Defending all the "stingy" men out there!

[F4UCorsair]

I find it more than offensive if I'm called stingy by anybody, but particularly by somebody eho owns nothing but a cell phone, suggests I buy her a house, and thinks I should spend more than she earns in a month on a night out.

I didn't get where I am by splurging on freeloaders. I'm generous when I feel it necessary, spend freely on whatever I want, fly J class, can eat in any restaurant i choose (still prefer soi food), but I don't waste it.

[JacChang]

Everytime someone wins the lottery.

Suddenly everyone they have on their facebook, "HEY GIVE ME SOME!"

Why is that?

Should we reply "Oh hey, I haven't talked to you in like 5 years, sure, what's your bank account, i'll transfer it right away?"

Yes I'm cheap, because cheap means I have the utmost power and control of my money. I am the emperor of my money, I guard them with an eagles eye. The transfer of this power and wealth is under my watch.

-No loans ever, even to family. If they go bankrupt, I feed them, they live where I live, period, no money transfer.

-Go out to eat, everyone pays for their bill, just because I'm richer doesn't mean I'm stupidYER.

-I compare prices, I will go through all the trouble of finding the exact product at the cheapest prices possible.

-I'm rich, the ones who complain about me, are poor.

Next time we get married, do your friends jump in and say "HEY I WANT YOUR WIFE TOO?!"

[jacko45k]

I do not take a 'khee niaow' complaint from a Thai person as more than an amusement.

I am a bit, but I have a long way to go relative to some of them.

[ehs818]

Frankly, I don't care what any Thai peoples opinions are as we think on two different plains. Because I won't buy someone I just met something expensive does not make me 'cheap'. It makes me normal. The fact that they think they can gulit you into buying them something expensive that they themselves cannot afford only affirms to me that they are greedy and capable of using others to get what they want with little regard to the other persons needs or situation. I reject those types of people and don't allow them into my life. Saves my sanity and a bit of money too.

[JacChang]

<script type='text/javascript'>window.mod_pagespeed_start = Number(new Date());</script>

I find it more than offensive if I'm called stingy by anybody, but particularly by somebody eho owns nothing but a cell phone, suggests I buy her a house, and thinks I should spend more than she earns in a month on a night out.

I didn't get where I am by splurging on freeloaders. I'm generous when I feel it necessary, spend freely on whatever I want, fly J class, can eat in any restaurant i choose (still prefer soi food), but I don't waste it.

Great attitude man, I love it.

Poor people require the need to spend high amounts to show that they are rich. But ironically, by spending more, you are transferring your wealth over to the other side.

To the poor, money is like a coupon. They work hard, get paid a coupon, then they want to exchange it for something of high value, to give themselves a sense of worth.

To the rich, money is like soldiers. Today I have 500 soldiers, next year I will have 1000 soldiers. In 20 years time, I will have 1 million soldiers. The more the better.

Today both the poor and rich has 1 million. The poor buys a camry for 1 million, shows off to the crowd, but at the end of the day is poor........ no money. No money, only hab car.

The rich? Buys a 550,000 vios, walks out on the street for a soi noodle stall. Knowing he has 450,000, and that this cheap noodle is worth nothing compared to his asset. Now that is power.

[stevo52]

The man that posted this thread no he has it right ))) , you want something in life ..........work for it .. thais for too long have played the game ''the sympathy elephant game '' look at it this way we go bust in thailand))) , how many thais run to our aide ??? = none )))) no the man has a good gripe --- genuine too!

I can reflect back to a mate whom married last year a quiet rather impoverished issan woman'' , although she seemed fine to start , hubby was hmm not rich but he had 95,000 baht a month to live with)) happy gave her 75% of it -- that , one would think)))) would be apprieciated by the other half ???.

No it didnt work huh - she in life never seen 9k baht a month , he makes life says oh ok leaves 65,000 baht on the table to do life with every month , into her purse it went , she never stopped calling him stingy for the next 8 months))) .65K BAHT PLUS HER 9K BAHT = 74K BAHT ---and he's called stingy ??? for 8 months she never stopped insulting him - until he gave her the flick she was just a nightmare, they talk money in thier sleep ?---------they are obcessed by it???? ( i don't know why ?

Problem with the thais is thus, ( they never know when they are on a good thing & gratitude is not in the dictionary ) they want to have it not both ways,-- but all -ways -- Iam married to a thai - she earns 23k baht a month - but they want to keep all thiers in purse ) and you pay all for life ?? it's a bit rude huh !!

We can't do that in USA / AUSSIE / ENGLAND NEW ZED ETC ETC ETC -- WHY MUST WE DO IT IN THAILAND ?? why should anybody, be an ATM --- FOR THEM ????

FOOD FOR THOUGHT -YES !

Secret ( i learnt the hard way ) i give money to my mrs when she proves to me she is broke )))) ( no cunning kicks of money socked away in thier shoes ) they want farang pay all in / outs both ways???? when he goes bust ( and a lot do ) she has zero sympathy for him -------or comprehention, of just how hard it is for joe farang, to make a dollar )) joe goes bust - she screams stingy ??? ( WHAT THAIS FORGET IS THAT IN 75% OF CASES THEY SEND US BUST IN THE FIRST PLACE ))) its thier doing via / greed ))) - id like just $15 for every time ive seen that exact same situation in thailand.

They expect everybody to keep them ?? It does not work in 90% of countries .. thais should be damn gratefull))) to the ever generous farang !

My mate, He woke up & said to me no --no apprieciation here sport, just mother greed working overtime ( here we had classic example of --- the beggar being the chooser, and dictating life ?? bit like writing without a pen and paper -- you can't do it )))

The poster of the thread good post ---------do as i do ! i say to my mrs you want a quid ??? / work for it )) - i did for 42 years --didn't hurt me !

don't ever be an ATM FOR THEM because if you do, it will never stop ------------they are all wired the same way !

stevo

ps tell you something don't be a mug fall for the me want house me want land caper ( i didn't fall for that ) no way known - thais,,, tell em they want ''ouse me want land ''--you go buy it --not me ! who'd wants to own--- what you can't really own ??? - same same would you buy a car in the USA and seller says to you - sorry no papers - you dont really own it ( of course you'd not buy it ) same deal everything in thailand

In 80% of cases bar the odd honest one (( they get you to buy it -- the big assetts ) so mumasan & the family ''resident gorrillas'' all 77 of them'' all on the lamb yes )) ,they take it all off you later ! with some fabricated story him look other woman))) me make divorce = by by land and house ( in reality mr farang has done nothing wrong ) they very good liars the thais - its a specialty with them , like an aquired taste you know !

Trust your mrs with house and land in her name only??? yeahhh)))) sure lol lol ( like id trust mine with goods of more value than 150k baht ??? - i not that silly ))) no way known )- don't be mugs))) thais want all ?? let them go to work and buy all !( same as we did ).

[David48]

^^ stevo ... inspirational to read your post above ...

[David48]

Secret ( i learnt the hard way ) i give money to my mrs when she proves to me she is broke )))) ( no cunning kicks of money socked away in thier shoes )

p.s. ... that's for sharing your secret.

I promise not to tell anyone ...

[dotpoom]

"4. We don't believe in "Nam Jai" or the concept of showing generosity to all people. We have a belief of personal responsibility where you can control your own destiny by working hard and struggling through hard times to succeed."

Are we talking about the same country.....the average Thai could work their fingers to the bone here and on the pay they get they wouldn't have enough at the end of 30 years working to take a weeks holiday outside of Thailand. Myself, on the odd occasion have gone overboard and bought something for a Thai simply for the joy of seeing that person get absolute delight from something they could never in a lifetime have the money to buy for themselves. That feeling and memory is worth it's weight in gold to me.

PS. Those same feelings have saved me many a trip to the doctors because they are the best tonic one can give oneself.

[bheard]

The OP is correct. It's a pain in the backside to be called stingy when you are on a budget.

As one reply suggested - move on from the current company and find someone worthy of your (limited) support.

[NoshowJones]

No problem with people watching their pennies or in this case their satangs, as the saying goes 'up to you'

I do however take issue with guys complaining about others spending too much. If I want to rock up to a bar, ring the bell, tip the girls and have a good time then it's 'up to me'. Crys of "your making it hard on us who don't want to spend any money they will expect this from all of us" really do fall on deaf ears.

I agree, it is no one elses business how anyone spends their money.

[NanLaew]

This thread is so enlightening.... scales must be falling from hundreds of pairs of eyes just reading this. Just waiting for someone to chime in with the cultural aspects of living here and how embracing this and your Thainess, mandates being a professional ATM in Thailand.

[smotherb]

The OP may not have stated his case very artfully, but if you can glean the GIST of what he's driving it, he's on to something.

Living in Pattaya, do you realize how many retired expats who thought they were set for life get snookered into spending it all in a few years?

Defense is the best offense.

Albeit a bit off-topic, but I think common sense is the best offense or defense. Don't be stupid and get taken. Get it straight in all relationships--I am not here to support anyone who does not support me--I will give your family exactly as much as they give my family--if you're are looking for a meal ticket, look elsewhere. Although I can understand the rationale behind payment for service, I do not understand how you can fall in love with the service.

Back to topic, I've been in Southeast Asia since 1967, I've been called Cheap Charlie, keeneow, kuriput, kheo, etc., at times--usually that was some bar girl for whom I refused to buy a drink. My standard comments are either, you buy me a drink, and I'll buy you one or did I ask you to come over and sit with me--of course it helps to be able to say it in the local language. The smart girls do understand and most walk away, those who don't are interesting. However, I am not cheap and that becomes apparent to the girls in the bars I do frequent--for example, I like to nibble on something as I drink, so often I ask a girl to buy some street food, and I share it with them. For an amount usually less than a ladies' drink, you can feed them all and have some yourself.

[smotherb]

The man that posted this thread no he has it right ))) , you want something in life ..........work for it .. thais for too long have played the game ''the sympathy elephant game '' look at it this way we go bust in thailand))) , how many thais run to our aide ??? = none )))) no the man has a good gripe --- genuine too!

I can reflect back to a mate whom married last year a quiet rather impoverished issan woman'' , although she seemed fine to start , hubby was hmm not rich but he had 95,000 baht a month to live with)) happy gave her 75% of it -- that , one would think)))) would be apprieciated by the other half ???.

No it didnt work huh - she in life never seen 9k baht a month , he makes life says oh ok leaves 65,000 baht on the table to do life with every month , into her purse it went , she never stopped calling him stingy for the next 8 months))) .65K BAHT PLUS HER 9K BAHT = 74K BAHT ---and he's called stingy ??? for 8 months she never stopped insulting him - until he gave her the flick she was just a nightmare, they talk money in thier sleep ?---------they are obcessed by it???? ( i don't know why ?

Problem with the thais is thus, ( they never know when they are on a good thing & gratitude is not in the dictionary ) they want to have it not both ways,-- but all -ways -- Iam married to a thai - she earns 23k baht a month - but they want to keep all thiers in purse ) and you pay all for life ?? it's a bit rude huh !!

We can't do that in USA / AUSSIE / ENGLAND NEW ZED ETC ETC ETC -- WHY MUST WE DO IT IN THAILAND ?? why should anybody, be an ATM --- FOR THEM ????

FOOD FOR THOUGHT -YES !

Secret ( i learnt the hard way ) i give money to my mrs when she proves to me she is broke )))) ( no cunning kicks of money socked away in thier shoes ) they want farang pay all in / outs both ways???? when he goes bust ( and a lot do ) she has zero sympathy for him -------or comprehention, of just how hard it is for joe farang, to make a dollar )) joe goes bust - she screams stingy ??? ( WHAT THAIS FORGET IS THAT IN 75% OF CASES THEY SEND US BUST IN THE FIRST PLACE ))) its thier doing via / greed ))) - id like just $15 for every time ive seen that exact same situation in thailand.

They expect everybody to keep them ?? It does not work in 90% of countries .. thais should be damn gratefull))) to the ever generous farang !

My mate, He woke up & said to me no --no apprieciation here sport, just mother greed working overtime ( here we had classic example of --- the beggar being the chooser, and dictating life ?? bit like writing without a pen and paper -- you can't do it )))

The poster of the thread good post ---------do as i do ! i say to my mrs you want a quid ??? / work for it )) - i did for 42 years --didn't hurt me !

don't ever be an ATM FOR THEM because if you do, it will never stop ------------they are all wired the same way !

stevo

ps tell you something don't be a mug fall for the me want house me want land caper ( i didn't fall for that ) no way known - thais,,, tell em they want ''ouse me want land ''--you go buy it --not me ! who'd wants to own--- what you can't really own ??? - same same would you buy a car in the USA and seller says to you - sorry no papers - you dont really own it ( of course you'd not buy it ) same deal everything in thailand

In 80% of cases bar the odd honest one (( they get you to buy it -- the big assetts ) so mumasan & the family ''resident gorrillas'' all 77 of them'' all on the lamb yes )) ,they take it all off you later ! with some fabricated story him look other woman))) me make divorce = by by land and house ( in reality mr farang has done nothing wrong ) they very good liars the thais - its a specialty with them , like an aquired taste you know !

Trust your mrs with house and land in her name only??? yeahhh)))) sure lol lol ( like id trust mine with goods of more value than 150k baht ??? - i not that silly ))) no way known )- don't be mugs))) thais want all ?? let them go to work and buy all !( same as we did ).

You fall into a sewer and expect to come out smelling like a rose; that is naive.

[mrowe1973]

He forgot the most important point. Who wants to be know as a stupied farang?

[ezzra]

There is a fine line between stingy and frugal, while many people are penny wise but pound foolish,

other are easy come easy go attitude and damn the tomorrows, the frugal knows the

value of his hard earned (and honest) money, while the fool and his money are soon parted,

Money is serous stuff, men went to wars and epic battles over money, men has killed over money

and major crimes were committed just for money,

[circusman]

Be a bit more selective and find a girl who likes to save, scolds you for being wasteful and doesn't have a leeching family. Plenty of them out there.

Maybe not plenty out there but thankfully I found one. Going on 15 years together.

[thailiketoo]

The OP may not have stated his case very artfully, but if you can glean the GIST of what he's driving it, he's on to something.

Living in Pattaya, do you realize how many retired expats who thought they were set for life get snookered into spending it all in a few years?

Defense is the best offense.

I didn't meet one. Met a lot of men who got taken but not one of them retired. Most of the retired guys I met had a pension and you can't get that in advance. Of course I only lived there for three years and didn't hang out in bars much. If I had to pick a group that consistently got taken advantage of I would say English teachers but they didn't get taken for much because they didn't have much.

I was an active member of a member of Pattaya expat non bar groups so I did meet a lot of people who were not drunks and maybe that had something to do with my experiences.

Edited October 31, 2014 by thailiketoo

[elgordo38]

Dear Canman

Please be careful that you do not outlive your money. If you ever fall sick it can bite into your nest egg really fast. I would rather be on the stingy side at my age (76) so that my young g/f has a head start after I pass on. Again we have no crystal ball we do not know what the future holds in store for us.

[stevo52]

EZZRA you are correct fool and his money soon parted) yes sadly from my time in thailand i find that 7 from 10 farangs are sad to say ))--''the fools with money etc'', to many cultures of farangs thier now 75% idiots 25% appear to make it --- and not lose the wallet!

farangs especialy the European ''beggar versions'' i christened them------------They '' try to buy people - we know it won't work !

i think the only way to be with a thai and not lose your coin - is to lay the law - cast in stone so to speak - i got a good wife but i tell you what

i said to mine 4 things you'l never get from me

house

land

money

and i will not keep the sponging family !

i want same back from you - she said fair enough -she never puts a foot wrong -( and her family never asked me 5 cents because they know they won't get it )--- but that's a rare thai !))) i think very VERY RARE )) i just say hey - books shut dear, i have zero interest in owning big assetts in thailand ( or anywhere for that matter )----------whilst ive got capitol - i got a ticket out if it turns to crud -so i can't be hurt much ))

Thats smart)))) never get taken in by the glitze and prities its all crap at days end - i not 20/ 30/ 40/ 50 iam pushing 60 i have zero interest in party crap / drink /. anything along those lines pisses me off no end same with bars and tarts!!! oh no thanks )))- i dont like playing in the sewars !--and to be 110% honest in not give you 5 cents for thai culture - or thier ways - no way not in a pink fit ! its too smothered in deciet you know - its just to crooked a sandpit to play in ---its full of snakes.!

[bushwacker]

I know what value that I place on things and I know that it is different from the value that others place on things. I also know that to me, my opinion is way more important, honest and true, at least to me and after all that is all that counts (to me).

Buying and eating good fruit and food in general is very important and I spend good money for it. Seeing the need to daily toss money into a beggars hands because she or he does not want to work holds little value to me. Especially since they sit on the same spot each and every day except for their holiday. Paying a woman by purchasing her a pretend alcoholic drink, so that she will sit with me and play with her phone or pretend to be interested in me, holds no value. Paying somebody to buy caged birds so that I can set them free and gain merit for my next life (hihihihi), only to have the same birds presented the next day for purchase and release .... has no value to me. Cheap charlie, maybe in some peoples minds ... who I care nothing about. In my mind, which I do care about, the term would be frugal and self aware of personal values.

As I often tell them ... I am not Thai ... and I do not want to be Thai.

Just saying.

[stevo52]

Bushwacher you echo my sentiments exactly - iam not thier to be a thai -not interested sorry , dont you hate it where they try force thai crap down your throat , just sets me right off !

you are so so right in all you say you see them as i do -but i think mate people as ourselves maybe 1 in 140 in thailand in the farangs , bars are teeming in sad stories how they all got ripped off - in essence they ripped themselves off !

My wife said me want you learn speak thai ---i said why? you speak 85% good english it took me 10 months to teach you - so we could communicate err hello !!! lol

in my place where i live in thailand, my mrs knows better than to fill my joint up with thais ( THAT NO SPEAK ENGLISH ) I NOT INTERESTED IN THIER SOCIAL SET ! - she knows it pisses me right off - they can speak english = welcome to my abode !

if not -- hey two flower pots out the front and a stool, so help yourself to them as in a place to sit !

BY THE WAY the beggars we see daily its all a business mate, come 4 oclock they change shift !! its all a business really ! only thing they dont have is a bundy card and a whistle that blows as they change shift, but iam sure they are working on it ! lol

[Emster23]

We often get tossed into one of two bins: cheap Charlie or stupid farang. Both insulting, but at end of the day you have more cash if CC. Remember the power of "no"

[nithisa78]

I'll still think of them as men with little faith.

Nice try.

[nithisa78]

Bushwacher you echo my sentiments exactly - iam not thier to be a thai -not interested sorry , dont you hate it where they try force thai crap down your throat , just sets me right off !

you are so so right in all you say you see them as i do -but i think mate people as ourselves maybe 1 in 140 in thailand in the farangs , bars are teeming in sad stories how they all got ripped off - in essence they ripped themselves off !

My wife said me want you learn speak thai ---i said why? you speak 85% good english it took me 10 months to teach you - so we could communicate err hello !!! lol

in my place where i live in thailand, my mrs knows better than to fill my joint up with thais ( THAT NO SPEAK ENGLISH ) I NOT INTERESTED IN THIER SOCIAL SET ! - she knows it pisses me right off - they can speak english = welcome to my abode !

if not -- hey two flower pots out the front and a stool, so help yourself to them as in a place to sit !

BY THE WAY the beggars we see daily its all a business mate, come 4 oclock they change shift !! its all a business really ! only thing they dont have is a bundy card and a whistle that blows as they change shift, but iam sure they are working on it ! lol

little bitter, aren't you? rhetorical

I'd enjopy seeing you pull a shift or two.

[nithisa78]

http://www.thewaytohappiness.org/thewaytohappiness/precepts/epilogue.html

[thailiketoo]

I know what value that I place on things and I know that it is different from the value that others place on things. I also know that to me, my opinion is way more important, honest and true, at least to me and after all that is all that counts (to me).

Buying and eating good fruit and food in general is very important and I spend good money for it. Seeing the need to daily toss money into a beggars hands because she or he does not want to work holds little value to me. Especially since they sit on the same spot each and every day except for their holiday. Paying a woman by purchasing her a pretend alcoholic drink, so that she will sit with me and play with her phone or pretend to be interested in me, holds no value. Paying somebody to buy caged birds so that I can set them free and gain merit for my next life (hihihihi), only to have the same birds presented the next day for purchase and release .... has no value to me. Cheap charlie, maybe in some peoples minds ... who I care nothing about. In my mind, which I do care about, the term would be frugal and self aware of personal values.

As I often tell them ... I am not Thai ... and I do not want to be Thai.

Just saying.

You wrote, "As I often tell them ... I am not Thai ... and I do not want to be Thai." Whom do you tell (since you do it often this should be an easy question).

[stevo52]

Well yes tad bitter but its because ''everythings got to do with trying get $$$ from mister farang , you'd reackon they'd give it a rest now again - nice place thailand , be a much better place if all methods of trying to extract every dollar from farang ..... were canned !

any place makes me bitter mate where you are in thier country, seeing -- they all get by just fine on x amount of money !! but they want 4 x more from you?

purely because your a stranger ? its a bit rude !!-------------- in my country - that's called scam !

people come to my country the bus fare so to speak ----------is the same for all races / so to flat rents / so too car prices / so too 1000 things !

but thailands not ? go figure that !

[louse1953]

I Agee with op , but I just say to the thai I work hard for my money and it is my money not yours you see thai will spend your money first and it sh?t me when a thai calls me kii niiao I can't stand it I have work for 45 hard years to get my money and I am not going to give it all to a thai all thai say it to western man

I love been called kee niaw,badge of honour to me.

[stevo52]

yes i seen site way to happiness yes ))www etc -- i also seen some years ago a woman praying to budda in chiang mai - i watched as two cops took her away 5 minutes later with a farang hot in pursuit saying the woman had robbed his room of pc / camera plus 77,000 baht - yes yes seen all that - a prayer after the robbery budda will forgive )) , he may have, but certainly the usa farang didnt , nor the cops !