People actually let there wife control all the finances?

[ATF]

It really depends how much money you have. If you are living on a tight budget as a family with children it obviously makes the wife feel more secure that there is cash readily available to take care of the kids.

I don't believe multi-millionaires and billionaires would put all their cash in the trust of another person.

So if you know exactly how much money you have it's definitely not enough.

[fatfather]

Ok so I was out a few nights ago talking to another expat and he was saying that he knows a few people that let there wives control all there money.

So its your money and you have to ask your wife if you can have beer money or gas money for your motorcycle?

This is the craziest thing ever I can't imagine anyone ever doing this.

This is like playing Russian roulette! Oh my God! Who does this?

I do it. Decisions about major achievements we do together, the rest she handles on her own. And yes, I ask for beer money. She is the money boss.

Fatfather

[sdanielmcev]

She does the cooking, she does the cleaning, she's Thai. She knows where the money is supposed to go. And, it makes her happy. Why have a partner and not have a partnership? And, OP, please learn how to spell.

[mesquite]

It really depends how much money you have. If you are living on a tight budget as a family with children it obviously makes the wife feel more secure that there is cash readily available to take care of the kids.

I don't believe multi-millionaires and billionaires would put all their cash in the trust of another person.

So if you know exactly how much money you have it's definitely not enough.

Yes. Billionaire Oprah Winfrey has stated she signs all her checks.

[Seastallion]

Found it convenient to let her pay for the bills in Thailand. I keep a spreadsheet of upcoming bills, travel and purchase plans for the year. That money is sent directly to her account here. Our savings (emergency funds) remain in my home country..accessible only to me. We are not married, but lived together for 4 years.

I show her the spending plan for the upcoming month, and just ask for receipts for the rent, car payment, and utilities. Her allowance is tied in with the food money....so she shops wisely. As long as the money left in her account is the same as we predicted, I do not worry about things. Best part, all bills are paid during the first 3 days of the month.

This setup suits me fine, as it does her. She is able to show a steady income (from bank deposits), should she apply for a visa. Another thing...I have freedom. If I need to leave Thailand for more than a few months, there is no worry or argument about money or bills. It just carries on.

She gets a big smile on her face, when she is notified of a bank deposit. (Even the the majority of the money is for necessities). I think it is the feeling of security/control, or perhaps her "face" of going to the bank and having more then 400 baht in her account. For me, I do not stress out about the next month or two. There have been times, in the past, where I could not get hold of my money in the states for weeks. That is all being handled. And, should I wind up in a hospital, she can put some cash up front.

This might not work in every single relationship. It works fine for us. My girl was a manager at a Handbag/shoe outlet in bangkok, with several employees under her....and a Chinese boss micromanaging her purchases and receipts. I do not micromanage, but just insist that the bottom line match our plans.

If you feel the need to see all receipts, then you don't trust her much. You are in fact just delegating a job to her, not giving her any independence.

Most of my money goes into our joint account. She buys what we need, she consults me (as I do her) if she thinks we deserve a luxury item. I tell her when I'm going to the pub, as a politeness, and she never asks how much I spend. We keep receipts in a shoebox, but only for the utilities and large, under-warranty items. Day to day spending we never bother to keep receipts.

But then, I have a passive income and she works for a decent salary.

[pgrahmm]

I give my wife a monthly household budget.....from that she handles all the obligations + daily expenses - food - clothes....etc.... + she sends some home to her family out of it...

It's the same amount I had for myself for the same household before - and I had a hard time staying within it - but I had more extraciricular activies then.....so I have some idea of the manageable amounts

She manages the budget and keeps an accounting book to know where every baht goes.....mentioned one month how much we spent on Tiramisu - she has catagories and breakout accounts listed in her little book.....she is frugal and conservative in every respect......

She spends money carefully - more carefully than she would if I treated her like a kid and every time she needed money and everywhere we went she'd have to come to me like a dependent child - - - - no wonder we look like an ATM to some of them - they trail around asking for money and it's doled out.....feeling more or less helpless.....then - because of conditions they've created I've seen men barking at their women while shopping in markets & stores - make sense???? The men are angry and the women are hurt/humiliated just trying to do their job/part......I don't understand.....

If she runs out of money before more we make do until the next month but have never had a problem.....

If you have the right woman you treat them with the respect....if they fail the little "smell" tests along the way while you are building your relationship - move on.....

How do you know when she/they are on your side.....? Has happened in many ways - but last month was a nice example.....we opened a savings account for a specific goal - when we visited the family for a couple of days she told them they would be receiving less money because we were saving something....I'm not a big fan of sending money but it's the ingrained Thai way and she handles it from the budget I couldn't keep to before on my own....

Note - her family has never "asked" for anything and are always helpful and offer/pay when we go out for family dinners about 50% of the time depending on who's "hosting" - if there is any such thing here.....There are no lazy people in the family - they all work hard and are money careful....only one that drinks beer with meals or cordial settings....

My wife does not control "all" the finances but does a nice job of managing what she controls........what she gets is about 1/3 - I have control over the rest.....from that comes our holidays/vacations/whims - other expenses like our vehicles, etc....

She just called me to the kitchen - she splurged on a 299B coffee maker yesterday and was using it for the first time - excited......

But the point is - she managed the money - decided she wanted it - and got it......it's the little excitements/victories/joys that help to build life together.....

Not to be confused with excitable/over reactive/abraisive/abusive - nuclear poison in this society.....

Edited November 2, 2014 by pgrahmm

[MartinL]

I think i must be the only Man whos Thai wife has Money in the bank, land and a house In Thailand, and gold. all bought by herself working in the UK. She never asks for one penny/baht never has. so how can i not trust her, i would not have married her , trust is the basis of any relationship.

Same here, except that my wife worked in Thailand, alone as a widow for 20+ years, putting 2 sons through Uni & seeing these good young men married to good women of their own. She has money in the bank (not much ) and worked hard for her land, house, gold etc. over the years. She, too, never asks for a penny except for the very reasonable amount of housekeeping money each month.

So proud of her & so glad I met her!!

[Crazy chef 1]

ok newbie "internettrollsarereal":in my case this is exactly what happen.my wife controls all OUR money;she pays the bills,do the shopping(food,clothes,fags,beer,etc),pay at the restaurant and whenever i need some cash(what i actually don't need)i tell her how much and she gives it to me-simple.

BTW she contributes also quiet a fair part to OUR monthly income.

this is called FAMILY...

[Soutpeel]

Here's the thing and everyone to their own I guess as regards relationships

People change, relationship's change, if someone is going to throw their lot in, in a relationship and not just in Thailand, make sure you have a "slush fund" or a get out of "dodge fund" hidden away before you let anyone else put their fingers in your piggy bank, this is just common sense.

heard this week from a mate, who has been married for nearly 20 odd years, in what appeared to be the "perfect relationship" and his soon to be Ex-Mrs has been siphoning off cash and has been playing hide the sausage with someone else for the last 6 odd years and has just been caught out.

So as much as people run around proclaiming "she's different" she may very well be which is great, but she may also be playing the long game or some other game, you don't know about,

yes you have to trust people but by the same token don't be stupid and naive about it.

you read on TV all the time the perceptions that Farangs are intellectually superior to Thai's, farangs are logical, Thai's are not, etc....so its always a bit of an eye opener to read how many so-called "intellectually superior and wise" farang's get cleaned out by a rice farmer's daughter with a trick pelvis, and come hither smile...

The fact is people have this "Utopian" vision of relationships and the reality is over 50% of all relationship fail at some point, so what is the lesson out of this ?

"Prepare for the worst and hope for the best", if in your current arrangement/relationship, you do get the dirty done to you, are you left without nothing ? or can you start over again relatively easily ?

[Crazy chef 1]

Here's the thing and everyone to their own I guess as regards relationships

People change, relationship's change, if someone is going to throw their lot in, in a relationship and not just in Thailand, make sure you have a "slush fund" or a get out of "dodge fund" hidden away before you let anyone else put their fingers in your piggy bank, this is just common sense.

heard this week from a mate, who has been married for nearly 20 odd years, in what appeared to be the "perfect relationship" and his soon to be Ex-Mrs has been siphoning off cash and has been playing hide the sausage with someone else for the last 6 odd years and has just been caught out.

So as much as people run around proclaiming "she's different" she may very well be which is great, but she may also be playing the long game or some other game, you don't know about,

yes you have to trust people but by the same token don't be stupid and naive about it.

you read on TV all the time the perceptions that Farangs are intellectually superior to Thai's, farangs are logical, Thai's are not, etc....so its always a bit of an eye opener to read how many so-called "intellectually superior and wise" farang's get cleaned out by a rice farmer's daughter with a trick pelvis, and come hither smile...

The fact is people have this "Utopian" vision of relationships and the reality is over 50% of all relationship fail at some point, so what is the lesson out of this ?

"Prepare for the worst and hope for the best", if in your current arrangement/relationship, you do get the dirty done to you, are you left without nothing ? or can you start over again relatively easily ?

as usual i agree with you SP-in our case when we started we hadn't much.all we have now we worked together for(house,car,etc)-though at the end it is OUR's and if we split 50/50-same as everywhere else.

[mesquite]

Here's the thing and everyone to their own I guess as regards relationships

People change, relationship's change, if someone is going to throw their lot in, in a relationship and not just in Thailand, make sure you have a "slush fund" or a get out of "dodge fund" hidden away before you let anyone else put their fingers in your piggy bank, this is just common sense.

heard this week from a mate, who has been married for nearly 20 odd years, in what appeared to be the "perfect relationship" and his soon to be Ex-Mrs has been siphoning off cash and has been playing hide the sausage with someone else for the last 6 odd years and has just been caught out.

So as much as people run around proclaiming "she's different" she may very well be which is great, but she may also be playing the long game or some other game, you don't know about,

yes you have to trust people but by the same token don't be stupid and naive about it.

you read on TV all the time the perceptions that Farangs are intellectually superior to Thai's, farangs are logical, Thai's are not, etc....so its always a bit of an eye opener to read how many so-called "intellectually superior and wise" farang's get cleaned out by a rice farmer's daughter with a trick pelvis, and come hither smile...

The fact is people have this "Utopian" vision of relationships and the reality is over 50% of all relationship fail at some point, so what is the lesson out of this ?

"Prepare for the worst and hope for the best", if in your current arrangement/relationship, you do get the dirty done to you, are you left without nothing ? or can you start over again relatively easily ?

"trick pelvis" ... +l

Edited November 2, 2014 by mesquite

[slipperylobster]

Found it convenient to let her pay for the bills in Thailand. I keep a spreadsheet of upcoming bills, travel and purchase plans for the year. That money is sent directly to her account here. Our savings (emergency funds) remain in my home country..accessible only to me. We are not married, but lived together for 4 years.

I show her the spending plan for the upcoming month, and just ask for receipts for the rent, car payment, and utilities. Her allowance is tied in with the food money....so she shops wisely. As long as the money left in her account is the same as we predicted, I do not worry about things. Best part, all bills are paid during the first 3 days of the month.

This setup suits me fine, as it does her. She is able to show a steady income (from bank deposits), should she apply for a visa. Another thing...I have freedom. If I need to leave Thailand for more than a few months, there is no worry or argument about money or bills. It just carries on.

She gets a big smile on her face, when she is notified of a bank deposit. (Even the the majority of the money is for necessities). I think it is the feeling of security/control, or perhaps her "face" of going to the bank and having more then 400 baht in her account. For me, I do not stress out about the next month or two. There have been times, in the past, where I could not get hold of my money in the states for weeks. That is all being handled. And, should I wind up in a hospital, she can put some cash up front.

This might not work in every single relationship. It works fine for us. My girl was a manager at a Handbag/shoe outlet in bangkok, with several employees under her....and a Chinese boss micromanaging her purchases and receipts. I do not micromanage, but just insist that the bottom line match our plans.

If you feel the need to see all receipts, then you don't trust her much. You are in fact just delegating a job to her, not giving her any independence.

Most of my money goes into our joint account. She buys what we need, she consults me (as I do her) if she thinks we deserve a luxury item. I tell her when I'm going to the pub, as a politeness, and she never asks how much I spend. We keep receipts in a shoebox, but only for the utilities and large, under-warranty items. Day to day spending we never bother to keep receipts.

But then, I have a passive income and she works for a decent salary.

Receipts are put in a folder for household expenses, and kept for the term that I am renting. I had a man on a motorbike come and cut the power because I could not show a receipt. Yes, it does seem smarter to double check. But I hardly look at the receipts, they are just something I always thought important to keep...for future reference.

I trust her honesty, but not her forgetfulness.... which, I am afraid, we both suffer from.

Cross checking would be the best terminology...eh?

[David48]

ok newbie "internettrollsarereal":in my case this is exactly what happen.my wife controls all OUR money;she pays the bills,do the shopping(food,clothes,fags,beer,etc),pay at the restaurant and whenever i need some cash(what i actually don't need)i tell her how much and she gives it to me-simple.

BTW she contributes also quiet a fair part to OUR monthly income.

this is called FAMILY...

ok newbie "internettrollsarereal" ...

[robblok]

Everyone is different.. I would never ever let a woman control the money I make, and I would also never go for a woman without their own source of income. This way I know at least that they are not after me for my money. Married here but with separate accounts.

To each his or her own, as for asking permission to go out

Though I can understand that a wife would not be too happy if a guy visits bars all night long all the time.

[NanLaew]

The OP didn't get this subject matter from being "out a few nights ago talking to another expat", he got it from bigguy's post in yet another unimaginative and equally peurile thread that has been prematurely ejaculated by the OP.

Not to worry, Roo or another troll-weary Mod will be along shortly to punt it into Farang Pub where it will fade into lonely, insecure obscurity, just like the OP.

[robblok]

The OP didn't get this subject matter from being "out a few nights ago talking to another expat", he got it from bigguy's post in yet another unimaginative and equally peurile thread that has been prematurely ejaculated by the OP.

Not to worry, Roo or another troll-weary Mod will be along shortly to punt it into Farang Pub where it will fade into lonely, insecure obscurity, just like the OP.

The OP is a troll but the topic is valid. I have heard about it and read about it here too. Its amazing (for me) but on the other hand not everyone is the same and sometimes it is even possible that a Thai wife is better at finances as the guy then why not.

I don't like giving up control and having read more then a few stories about foreigners getting killed for their money am not so sure about it. You give them control to money they don't need you anymore.(those that were after you for the money) Guess we all have read the stories over the years.. now the lady with 2 japanese men ..

[Aussieroaming]

Well a true relationship involves trusting other. I wouldn't let my wife determine what I can spend but I will listen to her point of view if she shows concern about what I'm spending, likewise if she was spending out of control I would talk to her.

[Bernard Flint]

Maybe the word trust is missing from your vocabulary.

Your right I wouldn't trust a woman with all my hard earned money.

I earned it why would I give up all my power to control my own finances.

If she has a falling out with me I have nothing doesn't seems like a smart decision.

I think i must be the only Man whos Thai wife has Money in the bank, land and a house In Thailand, and gold. all bought by herself working in the UK. She never asks for one penny/baht never has. so how can i not trust her, i would not have married her , trust is the basis of any relationship.

You think wrong sir

[thehelmsman]

OP, I am sure these men have pocket money hidden somewhere, lol.

Of course, anyone who doesn't probably doesn't have much. So, they brag their wife knows all.

[Soutpeel]

OP, I am sure these men have pocket money hidden somewhere, lol.

Of course, anyone who doesn't probably doesn't have much. So, they brag their wife knows all.

any man or even women who don't have a slush fund hidden away for themselves is being somewhat naive.

[phutoie2]

It will snow in Phetchabun before I ever ask the wife for beer money. Not everyone is married to Mary Poppins.

This topic has the air of "my girl is hi-so Chinese with umpteen master degrees & her own business" about it.

[pgrahmm]

Actually....this thread has done well to have some valid/candid opinions/answers and stayed the course pretty well....the usual antagonizers/trolls/bottom feeders have shown up to try and discredit them - to make them feel better about themselves as is their practice...but the thread has done OK.....

[wow64]

I was talking to a friend who knows someone that has a friend and they were talking about another friend who lets their friends girlfriends mates lover control his money.

Craziest thing i ever heard.

Sent from my c64

[slipperylobster]

I was talking to a friend who knows someone that has a friend and they were talking about another friend who lets their friends girlfriends mates lover control his money.

Craziest thing i ever heard.

Sent from my c64

You make all of that sound as confusing as having a homeless man put on house arrest !

[n210mp]

I have an acquaintance, friend and occasional golfing buddy who is married to lovely Thai lady.

They are somewhat unusual as she is the dominant (Boss) person in the relationship, this to the extent that whilst everything they have is mostly (75%) from his finances she controls day to day and indeed all future financial planning like Margaret Thatcher would if she were still around.

The lady also has a terrible temper which she occasionally loses control over and then gets at her quiet peace loving husband with child like slapping and the poor sap just takes it without moaning or groaning

The man (NNNPD ) is well capable of taking care of himself in any situation that you wish to imagine.

He is getting on but fit and healthy, short tough and even possibly lethal if you got on the wrong side of him, I understand that he also was a guest in some of the UKs maximum security establishments for a while in his younger days.

He once was a very wealthy person employing many people in his various business interests. Now in the twilight of his years He is content to have his life organised by this wonderful lady whom he adores.

When I ask him why he allows her to be such an aggressively dominating person with him his answer is interesting

He says that He has never been loved by anyone in his life like his wife, 20 years his junior by the way takes care and loves him.

She cooks both Western and Thai/Chinese food for him and treats him like a King around the house.

In the beginning of their relationship which was a bit stormy with him always being in charge and wanting his own way he soon learned that indeed she was better at organising their daily life in Thailand and certainly better at getting the best out of tradesmen, Banks, shops and anywhere where his wifes top negotiating skills could be used to his/their advantage

She lays his clothes out for him daily and and then fusses over him,adjusting this or pulling his shirt straight.

After a lifetime of being in charge and taking responsibility in highly stressful situations he is content to let her make all the decisions in their lives and he is happy with this situation because she has shown him over the past ten years that that have been married only love, trust and an occasional bad temper!

[AnotherOneAmerican]

ok newbie "internettrollsarereal":in my case this is exactly what happen.my wife controls all OUR money;she pays the bills,do the shopping(food,clothes,fags,beer,etc),pay at the restaurant and whenever i need some cash(what i actually don't need)i tell her how much and she gives it to me-simple.

BTW she contributes also quiet a fair part to OUR monthly income.

this is called FAMILY...

No, it's called 'whipped'.

[Soutpeel]

I have an acquaintance, friend and occasional golfing buddy who is married to lovely Thai lady.

They are somewhat unusual as she is the dominant (Boss) person in the relationship, this to the extent that whilst everything they have is mostly (75%) from his finances she controls day to day and indeed all future financial planning like Margaret Thatcher would if she were still around.

The lady also has a terrible temper which she occasionally loses control over and then gets at her quiet peace loving husband with child like slapping and the poor sap just takes it without moaning or groaning

The man (NNNPD ) is well capable of taking care of himself in any situation that you wish to imagine.

He is getting on but fit and healthy, short tough and even possibly lethal if you got on the wrong side of him, I understand that he also was a guest in some of the UKs maximum security establishments for a while in his younger days.

He once was a very wealthy person employing many people in his various business interests. Now in the twilight of his years He is content to have his life organised by this wonderful lady whom he adores.

When I ask him why he allows her to be such an aggressively dominating person with him his answer is interesting

He says that He has never been loved by anyone in his life like his wife, 20 years his junior by the way takes care and loves him.

She cooks both Western and Thai/Chinese food for him and treats him like a King around the house.

In the beginning of their relationship which was a bit stormy with him always being in charge and wanting his own way he soon learned that indeed she was better at organising their daily life in Thailand and certainly better at getting the best out of tradesmen, Banks, shops and anywhere where his wifes top negotiating skills could be used to his/their advantage

She lays his clothes out for him daily and and then fusses over him,adjusting this or pulling his shirt straight.

After a lifetime of being in charge and taking responsibility in highly stressful situations he is content to let her make all the decisions in their lives and he is happy with this situation because she has shown him over the past ten years that that have been married only love, trust and an occasional bad temper!

Seems to me this person doesn't want a wife, he wants a mother..

[mesquite]

I have an acquaintance, friend and occasional golfing buddy who is married to lovely Thai lady.

They are somewhat unusual as she is the dominant (Boss) person in the relationship, this to the extent that whilst everything they have is mostly (75%) from his finances she controls day to day and indeed all future financial planning like Margaret Thatcher would if she were still around.

The lady also has a terrible temper which she occasionally loses control over and then gets at her quiet peace loving husband with child like slapping and the poor sap just takes it without moaning or groaning

I believe the above is much more common here than farangs want to admit.

Edited November 3, 2014 by mesquite

[benalibina]

I have an acquaintance, friend and occasional golfing buddy who is married to lovely Thai lady.

They are somewhat unusual as she is the dominant (Boss) person in the relationship, this to the extent that whilst everything they have is mostly (75%) from his finances she controls day to day and indeed all future financial planning like Margaret Thatcher would if she were still around.

The lady also has a terrible temper which she occasionally loses control over and then gets at her quiet peace loving husband with child like slapping and the poor sap just takes it without moaning or groaning

I believe the above is much more common here than farangs want to admit.

What surprised me was the use of the word...lovely....referring to his friends wife.

Every controlfreak suffers from serious disorders. That marriage will not end well, most likely....little boys get older.

[n210mp]

I have an acquaintance, friend and occasional golfing buddy who is married to lovely Thai lady.

They are somewhat unusual as she is the dominant (Boss) person in the relationship, this to the extent that whilst everything they have is mostly (75%) from his finances she controls day to day and indeed all future financial planning like Margaret Thatcher would if she were still around.

The lady also has a terrible temper which she occasionally loses control over and then gets at her quiet peace loving husband with child like slapping and the poor sap just takes it without moaning or groaning

The man (NNNPD ) is well capable of taking care of himself in any situation that you wish to imagine.

He is getting on but fit and healthy, short tough and even possibly lethal if you got on the wrong side of him, I understand that he also was a guest in some of the UKs maximum security establishments for a while in his younger days.

He once was a very wealthy person employing many people in his various business interests. Now in the twilight of his years He is content to have his life organised by this wonderful lady whom he adores.

When I ask him why he allows her to be such an aggressively dominating person with him his answer is interesting

He says that He has never been loved by anyone in his life like his wife, 20 years his junior by the way takes care and loves him.

She cooks both Western and Thai/Chinese food for him and treats him like a King around the house.

In the beginning of their relationship which was a bit stormy with him always being in charge and wanting his own way he soon learned that indeed she was better at organising their daily life in Thailand and certainly better at getting the best out of tradesmen, Banks, shops and anywhere where his wifes top negotiating skills could be used to his/their advantage

She lays his clothes out for him daily and and then fusses over him,adjusting this or pulling his shirt straight.

After a lifetime of being in charge and taking responsibility in highly stressful situations he is content to let her make all the decisions in their lives and he is happy with this situation because she has shown him over the past ten years that that have been married only love, trust and an occasional bad temper!

Seems to me this person doesn't want a wife, he wants a mother..

You definitely have a penchant for "Understatement" in your posts Soutpeel

Isn't there a saying that goes along the lines of what a man desires with his wife, goes something along the lines of;

A whore in the bedroom

A cook in the kitchen

Maybe a "Mother" in the home

My friend has got all of those desired qualities in his wife and is extremely happy with his partner whether it be in the house, kitchen or bedroom.

Many men different minds, many birds different kinds,

The fact is that after knowing this couple for at least 6 years my Mrs and I agree that they are happy with each other and that is the point isn't it!

What floats your boats could possibly sink someone elses.