Divorce - Is she entitled to anything?

[LemmyDude]

Hi all,

I got married in Thailand in 2008 at an amphur office.

My Thai wife moved to the UK in 2009.

Unfortunately things didn't work out for us and we eventually decided to split up in November of last year.

We still lived with each other even though we decided to split up and tried to remain friends.

Throughout our marriage I paid for all of the household bills, rent, car bills and house repairs etc.

She didn't contribute anything for the whole 6 years. She worked for a number of years during that time but not for the full 6 years.

I even let her live with me rent/bill free after we had split up so that she could save up some money and pay off her credit card bills.

She eventually went back to Thailand in October.

She originally told me that she didn't want any money from me and she just wanted to be free.

However, I have just found out that she has booked a flight back to the UK in a couple of days.

I wanted to go to the amphur in Thailand to sort out the divorce before she comes back but she said that she would only do it there if I paid her £10K

There is now no chance that I can fly out to Thailand to sort this out before she comes back to the UK as she is refusing to reply to my messages.

She says that she wants to sort out the divorce in the UK now.

I tried to make her understand that it would cost both of us lots in terms of legal fees etc and it would take about a year to sort it out.

I am wondering if she has a claim to any of my savings considering she didn't contribute anything to running the household.

I have all my bank statement etc to prove this.

We don't have any kids and we didn't buy any property during our marriage.

I am happy to give her some money to help her move on but is she making unreasonable demands?

I am just wondering how costly this could be for me to go through the divorce courts in the UK and is there a chance that she might not be eligible for any money from me?

Thanks in advance

[AnotherOneAmerican]

She is entitled to,

At least half your home, maybe more, and residence in said home with an exclusion order for you until sold.

At least half any savings and investments you made in the last 6 years, judge would probably just award 50/50 on the lot.

Half any pension you earned in that 6 years.

Half of your NI payments, for the time she didn't earn any.

UK divorce law is brutal.

And as she isn't working, and you are, she gets legal aid, and you don't.

That means at the end you get to pay all her legal fees as well as your own.

(as legal aid is generally recovered from the working spouse)

Strangely,

she can afford the very best lawyer, as she has to pay nothing up front, while you probably can't.

A mediocre lawyer in the UK, in a contentious divorce, will cost about 5,000UKP/month and up (that's each).

Whatever you do, don't let her back in the house under any circumstances for any reason at any time (change the locks now, front and back).

If she calls at your house, do not open the door to her, record what she says through the door.

All and any meetings with her should be in public places in front of many witnesses, I would suggest only meeting during arbitration, which can be arranged very cheaply by your lawyer, about 50UKP/hour.

At the moment she has voluntarily relinquished her rights of residence in your home, which may prevent her getting a court order to stay in it (with you out) and you can claim she deserted you.

I say may, because if she claims she left because she was frightened of you, threatened by you, or beaten by you, then she's back in, any you're out.

PS

Don't mention 'rent free', she was your wife, expecting her to pay rent would be considered 'controlling behaviour' which is a form of abuse as far as UK family court is concerned.

Edited November 13, 2014 by AnotherOneAmerican

[Jip99]

She is entitled to,

At least half your home, maybe more, and residence in said home with an exclusion order for you until sold.

At least half any savings and investments you made in the last 6 years, judge would probably just award 50/50 on the lot.

Half any pension you earned in that 6 years.

Half of your NI payments, for the time she didn't earn any.

UK divorce law is brutal.

She is obviously being well advised and a smart move on her part to want a divorce in the UK.

The £10k is beginning to look like a good offer.

[A1Str8]

I agree. Clearly, she is receiving advice from someone knowledgeable.

I would tell her that i changed my mind and i don't want to divorce.

I know you want to and you can later but you have to think about how you will play it smartly as she is clearly after your money. Just to buy time and confuse her, do not divorce right now. Postpone it. You don't want to marry another woman right away i guess so it's not a problem.

Edited November 13, 2014 by A1Str8

[David48]

Just a thought ... she's thinking in round numbers.

Maybe counter offer with an agreed Bt 100,000 payable as the divorce papers are signed in Thailand.

She still saves face and a tidy sum for her efforts.

Good luck with the process.

[BlackJack]

yes

easy to get into and expensive to get out of

Thai marriage not registered at Embassy or Consulate OK

BUT

UK has Common Law and so as you lived with her in UK as man and wife then you are on the hook

[marioc]

She is entitled to,

At least half your home, maybe more, and residence in said home with an exclusion order for you until sold.

At least half any savings and investments you made in the last 6 years, judge would probably just award 50/50 on the lot.

Half any pension you earned in that 6 years.

Half of your NI payments, for the time she didn't earn any.

UK divorce law is brutal.

She is obviously being well advised and a smart move on her part to want a divorce in the UK.

The £10k is beginning to look like a good offer.

I agree 100%.

Pay the 10.00o quid and put and end on it.

It's not too bad if you can afford it.

[Grindting]

Give her the £10k Jesus christ man, get that paper first. Give her the £10k and while U are sorting it out move all of your money, sell your house, car, change your name. Run run run !

Edited November 14, 2014 by Grindting

[sixthelement]

I run a business in Pattaya and my secretary always tell us that she would always go for a British man instead of other nationalities.

Now I understand why...

My uncle is British and told me how much of a mascarade British law on marriage is.

He says, I quote: 'the second the ink is dry, you say bye bye to 50% of all your assets'

[xtrnuno41]

Beware if the switch is really made !

Then you can expect war, she has right on her side.

mariage means 50/50 no matter what, even if you had a million before mariage.

And then additional alimony dont know how long it will be in england to pay for it with 6 years.

also she has rights on your pension.

Maybe 10k is a bargain.

Find a lawyer as soon as possible and ask for advise and when she is there try to do together with 1 lawyer and sort out.

Maybe redraw your money from the bank and say you spend it.

you have been out to forget the bad feelings and spend all on bars girls and racetracks.

Otherwise you can turn it in to her.

Remember if she really switched in her mind , then you have a totally different woman !!

[xtrnuno41]

maybe some other advise for future

Never marry again !!

Mariage is an institute and mostly the women are off well when divorcing

It can kill you some time for real.

Or marry a rich one on 50/50 base.

[Tywais]

Flame removed

[In Search of Space]

She's getting friends advice, but she can take you for something, lucky no kids otherwise you lose the lot

[TheSiemReaper]

There are a lot of incredibly badly informed people about what is and isn't true under UK divorce law. What is most true is that if you call a solicitor in Thailand and file for divorce there today... she can't file in the UK. Given a lack of cross-border enforcement between the two nations; a Thai court could give her 100% of your stuff and she'd still get $0 in reality. A British court may not be as lenient on you. Stick the boot in first and stick it in hard.

[Jip99]

Is Lemmy there ?

I would hate to thing that this is a troll post.

[Jip99]

There are a lot of incredibly badly informed people about what is and isn't true under UK divorce law. What is most true is that if you call a solicitor in Thailand and file for divorce there today... she can't file in the UK. Given a lack of cross-border enforcement between the two nations; a Thai court could give her 100% of your stuff and she'd still get $0 in reality. A British court may not be as lenient on you. Stick the boot in first and stick it in hard.

I would be advising her to invest £600 to fly to the UK and visit a UK lawyer.

[lormakmak]

I really do not know about the above saying she has a claim on half of everything as that wasn't my experience when I got divorced earlier this year.

My situation was married 3 years and got married in uk

I already owned my property before she came and she contributed zero towards the house and any bills

But I kicked her out/told her to leave which she did

She then made contact with me a couple of months later and said wanted a divorce, wouldn't tell me where she was living and would only give me a friends address to send the paper work to, in the mean time I had been to a divorce lawyer and already had things in place as in this country you need a reason to get divorced so was divorcing her for unreasonable behaviour(I won't go into the reasons but they were justified) she then proceeded to ignore 2 letters regarding the divorce 1 from my lawyer and the other from the court when I filed for divorce but they had both been signed for and the proof was there.

Eventually the court accepted our petition to get divorced without her being present as she had her chance to respond and didn't bother.

If you can prove that it was all you paying then I got a feeling with the right lawyer you will be fine.

your missus just like my ex I suspect it being counselled by someone who reckons they know a bit more than what an actual lawyer would so I suggest you visit one right away and see where you stand instead of reading the scare mongers on here who are telling you she's getting half of everything... the laws have changed since the 1980's and the massive thing you have in your favour is no children/dependants other wise yes you would be bang in trouble....

cheers

[sustento]

There's no such thing as a 'common law' wife in the UK.

[TheSiemReaper]

There's no such thing as a 'common law' wife in the UK.

You would be right, if you weren't so wrong; common law status exists in Scotland and while English law does not recognize common law marriage, it does recognize the concept of "palimony" for long-term relationships with significant assets at stake too... be very careful on this.

[grabitanrun]

So, take the 10k, you'll easily eat that up on solicitors bills - mine cost me £32k

If she's determined to take you for all she can get, then fight it, I contested every detail and reduced the settlement down by around £200k.

Pre-marital assets can be argued as out of scope, main advice is if she goes for broke then make it hard, if she cannot live in your house, she has to find somewhere to live, the longer you drag it out, the more she will miss Thailand and take a settlement to go home.

In the end I sacked my solicitors and finished it off myself, barraging her solicitors with queries which they are obliged to respond to, also remember that getting legal aid in a lot harder these days, which may help your case.

[HUAHIN62]

It doesnt matter if you divorce in the UK or Thailand she is entitled to 50% of all your assets. If you enter into a pre-nup you could be better off in Thailand. If you decide to pay her the 10 k you must do this through a laywer to make certain there is no further claims, although I think such an agreement could be declared void in a UK court.

[vogie]

She is entitled to,

At least half your home, maybe more, and residence in said home with an exclusion order for you until sold.

At least half any savings and investments you made in the last 6 years, judge would probably just award 50/50 on the lot.

Half any pension you earned in that 6 years.

Half of your NI payments, for the time she didn't earn any.

UK divorce law is brutal.

And as she isn't working, and you are, she gets legal aid, and you don't.

That means at the end you get to pay all her legal fees as well as your own.

(as legal aid is generally recovered from the working spouse)

Strangely,

she can afford the very best lawyer, as she has to pay nothing up front, while you probably can't.

A mediocre lawyer in the UK, in a contentious divorce, will cost about 5,000UKP/month and up (that's each).

Whatever you do, don't let her back in the house under any circumstances for any reason at any time (change the locks now, front and back).

If she calls at your house, do not open the door to her, record what she says through the door.

All and any meetings with her should be in public places in front of many witnesses, I would suggest only meeting during arbitration, which can be arranged very cheaply by your lawyer, about 50UKP/hour.

At the moment she has voluntarily relinquished her rights of residence in your home, which may prevent her getting a court order to stay in it (with you out) and you can claim she deserted you.

I say may, because if she claims she left because she was frightened of you, threatened by you, or beaten by you, then she's back in, any you're out.

PS

Don't mention 'rent free', she was your wife, expecting her to pay rent would be considered 'controlling behaviour' which is a form of abuse as far as UK family court is concerned.

So what are you saying, does she get anything?

[transam]

It doesnt matter if you divorce in the UK or Thailand she is entitled to 50% of all your assets. If you enter into a pre-nup you could be better off in Thailand. If you decide to pay her the 10 k you must do this through a laywer to make certain there is no further claims, although I think such an agreement could be declared void in a UK court.

Not true...............

[LemmyDude]

Hi All,

Thanks for all your advice. I have contacted the citizens advice bureau and am going to make an appointment with a solicitor next week.

I am going to change the locks on my house as a few people have recommended that to me.

I really hate what is happening. I wish we could have remained friendly about this as I probably would of helped her out a bit to help her move on.

My ex sent me an email saying that she asked for some money to help with her rent when she first arrives here.

Do you think I could try to get things back on track by agreeing to help her with her rent for a short period of time and then get a divorce back in Thailand?

[transam]

Hi All,

Thanks for all your advice. I have contacted the citizens advice bureau and am going to make an appointment with a solicitor next week.

I am going to change the locks on my house as a few people have recommended that to me.

I really hate what is happening. I wish we could have remained friendly about this as I probably would of helped her out a bit to help her move on.

My ex sent me an email saying that she asked for some money to help with her rent when she first arrives here.

Do you think I could try to get things back on track by agreeing to help her with her rent for a short period of time and then get a divorce back in Thailand?

Just tell her to take care of her stuff............

[AnotherOneAmerican]

I really do not know about the above saying she has a claim on half of everything as that wasn't my experience when I got divorced earlier this year.

My situation was married 3 years and got married in uk

3 years isn't long enough in the UK, 5 years seems to be the danger point.

And also she wasn't there telling the court what a violent monster you are.

[AnotherOneAmerican]

Hi All,

Thanks for all your advice. I have contacted the citizens advice bureau and am going to make an appointment with a solicitor next week.

I am going to change the locks on my house as a few people have recommended that to me.

I really hate what is happening. I wish we could have remained friendly about this as I probably would of helped her out a bit to help her move on.

My ex sent me an email saying that she asked for some money to help with her rent when she first arrives here.

Do you think I could try to get things back on track by agreeing to help her with her rent for a short period of time and then get a divorce back in Thailand?

Any help you give her, will just make it easier for her to hang around while she tries to fleece you.

You will be paying her legal fees, but she still needs money to live on while that's happening.

Give her nothing.

I'm assuming she has UK citizenship or PLR/ILR already.

Else how would she be going back to the UK.

Edited November 14, 2014 by AnotherOneAmerican

[SOTIRIOS]

..ideally you should be able to sue her for extortion.or attempted extortion....

.....so good at bleeding you dry then crying the victim........

[Rjc123]

She is entitled to,

At least half your home, maybe more, and residence in said home with an exclusion order for you until sold.

At least half any savings and investments you made in the last 6 years, judge would probably just award 50/50 on the lot.

Half any pension you earned in that 6 years.

Half of your NI payments, for the time she didn't earn any.

UK divorce law is brutal.

And as she isn't working, and you are, she gets legal aid, and you don't.

That means at the end you get to pay all her legal fees as well as your own.

(as legal aid is generally recovered from the working spouse)

Strangely,

she can afford the very best lawyer, as she has to pay nothing up front, while you probably can't.

A mediocre lawyer in the UK, in a contentious divorce, will cost about 5,000UKP/month and up (that's each).

Whatever you do, don't let her back in the house under any circumstances for any reason at any time (change the locks now, front and back).

If she calls at your house, do not open the door to her, record what she says through the door.

All and any meetings with her should be in public places in front of many witnesses, I would suggest only meeting during arbitration, which can be arranged very cheaply by your lawyer, about 50UKP/hour.

At the moment she has voluntarily relinquished her rights of residence in your home, which may prevent her getting a court order to stay in it (with you out) and you can claim she deserted you.

I say may, because if she claims she left because she was frightened of you, threatened by you, or beaten by you, then she's back in, any you're out.

PS

Don't mention 'rent free', she was your wife, expecting her to pay rent would be considered 'controlling behaviour' which is a form of abuse as far as UK family court is concerned.

[inzman]

She wants you to pay her rent so she can stay in the UK to sue you? Not fricking gonna happen! Wise up.