Sponsoring A Young Girl To Be Your Wife.

[Heng]

I sponsor two of my less than well off cousins (age 4 and 6) to go to school, but I don't plan marrying either of them. It's certainly not uncommon for older family members to support and sponsor the education of those less well off in their families and sometimes take care of those who they are not related to as well. I'd say this is entirely the norm. It's not always scholarship, it's giving business opportunities and jobs to those less fortunate as well.

As the poster above mentioned, it's entirely relative. Sure, they all cry "string'em up!" when they are under 18.... but an awful lot cry "where'd you meet her!?" or "what a samaritan you are!" when they are over 18.

Heng: this is what the OP wrote:

""I met a guy the other day who was 'sponsoring' a girl aged 12 to go through school/uni. with the purpose of marrying her in a few years time.""

My question is: what do you mean with your own comment? Do you (and/or other better-off Thai) agree with "the purpose of marrying her" in the future; knowing he's married already..and 35?

I don't quite 'get' you answer. Please clarify.

LaoPo

My point was that a lot of people sponsor less well off folks to go to school. The reasons behind such actions are as varied as the people involved. And no, I don't agree with the 'concept for the purpose of marriage' nor do I believe it's a common norm (in Roy Et or anywhere in the LOS). If the gal is a conscenting adult though, I'd be less quick to judge, as in such situations both parties tend to understand the trade off involved... like all things, it's all relative.

I recall one of my cousin's joking that she was supporting her daughter learning to play piano, paint, etc. so she could have a few artistic skills to perhaps set her ahead of the competition so as to be able to marry into the family of a friend of ours, one of the local hotel/apartment owners in Pattaya. Myself, I know she was joking. A fellow like Neeraram hearing the conversation might have thought she was dead serious though. A lot of locals sometimes joke around or say things that they don't quite mean, to foreigners.... almost like the way some adults lie to children to get them to eat their vegetables. On top of all that, there is always an opportunity for the message to get 'lost in translation,' even when the farang in question is fluent in Thai.

[kozi]

Could this 35-year-old guy be you, Neeranam?

A crime and an outrage.

This is child exploitation, human trafficking, kidnap, rape, the taking away of another human’s liberty and statutory rights.

The penalty for this is life imprisonment or a death sentence in some countries.

If this is not you, Neeranam, are you prepared to disclose the identity of the perpetrator of this misdemeanor and any others involved, to save this little girl from a horrible fate?

[Ulysses G.]

There is a German guy in my building who has put a young Thai fellow all the way through school starting many years ago. They used to live together until the Thai boy started getting older and then the German moved away and started just visiting once in a while.

He tells everyone that the Thai boy is his "son", but every time he visits, they run to the boys room for a "reunion" and then the rest of the building is treated to lots of moaning and groaning and bed banging against the wall sounds for the next few hours.

[Johpa]

A crime and an outrage.

This is child exploitation, human trafficking, kidnap, rape, the taking away of another human’s liberty and statutory rights.

The penalty for this is life imprisonment or a death sentence in some countries.

Perhaps to one who leads a comfortable life this all sounds like an outrage. But amongst the rural poor of Thailand who have few options and even fewer resources, this scenario is not seen as exploitation. It is basically an arranged marriage, something that is not uncommon. And perhaps from another perspective, it is simply a futures option on a marriage of economic convenience, a type of marriage which is extremely common in Thailand, and is perhaps the most common reason that Thai women, and women elsewhere, marry Farang men twice their age.

At least this story does not appear to involve a forced sexual relationship at a very young age as happened with Nong Plaa and her hapless elderly Prince who died of poisoning a decade ago. And it does not appear to be a situation where a 12 year old girl is sold for "medicinal" puposes to elderly Chinese gentlemen who believe that having sex with such children will provide them with improved health, the still undiscussed center of "local" pedophilia in Thailand.

Nope, it simply appears to be a promise by very poor parents to assent to a marriage at a later date, no guarantees of course, in exchange for providing room, board and tuition. Not all that different than countless young women attending even the top major colleges in Thailand, serving as mia nois in order to further their education goals. Same thing happens in other countries and the same logic and moral constraints, or lack thereof, probably explains at least half the marriages by members who post here. It is a cultural difference for sure. But not one that demands holy outrage at this point.

[lamphun]

Just to clarify: Your post indicates the guy is Thai, not farang?

Yes, he is a Thai politician.

So he's not a farang or a Thai.

Most likely he intends to manufacture a mia noi for his declining years.

[ray23]

Any sin sod involved? I would be surprised if there wasn't.

These are things of Thailand old well maybe not as old as I thought.

Arranged marriages in one form or another are common here, why would there really be eaneed for a sin sod if not.

That age difference now I don't know how common that is.

[Donz]

There is a German guy in my building who has put a young Thai fellow all the way through school starting many years ago. They used to live together until the Thai boy started getting older and then the German moved away and started just visiting once in a while.

He tells everyone that the Thai boy is his "son", but every time he visits, they run to the boys room for a "reunion" and then the rest of the building is treated to lots of moaning and groaning and bed banging against the wall sounds for the next few hours.

I think the german was into some sick stuff when the boy was younger, thats pretty sick, but nothing a baseball bat wouldnt fix

[a2396]

I think 12 is a bit young to start this. In the end she may have a better life with a good education, if she is free to make her own choices when the time comes. But, freedom of choice for poor Thai women is a bit of a luxury. It is likely that she will feel some sort of obligation to the man. But, I think one cannot judge this situation until several years into the future, when she becomes of age and will be making choices about marriage.

[Neeranam]

Could this 35-year-old guy be you, Neeranam?

A crime and an outrage.

This is child exploitation, human trafficking, kidnap, rape, the taking away of another human’s liberty and statutory rights.

The penalty for this is life imprisonment or a death sentence in some countries.

If this is not you, Neeranam, are you prepared to disclose the identity of the perpetrator of this misdemeanor and any others involved, to save this little girl from a horrible fate?

It's not me. I'm not prepared to disclose the 'perpetrator's identity.

Who am I to come to another land and tell people to change their culture?