Marriage tips

[RickvanHeijningen]

Runaway before it is to late , a woman that wants to change you, never works for longtime relation .

[MauiSteveBKK]

From Experience:

1. Let her "hang" with you & friends and see what ya'll do. She'll want no part.

2. Help her to understand some time apart is dee mak mak.

3. Don't make it a "rule" ... just talk it out.

4. She'll want to change a whole bunch more than just this. Get ready!

[Floater 7]

I'd pick a good wife over friends any day. Friends come and go.

[sead]

If she demands now!! You dont want to know what she is going to demand later when (hopefully not) you are married. I would thank her for showing the real herself now and not after you are married.

If you think its hard to leave her now, how would it be with a Sin sot, child, car,house, in the bagage. If you are 30 years of age then ok, go see what happens. If you are 60, then i dont think i want to spend 10 years of my life to gamble on that girl.

[micmichd]

Maybe you should ask her.

I did.

[micmichd]

Your description of her is short, but If her behavior changed after it all started so good and she is now trying to isolate you from your friends my advise is to try to rule out some very common personality disorders here starting with Borderline (BPD). If she's a borderliner the best you can do is run away as far as possible, but prepare your escape!

Do you think Thai women are psychotic when they economically behave like Farang women ?

[micmichd]

<deleted>. If you need to ask a Web forum relationship advice regarding the woman you're about to marry then you're not ready for marriage.

Please google for 'cognitive dissonance'

[micmichd]

i lived with a control freak in the uk, ok to start with , i had a stressful job, it realy got me down, her arguing all the time, ( good example 2am i use the loo, she gets up to check if i had put the seat down, got a bollocking for that ha ha) so in the end i gave her 30 days to get out, never been happier. so my advice is DON'T DO IT, it will get worse believe me.

lol, you are in Thailand now?

[callaway]

A woman marries the perfec man for her. After marriage they spend the rest of time trying to change you. When they break up her comment is "you are not the same man I married". Well that is correct or they have wasted a lot of years trying to change you.

[micmichd]

Yes, it happens all over the world, women want to change their men. Why? Who knows?

Genetic programmes?

Brain Chemistry

[micmichd]

Callawa,

Precisely, that's what my gf said:

You were an old man when you came, you're a young man now

In Farangistan they called me a lunatic, a hypersexual maniac, a criminal pimp, a terrorist, an ungrateful defamer (in this sequence)

I call them scammers over there

[ggt]

This is the age old dilemma my friend...plays out between men and women in all countries and cultures...

The possessive attitude in not likely to get better...the more you try to diffuse the situation...the more determined she will become to limit your access to friends and freedom to move about freely...

Good Luck!

[ChiangraiTony]

It's about Fear. Sometime deep rooted.

If you both enjoy love of one another then you have some work to do to help her work through her issues.

Good luck to both of you.

[lanng khao]

I wear the trousers in our relationship, got to iron the fukers first though..

[wwest5829]

Hmm, how long have you been in Thailand? I too have faced this, I think many farang face this due to the desire to lock in security on the part of the female Thai. Bottom line is for you to decide what you are comfortable with in the relationship. My wife absolutely was adamant that I am not to go out to bars at night. As this was not a critical matter for me (rather stay home with a glass of wine and watch TV with her) this was not an issue. When she stated she did not want me to go to a particular restaurant due to a friendly, cute waitress, I had to say that there were many cute girls in Thailand but as long as she took care of me needs, I would not want to loose her. She could not dictate where I could eat on this basis. We have had to dicuss only two critical matters but both times we talked, I explained that this was what I needed and she understood that was the way it was to be. Yes, gentle conversation, and she is more important than my wanting to act as an independent single male so it works for us. It may sound cold but you should never forget that you are the male, assuming you are providing the financial security and that there are others who might be interested if your ways are not to her liking.

[micmichd]

This is the age old dilemma my friend...plays out between men and women in all countries and cultures...

The possessive attitude in not likely to get better...the more you try to diffuse the situation...the more determined she will become to limit your access to friends and freedom to move about freely...

Good Luck!

From the female side she might observe that Farang men are not always too happy if they invite a lady to a bar and then she shows up with all her girlfriends.

If two circles intersect, one shouldn't cling to the margins too much.

Anyway, is the OP still around?

[recycler]

Your description of her is short, but If her behavior changed after it all started so good and she is now trying to isolate you from your friends my advise is to try to rule out some very common personality disorders here starting with Borderline (BPD). If she's a borderliner the best you can do is run away as far as possible, but prepare your escape!

Do you think Thai women are psychotic when they economically behave like Farang women ?

There's a big difference between economic behavior and a personality disorder and it's very important for future happiness to spot it in time I know from very personal experience.

[kinmaew]

Sounds like you are more concerned about your friends, stay with them then.

[micmichd]

According to Wikipedia, the diagnosis of a personality disorder (ICD F60) obviously depends on a given cultural context, am I right?

If so, then one and the same person might be considered insane in one culture, and a perfect fit to another culture.

If so, then it takes nothing but an airplane to change your personality label, and you measure nothing else but the difference between to social contexts. Consequently, the more stable a person is in one context, the more "uncurable" she/he is in another context.

That would imply to label Thainess as a mental disease.

[micmichd]

Runaway before it is to late , a woman that wants to change you, never works for longtime relation .

Nor do runaways.

[macca3248]

Here is your hat and coat ,what is your hurry ! Plenty more fish in the sea !

[Loles]

Run away Man, RUN AWAY !!!

[patrick1968]

Get out ,,,,of there before is 2late ,,,,,

[mrfaroukh]

You just imagine you are now getting conditions before marriage, once you are married then (I am too scare to mention)

[herb59]

we have both trousers and i like that.

[MyFriend You]

Is it just me that noticed??? Fish Fingers must be laughing his/her proverbial @$$ off at the responses - going on 5 pages now and he/she hasn't responded to a single one, not even the estupido ones..................for me this is one that deserves my response:

[micmichd]

Right.

Good luck, Fish Fingers, and all the best

[micmichd]

we have both trousers and i like that.

My gf slipped into my jeans. Perfect fit for her, but not for me anymore (the jeans)

[ozyjon]

You are now in Thailand SO remember who you are (your culture, your heritage)

I'm not trying to preach to you, i remember being in the same situation as you and

thinking to myself, in my country i had respect from my friends and peers i was

looked up to and many came to me for advice, here in Thailand i was a second class

citizen being treated like a dog, it all started sweet but the shee who matters soon

started to lay down the law, many times i would look at my passport to see who i was

and where i came from, you are now in Thailand, you have no rights, you will own

nothing,,, learn to bark and get used to it, send me your address so i can send you

a wedding gift.

PS. If you are uncertain about your future go ahead and get married but only do the Thai Buddah ceremony

and don't register the marriage, you have nothing to gain from it (look at the politics there, how secure do

you think you are) after all you are not Thai, you don't belong, farang.

[burger1]

I'd pick a good wife over friends any day. Friends come and go.

So does wifes. But friends usually accept you as you are