What happens legally when I marry the GF ?

[Emster23]

From what I can infer you have not met her face to face? Would you marry a woman you hadn't spent time with in the states? I hope not. And like other posters have pointed out Thai culture is VERY different regarding roles and expectations from USA. Have you been to Thailand? I do hope it works out for you, but until you live together for a good period of time, you can't really say you know her, let alone love her. And you may have expectations and all that don't please her either.

Do a village marriage if you must, but by all means WAIT to have registered marriage.

"Marry in haste, repent at leisure"

[mbbnyc]

Ok just to clear up some confusion. Since 2008 I have spent a lot of time in Thailand, Cambodia, Laos, & Vietnam. I know a little bit about Thai culture. Not everything but a good chunk. 2nd I DO know this girlfriend. I have spent a lot of time with her in Thailand. In the last 18 months I have been to BKK 8 times. usually for a month or more. She is not a bar girl. She is not a mail order bride, She is an accountant, I was introduced by a Thai friend actually his girlfriend introduced us.

I have heard all the stories, I know what can happen. I am not getting married anytime soon. I was planning on coming to Thailand after 50 BEFORE I met her. I have checked her out, I had a Private Detective check out her work records, background, job, etc. I have had friends check her out. She is divorced because she left him. He was a drunk who hit her and the kid and cheated on her.

I am NOT a moron, I am actually a little edumacated . I was born & raised in New York BEFORE it was a shopping mall.

I am not marrying her anytime soon, I just wanted to know how the law worked over there. So that I have time to consider ALL the facts before I do.

Thank you for all the advice and all the concern.

PS. Not all Thai women are like this. The sort of thing you describe happens all over the world. Abrahamzvi has a point.

[twix38]

if you want to keep her onside and not yet legally marry then just do the Thai Wedding Ceromony, pay a small/reasonable dowry if needbe and buy a ring. That may well be enough for her and her family, so no loss of face and they can show off to the neighbours and you can wed legally at a later date. What's the rush as it's mainly a long distance relationship so far. Once here for a while after 50, then you can register a legal marriage if you feel the same.

Edited October 20, 2014 by twix38

[JacChang]

If you feel like you need protection, then you don't need the marriage. You don't need marriage to certify that you guys love each other. Marriage is nothing than a legal entity that binds your assets together, and if your love isn't beyond those assets, then don't get married in the first place. What's going to stop love from two people being together happily for 50 years? Nothing, then don't get married, you'll be together anyways right? The feeling and commitment is true. If something, then don't get married as well. Marriage is not the answer to prove that you are in love.

[Strangebrew]

Your screwed, period. She then goes out takes huge insurance policy on your butt and you take a header off balcony accidental death case closed. And us here start dating her till money gone. next.

[Alwyn]

Gee...you do "fully love her" and then you post this. How about you fully let her read your post and see whether she fully loves you afterwards.

I guess Aussies are too ruffty-tuffty to do pre-nups with their Sheila's, or scared to ask them maybe!!

[Alwyn]

If you feel like you need protection, then you don't need the marriage. You don't need marriage to certify that you guys love each other. Marriage is nothing than a legal entity that binds your assets together, and if your love isn't beyond those assets, then don't get married in the first place. What's going to stop love from two people being together happily for 50 years? Nothing, then don't get married, you'll be together anyways right? The feeling and commitment is true. If something, then don't get married as well. Marriage is not the answer to prove that you are in love.

why would he not need the marriage if he feels the need for protection? You've heard about pre-nups right?

[Alwyn]

The header was "what happens legally when I get married"? The answer is simple, you're legally married. The laws are very basic and simple, on divorce is usually 50/50 etc. Having said that, the law and reality change when you get brothers who are suddenly high ranking police (but usually the real husband) or the village chief telling you not to come back or you'll be dead. But legally, it's much the same as most places (once you register with your embassy your wife will be covered by US law and can claim half of your US assets. As for people here who are telling you if you need protection you're not in love etc. A lot of people's brains fail to engage when their little head down below get's smitten but people who's brain continues to function will look at the "what if" factor. These are normally the people that have <deleted> all anyway and are probably not even married!

[mrfaroukh]

You become poor, homeless and she become rich and she will live happy rest of her life.

[slipperylobster]

Not to worry. She will get everything here anyway...especially if you move into her neighborhood. Try fighting 2 dozen relatives.

pre-nup or not. You might walk away still breathing, if you do not shake the trees.

That water buffalo behind her dad's house will get more deference than you.

Edited October 20, 2014 by slipperylobster

[ageless1]

I've lost everything twice already, no way I'd risk losing 3 times!! Stay single, friends with benefits is the best!

[Songlaw]

When there is a little drama, there can always be a lot. It can come seemingly out of nowhere. And for your freedom you won't miss your assets.. You will cut off a body part to get the hell out.

You can and should live with her for a trial period to see if marriage is in the cards.

Once you do it, she can and likely will turn on a dime at some point to make your life a living hell.

Listen to this guy. This happens much more frequently than you could possibly imagine. Thailand is a very different place. Their ways are often not even close to our ways. You could find yourself in a situation where you GRATEFULLY sacrifice a body part. Best of luck.

[dutchisaan]

Ok just to clear up some confusion. Since 2008 I have spent a lot of time in Thailand, Cambodia, Laos, & Vietnam. I know a little bit about Thai culture. Not everything but a good chunk. 2nd I DO know this girlfriend. I have spent a lot of time with her in Thailand. In the last 18 months I have been to BKK 8 times. usually for a month or more. She is not a bar girl. She is not a mail order bride, She is an accountant, I was introduced by a Thai friend actually his girlfriend introduced us.

I have heard all the stories, I know what can happen. I am not getting married anytime soon. I was planning on coming to Thailand after 50 BEFORE I met her. I have checked her out, I had a Private Detective check out her work records, background, job, etc. I have had friends check her out. She is divorced because she left him. He was a drunk who hit her and the kid and cheated on her.

I am NOT a moron, I am actually a little edumacated . I was born & raised in New York BEFORE it was a shopping mall.

I am not marrying her anytime soon, I just wanted to know how the law worked over there. So that I have time to consider ALL the facts before I do.

Thank you for all the advice and all the concern.

PS. Not all Thai women are like this. The sort of thing you describe happens all over the world. Abrahamzvi has a point.

Somebody already said this, but for you one more time.

Go live together for some time and than see how everything works out, verry simple.

And please stop your ranting, you post on this form and you get answers. Don't post if you can not deal with it.

By the way, I'm still wondering what your this had to do that you are from New York?

Sent from my iPad using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

[Songlaw]

You appear to be thinking of a retirement visa ; that is certainly the one to go for , that gives you the freedom to come and go when you like and live wherever you want .

I feel you are jumping the gun thinking of marriage and if you have fears of loosing your all , don't bring it to Thailand , only bt800,000 for your visa and pension money to live on . Only shared assets of a marriage count in a divorce , divided in half ; however apart from personal items you are unlikely to get half , so don't invest in what you cannot refuse . Don't fall for a massive dowry of gold and money as marriage terms . Your gf was presumably married before to the father of the girl , so it is not like taking a young virgin from home .

You haven't really lived in Thailand , don't know what life is really like and don't really know you girlfriend that well .

If you are an educated professional man and your gf is working class , you are never going to have much in common beyond the man and woman companionship and physical relationship .

Thailand has its own culture , that doesn't in anyway relate to western culture , even if you speak Thai or she good English , you will not have much to talk about .

My wife is university educated , headteacher of a school , but she knows little or nothing of the outside world or western culture . We have been together nearly eleven years and do love each other and have a warm relationship , but I do most of the looking after and sometimes feel like a walking ATM . Thailand is exotic to visit and the women so pretty to look at . Bargirls are very sexy because the learn what western men like and earn good money by it . My impression is that Thai women are not very passionate in the western sense . Thais don't kiss or touch each other , they may do that to please a western man to begin with , but may revert to Thai custom as time goes on .

My advice , don't feel pressured into marriage , if you are not yet 50yrs , you shouldn't do anything concrete until you are . Don't rush into marriage , better to stay single , independent and live together . If you are bored or things don't work out , you can just walk away with no problems .

Yeah, you're going to want to listen to what this guy says too. This is one of the few situations in life where you want to rely heavily on others' experiences. It is not possible for you to see what lies ahead. Your best guess won't likely be even close. Go slow. Or better yet, don't go at all. There is no reason on earth for you to marry in this instance. You can find ways to survive visa-wise for three years. Then you can (and should) do the retirement visa (actually extension, but that's another thread). You do not want to anchor your stay here to a marriage based visa under any circumstances. I learned this the hard way. Nor do you want to go through the hoops necessary to get one. It is not worth it. And it gives entirely too much leverage to other people, namely your wife and her family. The retirement visa will be your best bet when the time comes. In the meantime, look into an Elite Visa. It costs a bit out of pocket, but it will buy you 5 years of relative hassle free bliss while you sort out your true feelings about Thailand, and your SO. It takes nothing less than 5 years just to scratch the surface of what you will be up against here, culturally. And you really do need to sort out what your family situation is going to be like in real time. Toscano knows what he's talking about.

You will be lonely under any circumstances in Thailand, due to the sense of cultural estrangement that is pervasive among westerners here. But there is nothing more profoundly lonely than being a westerner married to the wrong Thai. And the odds are stacked against this situation as you have described it thus far. It has much better potential to become your worst nightmare, than your wildest dream. If you marry, it should be years, not months, down the road. I don't care how good the situation has been or seems at the moment. This is Thailand. Absolutely nothing is as it seems. Visitors have no chance at understanding this. Even the laws of physics will no longer be recognizable once you trade your guest house for a residence here. And if you think logic and reason are the best tools in your survival kit? Man, are you in for an awakening. Here's my best tip. Assume EVERYTHING you know about life, especially in LOS, is wrong. Then begin your adventure accordingly. And let's not forget. We have no idea where this government is heading.

[hobobo]

My mate and his g/f lived together happily for over 2 and a half years. She hardly ever asked for anything, but he loved to buy her this, pay for that... for her and her family. We thought he was way too generous when we found out the cost of "this and that", but he always said when your love is special, it is above money. Last month she told him they must marry immediately as her daughter got a grant for her Masters at a UK university, and she want to be there with her daughter. He pointed out that he no longer had any assets in the UK, they lived on his pension (better than the Government one, but not by much), and that he couldn't afford to rent a house in the UK for 14 months, pay for the living expenses for 3 of them (the grant was tuition only), etc - he estimated it would cost £30K in one go! Fast forward: she moves out the next day, and tells him that her ex English boyfriend from 3 years back agreed to marry her for the famous "marriage of convenience". So much for love. Amen...

[choochoo]

Detective........hahahahaha. A detective cant get whats in a girls mind. I worry about girls who carry on with LONG DISTANCE relationships. She works and has a kid. Where she get the time? Could op be her last shot?

No offense but i wouldnt touch a beaten woman. Why she choose to marry a beater in the 1st place?

Anyways for the little girl sake-please stay away!

[Liquorice]

choochoo, on 21 Oct 2014 - 06:00, said:

Detective........hahahahaha. A detective cant get whats in a girls mind. I worry about girls who carry on with LONG DISTANCE relationships. She works and has a kid. Where she get the time? Could op be her last shot?

No offense but i wouldnt touch a beaten woman. Why she choose to marry a beater in the 1st place?

Anyways for the little girl sake-please stay away!

So what is the point you're trying to make?

I worked full time and raised 4 kids alone. It's far easier to do that in Asia than it is in the West.

Did your wife know she was marrying an ignorant idiot before she married you?

[choochoo]

choochoo, on 21 Oct 2014 - 06:00, said:

Detective........hahahahaha. A detective cant get whats in a girls mind. I worry about girls who carry on with LONG DISTANCE relationships. She works and has a kid. Where she get the time? Could op be her last shot?

No offense but i wouldnt touch a beaten woman. Why she choose to marry a beater in the 1st place?

Anyways for the little girl sake-please stay away!

So what is the point you're trying to make?

I worked full time and raised 4 kids alone. It's far easier to do that in Asia than it is in the West.

Did your wife know she was marrying an ignorant idiot before she married you?

op doesnt know much about his gf...................lol. He used a pi for gods sake. It is just IMPRUDENT for him to think about marrying her.

Good repecstable thai boys wouldnt touch this girl. Why do a guy 8,000 miles away want to clean up this mess?

Edited October 21, 2014 by choochoo

[Liquorice]

choochoo, on 21 Oct 2014 - 10:23, said:choochoo, on 21 Oct 2014 - 10:23, said:

Faz, on 21 Oct 2014 - 07:27, said:Faz, on 21 Oct 2014 - 07:27, said:

choochoo, on 21 Oct 2014 - 06:00, said:choochoo, on 21 Oct 2014 - 06:00, said:choochoo, on 21 Oct 2014 - 06:00, said:

Detective........hahahahaha. A detective cant get whats in a girls mind. I worry about girls who carry on with LONG DISTANCE relationships. She works and has a kid. Where she get the time? Could op be her last shot?

No offense but i wouldnt touch a beaten woman. Why she choose to marry a beater in the 1st place?

Anyways for the little girl sake-please stay away!

So what is the point you're trying to make?

I worked full time and raised 4 kids alone. It's far easier to do that in Asia than it is in the West.

Did your wife know she was marrying an ignorant idiot before she married you?

op doesnt know much about his gf...................lol. He used a pi for gods sake. It is just IMPRUDENT for him to think about marrying her.

Good repecstable thai boys wouldnt touch this girl. Why do a guy 8,000 miles away want to clean up this mess?

What's wrong with using a PI under his circumstances?

I know a few farangs who live overseas, but have a Thai girlfriend that they think is all honey and roses. They send money regularly, but what they don't know is once they go back home, sweet sugar lips is off to Bangkok working the 'Soi Bars' while leaving the kids with granny.

Nothing wrong with checking the girl out to make sure she's respectable and decent.

Good respectable Thai boys ..................like the one that used to beat her?

Asian women aren't protected the same as in Western society, so a slap or a beating usually goes unpunished by the police in Thailand.

It's a domestic issue as far as their concerned. I'd advise any woman in an abusive or violent relatioship to get the hell away from the guy.

She got herself out of a mess, so what mess is the OP cleaning up?

Good luck to both of them.

Edited October 21, 2014 by Faz

[The manic]

Her guarantee is the Sin Sot - Dowry.

[lcp0761]

Gee...you do "fully love her" and then you post this. How about you fully let her read your post and see whether she fully loves you afterwards.

After being divorced and now remarried (second marriage) to my Thai wife, I have to support the guy with mixed feelings in saying that "nothing is forever and things/people change over time".

My first marriage lasted approx. 22 years, of which the last 6 years I was on travel most of the time. When I was contemplating remarriage, I was second guessing myself if I was doing the right thing (cold feet?).

By just saying he "fully love her" only means he is a realist with two prior attempts and wanting to CYA.

My first marriage was costly so when I was contemplating a second marriage I also ensured I didn't have to work until I was 80-years old.

[surfinglife]

DON'T!!!!!

[TuskegeeBen]

Fools rush in, where wise men NEVER go, but wise western men never FALL in love (especially with Thai baby "girls"), so how are they to know

Edited October 21, 2014 by TuskegeeBen

[TuskegeeBen]

DON'T!!!!!

Quite simply put, but you already know, that most of these expat blokes will delude "themselves' into believing their "gf" is different

Edited October 21, 2014 by TuskegeeBen

[FrankOff]

So, My questions are. Are there pre-nups in Thailand ? How are they looked upon ? If I went without and things did not work out. What would she be entitled too ? in California it's half !! and thats sometimes for starters.

the best 'pre-nup' in your situation is simply to keep Thailand in Thailand and America in America..... no 'green-card' et..no reason to build the bridge to a legal claim of your assets abroad.

K.I.S.S is the buzz-phrase for your best foot forward into this country... and everyone knows the other rule of thumb - "what you put into Thailand stays in Thailand"

Sorry to state the obvious Good Luck

Edited October 22, 2014 by FrankOff

[FrankOff]

My advice , don't feel pressured into marriage , if you are not yet 50yrs , you shouldn't do anything concrete until you are . Don't rush into marriage , better to stay single , independent and live together . If you are bored or things don't work out , you can just walk away with no problems .

...The same can be applied to living arrangements...don't 'buy' only rent, therefore if the environment gets to heavy you can all-ways pack-up and leave.

[jacksam]

Prey tell why do you farang want to marry.

Most of us gave it a shot in farang world.... The OP is 47 and asks this dumb question....I ask you, what is the point? Live with your lovely lady. Take care of her and live in beautiful Thailand. You have been married twice before . Have very little assets by sound of it (thank goddess for the folkes). Oh and your asking about pre-nup.

Here's the best pre-nup...don't marry. Oh what's with the love her dearly.....how long have you actually lived with her?

[HooHaa]

Gee...you do "fully love her" and then you post this. How about you fully let her read your post and see whether she fully loves you afterwards.

Agreed, with 2 previous marriages under his belt HOW DARE he even consider protecting his life savings?

[RandomSand]

All you guys are such one way streets...

If you marry her, and say she's pregnant with your child, then you died in an accident; wouldn't you want her to have some security ?

So to plan it properly; it seems you need to set up a Trust.

Edited November 11, 2014 by RandomSand

[luis888]

Gee...you do "fully love her" and then you post this. How about you fully let her read your post and see whether she fully loves you afterwards.

I think the OP has an absolutly legit post, nothing wrong with this post, but you on the other hand live in la la land, how many people have been ruined by divorce, no one thinks he / she will get divorced but it happens.

Edited March 12, 2015 by luis888