Everyone Leers at My Daughter

[umbanda]

The best thing I did for my 2 daughters at 13 was to tell them EVERYTHING about sex...Why?...First because I was 18 long before..and second...I am Brazilian......I have to admit that I was very jealous when at 15 they started talking about their boyfriends, etc, etc,..but that was part of our "agreement"... I wanted to kill all the stupid looking boys they were dating....but restrained myself looking at my own pictures at the same age...

Even with all that "self control" I losted many nights sleep just "imagining".....Thanks God I had a young wife at my side to make me remember all the "good" times we had together when she was 17....We had some problems anyway with them..but my daughters are happily married now....and with their own kids sooner to be in "that" age.......

Conclusion?....NEVER will like to have teenagers to take care again..NEVER...mines or other's....

Being careful enough..it is not enough.....specially in these times.

[Mario2008]

1 post asking for pictures removed.

Such posts are not appreciated in the family and children forum and will be deleted and the poster warned.

[Toscano]

This is one of the problems of mixed marriages . In British colonial times when a British husbands and wives were bringing up children in the far east , daughters were sent back to England at 11 t0 12yrs old to be educated . They would visit their parents maybe once a year in that tropical foreign country . Girls tend to develop too fast in a tropical climate , Eurasian girls are often outstandingly beautiful . I think you should be wary of imprisoning your daughter too much , giving her a complex , paranoia about male attention and safety . It is very important to lead children from the front , keep adolescents happily occupied with interesting activities in which you give a lead , sports for example , volley ball is very popular in Thailand and a tall girl could be useful to a girls team .

[bdenner]

My step daughter of 13 years and now 19yo, also an eye turner, attends a Collage in Udon Thani where they have strict dress codes as such wears a school uniform during the day. The Thais (males) seem to take it in their stride -- it's the, drooling, fat old fart, Farang who give me the shlts.

[BlackJack]

the problem has always been young naive girls confusing being popular with and having power over boys/men

against the boys only really wanting one thing

the more the girl puts out the more popular she is

have a look at face book and some of the kids in competition for getting higher likes

if they fall behind their mates then they make their picks even more provocative

this is nature

how your kid handles it you have no control over

they will find a way

all you can do is teach them right from wrong and then lifes lessons will take care of the rest

[Leung Falang]

Actually, maybe a kind mod could move this to the family forum.

She was wearing a miniskirt over leggings that day which I thought was ok for her age. Maybe her dress should be monitored more.

Sorry Claudius, this ain't Rome.

While many young women think of leggings as pants, they are not, and often are very revealing. Dressing for young girls should be modest and that is no mini skirts or bare midriffs. Lay off the daring outfits and limit makeup. They want to be starlets and try to dress that way as much as you will let them. Men look at the Kardashians and others dressed that way.

[Dublin]

I have a similar problem but never really bothered me until one day my brother said to me maybe everyone thinks she is your GF not your daughter. Now that scared the shit out out me to the point i got paranoid and kept my distance from her when were out alone. My wife mentioned it to her and she thinks its funny to the point she plays up on it now when she see people looking at us, now its getting funny to watch peoples faces as they stare....

Edited October 8, 2014 by Dublin

[Gecko123]

Girls tend to develop too fast in a tropical climate...

Interesting theory. Do you think this might help explain my man-boobs as well?

Edited October 8, 2014 by Gecko123

[Eaglekott]

My daughter is 8. I shall buy a gun in 3 years

Nice for your daughter to have a dad in prison when she is 11...

[RottingCorpse]

I don't like the title of this post.

I've never 'leered' at your daughter. I've never seen the little strumpet.

Get over yourself.....and get a grip mr nam.....

[realenglish1]

Either get used to it or send her to a nuns school

[Strangebrew]

I had same problem but solved it real easy I took pictures of people staring at her most usually ask Why I took picture and I politely reply why were you staring at my daughter? Once they hear the word daughter they say there are sorry and after that just smile and wave.

[kurnell]

My daughter is 8. I shall buy a gun in 3 years

Nice for your daughter to have a dad in prison when she is 11...

Self defense

[The Usual Suspect]

I may be wrong but I am assuming you are a foreigner with a Thai stepdaughter? They are probably not looking at "her" per se, but at the two of you together. Perhaps they think she is your girlfriend their comments are directed more at the disparity in your ages than her physical appearance. The reason I say this is because I recently had two attractive teenage girls in my charge while their parents and my wife attended classes in Bangkok. We all had traveled together for the weekend and I volunteered to take them sightseeing while we waited for the classes to finish. Everywhere we went it seems that people stared at us and made rude comments. I asked the girls about it as they could both speak passable English. They said, "Oh don't pay any attention to them. They think we're your girlfriends." After that I walked at a distance from them far enough away to keep an eye out for them but generally not close enough to look like we were together.

[iamariva1957]

Just a thought, but when I ventured out shopping recently with my pre-teenage sons it occurred to me that the dirty looks we attracted in the mall/arcade were predominantly from 2 week wonders who assumed I was up to no good...

Now this is really the underlining issue with the original post if I may say. Certainly I know how you are feeling. For the World seems to have been fed this idea that Thailand is one big brothel.

I (57 years old) had my daughter (20 years old) come and stay with me a couple of years ago (I teach EMT training and English... with WP) and the looks that we got from both Farangs and the locals were unnerving to say the least. The ones from other travelers were the worst and I was constantly telling them that she was really my daughter! To the locals we would joke and the guys usually just walked away looking forlorn.

This situation if you have children with a Thai must be even more disturbing to you and I am right there with you on that. I certainly would not let the uneducated and mostly myopic travelers get away with it. They need the education! For not everyone here in LOS is here for the sex or the massage parlors, or the Bar Girls!

Moreover, it is about time that the World understands that Thailand is far more than just a place to get laid and that Las Vegas has just as much of a sex trade (if a bit more expensive, but just as easy to find) as does Paris, New York, London, Berlin, Amsterdam, etc... I really cannot stand the looks or the idea that anyone (Farang that is) that are living here are only here for the sex, the ability to find that 'arm candy, or for the ability to feel young again with that 20 something Thai girl/boy (if the latter is your thing). But that seems to be the idea that most come here with. Shame that as this country has so much more to offer and finding that 'special someone' and really falling in love with them and them with you and being happy for as long a time as any of us have on this planet, is just as much of a challenge here as it is anywhere else!

So I am with you on it!

Edited October 8, 2014 by iamariva1957

[maprao]

Unfortunately you are in Thailand.

An older guy with a younger attractive girl. Immediately they think hooker gik mia noi

No one thinks daughter father.

Be thankful you cannot understand what they are saying. Especially those who go out alone with their Thai stepsons or step daughters.You would not be impressed.

Many of you would be in jail if you could understand.

I ensure I take my wife with me then they all just think she is the lucky pro that caught the young handsome one ooh and look he takes care of her kids also lucky girl. Life is all about perception.

[Mario2008]

1 flame post removed.

[KhnomKhnom]

I would look at the girl anytime I see her. Fact of life for fathers for daughters, leering men. Count me in all the time.

[smotherb]

I feel for you. I have always thought a son is less of a problem--in this manner--than a daughter. Every man knows what is in the mind of most every other man or boy when they see a young attractive girl. Things have not changed. You have gotten some good advice; instill in her the values you want for her, watch her and her friends carefully, keep her in contact with cell phone, always know where she is and with whom. Now the hard part, do it without being a tyrant and jailer.

[Irishrogue]

My 19 year old Daughter came to Thailand some time ago on vacation and we were invited to a party. She was late getting ready and came alone as she walked around the corner I along with about 20 ex-pats were sitting outside having a drink and their comments were ribald to say the least. She is 170cms blond with bright blue eyes and was wearing a white mini dress. I mentioned somewhat loudly that she was my Daughter and silence reigned supreme for quite some time. She was thought an intelligent young woman and more than capable of dealing with those type of situations.

I now have a 5 year old Daughter with my Thai wife and cannot go to a Mall or shopping without many people wanting to talk with her and occasionally to try and touch her, which I draw a very clear line at. There is an old Irish saying when you have a Son "you worry about only one D#CK in the street but when you have a Daughter you need to worry about every D#CK in the street" I believe that holds true irrespective of whatever country you choose to reside in. Ido though as a parent have many concerns about her future and can only rely upon teaching her as I had my older Daughters.

[connda]

Well, at least they don't look disgusted. Take it as a compliment and move on.

[choochoo]

Well, at least they don't look disgusted. Take it as a compliment and move on.

Knowing leering boys want to do the NAStie with your daughter is not complimentary.................lol.

To make matters worse some of these boys are 50+ lol.

What does the thai mom think? Proud to have a daughter who is MEGA HOT?

Edited October 8, 2014 by choochoo

[Sheryl]

What you are seeing is what all women go through. And you can ber sure it is much worse when you are not there.

Best to let her mother advise her on how to deal with it, women know.

As for you, suggest you just direct menacing looks at the offenders when it happens in your presence.

[joebrown]

I'm sure everyone has been stared at at some time in their life, whether on a train, in a waitng room etc. It can be off-putting to say the least because there is no way I would ask someone why they are staring at me. In some places this might seem confrontational and even lead to violence.

Many years ago a wise old friend of mine suggested a way of 'countering' someone who continually stares at you for whatever reason. He suggested that instead of staring back into the other person's eyes, I should look then stare very inquisitively at their feet. He said this would distract them and make them wonder what had attracted my attention. Shortly afterwards I was being stared at on a train by a man sat opposite me. I waited a moment and then looked inquisitively at his feet for about 5-10 seconds. This resulted in him quickly looking down at his shoes, and not at me. I've tried this out on many occasions and believe me when I say it works every time!

[Aree Wongwanlee]

Is it possible you are being mistaken for a couple rather than father/daughter and this is why you are garnering so much attention?

This, I think, is the most plausible explanation. The first time I went out shopping with my daughter (she was 16 at that time, me 50) even my regular shop owners gave me the wink. Until I told them to look closely and see whether the girl I was with (my daughter) looked like me. I am no farang, doesn't look like one and my daughter looked perfectly Chinese, like me. So old men with young girls in Thailand are worth observing, it seems.

[Norvabc]

Do the Thai Chinese thing. Daughter's whereabouts must be known at all times, must be accompanied at all times and must be in by a certain time. I am assuming your daughter is look khreung. Thai blokes definitely have a trophy culture surrounding look khreungs, something like Pakistanis in the UK with white women (i.e. for sex not marriage). Here, it is up to the family to protect the girl, no social services, no effective policing, etc.

Same in the UK no social services, no effective policing 1400 molested in Rotherham

I think the best is make sure she dresses appropriately and is not alone outside the house

[choochoo]

Do the Thai Chinese thing. Daughter's whereabouts must be known at all times, must be accompanied at all times and must be in by a certain time. I am assuming your daughter is look khreung. Thai blokes definitely have a trophy culture surrounding look khreungs, something like Pakistanis in the UK with white women (i.e. for sex not marriage). Here, it is up to the family to protect the girl, no social services, no effective policing, etc.

and is not alone outside the house

im no expert in raising young hot girls. But wouldnt this drive the girl away into mens eagerly waiting arms?

the girl would be curious what its like to be with a leerer?

[glcdc]

Opinion you requested: in my experience dealing with hundreds of people with self concious issues i believe people that think others are always looking at them have an unresolved confidence issue. The fact you make it an issue and direct attention towards it makes it a problem, age has nothing to do with it those men loittering outside big c are eye <deleted> every woman that walks by; get over yourself they'd take anything they can get. It is bangkok most culture here is centered around objectifying women...if that is whats really happening maybe consider changing her dress style? Its often not the case as youll find the answer to this problem about confidence and attention within yourself.

Solutions either move to a country women are not recgnized highly or figure out a way to focus your intentions and desires on something of more importance and dont give these men your energy.

Look deep within on this issue and resolve personally what you need to get your mind in the right place..the people are not all looking at her like you believe they never are ... its your mind not them.

[TheWizardofRnR]

It's a sad thing to say , especially when your girls are under-age , or too innocent to tell her that some men

are just ....I could list many terms for guys who leer ! Truth be told , I appreciate seeing certain women and

I am totally crazy about Asian women especially....I have even coveted my neighbors wife , meaning I stared at

their woman , no act until they were finished with their BF or Fiance or Hubbie , Even then sometimes I felt guilty but never did that to a close friend, and still amazes me ,with all the beautiful ladies here : some guys still hit on the wives of married or in a relationship ex-pats & regular tourists.

But the best advise I get on Thai behavior is my Lady of 15 years , that when it comes to Thai Culture ,

she is who many of my friends seek out for this advice your asking for....she has used it when she gets leered at , sometimes cause she is with me , but just for no other reason then she is a woman....there are low-lifes in every culture, she agrees with me on that Her advice if you really want to strike back , and you may not believe it, but Flower says IGNORE them , do not even acknowledge you hear or suspect anything is happening , do not give them what they want out of their useless lives! A reaction by anyone connected to who they are leering at or talking about. They want confrontation , especially if it's a farang , yackin' away at 'em ! Or the woman ,who is the object of their attention , the minute you let them know that you know they are being insulting or are speaking to them in any way......they have won, and unless you bad ass enough to put your family " In Harm's Way" .....just walk away ! You will piss them off allot more Flower says , just pay the scum no mind !

Just act like you got a beautiful Family and keep walking , and the low-lifes got each other ,if there be more then one of them ! Sure , biting your lip sucks , but try it to see how it works.......Remember ,it takes 2 people or more to create an argument ,

The Better Man always chooses maybe not the right path ,but almost certainly the wisest path !

Edited October 8, 2014 by TheWizardofRnR

[jamiesilver]

No different to every father and daughter the world over! Just got to let it go.
Generally when girls in Thailand hot puberty then become very much aware that they are constantly objectified, and will become more withdrawn and moody.