Relationships between thai men and falang ladies

[pinkchompoo]

I'm a female foreigner living in Thailand with a Thai boyfriend - I haven't seen too many other Thai-falang couples of this type, usually it's a Thai lady with a falang man. Does anyone know the reasons for this, I mean, is there a cultural reason that more women would choose foreigner partners than man?
Just something on my mind

[bendejo]

In the world of backpackers you'll see more of it. The falang's money will be a factor, but they're usually in complete denial about that. It gets comical when the woman speaks of how disgusting the concept of of sex tourism is.

Edited November 28, 2014 by bendejo

[sipi]

It is a matter of choice. I don't think culture has much to do with it.

Anyway; it sounds like you are both happy, hope it all works out for you and BF.

[kannot]

I dont see many...in fact I havent seen any yet but then I dont get out much due to work.

How did you meet?

You have it a lot easier to stay in Thailand than us men anyway, good luck.

[David48]

Pinky ... if it's not a rude question the relative ages of you both?

Tell me to butt out if it's NOMFB

Good luck with your Visa.

[canuckamuck]

The characteristics of the average Thai male produced by this fairly homogenous culture, generally clash with the needs, expectations and aspirations of the average western female. Misogyny, maturity, and creativity are often factors, as well as possibly income and stature too.

IMO when you see couplings of Thai males with western females it is because one or both of them are more unique than the status quo.

Edit to add: The couples of this type that I know personally are people I enjoy spending time with.

Edited November 28, 2014 by canuckamuck

[teatree]

The main reason seems to be physical attraction. Farang women generally don't find Oriental/East Asian men attractive and to a certain extant vice vera.

Thai men are usually small and Farang women relatively big, they don't make the best fit.

[Berkshire]

Not too many Thai single fathers out there with custody.

But seriously, there's many reasons, some biological, some social. I'd say the main one is that western women have a much higher standard for a mate than a western man. Most western women would not consider a mate that she could barely communicate with, little prospects, no education, from a dysfunctional family, dirt poor, i.e., some peasant farm boy from the sticks. Most western men would accept such a girl and even less. The kind of Thai guys that are sought after by western women are also in high demand by Thai females, so there's very few available Thai guys who'd choose a farang over a Thai.

I will say that pretty much every Thai male/farang female couple I've met in Thailand are pretty well adjusted and about as normal as a western couple. Much more so than a typical farang male/Thai female couple. Of course, the numbers are much fewer, but telling nevertheless.

Edited November 29, 2014 by Berkshire

[wow64]

There is a British girl in my mates condo who is dating a moto taxi driver. So it does happen.

The farang girls at work either try to hook up with other farang at work or hold on to an old flame from their home country.

I will be honest in my opinion if a girl who is considered an 8 or a 9 in her home country comes here they are no longer an 8-9 more like a 6 and they have to compete with a lot more 9s and 10s.

Sent from my c64

Edited November 29, 2014 by wow64

[geronimo]

I've known a few western girls that have had Thai boyfriends and most went bad because the Thai men felt threatened by the independence and lack of submissiveness in the girl.

[NanLaew]

The characteristics of the average Thai male produced by this fairly homogenous culture, generally clash with the needs, expectations and aspirations of the average western female. Misogyny, maturity, and creativity are often factors, as well as possibly income and stature too.

IMO when you see couplings of Thai males with western females it is because one or both of them are more unique than the status quo.

Edit to add: The couples of this type that I know personally are people I enjoy spending time with.

Good to see that you, like myself, have a much more discerning criteria than most when it comes to picking partners for threesomes.

[Swiss1960]

Dear Pink

How many foreign women do you see in Thailand compared to men? Probably 1 in 1'000? And there you are why you do not see the kind of relationships foreign woman - Thai man.

This world still is a world where single men travel / work abroad much more frequently than single women, thus the poor Thai men just don't have the chance to find foreign women for relationship.

[NanLaew]

I've known a few western girls that have had Thai boyfriends and most went bad because the Thai men felt threatened by the independence and lack of submissiveness in the girl.

Was it the western girls or was it the Thai boyfriends that told you that?

This notion of a 'lack of submissiveness' in a woman is from a bygone age when western men on foreign work assignments or military postings were comparatively rare. No doubt that this sort of sage advice was handed down by the 'old hands' who mentored the wide-eyed, new arrival to the orient when the latter was contemplating his first cross-cultural coupling.

Nowadays, it's beyond inappropriate and to me, it's just plain creepy.

[morrobay]

You deserve each other.

[mesquite]

Dear Pink

How many foreign women do you see in Thailand compared to men? Probably 1 in 1'000? And there you are why you do not see the kind of relationships foreign woman - Thai man.

This world still is a world where single men travel / work abroad much more frequently than single women, thus the poor Thai men just don't have the chance to find foreign women for relationship.

Among young people, I see relative equal numbers of farang men and women here in Chiang Mai.

[canarysun]

I must admit i do find many of the Thai Ladies to be very " materialistic " and with the constant talk about " money " i find an absolute " turn off " ( to the point of just walking away...) Not all Thai ladies of course but many of them! So when i meet tall Russian ladies " swaggering about in a g string bikini " on the beach ( most afternoons... ) I find them to be far more enjoyable to talk to as they are on holiday and don't " harp on about money ".Being a simple farang living a simple life here in Thailand i find nothing more boring than the mention of money and so sometimes find the " farang lady " more appealing.......... F.J x

[canuckamuck]

Not too many Thai single fathers out there with custody.

But seriously, there's many reasons, some biological, some social. I'd say the main one is that western women have a much higher standard for a mate than a western man. Most western women would not consider a mate that she could barely communicate with, little prospects, no education, from a dysfunctional family, dirt poor, i.e., some peasant farm boy from the sticks. Most western men would accept such a girl and even less. The kind of Thai guys that are sought after by western women are also in high demand by Thai females, so there's very few available Thai guys who'd choose a farang over a Thai.

I will say that pretty much every Thai male/farang female couple I've met in Thailand are pretty well adjusted and about as normal as a western couple. Much more so than a typical farang male/Thai female couple. Of course, the numbers are much fewer, but telling nevertheless.

Women have always had an easier time marrying above their class for various reasons. Not so sure it is an east west thing.

Some ladies have more mojo than others.

[BudRight]

They usually don't last long. Then the woman swears off Thai men and finds it difficult to meet Western guys. Then frustration sets in and she leaves. This all takes 1 to 2 years.

[fish fingers]

Too many generalisations here. Plenty of white girls with asian men in europe - I guess its what floats your boat

plus plenty of large/tall thai men (and I've heard thai women say many thai men are well endowed)

[petermik]

Too many generalisations here. Plenty of white girls with asian men in europe - I guess its what floats your boat

plus plenty of large/tall thai men (and I've heard thai women say many thai men are well endowed)

sorry cannot help it

[pigeonjake]

Too many generalisations here. Plenty of white girls with asian men in europe - I guess its what floats your boat

plus plenty of large/tall thai men (and I've heard thai women say many thai men are well endowed)

sorry cannot help it

WHY BECAUSE HE SAID THERE TALL,,,,,LOL

[CMHomeboy78]

Do a little social research...

Ask a wide variety of Thai women how they rate Thai men as faithful husbands and good providers for their wives and children.

[Gringogazzer]

I've seen a few relationships on my travels but the last was this time last year.

A German woman with a Thai man.

I got talking to her about the issues etc in Europe, nice lady.

They were in the middle of making a small bungalow resort together & she was on her way back to Germany, work, to keep the finances up because to build a resort takes money.

Once that plane was airborne on average every other night a young lady would be brought home from the bar.

Only 1 example from a whole nation but just about the same story from Thai women with foreign men.

I genuinely hope yours is a good one & didn't base my relationship on all the bad story's I'd heard.

[drgoon]

I know a Thai / Kiwi couple here in NZ. He, Thai, is a devoted husband and father and a damn hard worker.

They met when she was on her OE in Chiang Mai. He was a taxi driver with reasonably good English language skills, good looking and jovial. They hit it off.

She came back nearly a year later to see him. They spent nearly 3 months together after which she paid his way to NZ. He has been her 15 years, has adjusted well to our culture and climate and is a top bloke.

Over here we are very easy with multicultural relationships and people really don't give it a second thought anymore. I can say that I haven't seen many Thai men with farang women in Thailand... I don't get around in that social group when I visit.

[ZAKY]

To my knowledge its more common to see a falang woman with a black african guy, very rarely with a thai or other asian man. On the otherside i know that japanese women relationship with thai men are very common.

[Lukecan]

Cause thai man are not manly, they are short and usually scrawny. Thats why farang women go after farang/middle eastern guys or african guys. Women like tall and muscular men, usually very few asian men have these qualities, and those who have these qualities can easily score a farang women.

[Kaalle]

You see it a lot in the muay thai camps. Farang females and Thai trainers.

Edited November 29, 2014 by Kaalle

[pinkchompoo]

OP here...To answer some of the questions -
I met my current boyfriend 3 years ago, when I was travelling Thailand and trying to hang out with locals. We became friends but didn't really entertain the possibility of a relationship since we both knew I had to return home and finish my Masters degree. We stayed in touch, and decided to give a relationship a try when I came to do an internship in BKK, and now we've been in a relationship for a year. We're both in our mid-20s, although I am a few years older than him.
I have spoken with many of my Thai friends and they did bring up some of the negative things posted here. I'm lucky that my boyfriend has pretty strong English skills, and my Thai is...getting there. Fortunately I don't have to worry about him being after my finances as I was a struggling student for much of the time he has known me, and he was earning more than me He has matured a lot since we've been together - he has started studying, saying that he wants to get a better job, and be sure that he can set us up for the future.

Starting to discuss visa options and staying here long term. Whatever happens, its been a great ride here in Thailand

Thank you everyone for the responses, its been interesting!

[geronimo]

I've known a few western girls that have had Thai boyfriends and most went bad because the Thai men felt threatened by the independence and lack of submissiveness in the girl.

Was it the western girls or was it the Thai boyfriends that told you that?

This notion of a 'lack of submissiveness' in a woman is from a bygone age when western men on foreign work assignments or military postings were comparatively rare. No doubt that this sort of sage advice was handed down by the 'old hands' who mentored the wide-eyed, new arrival to the orient when the latter was contemplating his first cross-cultural coupling.

Nowadays, it's beyond inappropriate and to me, it's just plain creepy.

Nobody told me. I figured it out for myself.

[patrick1968]

yes easy because of $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$