Failed expats and the lies they tell others and themselves as to why ...

[kungpao]

It is surprising to see that the "failure" rate (returning to one's own country) is so high. It would be nice to see the specific statistics/some survey. However, maybe 50% (or higher) is those who think they will love Thailand forever and then find out they miss things about home after a few years.

Any idea on how long the average farang, who had Thailand as a permanent place, stays in Thailand? 5 years? 10?

We also heard of farang men and their Thai wives who get tired of Thailand after moving there after living abroad.

Anyway, interesting topic. Makes one wonder who "survives" and who doesn't.

[rayongchelsea]

I sometimes think the real failures are those who continually post anti-Thai posts on here and other sites.

Agree.

No. There can be no greater failure than those who have lived in their home countries and have moved here and then slag it off. E.g " sadness of Britain " thread, just started.

[Robert2006]

For me life in Thailand proved itself a lot different than I thought it would be. The people that I thought were kind hearted (the “Land of Smiles”) in reality more than not revealed themselves to be con artist and jealous thieves. I never dreamed I was moving to such a raciest country, in the US the pigment level in an individual’s skin is more or less meaningless, I find the Thai’s preoccupation with skin color revolting.

Wow. I'm an American and I find the level of your ignorance/denial/lie rather breathtaking.

"...in the US the Pigment level in an individual's skin is more or less meaningless...?"

I'm speechless, especially in this day and age where issues related to race in the USA have been splattered across the news day after day. Racism is a huge problem in the US, and it goes well beyond police brutality. Have you been living under a rock?

So the rest of your rant related to Thailand pretty much has no credibility as I'm sure you know even less about Thailand than your home country.

Wow, Einstein you’re a gifted analysts. I’m an American and I’m speechless, your level of preoccupation with the color of someone’s skin is rather breathtaking.

Intellectual and mental expertise are the sole determinations I use in the judgments I make regarding individuals, I don’t consider what color their skin happens to be, it is meaningless. Turn off the mainstream news your being programed.

PS. It’s not a rant it is my outlook of why I am dissatisfied with living in Thailand.

Now wait a minute, don't try to weasel out of this one. You weren't talking about yourself. You said "in the US the pigment level in an individual’s skin is more or less meaningless." Your words. Obviously, this is not true. I can give you a long list of recent events which indicates that America still has simmering issues regarding race and the "pigment level of someone's skin." Do you deny this? At least stand by your own words, don't be such a coward.

I’m not “weaseling out” of anything, I am declaring facts and stating opinions about myself as an American living in Thailand and about the individuals I know in America, and skin color is absolutely, totally, unequivocally meaningless to me. If you choose to judge an individual’s value based on the pigmentation in their skin that is your choice, I find that method of evaluation not only useless but an inaccurate method of appraising individual value.

As I have already stated previously you are being played by the US media / government. Turn off the mainstream media, its fiction. Is it that difficult for you to see? Obviously this is the divide and conquer technique used by government hyping and staging events in an effort to acquire some additional controls over its subjects.

This focus and emphasis on skin color is pathetic; an unwanted expenditure of my cognitive resources, the thread is about why individuals have failed to adapt and decided too or were forced to leave Thailand.

Coward? I don’t think so; I’ll debate you on any subject anytime I have no fear of a mental dual with you.

[JockPieandBeans]

It is better to have tried and failed, than never to have tried at all.

A man who has never experienced failure, has never experienced anything.

[AYJAYDEE]

I’m not “weaseling out” of anything, I am declaring facts and stating opinions about myself as an American living in Thailand and about the individuals I know in America, and skin color is absolutely, totally, unequivocally meaningless to me. If you choose to judge an individual’s value based on the pigmentation in their skin that is your choice, I find that method of evaluation not only useless but an inaccurate method of appraising individual value.

As I have already stated previously you are being played by the US media / government. Turn off the mainstream media, its fiction. Is it that difficult for you to see? Obviously this is the divide and conquer technique used by government hyping and staging events in an effort to acquire some additional controls over its subjects.

This focus and emphasis on skin color is pathetic; an unwanted expenditure of my cognitive resources, the thread is about why individuals have failed to adapt and decided too or were forced to leave Thailand.

Coward? I don’t think so; I’ll debate you on any subject anytime I have no fear of a mental dual with you.

you included all america in your statement and its not true. pity you cant admit where you erred. or that you can't spell duel.

[Jip99]

I sometimes think the real failures are those who continually post anti-Thai posts on here and other sites.

There are quite a few who never post anything positive and will even try to get an anti dig in to a positive topic.

These are the "All Thais are" types who don't appear to have ever been outside their own little bubble.

I wonder if some do stay here or if they just got scammed by their ladyboy on their one visit and are so bitter and twisted they have to take out their bile in any way they can.

Meanwhile, each to his own, my life style would probably not suit most who live in this country nor would I want to live their life.

Some might consider me a failure because my life doesn't conform to their version of good but I still think I am better off here than where I came from.

Life is good, live it your way and don't knock others for doing it their way.

If you are happy with your lot then it is unlikely that you are a failure in the truest sense.

Please don't link failure with criticism of Thais. Rose tinted glasses do not mean you are a success and I would suggest that the most successful amongst us hold a balanced view of Thailand and the Thais.

More than one Thai acquaintance has said to me "The only thing wrong with Thailand is (some of) the Thai people" so please don't put them on a pedestal where they are immune from criticism.

[Robert2006]

I’m not “weaseling out” of anything, I am declaring facts and stating opinions about myself as an American living in Thailand and about the individuals I know in America, and skin color is absolutely, totally, unequivocally meaningless to me. If you choose to judge an individual’s value based on the pigmentation in their skin that is your choice, I find that method of evaluation not only useless but an inaccurate method of appraising individual value.

As I have already stated previously you are being played by the US media / government. Turn off the mainstream media, its fiction. Is it that difficult for you to see? Obviously this is the divide and conquer technique used by government hyping and staging events in an effort to acquire some additional controls over its subjects.

This focus and emphasis on skin color is pathetic; an unwanted expenditure of my cognitive resources, the thread is about why individuals have failed to adapt and decided too or were forced to leave Thailand.

Coward? I don’t think so; I’ll debate you on any subject anytime I have no fear of a mental dual with you.

you included all america in your statement and its not true. pity you cant admit where you erred. or that you can't spell duel.

As I suggested earlier eat another Twinkie it is obvious your nutrition level is not adequate to support your minimal brain function. Of course I cannot make an accurate statement about the thoughts of the 330 million minds living in America; I didn’t realize I would have to take it down to such a rudimentary level and make such an obvious distinction for your understanding.

A single sentence in a five paragraph commentary about Thailand referring to America and you persist bringing the conversation back to America isn’t the tread about Thailand? Why don’t you go back and read it so that when you engage me your comments have meaning associated with life in Thailand connected with your replies.

I find your comment about my level of grammatical skill simply laughable, are you serious? Structured replies formatted in English are unquestionably not on display in your simplistic one-line responses.

[AYJAYDEE]

I’m not “weaseling out” of anything, I am declaring facts and stating opinions about myself as an American living in Thailand and about the individuals I know in America, and skin color is absolutely, totally, unequivocally meaningless to me. If you choose to judge an individual’s value based on the pigmentation in their skin that is your choice, I find that method of evaluation not only useless but an inaccurate method of appraising individual value.

As I have already stated previously you are being played by the US media / government. Turn off the mainstream media, its fiction. Is it that difficult for you to see? Obviously this is the divide and conquer technique used by government hyping and staging events in an effort to acquire some additional controls over its subjects.

This focus and emphasis on skin color is pathetic; an unwanted expenditure of my cognitive resources, the thread is about why individuals have failed to adapt and decided too or were forced to leave Thailand.

Coward? I don’t think so; I’ll debate you on any subject anytime I have no fear of a mental dual with you.

you included all america in your statement and its not true. pity you cant admit where you erred. or that you can't spell duel.

As I suggested earlier eat another Twinkie it is obvious your nutrition level is not adequate to support your minimal brain function. Of course I cannot make an accurate statement about the thoughts of the 330 million minds living in America; I didn’t realize I would have to take it down to such a rudimentary level and make such an obvious distinction for your understanding.

A single sentence in a five paragraph commentary about Thailand referring to America and you persist bringing the conversation back to America isn’t the tread about Thailand? Why don’t you go back and read it so that when you engage me your comments have meaning associated with life in Thailand connected with your replies.

I find your comment about my level of grammatical skill simply laughable, are you serious? Structured replies formatted in English are unquestionably not on display in your simplistic one-line responses.

you continue to avoid the fact that colour IS in fact a very important factor in american life. and you claiming it isnt just because it isnt to you is a distortion of the facts. and grammar and spelling are two different hings..

[Robert2006]

I’m not “weaseling out” of anything, I am declaring facts and stating opinions about myself as an American living in Thailand and about the individuals I know in America, and skin color is absolutely, totally, unequivocally meaningless to me. If you choose to judge an individual’s value based on the pigmentation in their skin that is your choice, I find that method of evaluation not only useless but an inaccurate method of appraising individual value.

As I have already stated previously you are being played by the US media / government. Turn off the mainstream media, its fiction. Is it that difficult for you to see? Obviously this is the divide and conquer technique used by government hyping and staging events in an effort to acquire some additional controls over its subjects.

This focus and emphasis on skin color is pathetic; an unwanted expenditure of my cognitive resources, the thread is about why individuals have failed to adapt and decided too or were forced to leave Thailand.

Coward? I don’t think so; I’ll debate you on any subject anytime I have no fear of a mental dual with you.

you included all america in your statement and its not true. pity you cant admit where you erred. or that you can't spell duel.

As I suggested earlier eat another Twinkie it is obvious your nutrition level is not adequate to support your minimal brain function. Of course I cannot make an accurate statement about the thoughts of the 330 million minds living in America; I didn’t realize I would have to take it down to such a rudimentary level and make such an obvious distinction for your understanding.

A single sentence in a five paragraph commentary about Thailand referring to America and you persist bringing the conversation back to America isn’t the tread about Thailand? Why don’t you go back and read it so that when you engage me your comments have meaning associated with life in Thailand connected with your replies.

I find your comment about my level of grammatical skill simply laughable, are you serious? Structured replies formatted in English are unquestionably not on display in your simplistic one-line responses.

you continue to avoid the fact that colour IS in fact a very important factor in american life. and you claiming it isnt just because it isnt to you is a distortion of the facts. and grammar and spelling are two different hings..

This is so elementary I would think you would have acquired this knowledge at this point in your life. Skin color is only important to intellectual morons, people that need to make excuses for their failures.

Intelligent, motivated, resourceful people are successful no matter the color their skin, they adapt, they don't quit, they don't make excuses and they don't fail. They don’t waste their time thinking about their skin color they are busy succeeding.

I can only assume by your posts that you spend your time making excuses and thinking like a failure.

[Jip99]

you included all america in your statement and its not true. pity you cant admit where you erred. or that you can't spell duel.

As I suggested earlier eat another Twinkie it is obvious your nutrition level is not adequate to support your minimal brain function. Of course I cannot make an accurate statement about the thoughts of the 330 million minds living in America; I didn’t realize I would have to take it down to such a rudimentary level and make such an obvious distinction for your understanding.

A single sentence in a five paragraph commentary about Thailand referring to America and you persist bringing the conversation back to America isn’t the tread about Thailand? Why don’t you go back and read it so that when you engage me your comments have meaning associated with life in Thailand connected with your replies.

I find your comment about my level of grammatical skill simply laughable, are you serious? Structured replies formatted in English are unquestionably not on display in your simplistic one-line responses.

you continue to avoid the fact that colour IS in fact a very important factor in american life. and you claiming it isnt just because it isnt to you is a distortion of the facts. and grammar and spelling are two different hings..

This is so elementary I would think you would have acquired this knowledge at this point in your life. Skin color is only important to intellectual morons, people that need to make excuses for their failures.

Intelligent, motivated, resourceful people are successful no matter the color their skin, they adapt, they don't quit, they don't make excuses and they don't fail. They don’t waste their time thinking about their skin color they are busy succeeding.

I can only assume by your posts that you spend your time making excuses and thinking like a failure.

That is, of course, if their skin colour allows them the opportunity in the first place.

I see that the arrival of the new year has done nothing to improve your rudeness to other posters.

[AYJAYDEE]

This is so elementary I would think you would have acquired this knowledge at this point in your life. Skin color is only important to intellectual morons, people that need to make excuses for their failures.

Intelligent, motivated, resourceful people are successful no matter the color their skin, they adapt, they don't quit, they don't make excuses and they don't fail. They don’t waste their time thinking about their skin color they are busy succeeding.

I can only assume by your posts that you spend your time making excuses and thinking like a failure.

that doesnt alter the fact that it matters to a great many of your countrymen and you trying to tell us it is rare in your country is simply not true. but keep ducking and dodging that fact pal, its entertaining.

[thailiketoo]

This is so elementary I would think you would have acquired this knowledge at this point in your life. Skin color is only important to intellectual morons, people that need to make excuses for their failures.

Intelligent, motivated, resourceful people are successful no matter the color their skin, they adapt, they don't quit, they don't make excuses and they don't fail. They don’t waste their time thinking about their skin color they are busy succeeding.

I can only assume by your posts that you spend your time making excuses and thinking like a failure.

You wrote, "Skin color is only important to intellectual morons, people that need to make excuses for their failures."

I don't think the EEOC would agree with you.

The U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC) is responsible for enforcing federal laws that make it illegal to discriminate against a job applicant or an employee because of the person's race, color, religion, sex (including pregnancy), national origin, age (40 or older), disability or genetic information. It is also illegal to discriminate against a person because the person complained about discrimination, filed a charge of dis

[sirineou]

perhaps its because they, like you, mistakenly feel it to be failure.

if you have a goal and you fail to achieve that goal would you declare success or would you think you failed?

or would you rationalist your failure as something other than what it is?

always either/or with you aint it. folks have goals, things turn out to be working out differently than they anticipated and they change their goal. its called adaptability!

No not always either/or with me, in fact you really dont know me well enough to make this assessment.,

Sure , when people fail in their original goals, people adapt, I know I do, and I am sure you do also, but that does not mean that you did not fail in your original goal.

One can derive benefit from failure, one can learn , adjust expectations and set new goals. Others blame their failure on others , and continue to do the same thing, expecting different results.

One definition of insanity is, doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

[Thaiberius]

Thailand is full of failed ex-pats. There is something about Thailand that attracts the sort of people who hover around the lower reaches of farang society. Many have failed before they found Thailand and others failed while they were in Thailand. I have sympathy for those who have tried and failed but very little sympathy for those who have gravitated towards Thailand having already become failures. There are also those who have let the fantasy, for many that is Thailand, become a reality. There is no way back for them.

[MJP]

Thailand is full of failed ex-pats. There is something about Thailand that attracts the sort of people who hover around the lower reaches of farang society. Many have failed before they found Thailand and others failed while they were in Thailand. I have sympathy for those who have tried and failed but very little sympathy for those who have gravitated towards Thailand having already become failures. There are also those who have let the fantasy, for many that is Thailand, become a reality. There is no way back for them.

Harsh, but in many instances I think this is a fair comment. People who should never have become expats did so and on the back of favourable exchange rates which were never going to last. Your last sentence should resonate with all expats. Always make sure you have a way out. At one point years ago I very nearly fell into that trap, would have got ugly.

Thailand did become a magnet for "expats", mind you the same can be said for Spain and all manner of holiday destinations.

To me, an expat is either someone retired abroad on a good sustainable pension or someone who works in their chosen industry/career abroad. There's lots of very successful expats in this regard, plenty on this forum in fact. But those who just decided they've had enough of their home countries and are winging it, well those aren't expats. They're long term holiday makers, many disasters waiting to happen.

[billd766]

Consider this scenario.

Not uncommon.

You tell all your friends and family in the west, I'm moving to Thailand to live for life. I'm selling my house, car, etc.

Then you show up again in two years or even ten.

Don't kid yourselves.

To those people, they will think you did not fulfill your intentions, regardless of the loaded word failure or not.

I said that in 1999 except that my ex wife got the house and here I am, still in Thailand some 16 years later and still with no interest in returning to the land of my birth.

I plan to finish living my life in Thailand with my 49 year old wife and 10 year old son and if I die tomorrow or in another 20 years I won't regret my decision to live and die here.

[Camelot]

I think that some of these so-called 'failed expats' were failures long before they became expats.

[Living in a cartoon]

My acid test for a failed expat would be that they are stuck wherever they are. I lived in Thailand for about 5 years with annual trips back home or other spots around the globe. Wasn't foolish enough to get heavily invested, though I've been coming here for a couple of decades.

Thailand is not what it was 20 years ago. I can think of a lot of reasons why one would not want to reside here.

But there are a lot of guys, usually older, who are stuck. They live off some meager disability or old age payment from their home government. Most of them couldn't scrape up enough cash to buy a ticket home and would be in the same financial situation or worse. I don't get how some guys makes no provision for their retirement other than social security. It's like they never thought about that when they were in their prime earning years?

[Jingthing]

I guess the moral of the story of this thread is that there are many ways to fail and many ways to succeed.

However, I think based on the article in the OP, the intended focus was more narrow.

Mostly about this:

Person moves abroad to be an expat with a timeline in mind

Person aborts the expatriation much earlier than the intention

Reasons and tales told about the reasons being the key really

Like if the reason was taking care of the ailing parent, a reason with no shame, no lies to tell

But if the reason being some personal weakness, like unwillingness to learn the language when it is needed, possibly some shame and some porkies to tell

Edited January 1, 2015 by Jingthing

[MJP]

My acid test for a failed expat would be that they are stuck wherever they are. I lived in Thailand for about 5 years with annual trips back home or other spots around the globe. Wasn't foolish enough to get heavily invested, though I've been coming here for a couple of decades.

Thailand is not what it was 20 years ago. I can think of a lot of reasons why one would not want to reside here.

But there are a lot of guys, usually older, who are stuck. They live off some meager disability or old age payment from their home government. Most of them couldn't scrape up enough cash to buy a ticket home and would be in the same financial situation or worse. I don't get how some guys makes no provision for their retirement other than social security. It's like they never thought about that when they were in their prime earning years?

That is the reality for many who retired to Thailand when the Baht was low, only to become trapped as the Baht rose against the currencies their pensions are paid in.

I very much doubt many meet the financial requirements for the retirement visa by now, probably not for quite some time.

Personally, I have put a lot into the place over the years, but only to support the children. And when I say a lot, I mean a vast proportion of my meagre "wealth". I visit and spend up to six months a time there (mostly gardening, decorating and doing menial domestic chores) but have to return to work when projects come up. It's worked so far, but it's not an ideal situation.

[AYJAYDEE]

perhaps its because they, like you, mistakenly feel it to be failure.

if you have a goal and you fail to achieve that goal would you declare success or would you think you failed?

or would you rationalist your failure as something other than what it is?

always either/or with you aint it. folks have goals, things turn out to be working out differently than they anticipated and they change their goal. its called adaptability!

No not always either/or with me, in fact you really dont know me well enough to make this assessment.,

Sure , when people fail in their original goals, people adapt, I know I do, and I am sure you do also, but that does not mean that you did not fail in your original goal.

One can derive benefit from failure, one can learn , adjust expectations and set new goals. Others blame their failure on others , and continue to do the same thing, expecting different results.

One definition of insanity is, doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

it aint failure

[weegee]

I think that some of these so-called 'failed expats' were failures long before they became expats.

Some are just failures, without even being expats....

[Thaiberius]

It may be fair to say having an escape plan would be prudent.

[fey]

its not failed expats, its people who are failures before they arrive.

many more of these in thailand then other countries. it usually involves people with vices they cant control or lack of discipline in spending on women or partying and other things. your not going to be truly successful anywhere with personal problems, but they burn out faster here because the scene caters to these types.

[kungpao]

Fellow on YouTube who gets $600 a month and lives in Thailand. He's getting by it seems.

[Thaiberius]

As others have written it is wholly dependent upon how you quantify success. If you term success in monetary terms then I doubt whether whether many ex-pats who live in Thailand actually make a decent financial living, certainly not those who live in the Kingdom. If you quantify success as a feeling of well-being then I would estimate the number of success stories will be much higher. From a personal point of view I work outside Thailand and spend the majority of my non-work time there. My stress levels are virtually zero and my enjoyment of life is better than my home country of UK by ten-fold. If you judge success as being in a relationship and blending into the Thai way of life in a non-obtrusive and simple way then you I would guess that state will be enjoyable but only temporary in the majority of cases.

[thailiketoo]

its not failed expats, its people who are failures before they arrive.

many more of these in thailand then other countries. it usually involves people with vices they cant control or lack of discipline in spending on women or partying and other things. your not going to be truly successful anywhere with personal problems, but they burn out faster here because the scene caters to these types.

What is wrong with spending money on women and partying? That is what success is all about. The more successful the more women and partying. Thailand is full of successful playboys on a pension and good for the old fellas having a last hurrah with hard earned cash.

[JLCrab]

My acid test for a failed expat would be that they are stuck wherever they are. I lived in Thailand for about 5 years with annual trips back home or other spots around the globe. Wasn't foolish enough to get heavily invested, though I've been coming here for a couple of decades.

Thailand is not what it was 20 years ago. I can think of a lot of reasons why one would not want to reside here.

But there are a lot of guys, usually older, who are stuck. They live off some meager disability or old age payment from their home government. Most of them couldn't scrape up enough cash to buy a ticket home and would be in the same financial situation or worse. I don't get how some guys makes no provision for their retirement other than social security. It's like they never thought about that when they were in their prime earning years?

Thailand is not what it was 20 years ago. Neither are you (nor I).

[Jingthing]

What was this thread about again?

Oh, never mind.

[Thaiberius]

its not failed expats, its people who are failures before they arrive.

many more of these in thailand then other countries. it usually involves people with vices they cant control or lack of discipline in spending on women or partying and other things. your not going to be truly successful anywhere with personal problems, but they burn out faster here because the scene caters to these types.

What is wrong with spending money on women and partying? That is what success is all about. The more successful the more women and partying. Thailand is full of successful playboys on a pension and good for the old fellas having a last hurrah with hard earned cash.

The famous George Best quote as he lay on a bed with Miss World surrounded by cash and drinking champagne - "where did it all go wrong George?"