So, I just returned from a summer in Krabi. I now have a Thai boyfriend who I absolutely love and miss so much. California is a bit far from Krabi, and I am a high school teacher, so chances are I won't be able to see him until next June. I guess I am just looking for advice from ladies in similar situations. Plus, I would love to dicuss anything about Thai culture, especially about Thais in love relationships, and specifically Muslim Thais. Anyhow, I know this is a broad topic, but this is my first post. I am really glad to have found this site.

Welcome to the forum.

If theres one thing I'll say, waiting a year before you see your boyfriend again is going to be very hard on you, and long distance relationships in general can be difficult to mantain, but there's many a person on this board who has done it with sucess, so hang it there.

Krabigirl...

Being a high school teacher gives you a good chance of finding work in Thailand.. maybe something to explore...?

good luck

Totster

So, I just returned from a summer in Krabi. I now have a Thai boyfriend who I absolutely love and miss so much. California is a bit far from Krabi, and I am a high school teacher, so chances are I won't be able to see him until next June. I guess I am just looking for advice from ladies in similar situations. Plus, I would love to dicuss anything about Thai culture, especially about Thais in love relationships, and specifically Muslim Thais. Anyhow, I know this is a broad topic, but this is my first post. I am really glad to have found this site.

You asked for advice from ladies, and you already have two replies from guys - well here is another one

Welcome to Thai Visa, and good luck with your relationship. To be honest, in my experience long distance relationships are hard to maintain - so perhaps try to do something about that such as Totster's suggestion.

I don't know much about Thai Muslims, as I live in the north east, but I expect SBK will be able to give you some good advice when she logs in

Good luck

thai men are about the least monogamous on the face of this earth so chances are you will not be his only girlfriend, and on top of that you are trying to do it long distance for a year? how long have you known him? is he a beach boy?... well good luck is all i can say... at least you do have teacher qualifications, that gives you a way to stay in thailand long term if things do work out.

I'm in California and had a 2 year long distance relationship with a Lady in Honduras (I'm male).

It is very tough, always wondering what the other person is doing.

It can be done (we broke up for other reasons) but takes two dedicated people.

So, I just returned from a summer in Krabi. I now have a Thai boyfriend who I absolutely love and miss so much. California is a bit far from Krabi, and I am a high school teacher, so chances are I won't be able to see him until next June. I guess I am just looking for advice from ladies in similar situations. Plus, I would love to dicuss anything about Thai culture, especially about Thais in love relationships, and specifically Muslim Thais. Anyhow, I know this is a broad topic, but this is my first post. I am really glad to have found this site.

Welcome..I am happy to meet you. I also have a Thai boyfriend, much younger than I am, but that doesn't seem to make a heck of a lot of difference in Thailand. I have known my Thai guy for about a year, and we correspond almost daily, and occasionally I call him. He's from a poor family, is a hard worker, very serious about bettering his life. This is often impossible for many Thais, as I know. You will have to make many compromises together, communicate communicate communicate. I plan to return for the 3rd time to Chaingmai in 7 weeks to see him again and enjoy other friends I have made there. Have about decided to leave my family and relocate to Thailand eventually. But my guy is still too immature and I am waiting for him to grow up. He wants to be with me forever, take care of me. etc. I have met his family and we are all friends. Go slowly, take your time and see if he is indeed serious. PM me anytime; I have learned much about Thailand and its wonderful people during the past year. There is such a huge difference in cultures; try to get hold of the book 'Thai Fever" and read it together. We have done this and understand each other better. Remember that in Thailand, "Family Comes First". many things to adjust to, but you can do it if indeed you are serious! Jai Yen Yen!!!

i had almost 5 years long distance relationship with my J-gf (now my wife).

the long distance relationship was supper tough, to make it more difficult, our parent was totally disagree with us. anyway we did manage to get married last year. ( a lot of thank to the internet and MSN)

i did also have a long distance relationship with the thai ex-girlfiend. (by the way my wife is Japanese. I am thai.) we broke up in lest than a year because i found out that she got another guy back in thailand. i did told the girl that i want to brake up before i leave the country for my education in the US. but she said she won’t, and she will proof me. then she did proof me!! i was stupid to believe her. anyway that was a very long time ago and now i am with a lot better person.

my personal experience with muslim (both thai and foreigner muslim).......

not good! (you may want to skip what am i about to say from now)

i have never found a trustworthy muslim (domestic or international). sorry to said that.

"it was just my own bad experience, it doesn’t mean all."

my wife’s sister had an Indonesia muslim boyfriend.

they broke up after 3 or 4 months. the reason? the muslim guy keap lying in everything. it was not surprised me.

everything is mean everything, until his last day in japan.

i did honestly told my wife`s sister and predicted their ending since the first day i knew the news. i actually did email the man to proof me wrong!

it is not easy to make long distance relationship work.

it need more than love to make it work.

i hope your man is a good one. (difference from all the muslim i knew.) anyway trust your instinct.

long distance relationship is hard but it is not impossible.

good luck.

thai men are about the least monogamous on the face of this earth so chances are you will not be his only girlfriend, and on top of that you are trying to do it long distance for a year?

Girlx, that is quite a broad and general statement unfairly directed at thai men. From what I have seen, all men have the ability to be full of crap when professing their love. Living in thailand, you tend to see it more with....thai men.

So here is the question, forget nationality, would you living in Davis, date a man who lived in Miami? whom you would see once a year? Would you expect him to be faithful?

Then the issue of religion. If he is a strict Muslim, then I would say either you learn a heck of a lot about the religion and prepare to convert, and accept their backward way of thinking where women are concerned or back out.

I suggest you read every single thread posted in the ladies forum.

If you met on a beach, beware,

otherwise, anything is possible but as it has already been stated, a long distance relationship is difficult.

However, if you do finally get together in the same place, take heart, several of us have a successful relationship with a Thai man and couldn't be happier.

Good luck!

Edited August 11, 200619 yr by gisele

Well, I can only agree with a few of the previous posters.

Girlx sees beach boys, they tend to be unfaithful and are generally after a short term girlfriend. So, as she says, if he is a beach boy (ie working in a bar on the beach) then beware.

As for the muslim thing, well I live in a muslim neighborhood and most of them are good, hardworking, honest, decent guys. A few are unfaithful but in general, are all good family men. So, I have a very different view of Muslims than thaiintokyo. That said, I personally would not marry a Muslim simply because to do so would require conversion, and I don't agree with the muslim religions attitudes towards women.

As for long distance relationships, well they can work if you already have an ongoing relationship but I don't see it working when you barely know the guy.

It is a very hard course to stay, for both of you, so good luck to you because I think you will need it.

I suggest you read every single thread posted in the ladies forum.

- that should pass the year

Agree with reading "Thailand Fever", but with the qualification that I am not sure to what extent it accurately describes Thai Muslims - I think the focus is Thai Buddhists. Having said that, it would still help him understand you.

thai men are about the least monogamous on the face of this earth so chances are you will not be his only girlfriend, and on top of that you are trying to do it long distance for a year?

Girlx, that is quite a broad and general statement unfairly directed at thai men. From what I have seen, all men have the ability to be full of crap when professing their love. Living in thailand, you tend to see it more with....thai men.

yes i agree, lots of men are full of crap, but you have got to be kidding if you don't think that consideration of monogamy is not almost completely lacking in thailand. prostitutes and mia nois and a sense of male entitlement are culturally ingrained into them since birth. a thai man is actually more respected the more women he has.

Girlx sees beach boys, they tend to be unfaithful and are generally after a short term girlfriend. So, as she says, if he is a beach boy (ie working in a bar on the beach) then beware.

SBK you love to trivialize my experience in thailand in this way, but you are wrong. i have been with one beach boy ever, and he wasn't even really a beach boy until a month before i met him. but i have thai male friends from every single class, all over thailand. i don't think you generalizing about beach boys is any different from my generalizing about thai men period. had rin beach boys, sure, treat their women like crap. but i know some beach boys where i live who have long term girlfriends that they support and are completey loyal to (until they go home). most of them though, beach boy or not, frequent prostitutes and aspire to having multiple girls. thais do not look at monogamy in the same way westerners do, and especially long distance- if you are out of sight you are out of mind. you swear your husband is monogamous SBK and i hope for your sake it is true, but i seriously doubt it. i have never met a single thai male in 8 years of being in thailand who was faithful 100% of the time*. in a lot of cases, i know this because the men try to pick me up.

*edit: with exception of the much older men who no longer have it in them.

Edited August 12, 200619 yr by girlx

Well, no need to get nasty and personal girlx. I wasn't trying to imply that you went out with beach boys only that, where you live, you see them. Not date them.

As for the insinuations about my husband well, I am not a fool, and if my husband ever cheated on me I would certainly know. Since you don't know him and only pick up your judgements from the people you have met then I suggest you reconsider your attitude.

You have lived in touristed areas, those are the people you meet. If you feel that is trivializing your experience then that is your problem. Yes, Koh Phangan is a touristed area but, of the multitude of relatives and friends that my husband has, most are not in the tourist business. So, I have formed my judgements based on people who live more traditional lives. Certainly some of them cheat on their wives, either with mia nois or with prostitutes. But not all, even according to my husband, not all. Maybe 65%-70%.

So, girlx, since my relationship is certainly not the topic at hand and really has nothing to do with it, I'll kindly ask you to keep your uninformed opinion to yourself.

... then don't comment on mine.

Koh Phangan is a touristed area but, of the multitude of relatives and friends that my husband has, most are not in the tourist business. So, I have formed my judgements based on people who live more traditional lives.

you assume it's different from mine knowing absolutely nothing about mine but the few scraps i have mentioned here....

I only had a Thai boyfriend once and I'm almost definite that he wasn't faithful to me. Admittedly though we weren't together for very long before I had to leave Thailand. But it was his idea to keep in contact and the relationship while I was back home, not mine.

I wasn't aware that Thai men had this reputation of being totally unfaithful etc, but I think there's truth in it (with exceptions as always.) It would be nice to maybe hear from some Thai men on here that it isn't, who have or had long term and long distance relationships?

Goodluck with yours anyway Krabigirl, I hope it works out for you. A good way to keep in contact by the way is msn voice messenger - just like the phone except much cheaper or free obviously if you have broadband. But maybe you know about that already.

Let us know how it goes anyway.

Go Girlx Go

Krabigirl...

Being a high school teacher gives you a good chance of finding work in Thailand.. maybe something to explore...?

good luck

Totster

I agree, you got the teaching skills already, maybe you teach English already otherwise you can take the TEFL course. I have seen loads ads under classifieds. Check the major newpapers webpages. It might give you an idea.

thai men are about the least monogamous on the face of this earth so chances are you will not be his only girlfriend, and on top of that you are trying to do it long distance for a year?

Girlx, that is quite a broad and general statement unfairly directed at thai men. From what I have seen, all men have the ability to be full of crap when professing their love. Living in thailand, you tend to see it more with....thai men.

yes i agree, lots of men are full of crap, but you have got to be kidding if you don't think that consideration of monogamy is not almost completely lacking in thailand. prostitutes and mia nois and a sense of male entitlement are culturally ingrained into them since birth. a thai man is actually more respected the more women he has.

Well I'll be damned.

No more different than 80% of the worlds male population (notches on the bed post, and bragging in the bar).

So the question is, when to raise girls to see a "user beware, men are like the lottery" sign on the foreheads of men.

thai men are about the least monogamous on the face of this earth so chances are you will not be his only girlfriend, and on top of that you are trying to do it long distance for a year?

Girlx, that is quite a broad and general statement unfairly directed at thai men. From what I have seen, all men have the ability to be full of crap when professing their love. Living in thailand, you tend to see it more with....thai men.

yes i agree, lots of men are full of crap, but you have got to be kidding if you don't think that consideration of monogamy is not almost completely lacking in thailand. prostitutes and mia nois and a sense of male entitlement are culturally ingrained into them since birth. a thai man is actually more respected the more women he has.

Well I'll be damned.

No more different than 80% of the worlds male population (notches on the bed post, and bragging in the bar).

So the question is, when to raise girls to see a "user beware, men are like the lottery" sign on the foreheads of men.

Ahh come on, La Reina.

You just have not met me!!!

Ahh come on, La Reina.

You just have not met me!!!

What! You already have the mark??

Or your bed has a metal frame...

Edited August 13, 200619 yr by LaReina

Just got back online after a long illness and am really depressed to see GirlX going on about the same ###### stuff as she always does. GirlX get it into your head that some of us have faithful Thai husbands.partners. I don't want to hear any more of your crappy statements and generalisations on here. In fact, as I am sure you have been told before, you are in close proximity to being branded a racist troll. SOME, is that clear, SOME men are unfaithful and some are not. It has nothing to do with country of origin. The Thai system of second wives is comlex and understood by both women and men. Until you are qualified to tell newcomers all there is to know about Thai males, please go back to your day job.

Seonai

don't tell me what to think please, i have never said that ALL of any type of person is one way. but again, i stand by my statement that monogamy is not prioritized in thailand, and you are blind if you can't see evidence of that everywhere.

Edited August 13, 200619 yr by girlx

I only had a Thai boyfriend once and I'm almost definite that he wasn't faithful to me. Admittedly though we weren't together for very long before I had to leave Thailand. But it was his idea to keep in contact and the relationship while I was back home, not mine.

I wasn't aware that Thai men had this reputation of being totally unfaithful etc, but I think there's truth in it (with exceptions as always.) It would be nice to maybe hear from some Thai men on here that it isn't, who have or had long term and long distance relationships?

Goodluck with yours anyway Krabigirl, I hope it works out for you. A good way to keep in contact by the way is msn voice messenger - just like the phone except much cheaper or free obviously if you have broadband. But maybe you know about that already.

Let us know how it goes anyway.

I am Thai man, almost Thai men will find more if they have more choices? CLEAR?

Wrong again GirlX, I am actually too tired to explain it to you but monogamy is very much prioritised in SOME of the Thai population!!!!!! I don't know why you think you are better qualified than some of us out here but please understand that your opinion may scare some newcomers. No one is telling you how to think, just be a little more fair ...... and perhaps add a little sunshine to your life, you do sound awfully hard and bitter.........

not in the least. i have a very happy life! i am just realistic. your husband probably doesn't cheat on you- you would know best.

not in the least. i have a very happy life! i am just realistic. your husband probably doesn't cheat on you- you would know best.

Wow, I didn't mean to incite a riot....though I appreciate the different viewpoints....all I can say is that at this point I think all the evidence I have so far doesn't suggest he is the "money hungry" type beach boy...but I am a little suspicious about the second wife thing...I asked him, if being muslim, he wanted 2 wives, and he answered with an emphatic NO...regardless I think that is kind of the situation I am in to some degree...or at least it is more comparable than worring about him being a farang hopping beach boy ...Anyhow I'd love more info on this second wife thing. Also, ironically while in Vietnam, in between visits to thai boyfriend, I read a book a friend gave me called the Ethical Slut...she got it because she fell in love with a man in an open relationship and had to learn how to deal with it, and has consequently come to really like the idea...the book definitely relaxed my mind a bit about the world's obsession with monogomy...now if I could only rid myself of jealousy...

Thanks!!

Krabigirl

I don't even know why I am bothering to answer such threads........ but...... get yourself a copy of the KORAN in English dear new person and you will read that a Muslim man has to be very well off to be able to support more than one wife. Monogamy, amongst Muslim men who actually understand the religion, is normal.

GirlX obviously has had many bad experiences with Thai men so we shall leave her out of this conversation for now. There are many terrible Thai men, my first husband included, many of them will 'love' you so much that they will folow you for years (personal experience)..... but NOT ALL OF THEM HAVE PROBLEMS KEEPING THEIR D*** IN THEIR PANTS.

And hey Krabigirl, get your butt on to the Krabi forum to help me make it more interesting!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My husband is from Krabi too!!!!!!!

don't tell me what to think please, i have never said that ALL of any type of person is one way. but again, i stand by my statement that monogamy is not prioritized in thailand, and you are blind if you can't see evidence of that everywhere.

No, but it is offensive when you point at specific relationships, such as mine.

It is easy to say all Thai men cheat when such a great number do openly. But, I wonder how many western guys cheat, just keep it quiet? This is a culture that allows men (not women) to have multiple partners if they so choose, without much fear of repercussion. Hence, it is all in the open. As women change (and are changing even now) so too will the men be forced to change.

As for the idea that a man should remain faithful to a woman he just met as she is gone for a year (or vice versa), well, sorry but that is ludicrous. I wouldn't expect it back home either. There is no real shared experiences and the relationship can't have grown to the point that both feel a deep and abiding loyalty to the other.

As for the whole Muslim multiple wife idea, well, I don't know of any Muslim men in our village who have more than one wife. Buddhists, yeah, but Muslims, no. Also, my understanding of the Koran is that the husband cannot take a second wife without the first wife's permission.

But this is all neither here nor there as you are not married. I would be more concerned about the girl in Bangkok story. If he can't marry her because she's Buddhist then why are you more acceptable? Also, I must point out that one of our staff is married to a Muslim man and she was Buddhist. She converted to Islam to marry him and his family and the local community accept her just fine.

So, I guess in the long run, it is all up to you how far you want to take this. But, just beware that if you invest in this emotionally you may find your heart broken. Or you may find the kind of love and happiness that I have found. As in every relationship, its always a crap shoot