Am I Cheap

[thatguy]

if you're not having fun, go elsewhere. maybe she will.

sanuk

[megashox]

Am I cheap?

....p.s the fridge is always full of water, sodas bannanas....

No you're not - as long as you don't count the bananas she's been eating (from the fridge).

[mouse]

Money is a tool and many of us seem to forget that and give it too much importance. If you want to use the girls then I do not know what to tell you. If you respect and love her then work with her toward an amicable agreement.

I have a friend in Kohn Kane and he gives his wife 5,000 Baht every month just for herself and to help meet her family obligations.

As for myself, my wife and kids have everything they need and in many cases desire but I will not allow us to waste. Thai people (not all of course) have a very difficult time holding on to money. I also had this problem due to being brought up in a poor environment but have managed to learn and am passing on my education to my wife and kids.

[phazey]

Thai people (not all of course) have a very difficult time holding on to money.

I agree with the "not all" part

My wife is an excellent saver - not overly controlling like, but very handy in a finacial sence. If i had my way it'd be SPEND SPEND SPEND....

On the other hand, she (and her parents) do not like banks - it's all stuffed under the matress etc (no i am not handing my address out) - and thats holding on to it far too tightly for my liking.....but ho hum..

./P

[winle]

Quoted from msweetball

"Your real feelings and whatever degree of respect you feel towards her will shine through. The fact that a girl lacks education and has worked as a bar girl doesn't mean her perception and judgement are substandard - on the contrary, I would argue that as a bar girl you become an excellent judge of character after some years in the trade."

Mr. Sweetball, my girlfriend only worked in the bar for 3 months before she met me, although i do still hope she is a good judge of character

[Candyflip]

Mr. Sweetball, my girlfriend only worked in the bar for 3 months before she met me, although i do still hope she is a good judge of character

Does it matter much how long she works as a bar girl? 3 months or 3 years? Is it the same thing ... woman that sells her body.

[winle]

What do you mean by that candy??

[elsie]

Mr. Sweetball, my girlfriend only worked in the bar for 3 months before she met me, although i do still hope she is a good judge of character

Getting to sound too familiar to me.

[ericsshop]

Hint.....they have all only worked in a bar for 3 months.

If she still has friends asking her how much money you give her she has bad friends.

Tell her to get a different job during the day, she can find one there are 7-11's etc etc on every corner.

If she does not have the ambition or the inclination to get a job she has no self respect and is not worth having.

I am not a believer that girls go to bars because they are poor. This country has millions of poor girls but only a small percentage end up working as a prostitute.

I will never understand anyone willing to have a girlfriend let alone a wife that is/was a prostitute. If thats all you want then you can easily find one from wherever you are from.

But more than likely the situation will still be the same as here.

Tooooooooo many beautiful girls in Thailand to end up living and cavorting with a prostitute.

[meemiathai]

Mr. Sweetball, my girlfriend only worked in the bar for 3 months before she met me, although i do still hope she is a good judge of character

Does it matter much how long she works as a bar girl? 3 months or 3 years? Is it the same thing ... woman that sells her body.

So???

[chanchao]

Does it matter much how long she works as a bar girl? 3 months or 3 years? Is it the same thing ... woman that sells her body.

I don't think it's the body selling that's even the main issue. For a woman to end up in a bar there often is some kind of history & baggage there, along with being from a generally poorer and uneducated background. (DISCLAIMER: Yes there are exceptions )

These two factors are not affected by the amount of time she then spends working bars. I'm not even sure that spending a longer time in a bar would make things worse.. Sure she'll wisen up and perhaps become more cynical about men in general, but on the plus side she learns a lot of language and Western culture/habits as wel..

I would definitely NOT assume that someone on her first day is a gem and someone with 10 years in a bar a basket case.. You kind of have to be basket case to begin with to end up in a bar.. but someone able to work it for 10 years and be successful obviously has some spirit.

Cheers,

Chanchao

[Yohan]

To be fully honest, you seem to have quite a sad life here, winle. Why not ask yourself why you are with this girl? And be real.

I think, this is the point:

This forum gave you both quite a lot of ideas, what you could do, or what you should do, and what you both better should or could avoid.......

It is up to both of you to decide, what you really want:

For the man:

1-Are you looking for marriage with this girl?

2-Do you consider her as leased girl-friend? For how long?

3-Or is this a bar-maid, paid per day.......

Decide, what ever you think, is the best for YOU, but decide.....

For the girl:

1-Are you looking for marriage with this man?

2-Do you consider him as your owner, paying some lease for your body?

3-Or are you a bar-maid, paid per day, and like it that way with him?

Decide, what ever you think, is the best for YOU, but decide......

If you match, 1-1 or 2-2 or 3-3, then stay together.... happiness for you both,

and

If you do not match, then separate (and do it quickly!) and again, I wish both of you happiness, together with somebody else, who fits you better.

Johann

[MinutePigglet]

Wanna check my fingers and toes?

No thanks, I think you're a man...

and let me rephrase that...

Any Thai "girlfriend" that "dates" a farang.

[elsie]

Sorry to hear that, Mr Pigglet. But I am a Thai woman who dates a "foreigner"

Saying that all Thai girlfriends are nothing, but LBFMs is just like saying that all men are pigs. It is NOT true. And actually, it kind of says a lot about the one who says it, not the one who is mentioned.

I've had my article published on Stickman's website. A few people know who I am, and that I am not a white sicko surfing the net pretending to be a woman.

Now, can we get back to the original thread?

[MinutePigglet]

Sorry to hear that, Mr Pigglet. But I am a Thai woman who dates a "foreigner"

Saying that all Thai girlfriends are nothing, but LBFMs is just like saying that all men are pigs. It is NOT true. And actually, it kind of says a lot about the one who says it, not the one who is mentioned.

I've had my article published on Stickman's website. A few people know who I am, and that I am not a white sicko surfing the net pretending to be a woman.

Now, can we get back to the original thread?

Eee Noo,

There is NO WAY that a Khon Thai even knows what an LBFM (let alone stickman) is unless she's a man.

Also, monkeys can't type.

I rest my case.

{everyone hears a resounding church chord}

Besides... you started it!

I'm right on target. The boy is naive.

[elsie]

A woman who has read Stick's website for over a year does know what LBFM is.

[Bozo]

Dear Winle,

I suspect "Yohan" & "Meadish Sweetball" have perfectly summarized it.

Whatever both your ages, whatever she has been doing before, whatever her education and whatever your standard of living, what is now important is both:

- your mutual intent

- your mutual trust

This you can discover concerning you only through your own feelings, which you can then translate as thoughts & emotions, and concerning her through your perception (observation, communication, intuition) of her.

I explain myself more clearly; you have basically 2 possible intents:

1. Business: Comes from the Mind. She is actually working, whatever she tells you. Her work is to provide you with a service: sex, company, care, emotional comfort, help to go around, whatever,... As for any job, she measures her success & performance in her work by the value added she can generate out of it: money (directly & indirectly). I encourage you to read this excellent & short book titled "Money Number One" by Neil Hutchison (in any English bookstore in Thailand) to understand the Thai ways of seduction and some signs to discern truth beneath the appearances.

2. Love: Comes from the Heart. She really want to build a true relationship with you, with whatever degree of love that is possible at this point in time.

Both cases are respectable & honorable (judgement is only an emotional projection of your values ; but remember you both have different values & culture), as long as they are clearly expressed and understood by both of you:

Case 1: make a deal with her concerning her fee for services rendered, and manage her as an employe (with care & fairness).

Case 2: start establishing the frame of this relationship (with love & kindness), but keep in mind that 30yo already is considered as old in Thailand for a woman, and that marriage certainly is her target.

You can also try to mix Case 1 & Case 2, but it cannot work and you will only fool yourself (you can't consider that red is blue, or that what comes from the mind is coming from the heart).

Now starts the exciting challenge to perceive the truth beneath the appearances in Case 2. You can do it through many ways, including:

1. Intuition: not to be mixed with emotions. Don't question it, feel it, and that's it.

2. Observation: what looks odd ? what is not logical ? why did she not wish to be independant & find a job earlier ? is this belated job found after your suggestions sincere or sole manipulation ?...etc.

3. Communication: are there contradictions ? sincerity level ? what does the expression "cheap charlie" reveal ?...etc.

4. Testing: why wouldn't you remove and go into a Thai environment she is not familiar with (another town), with no "influencing friends" ? why wouldn't you propose her a similar job through your own connections, with an at least similar salary, if you don't feel comfortable with this one ? why wouldn't you suddenly lose most of your money (e.g. you had to give it all to your mother, who was very sick...) and have to finally survive with THB 5,000 + the money she earns, in order to see her reaction ?...etc.

You are most certainly currently living a very challenging experience, and you didn't chose the easiest ground for it, Asian people being Masters in manipulation, Thai probably some of the best at it (this is a compliment), and Western standing as mere students in the arena...

Enjoy it & have fun !

[Bozo]

A Thai "girlfriend" will never leave you just for being cheap (unless someone else comes along).  Then again, she might fornicate around on him with you, and she might moan, groan, and belly-ache, and she might do a little moonlighting; but she won't dump you till you're broke.  And, THAT's the bottom line.

BTW:  cheap is all in the perception.  Hers is different than yours, and you'll both have to live with that or not...

UP TO YOU! 

M. Pigglet

Are you seriously referring to all "Thai girlfriends"? Really? Seriously?

Hey LovelyCutie,

I suspect MinutePigglet was mentioning the "working girls" I mention in Case 1.

He might indeed sometimes be right in this case, as "ATM Farangs" are of interest, only as long as the ATM works. After that, they just become losers, similarly to too many Thai men, who keep living off their wife or girlfriend...

Would you keep working for a company, which is bankrupt and not paying you any salary anymore ?

As for the rest of your both instructive conversation , does he have more proofs to demonstrate he is a XY, than you do to demonstrate you are a XX ?

...through the forum & without physical confrontation, of course, so we can all enjoy it...

PS: By the way, being new here, I have no idea what "LBFM" means, neither of the "LOS" I so often see around ???...

[elsie]

PS: By the way, being new here, I have no idea what "LBFM" means, neither of the "LOS" I so often see around ???...

LBFM = Little Brown F**king Machine

LOS = Land of Smiles (which some bitter souls prefer to change it to "Land of Scams")

[Bozo]

Suave & delicious !...

Thanks

[elsie]

Anytime ka, Khun Bozo

[Kringle]

Missed this for a few days and to cut it short, yea you're cheap. Mine gets 35,000 a month and she takes care of everything, house payment,all other bills and food. If I ask for some money she gives it to me without question. She's not a bar girl, she's an accountant, and I never get complaints.

[Felt 35]

Again Winle, you are not a cheap charlie.

You are 26 years old and can only win with beeing smart and careful.

Take care of yor own interests. First thing First. Looks selfish, but TIT.

[et33.com]

i know you can't eat ""love""

you sure you want to marry her ?

if you do...

make her happy and give in abit more

if it's only enjoyment...

don't think two of you can keep up...

nah...

didn't have experience is such stuff

i prefer ""coke""

the real thing

it's not as if you did not support her

she want's more

if you love her / give

if not / split

make your own choice

at the end of the day

all written words here are just words

and it's cheap...

you are the one bearing the consequences

of your choices

so think for yourself man...

don't even think about asking in the first place...

[Yohan]

Missed this for a few days and to cut it short, yea you're cheap. Mine gets 35,000 a month and she takes care of everything, house payment,all other bills and food. If I ask for some money she gives it to me without question. She's not a bar girl, she's an accountant, and I never get complaints.

I do not agree.

What means cheap? Can you explain this a little bit more please....

I know Thai couples, who both are working every day and they do not have baht 35.000,- together.... Still they are considering to complete their family and like to have a child.

Many Thai people have an earning, which is somewhat in the average level of baht 10.000,- to 20.000,- per month/per person and they are not unsatisfied with that.

The point is not the money, because what can you do as a man, if you really do not have it?

Who is the man in Thailand, who can offer his wife baht 35000,- per month as house-keeping money?

Many simple Thai women will not even dream about to get Baht 35.000,- monthly from their husbands.

The point is, if the husband and the wife are satisfied with their situation and feeling comfortable living together. (Let me call it loving each other? or do you know any other better word?)

I wonder, what will happen, if you suddenly get sick and bedridden as man, and you are unable to earn enough money? Are you then a cheap Charlie and do you think, it is right, if your girl friend or wife is leaving you during a difficult time because you cannot give her money anymore?

The point is, if you feel to be a couple, who wants to share this life.... it has not much to do with money....

I share all with my wife, what I have....already since 27 years.... when I had nothing (except debits) during a very bad period long time ago, my wife did not leave me, but now our situation is a little bit better I would say. Our children are grown up, we are living in Japan, even need not to pay rent, no obligations at all......

I give my wife every month Baht 140.000,- and my wife has some job, too and was earning additional Baht 70.000,-

But from this month on, my wife is out of job...She is a little bit worried, she is already 50+, no own income anymore.....And she was several times rather sick, and could not perform as usual as my wife....

So, what shall I do, what is your recommandation? Shall I leave her and take a wife, who will care more about me, because she is healthy and even earning some extra money?

Johann

[Doi Thong]

Lets see...she's 30 years old,and have been working in the bar only for 3 months...55555.....Dear, drink iced coffee and wake up finally...

[winle]

Well from what i've read being cheap is a reletive thing, we dont starve, we have a roof over our heads, and one thing i havent mentioned is we get on very well always joking and laughing playing around, she just says im cheap charlie, i think im doing ok and living within my means,

As for marrige, well i never intend to get married thai lady falang lady no lady, i dont not beleive in marrige, if i commit myself to someone thats that, i dont need to have it blessed by a god that dosnt exsist and that i dont believe in.

I am agaistnt marrige full stop!

[dutch]

I think this last post says it all; You are happy - good for you.

Be careful with having kids

( legal marriage has nothing to do with God!)

[dr_Pat_Pong]

Well from what i've read being cheap is a reletive thing, we dont starve, we have a roof over our heads, and one thing i havent mentioned is we get on very well always joking and laughing playing around, she just says im cheap charlie, i think im doing ok and living within my means,

As for marrige, well i never intend to get married thai lady falang lady no lady, i dont not beleive in marrige, if i commit myself to someone thats that, i dont need to have it blessed by a god that dosnt exsist and that i dont believe in.

I am agaistnt marrige full stop!

Just so you know, legal marriage in Thailand does not have a skerrick of religion in the process.

[the gentleman]

Missed this for a few days and to cut it short, yea you're cheap. Mine gets 35,000 a month and she takes care of everything, house payment,all other bills and food. If I ask for some money she gives it to me without question. She's not a bar girl, she's an accountant, and I never get complaints.

he is not cheap. he is naive, but living within his means.

3 months or 3 years, still equals a bar girl - dont get anchored to a woman who is calling you a cheap charlie mate, go find a nice lady, who appreciates you - you see, bar girls cant live on your offerings, but a regular lady can and would appreciate you for you.

My wife is also an accountant, but her 6 day a week salary amounts to 12000 baht a month.

I dont need her money, nor does she expect a salary from me, its marriage after all - she just wants to work.

Does your wife work?, what is her salary?

Who would complain about 35 grand a month?