don't you knuckle heads understand the more you write about it and talk about it, they will eventually attack it and make it more restrictive.

You say that like it would be a bad thing.

Without that section of entertainment, it would devastate the Thai economy. It is already very fragile and retreating. The growth of Thailand was built on it. The majority who come here and stay, especially now are seniors who have money and qualify for long stay extensions along with folks with work visas. They are attracted here by the subject and if restricted they would move to other countries where it isn't restricted. History always repeats itself. Marriage numbers are way down worldwide and everyone is more independent and rent everything!

[Kabula]

These women of "ill repute" may or may not be damsels in distress. The men they marry them may or may not consider themselves gallant knights on a white steed come 'save' them. My guess is there is some element of the latter when the man makes his decision.

I've only known one person who married a former Thai prostitute. After marriage, they did not live in Thailand. They were the same age and, in my view, he was handsomer than she was beautiful. They had three kids, two of whom are adults now. He wasn't rich when they met, but had a decent job. Ten years into the marriage, he was very well off. Then his business went belly up, but she stood by him as they cut their expenses and lifestyle to the bone. They've been married over thirty years, the kids are smart and well-behaved and they clearly still live each other.

I once, when we were both a little drunk, asked him how he came to his decision. He said he wasn't really thinking, but just got lucky; they each found a good person with each convinced the other is better. He added also that the marriage worked because they worked at it.

I think the above is why any marriage works.

T

Look at the number of failed marriages worldwide in the last few years. Marriage doesn't work and most fail within two years and divorce is devastating financially for most and for society.

[atyclb]

The old sayings, "Once a bar girl, always a bar girl" and "you can take bar girl out of the bar, but not the bar out of the bar girl" come to mind. Go ahead and marry who you want, but I think the risk of marrying a bargirl is much greater than a girl met in more morally acceptable ways. The risk being if the bargirl wife gets bored, the money runs slow, etc., she knows where to go and what to do. I've met many bargirls who were previously married to a farang and moved overseas with him, only to claim boredom, confinement, money dried up, etc. and they high tailed it back to the LOS and "re-entered the workforce". Of course they leave the bloke AFTER lining their pockets first.

Are there any women who leave a bloke without lining their pockets?

there actually exists (believe it or or not) an astonishing world in which some people marry with comparable socio-economic platforms and may even set forth a pre-nuptial agreement since neither wants to lose what they have worked for.

[Thakkar]

These women of "ill repute" may or may not be damsels in distress. The men they marry them may or may not consider themselves gallant knights on a white steed come 'save' them. My guess is there is some element of the latter when the man makes his decision.

I've only known one person who married a former Thai prostitute. After marriage, they did not live in Thailand. They were the same age and, in my view, he was handsomer than she was beautiful. They had three kids, two of whom are adults now. He wasn't rich when they met, but had a decent job. Ten years into the marriage, he was very well off. Then his business went belly up, but she stood by him as they cut their expenses and lifestyle to the bone. They've been married over thirty years, the kids are smart and well-behaved and they clearly still live each other.

I once, when we were both a little drunk, asked him how he came to his decision. He said he wasn't really thinking, but just got lucky; they each found a good person with each convinced the other is better. He added also that the marriage worked because they worked at it.

I think the above is why any marriage works.

T

Look at the number of failed marriages worldwide in the last few years. Marriage doesn't work and most fail within two years and divorce is devastating financially for most and for society.

Some marriages work, and some don't. Some end in bitter divorce, others in amicable separation and yet others in lifelong partnerships. Some marry and regret it, others never marry and regret it. Some people thank their stars, others curse their luck. Some people are tall and bump their heads a lot.

What's your point?

T

[Thaiready]

They like Porcupines

[atyclb]

A poster said that a girl who worked in a bar would continue that behaviour when she left the bar and married i.e. sleeping with other men whilst the husband is at work. To me that suggests that bar girls are in it for the sex only. My experience here (7 years f/t) is that Thais will seperate work from the personal in a way westerners cannot comprehend. For instance a tourist who barfines a girl then moves on to the next one will be called a butterfly and the girl will be jealous or put out that he didn't come back to her. Yet she does not consider herself in the same way because she is working.That is the seperation.

So when she leaves the bar she leaves the work aspect of sex behind and is probably glad not to have to satisfy other men. So I see no reason that she could not be a loving wife and mother. In fact, given her history she could be even better as she knows what she will have to do if her marriage fails.

I know this is not true of all bargirls and I do realise some are just money grabbers and party animals. But remember the majority would give up the bar in a heartbeat for security and love. Having a boyfriend or husband brings status and happiness in a society of people who don't like to be alone for anything.

while theres a lot of truth in what you say IMO it is not the fact that she is/was a sex worker BUT the very limited intellectual development/ educational background / typically uninteresting personality / common near global ignorance. to be honest, due to education, and culture/society even a high % of mainstream gals have these traits to some degree or another. i have no interest in marrying them either, or marrying anyone for that matter.

[sabaii69]

they marry them because they can

[Jip66]

Why would you hire an engineer to build a bridge if it was his first bridge?

A bridge ... no, that is too far.

A tunnel ... I might poke around a bit ...

I like what you did there lol "A Bridge Too Far" Great classic movie

[roquefort]

One of the things that always seems to be missed when talking about this is: Opportunity. By this I mean the opportunity to meet women at home. When I left the UK the pc aspect of the workplace meant it was virtually impossible to develop a relationship other than a professional one. So a traditional meeting place for couples has been struck off the list. Likewise the pub. With increasing prices, smoking bans and the higher cost of living people went out less making another traditional meeting ground less effective.

Then you have the men who are most likely to be 40+ and divorced. Probably too old to go clubbing. So where on earth are these people going to meet a woman who is a possible mate? Believe me I had a good job, lived in a nice part of London and would consider myself good looking and fit and I had to go to the internet to meet women. There are a lot of men who still think the internet is a bit seedy and won't use it. And if they live in a small town it is even harder.

Then they come to Thailand!!!! Bingo! It is like a mirror image of the life they were leading. Suddenly they are meeting more attractive women than they can cope with. Some are out to get their money but some are just out to get their man, and with it security and a better life. What is not to like about that?

So the girls have used their assets to survive. He who is without sin etc. I am not justifying, celebrating or condoning what they do. But I do accept it. And the situation creates a place where a western man can get an attractive Asian lady and not be lonely anymore. THAT IS A GOOD THING.

I am firmly of the opinion that when you meet someone you judge them by what they do now not what they did before. I know if I was judged in the same way i would be found wanting.

And if every farang who is married to a hiso rich thai-chinese doctor was lined up they would reach from here to the end of my nose.

As Talk Talk said, "Life's what you make it". Look back in anger or look forward in hope.

By far the best post on this topic.

Of course they do it because it benefits both parties and if the man is a good enough judge of character he'll make the right choice...........and it often ends up as a loving relationship.

Unfortunately there are too many sad, desperate farangs in Thailand who are no better at choosing a woman to marry than in making any of their other choices in life.

[TechnikaIII]

"Thai girls of ill-repute" The words of a pious sack of sh*t, who knows nothing of the economic burden so many girls are born into. You have a computer? You have a mobile phone? Look into them and see the components produced by Thais and other Asians, working under slave labour conditions.

The girl who has no choice but to submit to the indignities of sex tourists, to feed her aging parents, and most likely her children being cared for by her parents, is worth more than you. They have an integrity you couldn't touch. Your attitude is sickening. .

[SoiBiker]

I'm at a loss to understand why most everyone over time has to write about the oldest profession?

Are you that lonely?

Don't you knuckle heads understand the more you write about it and talk about it, they will eventually attack it and make it more restrictive.

You say that like it would be a bad thing.

Without that section of entertainment, it would devastate the Thai economy. It is already very fragile and retreating. The growth of Thailand was built on it. The majority who come here and stay, especially now are seniors who have money and qualify for long stay extensions along with folks with work visas. They are attracted here by the subject and if restricted they would move to other countries where it isn't restricted. History always repeats itself. Marriage numbers are way down worldwide and everyone is more independent and rent everything!

You think the Thai economy depends solely on aging farang whoremongers?

Hilarious.

[brewsterbudgen]

I would imagine by the time they marry, their past is behind them and is of no consequence.

Nonsense, they (the losers) would not marry a prostitute from their own countries.

This has to be one of the most clichéd, or just ignorant, comments that is so often thoughtlessly posted in discussions like this. Does anyone seriously believe that if large numbers of relatively poor young girls prostituted themselves in bars and gogos in western countries like they do in places like Pattaya, some of them wouldn't end up forming relationships and possibly marrying their customers?

[slipperylobster]

They can get a sexy babe, and put her up on a pedestal. These sexy babes could have married anyone, but chose the the rowdy red light venue. Plenty of uglier babes would of done the same, but they have to work food stalls and clean rooms. I think they envy what the cuter girls can get just by grunting for ten minutes.

The red light babes are forgiven by the prospective husband who actually believe the salvaged sex worker will truly love and honor them for their rescue attempt. In reality, they are bound to eventually ask this question...

"Where's the beef?"

I suppose a few guys just have a wad of cash and enjoy the shock value of bringing home a sexy, exotic dancer, just for the attention it brings from friends, relatives and the ex-wife.

Up to them....I think a few of these relationships work out.

Edited September 10, 2014 by slipperylobster

[ScottGouker]

When you look past the drinking, dancing , and smiles , Often you will find a caring daughter, and Mother wanting to take care of her family.
Poverty, and a poor education system for many leave them the difficult option of trying to make money in the "City" whether it be Bangkok, Chiang Mai, Pattaya or Patong!
Their dream is to help build a family home, and the false teaching that "Money is what earns respect", coupled with the rampant corruption that most have experienced in their lives, Along with a hardened heart from many a broken promise, makes them a high risk at best.
Some really do want Love and a normal life, the thing is, they don't know what a normal life really is!
Foe Falang, These are the faces they meet at a bar, or in a store, or while staying at a Hotel, and taking advantage of the low cost of a great massage.
Coming to Thailand as a tourist, most "Falang" do not mingle much with Traditional Thai Families, or attend Social functions where meeting a different caste lady would typically occur.
The Ladies of Ill repute, can be quite pure of heart, but they have a difficult time separating love for the sake of a great relationship. and their need for financial support for their family.
Many take to drinking, partly to escape from the harsh reality of their life, and partly because that is how they ear a few extra Baht when working for a bar of Go go club.
along with the night life , comes the drugs, and extortion by the Thai Police...and of course, The Thai Mafia.... (often working together to "protect" the bar owners, and workers.
The Medical "clearance" or certificate is a sham as well. Girls can go to a certified clinic, and there is often no exam, just pay a fee, and get the paperwork, and out the door they go.
Many men are highly flattered when a beautiful lady, pays them attention. It's hard not to have a crush, or fall in love, when that is what you are hearing.
Beware the unwanted Title......
Not good to just become the family ATM!

[ttthailand]

"Thai girls of ill-repute" The words of a pious sack of sh*t, who knows nothing of the economic burden so many girls are born into. You have a computer? You have a mobile phone? Look into them and see the components produced by Thais and other Asians, working under slave labour conditions.

The girl who has no choice but to submit to the indignities of sex tourists, to feed her aging parents, and most likely her children being cared for by her parents, is worth more than you. They have an integrity you couldn't touch. Your attitude is sickening. .

Hahaha... It makes me laugh to read stuff like this. Poor girls have to sell their body to support their family... Bla bla bla. Zzzzz

Why do these girls have 25,000 baht IPhones? Why do these girls have new motorbikes? Why do these girls buy bottles of JW and entertain their friends to look big? Most do not send the money home to mom to take care of the kids... Most of the gogo girls don't have kids. They are in it for the money so don't kid yourself. And don't believe what these girls are telling you.... They lie, that is part of the games and their job.

I don't really care what they or you do but call a spade a spade. Don't put lipstick on a pig and think it is not a pig.

There are some honest girls who are there just like you say because of need but most are there because they want to be not because they have to be.

If they were really saints like you say they would work a few months and save all their money and go back home and open a little business and take care of their family.

Rose color glasses cloud many of mans vision.

[quandow]

I only rent them on an hourly basis. I'm happy, she makes a profit, and business is concluded. "Treat a lady like a whore and a whore like a lady" my momma taught me, and it's worked well for eight years.

[Wat dee]

'Easy' visa for one, I expect.

Why do Thai men marry Thai girls of ill-repute?

Early retirement.

[gandalf12]

Whilst criticizing remember a few things. For many people education is not of a high standard. In Thailand you pay for education not like in many parts of Europe. Further, there is no hand outs if you dont work. Many of the girls who work do it in order to get by not because they would chose it if given a choice. Before you say anything some do I know.

There seems to be a comparison between the girls who work the bars in Thailand and prostitutes in Europe..........there is no comparison. In Europe they can get assistance from the government in South East Asia they cant.

What would you do? Starve, steal or work in a bar? I dont drink or go to bars but I certainly dont look down on them. I know live unlike the cushy West is damn hard if you dont have a job

I guess now all the high and mighty people on TV will have a go at me. Do it I dont care I just say what I know after 30 years in Thailand

[jacksam]

The old sayings, "Once a bar girl, always a bar girl" and "you can take bar girl out of the bar, but not the bar out of the bar girl" come to mind. Go ahead and marry who you want, but I think the risk of marrying a bargirl is much greater than a girl met in more morally acceptable ways. The risk being if the bargirl wife gets bored, the money runs slow, etc., she knows where to go and what to do. I've met many bargirls who were previously married to a farang and moved overseas with him, only to claim boredom, confinement, money dried up, etc. and they high tailed it back to the LOS and "re-entered the workforce". Of course they leave the bloke AFTER lining their pockets first.

As for me, if I ever want to get married again, I'll just find a woman I don't like and give her a house; much more efficient that way. Marriage in most western countries is essentially a license to steal for the ladies, and they know it and play it for all it's worth. And the Thai ladies that move to western countries are very quick learners in this regard. Call me a bit jaded, but pretty realistic for the most part.

Maybe your speaking from past personal experience. All I hear on TV is blokes going on about being ripped off and screwed over. How dumb are they. My gf is a BG and I wouldn't dream of marrying her. That has ZERO to do with her or past work. I wouldn't marry anyone. Why would blokes be that foolish (having kids that's another deal)

Just live with them take good care, travel and enjoy. Don't buy your lady a condo etc its just crazy.

Oh and sadly there are not bar girl members on TV that can tell of stories of being used as cheap companion and sex only to be spat out by the expat farang when another chick takes his fancy

[rayongchelsea]

"Thai girls of ill-repute" The words of a pious sack of sh*t, who knows nothing of the economic burden so many girls are born into. You have a computer? You have a mobile phone? Look into them and see the components produced by Thais and other Asians, working under slave labour conditions.

The girl who has no choice but to submit to the indignities of sex tourists, to feed her aging parents, and most likely her children being cared for by her parents, is worth more than you. They have an integrity you couldn't touch. Your attitude is sickening. .

There have been some silly posts on here but this is just insane.

Hookers integrity no choice!!!!

Go to the Amata industrial park ( chon buri) and see the 1000's of jobs available for women who are basically not lazy and have some self worth.

Go for a drink in soi cowboy in afternoon as they arrive loaded up with iPads, skypeing, arranging on their iPhones..

Thailand will go nowhere in terms of perception until the bar scene is reduced, more discrete..it's a shame as this is the thing Thailand is most known for...if you have daughters sometimes it just horrifies you what people come on here and say.

Having terrible parents is the issue.Allowing their daughters to be treated like chattels..the old farang on the other end is not to blame..

[slipperylobster]

ooooooooohhhh. The guys who think the girls all have hearts of gold...and only have sex to buy milk for babies left with destitute families in Isaan? How convenient and timely your rescue is ~! Fact of the matter....It is darn good money they make selling sex. It becomes a game...a fix (like a drug). People are more colorful when you get away from the farm life. Perhaps picking rice and popping out babies after playing second fiddle to a married Thai man just got old. (Perhaps she got old).

It seems to go something like this....

1. I am sweet sixteen, and cute as all get out. Several men want me as their mia noi already. I got bumped up by the gang down the street, and had to let the folks take care of the kid. The Thai farmer over yonder wants to marry me for 10,000 baht...and mom and dad like the idea.

2. Marriage turned out to be a bore. Deadbeat husband just gets drunk...and my friends from high school are now on facebook with new cars and homes. Guess I will just run down to Pattaya with my Aunt. She says I can make out really good working as a cashier only.

3. Look at all those sexy dancers with six farangs, three cars, and a ton of stupidos sending cash every month. I can get into this.

...Reality.... the golden heart?

[NanLaew]

These girls are looking for an easy way out and for the better of themselves.

Most of the men I know who married such women are not with them anymore. The thing is, if they are willing to marry one of their clients, they are willing to screw him over too, usually once a house has been built.

Most of the mates I know that married 'such women' are still happily married with a couple of family homes and plots of land locally and up country. The kids have grown up and are being educated mostly overseas. In fact, of the exactly 8 parings that I am friends and keep in touch with, only 1 marriage has gone sour and ended in divorce but the guy had mostly done his homework and didn't lose the farm or bits of his anatomy.

I am sorry that the 'men you know' didn't appear to do their homework. Maybe they were fishing in the same shallow pond.

PS. My family are still coping with the social stigma when my sister married an American.

Edited September 10, 2014 by NanLaew

[Grindting]

Would be interesting to read how many prostitutes in the West marry their clients? Could take to the streets of Amsterdam / Vegas and do a survey?

I think in the west for the higher end service providers it is a career choice, as the money is brilliant. For the crackhead street walkers it's another story. In Thailand again it's a whole different ball game for bar girls, another set of scenarios. Although I'll peg the top end Bangkok service providers (not 'bar girls' but escorts to wealthy thais/Asians) could be in the same echelon as their western counterparts in terms of reasons for doing it.

'Bar girls' and their clients get married because the man is lonely and can't find a woman who he's interested in in the west, not young and attractive enough, no women of his tastes are interested in him, and he's probably had a bad experience with western women in the past. The thai Bar girl is accommodating, younger, attractive, interested in him beyond the paycheque (so it appears on the surface). As gets financial stability, which is the reason she was in the bar in the first place. Easy to see why they are a good fit on the surface.

Each to their own

[forumuser10]

edit

Edited September 10, 2014 by forumuser10