Am I Cheap

[Mig15]

You have to remember that any woman who has to resort to working in a bar is most likely unable to manage money very well. It comes in and then it goes out to her kids, family or to spend on gold. You have to think about you finances and what you can afforded. Don’t be pressured by the “cheap Charlie,” calls. I have had two relationships with Thai women – one a marriage. Both failed because they would not let me manage the money. That is to say they wanted to spend more money than we had coming in. If your GF wants more tell her to get a job. She may not like it because she prefers to stay at home and watch TV all day. Just remember if it does not work financially it doesn’t work at all.

[Guest chingy]

iam 26 she is 30, is age a factor

Go back home, get a real GF, go back to school get those degree, forget about Thailand and the girl, life is much nice at home.

[NedKelly]

Yeah you are a tight bastard. The main questionis what is your plan. If you want to use her until you are ready to move on, then pay her a decent wage becauyse that is basically allyou are doing........employing her ! Or if you indeed wish to marry and settle down with this special one then you both have to work out what it is about money.

Basically the first thought anyone will have when they know she is a bar girl, is .......she is only in it for the money. No mon no fun honey ! She will find a more lucrative thing. Her need is to support her family. If you cannot then sdhe will find a way to do it. Love is not a factor......ruthless rational need is !!

[philmac]

Thanks for all the comments and advice, i'll try to find some inexspensive ways to releive some of the boardom for her,

i'm not poor, i have quite a healthy bank account but i can stay longer if i spread it out,

I only go drinking twice a month cus i like to stay healthy, dont want that fat beer gut!

I know 100b is not a lot, but you should see how much she eats a day, now she knows how to be ecomomical (spelt wrong im thick)

You minght laugh at this, i live on the 4th floor and as i type i can see her half way up the mango tree out back, whaking em down with a stick,

Our apartment is out of town and quite nice, one bedroom, kitchen, b.r, full cooking we eat o.k,

Its live like this or go back to old fat germans, as they say up to her,,

iam 26 she is 30, is age a factor???

Winle has revealed himself as a caring, sensitive individual who has no hestitation in putting others before himself. I'm surprised girls don't pay him 100 baht a day just for the privilege of being near him.

What a guy!

We have also worked out why his GF doesn't work. She's too busy clambering up mango trees to supplement her diet of bananas

[fatter than harry]

Love is not a factor......ruthless rational need is !!

There you go, we can quit all the lovey dovey questions on this forum, Ned's just summed it all up for ya!

Can I put that on a T-shirt?!

We have also worked out why his GF doesn't work. She's too busy clambering up mango trees to supplement her diet of bananas

I think she's putting up a sign saying "Fat German required, apply within"

[Dancali]

I said some parts were pretty cheap but at least good for him for not being a walking atm since I think this too is not a healthy way to have a real relationship.

Somebody picked up from this that I'm a cheap skate. But I'd just say I'm economically rational.

Anyway, my girlfriend actually has it pretty good. And I'm wondering how others treat their girlfriends. Do you pass out 2000 baht every day and say have fun?

[winle]

Just to note, i think another benifit from living like this is to she if she really likes me, if she stays through the hard times, i know its for me not cash, and i know to treat her well and trust her when times get good, agreed??

[Doi Thong]

I dont understand why you live in Thailand? You stay with 30 years old woman that you need to give her money(in this age they should pay you man),going out twice a month, etc. Dont you think you can do it in your country also? What the point to be in Thailand then? Maybe I donno your plans/limits but I'm 27 years old and have pretty good life here without paying money to "ex bar girls" and being called "cheap charlie" or whatever. Kick her ass,and find some 19 years old gorgeous student,that will worship you. CHANGE YOUR STARS MAN.

[MinutePigglet]

A Thai "girlfriend" will never leave you just for being cheap (unless someone else comes along). Then again, she might fornicate around on him with you, and she might moan, groan, and belly-ache, and she might do a little moonlighting; but she won't dump you till you're broke. And, THAT's the bottom line.

BTW: cheap is all in the perception. Hers is different than yours, and you'll both have to live with that or not...

UP TO YOU!

M. Pigglet

[elsie]

A Thai "girlfriend" will never leave you just for being cheap (unless someone else comes along). Then again, she might fornicate around on him with you, and she might moan, groan, and belly-ache, and she might do a little moonlighting; but she won't dump you till you're broke. And, THAT's the bottom line.

BTW: cheap is all in the perception. Hers is different than yours, and you'll both have to live with that or not...

UP TO YOU!

M. Pigglet

Are you seriously referring to all "Thai girlfriends"? Really? Seriously?

[MinutePigglet]

Yep!

Well, except those that wash between their toes real good.

[elsie]

Hmm... Well, I am one of the "Thai girlfriends". Never scammed any boyfriends of mine to get all his money, and dumped him when he was broke. Wanna check my fingers and toes?

[davethailand]

if he does'nt, can i

[britmaveric]

LovelyCutie- well good to hear their are more good thai women out there, and not interested only in a walking ATM!

[Doi Thong]

Lovely,you're very dufferent kind of "Thai GF",the fact that you can read,understand and post here,makes you unqualified for this "issue".

Too educated and smart baby....bachelor or master degree?

[britmaveric]

Besides the other sort of TG (Bar Girl) wouldn't know what a computer is and definitely wouldn't be posting here!

[Felt 35]

Winle you are not a Cheap Charlie, but you are absolutely living the way many local people at your age do in Thailand.

Two Thai friends of me, married, a baby on the way, she 25, university degree work and make around 10k a month, he 27 university degree, make about 15K.

Apartment 4500, monthly payment on car 12K, electricity, water, food, etc?

Probably not much more than bananas in the fridge there either!

Can you manage it, well why not?

[Yohan]

I do not think, Winle is a cheap Charlie....

He pays a fair market price for his bar-girl.....

The girl is 30 years old, nothing working, gets free food and free accomodation, sometimes going out, motorcycle, about baht 3000 pocket-money, some money for phone-calls......

I think, maybe you should go out 4 times a month, baht 1000,- each time, this is better than baht 1500,- for 2 times only per month, and maybe, if your girl is really nice, give her baht 500,- bonus at the end of the month.

If the girl complains... ok, let her complain... no need to listen at all....

If she really does not like her situation, and wants to go, then let her go!

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Let me explain, how a Thai friend of us is living, who is not a bargirl. She is 27 years old, living in Bangkok Noi, father died, mother seriously ill, working 6 days a week as book-keeper in a small factory since many years. Her mother is living with her in the same room, as she needs her daughter to take care of her. She can never go out for a longer while, and has to do homework alone (like a professional nurse) after her working hours.

Salary Baht 18.000,- (this is not bad at all by Thai standards)

Rent and some utilities: Baht 8000,-

Medical fees/some special food for mother:Baht 4000,-

Her own food, some small daily things, some clothings, some very little fun Baht 5000,- (internet cafe and cinema with her girl-friends)

Savings per month 1000,- for emergency

She is always looking happy, must work hard for her daily life, has to support her bedridden mother since years, and really likes to find a husband, who will share with her, but who will accept her and her mother and provide a better housing? She is too poor to buy her own accomodation.

Ask her about a dowry - she will just laugh....anything will do for her and her mother....and she will continue to work even after marriage... this girl will NEVER ask you for money, and she will NEVER sleep with you because of your money.....

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We know also another girl, near Ladprao, she is looking so lovely (already 35) and her girl 5 years is so cute - when she told us her story, we had problems to believe that - the girl has a terrible past of severe mistreatment (I would call this long-term torture and rape) and looks always somewhat afraid and sad. But the employees in the company helping her and the child a lot. - Yes, not all Thai men are nice with their wives, and not even the own relatives will help, and just look away.

Husband, if anybody accepts her, must be European/American white foreigner, older man is very ok, and must accept both, wife and daughter - both require patience and kindness. The man cannot expect a sexy open girl, but this girl will never leave you, and never look after any other man, if you care about her and love her child.

Her salary is baht 13000,-, but she owns her own room.

She wants continue to work, even if she can find any partner for marriage and she will never expect any money from a man for her own little private needs.

She spends about baht 8000,- per month for all and everything and is saving baht 2000,- , the remaining baht 3000,- are gone every month to repay debits and damages made by her former crazy and brutal husband. She is legally divorced.

I asked her about dowry and the only reply was an open mouth - totally speechless. Then she told me, some Thai men said about her, that she is nothing else, but a worthless and used item.....

--------

Believe me, there are Thai girls, who have a very nice character, who are never selfish, who will never cheat or leave you, who will never bother you for dowry for marriage, and who will NEVER sleep with a man, just because they are poor, but do not want to work and prefer a lazy life with some pocket-money in return for some sex.

Johann

[davethailand]

I do not think, Winle is a cheap Charlie....

He pays a fair market price for his bar-girl.....

and maybe, if your girl is really nice, give her baht 500,- bonus at the end of the month.

If the girl complains... ok, let her complain... no need to listen at all....

---------

yohan

you pay the market price!

whats the bonus for?, doing a good job of running around after you and obeying your every command.

i know girls who don't like being treated like cattle and they openly discuss things with me and even how sometimes they've had enough and taken some money to enable themselves to start again with rooms etc,

some farangs i've met who treat the girls like this and think it's fair deserve a bit of payback. som nam na

britmaverick

i know bar girls as friends and i've had bar girls employed by myself in my bar, you would be surprised how they can use a pc and how educated they are

not all of them have the chance to work in factorys etc as they've got family's to look after and the pay is'nt enough.

before i get fired down i also know girls who are f***ing machines and admit it, they live well and provide their families well and they happen to be nice people also.

[britmaveric]

DaveThailand- I'm sure you'll find educated bar girls, but the ones I've chatted to are clueless unless it comes to the THB. "What Computer?" "Where England?" God bless their hearts. Course this could be part of their game. I'll give anyone the benefit of the doubt, and I know there are genuine BG(s) and they work to support family in best way possible.

BTW you run a bar? Which one if you don't mind me asking and location?

[englishoak]

Not realy a cheap charlie as she is supported, period ! No kids etc !

Where do single people get the idea that it's their right to have someone support them ? Men or women it's the same. If you don't work and someone gives you a handout say thank you, not "is that all" jeez !

If she dosn't like it mabe she should get a small job selling friut or street vendor or maid etc ....... naaaa didn't think so !

There are plenty of Thai women out there who would be very very happy. If she dosn't like it on " the cheap" then beware as things will probably get worse !

[dutch]

Yohan,

I like your message, but that is no surprise after visiting your website.

You do have a fair and balanced judgement.

I agree with you.The salary between 10.000 and 20.000 is quite normal.

Also the behavior about taking care and be loyal sounds very familar.

These are the people that you will meet and like if you go outside the tourist areas.

[Yohan]

I do not think, Winle is a cheap Charlie....

He pays a fair market price for his bar-girl.....

and maybe, if your girl is really nice, give her baht 500,- bonus at the end of the month.

If the girl complains... ok, let her complain... no need to listen at all....

---------

yohan

you pay the market price!

whats the bonus for?, doing a good job of running around after you and obeying your every command.

If you an employee, and your boss telling you, do this or that, then you have to do your job, you are paid for. And if there is some success in business, usually as an employee, you will receive some bonus pay.

In this sense I do not see any difference between an ordinary employee (man or woman) and a bar-girl, who is paid by her customer.

If my boss finds somebody, who is doing my job better and cheaper than I, then he will dismiss me, and employ somebody else.....

And of course every employee is calling his/her employer a cheap charlie.....

----------

I gave you 2 examples, of 2 real Thai women, out of many women in a similar situation of the daily life in Thailand, both of them my wife and I know personally in Bangkok. They will all do, what their boss is telling them, they work very hard for their family member, who depends on their help, they have neither time nor money for fun at all, they cannot sit around all day doing nothing or they will be dismissed.....They like to get some bonus pay from their employers....

and they both call their employers a cheap charlie, who makes profit out of their work..... yes, salary should be (a little bit) higher......

The only difference I see, compared to the *employment* of this bar-girl, is the fact that these 2 ladies will NEVER offer any sexual services against pay.....

No way by offering money to strip them off their panty and get them nud_e except for marriage (or MAYBE violent rape, but expect any possible resistance in that case!) .....

They prefer to accept a long bus-ride for over one hour through the crowded street of Bangkok to reach their place they are working, then working at least 8 hours per day in an ordinary company, and after coming home they have to look after the family member, who are depending solely on them, then some small shopping and a shower and then quickly to sleep, as tomorrow morning it is a working day again .....

-------

Some rather weak foreign men, feminists and such groups of people are writing here stories, like if all bar-girls are forced brutally into that kind of sex-labour. There are such criminal cases.

Often such sad cases of misuse are minors, or other Asian boys and girls, who are not Thai, but from neighbouring countries......

This is true!

However many bar-girls are 20+, have their Thai ID, and are doing that by their own will and nobody forcing them into that kind of job. They are totally free to leave anytime and to try out any other source of how to earn some money for their daily life. But very few of them are even willing to try.

This is also true!

Johann

[elsie]

if he does'nt, can i

Lemme check.. Hmm.. they're clean. So, OK you can!

LovelyCutie- well good to hear their are more good thai women out there, and not interested only in a walking ATM! 

And I also felt good that at least I've got the chance to speak my mind around here. I've never had a walking ATM. Feel weird only thinking about it.

Lovely,you're very dufferent kind of "Thai GF",the fact that you can read,understand and post here,makes you unqualified for this "issue".

Too educated and smart baby....bachelor or master degree?

Thank you ka. Very nice of you to say that. The answer is Bachelor's degree ka.

[winle]

Now im not sure what to do, more advice needed, i have spoken to her alot about my/our situation, also explaind about this forum and what some of the members are saying, she has now voluntered to get a job in the resturant she use to work before she went to the bar, problem is it's for 8 hours at night, now im paranoid she fall into the old life style, should i let her work again or not??? not really sure what to do??

It would bring in 4500b p.m plus tips mabey an extra 1000 or so??

[lopburi3]

It would bring in 4500b p.m plus tips mabey an extra 1000 or so??

This would get her up to level of most maids. Housing/food/salary. If you were going to marry her it would be another ball game and you both could be expected to live within your means; but for a hired wife to earn less than a maid is not reasonable.

[davethailand]

yohan

i agree with your last post, but the reason i commented on the bonus is that in the original post winle was talking about his girlfriend, ok she worked in a bar before but after 6 months with him i suppose you could call her girlfriend.

britmaveric

if we are talking about the scamming side of things then agreed, they are so good at acting dumb.

[Dancali]

Man, you're gonna send her out for 8 hours a night to pull in less than 6,000 a month? You must be able to find some sort of better situation than this. You said yourself that you have quite a bit in the bank and you're just trying to extend things. Why not loosen the purse strings a bit? Or figure out a way that you could work a bit more to make you more comfortable with shelling out a few more bucks. Life is too short to be too stingy. You have to spend your money some time.

[meadish_sweetball]

To be fully honest, you seem to have quite a sad life here, winle. Why not ask yourself why you are with this girl? And be real.

For love...? Do you want to be with this girl indefinitely - in that case, you should let her/help her get a job, or help her study to achieve something in her life. If you really love her, you'll also want her to develop.

For sex...? Then, bluntly, you are leasing yourself a prostitute until further notice, and she will probably still feel like one even though she has left the bar and lives in your house.

Your real feelings and whatever degree of respect you feel towards her will shine through. The fact that a girl lacks education and has worked as a bar girl doesn't mean her perception and judgement are substandard - on the contrary, I would argue that as a bar girl you become an excellent judge of character after some years in the trade.

If you are not honest with her, don't expect her to change. In fact, even if you are honest with her, she will see no incentive to change apart from money, and if you can't provide it, she'll leave.

If you really want this girl, make reasonable demands of her such as to get a decent job or study something, and show her respect by taking her out to nicer places than the noodle stands.

As for buying expensive presents and giving her this or that much money, this discussion only applies if you see her as a commodity similar to your fridge or TV set. In that case, good luck.

Soap box, please.

[dr_Pat_Pong]

To be fully honest, you seem to have quite a sad life here, winle. Why not ask yourself why you are with this girl? And be real.

For love...? Do you want to be with this girl indefinitely - in that case, you should let her/help her get a job, or help her study to achieve something in her life. If you really love her, you'll also want her to develop.

For sex...? Then, bluntly, you are leasing yourself a prostitute until further notice, and she will probably still feel like one even though she has left the bar and lives in your house.

Your real feelings and whatever degree of respect you feel towards her will shine through. The fact that a girl lacks education and has worked as a bar girl doesn't mean her perception and judgement are substandard - on the contrary, I would argue that as a bar girl you become an excellent judge of character after some years in the trade.

If you are not honest with her, don't expect her to change. In fact, even if you are honest with her, she will see no incentive to change apart from money, and if you can't provide it, she'll leave.

If you really want this girl, make reasonable demands of her such as to get a decent job or study something, and show her respect by taking her out to nicer places than the noodle stands.

As for buying expensive presents and giving her this or that much money, this discussion only applies if you see her as a commodity similar to your fridge or TV set. In that case, good luck.

Soap box, please.

You are standing on it Sweetball