Are Money Boys good husband material for older farang?

[callcharlie2001]

Are Money Boys (escorts or prostitutes) from the Boy Bars in BKK, Pattaya or Phuket in late teens, 20's, young 30's suitable for long term relationships with older farang 50+, 60+ or more, potentially with marriage & moving overseas? Potential problems:

- are they really gay, or are they so poor they are probably "gay for pay"

- are they likely to cheat, either for another farang with more money, or someone younger, maybe in their own culture, that they can relate to

- are they looking for anyone to take them out of Thailand to a more prosperous country (then they might change)

- will their hand be out for money constantly (payoff old loans, medical expenses, vehicle accidents, etc)

Are there better places to meet quality guys who are looking for real romance with farang with intentions for marriage?

Many have told me that they never had gay sex in their hometown with their Thai classmates, nor do they have sex with one another while they are employed at the Boy Bars away from home. Rather, as young boys at home, they fantasied about sex with older western men. I find that to be a strange outlook on future sex partners. Do their sisters also desire to marry older farang men, and use working the girly bars as a means to get to that end?

[ProThaiExpat]

Classic question regardless of sexual orientation. "Pretty Woman" was a great movie about a prostitute who struck it lucky in nabbing a guy who had everything.

As in most generalizations, there are so many variables that the Thai money boy could be a poor boy working in the sex trade who hates it and is just waiting for a good catch to come along. Once found, as the fantasy goes, he is so grateful to his older falang for taking him out of a job he hates that he will love the falang until the end of his days with the hope falang will leave him set up for life when he dies.

How different is that from a large cocktail party when a Doctor enters the room and all the females alert to meeting him as a good catch.

There was a news article this week about how much money Issan economy gets from falang married to Issan girls who go south to find a husband and then returns to Issan to start a family or who continues in the south sending money back every month to family. Many of the girls who send the money back to family work in the sex trade and never meet their sugar daddy.

The bottom line question is: can a smitten falang detect which of the money boys have a good heart and can leave their money grubbing ways and become a true lover from the money boy who just cannot leave his money grubbing ways even after he has found the falang of a thai boy's fantasy?

[arthurwait]

[David48]

Charlie, may I call you Charlie?

Are you asking is they are suitable to marry and find a fulfilling life with you State-side?

Or do you intend to live in Thailand?

Have you done any research into the Visa possibilities?

BTW ... how is the osteoporosis?

Hope things are well.

.

[ATF]

Gay for Pay.

[mrtoad]

The likely hood is that the odds of it being successful are more or less the same as a heterosexual taking a hooker back home.

You pays your money, you takes your chances.

[callcharlie2001]

Are you asking is they are suitable to marry and find a fulfilling life with you State-side?

Or do you intend to live in Thailand?

Have you done any research into the Visa possibilities?

.

I think I'm looking at most of the living being in USA, probably could do yearly month long trips back to Thailand, to help keep him from being totally homesick.

Tourist visa to USA & UK is nearly impossible to get. USA should now have the K1 fiancee visa for 90 days, which should end in marriage or return to Thailand, for the Thai man. I haven't check if an Educational visa to USA would be feasible yet.

[callcharlie2001]

The bottom line question is: can a smitten falang detect which of the money boys have a good heart and can leave their money grubbing ways and become a true lover from the money boy who just cannot leave his money grubbing ways even after he has found the falang of a thai boy's fantasy?

How true.

[saakura]

Are you asking is they are suitable to marry and find a fulfilling life with you State-side?

Or do you intend to live in Thailand?

Have you done any research into the Visa possibilities?

.

I think I'm looking at most of the living being in USA, probably could do yearly month long trips back to Thailand, to help keep him from being totally homesick.

Tourist visa to USA & UK is nearly impossible to get. USA should now have the K1 fiancee visa for 90 days, which should end in marriage or return to Thailand, for the Thai man. I haven't check if an Educational visa to USA would be feasible yet.

Education visa to USA for a boy prostitute fron a pattaya gogo bar?

[David48]

Are you asking is they are suitable to marry and find a fulfilling life with you State-side?

Or do you intend to live in Thailand?

Have you done any research into the Visa possibilities?

.

I think I'm looking at most of the living being in USA, probably could do yearly month long trips back to Thailand, to help keep him from being totally homesick.

Tourist visa to USA & UK is nearly impossible to get. USA should now have the K1 fiancee visa for 90 days, which should end in marriage or return to Thailand, for the Thai man. I haven't check if an Educational visa to USA would be feasible yet.

Charlie, once you have worked out if you have a Visa question, or a relationship question ... that will be a defining moment.

If it's a relationship question, then best left here ... the Gay Club (mentioned with affection) will be by soon to offer advice.

If it's a Visa question, then best moved to the Visa Forum for more targeted advice ... just my take on it.

Good Luck.

[mrtoad]

Are you asking is they are suitable to marry and find a fulfilling life with you State-side?

Or do you intend to live in Thailand?

Have you done any research into the Visa possibilities?

.

I think I'm looking at most of the living being in USA, probably could do yearly month long trips back to Thailand, to help keep him from being totally homesick.

Tourist visa to USA & UK is nearly impossible to get. USA should now have the K1 fiancee visa for 90 days, which should end in marriage or return to Thailand, for the Thai man. I haven't check if an Educational visa to USA would be feasible yet.

Education visa to USA for a boy prostitute fron a pattaya gogo bar?

ED visas are all the rage these days, there's a poster on the forum staying on an ED visa in Thailand who does gay porn videos.

[Gayllips]

Mr. Toad I believe that you are talking about my man ‘J’.

Although ‘J’ does sway towards the male on male scene and attend the type of bars mentioned in the OP, the movie that you are referring to was not a porn movie, it was an adult male on male education film made to teach straight people of how to enter the gay life in Thailand.

Back to the OPs question.

I don’t think that young men are a suitable match for the older man.

My man ‘J’ is 23 years old and he (and his friends) all hate anyone over 50 with a passion.

I think it all stems from when ‘J’ was a young boy and he used to get abused by his Uncle CH.

Since that day ‘J’ has always sworn revenge and has started his own posse called ‘The angry boys club’.

He is also extremely angry that these older men have savings because they actually worked legally and planned for their future.

Anyway, if you want to meet some real talent, slide across to the Telephone Bar in Silom Soi 4.

It is packed to the rafters with some serious hunks.

However, if you spot a young lady who has better dress sense than Coco Channel and the most handsome angry young boy on his arm, move along because that will be me and the angry young man (J) and he will fight to defend my honour.

You can find good young Thai men from the bar scene here but as with bar girls, you never know if you are getting a good one or a bad one.

[siampolee]

Gayllips post # 12.

Mr. Toad I believe that you are talking about my man ‘J’.

Although ‘J’ does sway towards the male on male scene and attend the type of bars mentioned in the OP, the movie that you are referring to was not a porn movie, it was an adult male on male education film made to teach straight people of how to enter the gay life in Thailand.

Back to the OPs question.

I don’t think that young men are a suitable match for the older man.

My man ‘J’ is 23 years old and he (and his friends) all hate anyone over 50 with a passion.

I think it all stems from when ‘J’ was a young boy and he used to get abused by his Uncle CH.

Since that day ‘J’ has always sworn revenge and has started his own posse called ‘The angry boys club’.

He is also extremely angry that these older men have savings because they actually worked legally and planned for their future.

Anyway, if you want to meet some real talent, slide across to the Telephone Bar in Silom Soi 4.

It is packed to the rafters with some serious hunks.

However, if you spot a young lady who has better dress sense than Coco Channel and the most handsome angry young boy on his arm, move along because that will be me and the angry young man (J) and he will fight to defend my honour.

You can find good young Thai men from the bar scene here but as with bar girls, you never know if you are getting a good one or a bad one.

Anyway, if you want to meet some real talent, slide across to the Telephone Bar in Silom Soi 4.

It is packed to the rafters with some serious hunks.

However, if you spot a young lady who has better dress sense than Coco Channel and the most handsome angry young boy on his arm, move along because that will be me and the angry young man (J) and he will fight to defend my honour.

Words fail regarding the love and trust you have for your partner and likewise him for you too.

[robertthebruce]

Lots of nice normal non money orientated Gay Thai Guys going around...

Just seek and you will find...

All the best with your quest.

[callcharlie2001]

Are you asking is they are suitable to marry and find a fulfilling life with you State-side?

Or do you intend to live in Thailand?

Have you done any research into the Visa possibilities?

.

I think I'm looking at most of the living being in USA, probably could do yearly month long trips back to Thailand, to help keep him from being totally homesick.

Tourist visa to USA & UK is nearly impossible to get. USA should now have the K1 fiancee visa for 90 days, which should end in marriage or return to Thailand, for the Thai man. I haven't check if an Educational visa to USA would be feasible yet.

Education visa to USA for a boy prostitute fron a pattaya gogo bar?

ED visas are all the rage these days, there's a poster on the forum staying on an ED visa in Thailand who does gay porn videos.

I was thinking of a possible Ed Visa for a quality romantic Thai guy to come to USA, presumably to study American English & Western Culture, and too see how good of a couple we are, prior to marriage but for a longer period of time than 90 days. For this discussion, I was not considering any Visa needs for me. As I have difficulty learning western foreign languages, and did poorly in a month long Thai course, I expect to need his help for me to learn Thai.

[callcharlie2001]

Mr. Toad I believe that you are talking about my man ‘J’.

Although ‘J’ does sway towards the male on male scene and attend the type of bars mentioned in the OP, the movie that you are referring to was not a porn movie, it was an adult male on male education film made to teach straight people of how to enter the gay life in Thailand.

Why would straight Thai guys need a video on how to enter the gay life?? Is there a need (or a market) to teach straight guys how to be "gay for pay"?

I've been to Telephone bar, wasn't that impressed with the crowd, mostly farang or couples I thought.

[Scott]

Many years ago, when I first moved to Thailand, I stayed in an apartment that belonged to the owner/manager of a gay bar in Saphan Kwai. I had to find a place to stay as I was leaving my job in HK on Friday and starting a new one in BKK on Monday. A friend who knew the owner of the bar made the arrangements for me to have a place.

During the time that I was there, I got to know a large number of the bar boys. Most drifted in and out of the bar scene, but there were a handful of them that I have had contact with over the 20+ years that I've been here. I would guess that about 75% of them were gay, or gay-leaning bisexual. About 25% were pretty much straight (this is just a guess).

A handful of them managed to find a partner and settle down. I know two that have been in long-term relationship with western men and seem to be content. They have traveled to the Westerner's home country, but they still reside in Thailand.

Another group of maybe 6 - 10 have been in relationships with Thai partners. Those relationships have been a little less stable.

The first thing to remember is that a money boy is a money boy and he works for money. I would tend to say they are less 'tainted' than the ladies that work in the bars, but they are still selling sex.

I would be very, very hesitant to try and take one to the US. I doubt very much they would get a visa. The Consul officers can pick up on stuff like that pretty quickly.

[Gayllips]

Mr. Toad I believe that you are talking about my man ‘J’.

Although ‘J’ does sway towards the male on male scene and attend the type of bars mentioned in the OP, the movie that you are referring to was not a porn movie, it was an adult male on male education film made to teach straight people of how to enter the gay life in Thailand.

Why would straight Thai guys need a video on how to enter the gay life?? Is there a need (or a market) to teach straight guys how to be "gay for pay"?

I've been to Telephone bar, wasn't that impressed with the crowd, mostly farang or couples I thought.

OK, you’ve got me there, it was a gay porn movie but ‘J’ gets so angry when it is called that.

When we made that movie ‘J’ had lost a lot on a poker game and after making the movie he told me that it made him feel cheap.

Mr. Toad keeps teasing ‘J’ about the film and that just makes him angrier, which is why I am trying to defend my man’s honour.

[mrtoad]

Mr. Toad I believe that you are talking about my man J.

Although J does sway towards the male on male scene and attend the type of bars mentioned in the OP, the movie that you are referring to was not a porn movie, it was an adult male on male education film made to teach straight people of how to enter the gay life in Thailand.

Why would straight Thai guys need a video on how to enter the gay life?? Is there a need (or a market) to teach straight guys how to be "gay for pay"?

I've been to Telephone bar, wasn't that impressed with the crowd, mostly farang or couples I thought.

OP, I think some of the advice is the same be it for straight or gay, there are good and bad pay for play in both. Of course the chances of finding a decent partner in any red light area is going to be risky, and that is not to deem all sex workers with the same brush. There are certainly some decent people working in the industry, through various reasons. There are though plenty of wrong uns.

Anyway, wish you all the best, and don't listen to Gayllips I'm not trying to tease his lover, whoever he is.

[isanbirder]

Many years ago, when I first moved to Thailand, I stayed in an apartment that belonged to the owner/manager of a gay bar in Saphan Kwai. I had to find a place to stay as I was leaving my job in HK on Friday and starting a new one in BKK on Monday. A friend who knew the owner of the bar made the arrangements for me to have a place.

During the time that I was there, I got to know a large number of the bar boys. Most drifted in and out of the bar scene, but there were a handful of them that I have had contact with over the 20+ years that I've been here. I would guess that about 75% of them were gay, or gay-leaning bisexual. About 25% were pretty much straight (this is just a guess).

A handful of them managed to find a partner and settle down. I know two that have been in long-term relationship with western men and seem to be content. They have traveled to the Westerner's home country, but they still reside in Thailand.

Another group of maybe 6 - 10 have been in relationships with Thai partners. Those relationships have been a little less stable.

The first thing to remember is that a money boy is a money boy and he works for money. I would tend to say they are less 'tainted' than the ladies that work in the bars, but they are still selling sex.

I would be very, very hesitant to try and take one to the US. I doubt very much they would get a visa. The Consul officers can pick up on stuff like that pretty quickly.

Some bar boys can be genuinely nice, some aren't. They're just individuals, and cannot be judged entirely by their trade.

Most of them are not well educated, and would find it difficult to fit in in a Western society.

Hell, OP, why are we giving you advice? Find a good guy first.... and then ask the questions.

[Apiwan2]

TBH . I think your gonna get fleeced by anyone boy or girl in the sex for money game.

More so in the gay community.

Look around .why do most ladyboys speak perfect English and are caked up ?

What's wrong with meeting someone outside of the sex for money industry?

A thai man wouldnt go to kings cross ( London ) find a smack head 20 pound a go tart.

Then think .I wonder if she loves me.?

Will she fit in in my country ?

[Chairman Of The Board]

TBH . I think your gonna get fleeced by anyone boy or girl in the sex for money game.

More so in the gay community.

Look around .why do most ladyboys speak perfect English and are caked up ?

What's wrong with meeting someone outside of the sex for money industry?

A thai man wouldnt go to kings cross ( London ) find a smack head 20 pound a go tart.

Then think .I wonder if she loves me.?

Will she fit in in my country ?

Good post Apiwan and very well put.

They should post you at the Immigration desk at BKK warning newcomers of the pitfalls of a holiday romance in Soi 6, Patters.

[thaicurious]

Many have told me that they never had gay sex in their hometown with their Thai classmates, nor do they have sex with one another while they are employed at the Boy Bars away from home. Rather, as young boys at home, they fantasied about sex with older western men. I find that to be a strange outlook on future sex partners. Do their sisters also desire to marry older farang men, and use working the girly bars as a means to get to that end?

Just curious. Is that the main thrust of your concern? Is your thinking that if you were to find a suitable life partner who is Thai, that you'd increase your chances or make your search easier by concentrating where you think guys might be shopping for a Western husband?

[jdinasia]

Classic question regardless of sexual orientation. "Pretty Woman" was a great movie about a prostitute who struck it lucky in nabbing a guy who had everything.

As in most generalizations, there are so many variables that the Thai money boy could be a poor boy working in the sex trade who hates it and is just waiting for a good catch to come along. Once found, as the fantasy goes, he is so grateful to his older falang for taking him out of a job he hates that he will love the falang until the end of his days with the hope falang will leave him set up for life when he dies.

How different is that from a large cocktail party when a Doctor enters the room and all the females alert to meeting him as a good catch.

There was a news article this week about how much money Issan economy gets from falang married to Issan girls who go south to find a husband and then returns to Issan to start a family or who continues in the south sending money back every month to family. Many of the girls who send the money back to family work in the sex trade and never meet their sugar daddy.

The bottom line question is: can a smitten falang detect which of the money boys have a good heart and can leave their money grubbing ways and become a true lover from the money boy who just cannot leave his money grubbing ways even after he has found the falang of a thai boy's fantasy?

One thing is patently true.

Hookers are hookers. Gender is irrelevant.

[ironbark]

The answer is simple, there is no answer.

There are boys out there that fit every description and I think I have met all of them.

There are genuinely nice boys who would really like to have good LTR with and older farang and many who would just see you as a walking wallet to be scammed.

I spend most of my time/money with the commercial trade because it saves energy and misunderstandings. I have met some really lovely boys who made no secret of their desire for a LOTR but so far I have rejected all overtures. The reason I think has more to do with me and my preferences rather than theirs.

Edited October 25, 2014 by ironbark

[callcharlie2001]

I spend most of my time/money with the commercial trade because it saves energy and misunderstandings. I have met some really lovely boys who made no secret of their desire for a LOTR ...

"Commercial trade"?

LOTR?

[Searat7]

Even if you find a moneyboy who you think really likes you, are you going to have enough in common to build a lasting relationship ? If they are not educated I think you are going to have a problem.

One issue you need to deal with up front is family support...if he is sending money from his salary, fine but he should not expect you to take care of his family even though you may pay for much of his expenses.

The money boys with foreign boyfriends can act very single when they are back here alone. I seriously dated a great guy, ( no moneyboy, but no job either ) made him get a job and provided some start up money before going to USA for visit. One month later he was living with another guy.

Find someone who can love you and not your bank account....don't be in a big hurry to bring him to USA,..see how things play out here first

[ironbark]

I spend most of my time/money with the commercial trade because it saves energy and misunderstandings. I have met some really lovely boys who made no secret of their desire for a LOTR ...

"Commercial trade"?

LOTR?

commercial trade = rent boys.. gay for pay..... massage parlours..... host boy.... gogo bar boy ... prostitutes etc

LOTR ..... long term relationship.

[Scott]

The biggest problem will be the language barrier. As someone mentioned, a lot of the boys are poor and most have poor English and low education.

[jdinasia]

The biggest problem will be the language barrier. As someone mentioned, a lot of the boys are poor and most have poor English and low education.

It is not that simple (IMHO)

There's the old saw about guys who do speak English. ( professional boyfriends etc)

I lucked out, but it wasn't all just luck. My husband was a few years into his career when we met. He was already fluent in English.

He met my basic requirements. Employed (real job)

Educated

Smart

Funny

Cute (my type of cute)

Over 24 I was not yet 40...

If you avoid Pattaya, Patpong, Patong.. Your chance of getting a keeper dramatically increases.

Edited October 26, 2014 by jdinasia