Guest IT Manager Posted March 22, 2004 Share Posted March 22, 2004 Thias will accept you as a friend if there is something they can get out of you -Especially the Thai-Chinese. Otherwise you'll always be secretly despised as the rich falang, Thias are very jealous of money. Utter, utter, utter crap Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
englishoak Posted March 22, 2004 Share Posted March 22, 2004 I can honestly say I don't have any falang friends here in Thailand. I live in Bangkok but travel a lot in the country. I have a long standing Thai girlfriend and will certainly marry this year. I live with the extended Thai family in a two house set up. Some of the family speak moderate English and have found them to be straight and honest by any standards, Thai or Western mabe i'm lucky but I like to think i'm a very good judge of character. I have made friends with a large number of Thais of which I count none as realy close. This will take time as I have found in my home country. A big problem is the language barrier as I am a slow learner of Thai and the ability to express myself in detail is limited, so totally my fault there. I also don't find too much of a need for close contact as I get all I need from the friends I have gained in life so far. I like to think I have a balance not to expect too much from people in general and help myself before asking others. Have not, want not is my principal. What I don't have I do without. No regrets, and i get on with life happy and content most of the time. The Thai friends I have are what I call drinking partners or social aquaintances. They are always pleased to see me and we share everything on an equal basis for cost. I respect them and get similar treatment in return. Some are rich but most are not but all have a common interest which brings them together regularly throughout Thailand,which I believe is rare in Thai society. I do not wish to get too close to this set but will continue to enjoy thier company on a regular basis with no commitment. I have found in the past that casual drinking friends that you like can turn into the pains you try to avoid. A little knowledge is dangerous but a lot can prove fatal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tutsiwarrior Posted March 22, 2004 Share Posted March 22, 2004 forum administrators and the 'three chang limit' I promise to be a good tutsi from now on... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest IT Manager Posted March 22, 2004 Share Posted March 22, 2004 Thanks Toots. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
utapaortnab Posted March 22, 2004 Share Posted March 22, 2004 I think in my case, my friendship with Mr. Boonwong, who was a very rich boatbuilder in Pattaya was successful because he was used to dealing with farangs and speaking English AND the fact that his kids took an instant liking to me and I always took the time every day to pay attention to them. In the case of my neighbor who was a retired monk, my interest in learning about Buddhism and the fact that I took the time to sit and visit with him on his porch (along with many other Thai neighbors who saw him as a leader in the neighborhood) contributed to my being "accepted" as a friend. I think he saw me as being different in that I didn't drink, smoke, or chase anyone excepting my then tealok and that I was genuinely interested in learning everything I could about Buddhism. I always told him, I want to be a better me, and be at peace with the world and growing up as a Christian didn't provide me with that peace/comfort. Looking back on my life, I have made friends in all the 39 countries I've visited with the exception of Saudi Arabia and UAE AND Egypt and Turkey. Ken Bower San Antonio Texas Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tuky Posted March 22, 2004 Share Posted March 22, 2004 I can honestly say I don't have any falang friends here in Thailand. I live in Bangkok but travel a lot in the country. I have a long standing Thai girlfriend and will certainly marry this year. I live with the extended Thai family in a two house set up. Some of the family speak moderate English and have found them to be straight and honest by any standards, Thai or Western mabe i'm lucky but I like to think i'm a very good judge of character. I have made friends with a large number of Thais of which I count none as realy close. This will take time as I have found in my home country. A big problem is the language barrier as I am a slow learner of Thai and the ability to express myself in detail is limited, so totally my fault there. I also don't find too much of a need for close contact as I get all I need from the friends I have gained in life so far. I like to think I have a balance not to expect too much from people in general and help myself before asking others. Have not, want not is my principal. What I don't have I do without. No regrets, and i get on with life happy and content most of the time. The Thai friends I have are what I call drinking partners or social aquaintances. They are always pleased to see me and we share everything on an equal basis for cost. I respect them and get similar treatment in return. Some are rich but most are not but all have a common interest which brings them together regularly throughout Thailand,which I believe is rare in Thai society. I do not wish to get too close to this set but will continue to enjoy thier company on a regular basis with no commitment. I have found in the past that casual drinking friends that you like can turn into the pains you try to avoid. A little knowledge is dangerous but a lot can prove fatal. sound like friends to me... or am I barking up the wrong tree? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
et33.com Posted March 30, 2004 Share Posted March 30, 2004 mmm... what is a """retired monk""" i thought one would be a monk for life or dis-robe to be a non-monk again what does a """retired monk""" do after he ""retire"" mmm... can i too go be a monk for three years in thailand and then become a """retired monk""" mmm... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boon Mee Posted March 30, 2004 Share Posted March 30, 2004 mmm...what is a """retired monk""" i thought one would be a monk for life or dis-robe to be a non-monk again what does a """retired monk""" do after he ""retire"" mmm... can i too go be a monk for three years in thailand and then become a """retired monk""" mmm... A Monk can retire whenever he decides to and return to the Wat again for another period. The "program" is extremely flexible. My father-in-law has just returned to the WAT after an extended period away teaching. He's happy as a lark! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bluecat Posted March 30, 2004 Author Share Posted March 30, 2004 Otherwise you'll always be secretly despised as the rich falang, Thais are very jealous of money. No, in fact, they are not. If your living conditions in your country would be similar to the one of the majority of Thai people and you would have "foreigners" visiting you with the same "difference" in purchasing power and "burning" money (by Thai standards) like there is no tomorrow, you would probably be very, very upset,... They are not,... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
utapaortnab Posted March 30, 2004 Share Posted March 30, 2004 Retired Monk answer: In the case of my beloved neighbor, when the senior/elder/head monk of the local WAT was dying, he selected my neighbor to replace him. My neighbor was very highly respected in the village. What the neighbor had to do was to "divorce" his family and take permanent refuge at the WAT. Then, some years later, when their was another monk who he felt was fully qualified to replace him, he basically returned to his family after appointing his replacement to take over his duties. Same thing with my wife's father. The elder/head monk was dying of cancer, chose my father-in-law who also is highly respected in his village (Chaiyaphum Village II), and he left the family and is still serving as the head monk of their village. Every year the family tries to get him to "retire" and return home. He is in his 70's and has some health problems but at the present time there just is no one who is willing or qualified to replace him. Perhaps this year's "crop" will produce a leader come October who is willing to take the responsibility and he will finally be able to "retire" and enjoy more time with us all. Ken Bower San Antonio Texas Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aaaaaa Posted March 30, 2004 Share Posted March 30, 2004 if it can help the origianl purpose of this topic: I do have "real" thai freinds - more than 1. and I'm "farang" too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boon Mee Posted March 30, 2004 Share Posted March 30, 2004 if it can help the origianl purpose of this topic:I do have "real" thai freinds - more than 1. and I'm "farang" too. You're not alone..... aaaaa Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aaaaaa Posted March 30, 2004 Share Posted March 30, 2004 yeah, I suspected as much - and have no any doubts about it, Boon! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OldAsiaHand Posted March 30, 2004 Share Posted March 30, 2004 Otherwise you'll always be secretly despised as the rich falang, Thais are very jealous of money. No, in fact, they are not. If your living conditions in your country would be similar to the one of the majority of Thai people and you would have "foreigners" visiting you with the same "difference" in purchasing power and "burning" money (by Thai standards) like there is no tomorrow, you would probably be very, very upset,... Ah, I think you're being a little starry-eyed here, mate. Your observations might very well be right if applied only to rural Thais, but the original poster had a good point if you're dealing with, in particular, middle and upper class Thais in Bangkok or some other urban area. I've lived in Bangkok for nearly twenty years, and I'd have to agree that -- on the whole -- those folks really don't like us. They see us as threats, not as possible friends. My advice is that, speaking again in generalities, when you start thinking too many urban Thais might be real friends of yours, you probably could use a reality check. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nam Kao Posted March 30, 2004 Share Posted March 30, 2004 Why cant falangs see this, pretty clear to me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Basher Posted March 30, 2004 Share Posted March 30, 2004 Otherwise you'll always be secretly despised as the rich falang, Thais are very jealous of money. No, in fact, they are not. If your living conditions in your country would be similar to the one of the majority of Thai people and you would have "foreigners" visiting you with the same "difference" in purchasing power and "burning" money (by Thai standards) like there is no tomorrow, you would probably be very, very upset,... Ah, I think you're being a little starry-eyed here, mate. Your observations might very well be right if applied only to rural Thais, but the original poster had a good point if you're dealing with, in particular, middle and upper class Thais in Bangkok or some other urban area. I've lived in Bangkok for nearly twenty years, and I'd have to agree that -- on the whole -- those folks really don't like us. They see us as threats, not as possible friends. My advice is that, speaking again in generalities, when you start thinking too many urban Thais might be real friends of yours, you probably could use a reality check. Superb, right on the button! Bash Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dutchy Posted March 31, 2004 Share Posted March 31, 2004 most of the time you got to stick to family and their friends...you have a built-in structure and no one has a hidden agenda...the wife stands guard like a stone wall to deflect unwelcome proposals...some years ago in Indonesia some bule (falang) associates made an effort to develop friendships with local people. Unfortunately, the locals had rupiah signs in their eyes and every attempt culminated with a request for a 'loan' to the consternation of the bules who had the best intentions. This was after confidences were exchanged and etc. and a refusal then was awkward. The above simply reflects the perception, mostly true that falangs command huge salaries compared with locals and that a few thousand baht here and there should not be anything between 'friends'...they don't understand that it has to be repaid... This is a main problem, some of us make up to ten times more a month than the locals. I do have some Thai friends but they are also good money earners, I do not think that friendship 'across the classes' is common in Thailand. I don't see Thaksin's daughter bringing a friend home from Mc Donalds... Dutchy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yohan Posted March 31, 2004 Share Posted March 31, 2004 This is a main problem, some of us make up to ten times more a month than the locals. I do have some Thai friends but they are also good money earners......... I made a similar statement in the same thread a while ago, and some other readers posted similar impressions. If you are a foreigner and you are looking for friends and you have a good income, then do not look around for girl-friends in the beer-bar near the beach. It might take a while, but look for friends, who are about enjoying the same level of education and income as you yourself. Preferable Thai people, who have nothing to do with all this nightlife, but who are serious in their daily work. If the Thai (and not only the Thai) is clearly under your living standards (see this quote: ten times less money than you have) then expect, they will come for friendship only, because you are the rich foreigner in their eyes. I have to correct this above quote, as I myself met Thai, Filipinos, Chinese, Indian and MANY other people, whose income was even 50 times lower than my one. And I am just good average by Japanese standards. There are quite a lot of countries in this world (not only in Asia) which are far poorer off than the Thais. Clearly said again, not all foreigners are rich in Thailand - and they should admit it openly when in contact with the Thais - and MANY Thais are not poor at all, some of my friends are earning more than my wife and I together. No need for me to show up like an ATM...... Our Thai friends are inviting us, when we meet them in Thailand... Johann Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bluecat Posted April 2, 2004 Author Share Posted April 2, 2004 Otherwise you'll always be secretly despised as the rich falang, Thais are very jealous of money. No, in fact, they are not. If your living conditions in your country would be similar to the one of the majority of Thai people and you would have "foreigners" visiting you with the same "difference" in purchasing power and "burning" money (by Thai standards) like there is no tomorrow, you would probably be very, very upset,... Ah, I think you're being a little starry-eyed here, mate. Your observations might very well be right if applied only to rural Thais, but the original poster had a good point if you're dealing with, in particular, middle and upper class Thais in Bangkok or some other urban area. I've lived in Bangkok for nearly twenty years, and I'd have to agree that -- on the whole -- those folks really don't like us. They see us as threats, not as possible friends. My advice is that, speaking again in generalities, when you start thinking too many urban Thais might be real friends of yours, you probably could use a reality check. I do not fully get your point. Do you mean in Bangkok and urban areas, middle and upper class Thai are jealous of the money farang make and see us as a threat for their financial well being? Or is it just that --on the whole-- Thai people see us as a "threat" because we are just foreigners with a different culture, different habits, different... In one word, just very DIFFERENT and showing it, if not boasting it,.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aaaaaa Posted April 3, 2004 Share Posted April 3, 2004 I think it is simple enough, no need to live 20 years anywhere to understand that: all ppl in all classes and categories can't like al ppl in ppl neither in the same nor in other lclasses and categories... just coz eveyone is an INDIVIDUAL. and it seems such kind of statement is a trivial generalisation based on limited personal expirience, even if this experience might be 100 years .... and generalisations usually based on selected evidences and also expressed in the form of absolute statements. and absolute statements are always easy enough to prove wrong by one single real evidence of ANY other fact... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mai Krap Posted April 3, 2004 Share Posted April 3, 2004 Ohh yes we have so many friends,,, "Its all fun and games til somebody loses a fng eye"........... Everyone here plays to be friendly and honerable and for sure you can end up with a couple realy nice friends,,, mostly these will be people with a commen goal or intrest,,,, like English football or sea kayaking or business related skills. But mostly people like just having hang around types cause most falang like to drink beer and go out so there is always a free ride,,,,,,, you dont have to worry about being invited out by people with more money than you have because you have nothing to offer them socialy or financialy and most importnt politically,,,,,,, unless you or a embassy or un type...... Everyone here is a social climber. Exibit A= the Elite card,,,,,,, The middle and lower classes use the word Elitest as a insult in the U.S. and Europe but here to be a V.I.P. is all the rage,,,, to be better than someone else,,,,,,"Im better than you"......Have you ever noticed how people will say,,, Oh this is my brother and then later you will find out they hardly even know each other and you just payed for another 6 pack........ So lets get to the point,,,,,,,,, everybody loves you and you are an asset to your community and your invited to every ocaision from weddings to funerals,,,, and your village kids will sit in your lap while you drink beer and the phu yai ban will wai you and say your great until one day when you need the simpleist of things and nobody will help you,,, No one will stand up for you except your wife cause hopefully she really gives a damm and for sure she has the most to loose.... Recently after a argument over a beer bill where I'd spent much cash on hienikins over the past year and was sick of having a extra beer or two added on and finally said somthing about it and told the maneger to go next door and get the police and show them the bill,,,,,,, They decided to have a community activity of smashing bottles over my head at the odds of 15 to one with my friends sitting there watching. so after someone took money from my person and they got tired of trying to kill me..... I drove myself to the hospital hoping I wouldnt pass out so the police could write me off as another traffic accident fatality.... 10 stitches to the back of my head the loss of a qaurt of blood conservativly,,, a broken nose and 2 black eyes and a bottle or knife cut across the lower abdoman......... Two hours at the police station and without one interviewed suspect I was told,,,,,,,, Oh they were just trying to defend themselves......... Every person involved in this knows me personaly as I have been living in a small town but beutiful resort area for quite some time. Bottem line ,,,,,Always choose to live where there is a tourist police office,,,, because they will at least check into any potential crimes against falang ,,,,,,,, And "Fair weather friends are a international phenominom!!!!!!!!!".............. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OldAsiaHand Posted April 4, 2004 Share Posted April 4, 2004 I do not fully get your point.Do you mean in Bangkok and urban areas, middle and upper class Thai are jealous of the money farang make and see us as a threat for their financial well being? Or is it just that --on the whole-- Thai people see us as a "threat" because we are just foreigners with a different culture, different habits, different... In one word, just very DIFFERENT and showing it, if not boasting it,.... I wasn't really thinking in terms of money or income when I made the comment. In my experience, Thais think of themselves as living in a carefully ordered world protected by rules that apply largely to other Thais. When a foreigner enters into any social or commercial mix with Thais, he is a threat to them since he makes his life outside those rules-- and even if he doesn't think he does, few of us appear to be very impressed by those strict rules of social intercourse that control the lives of all Thais anyway. Thais are never really certain what we are going to do next. We make them uneasy. On the whole, we are too big, too loud, too assertive, too confident, too hairy, and yes I suppose, too rich as well. Ever notice how Thais giggle when they are uneasy, and how ofter they giggle at us? That's a poor basis for anything remotely resembling a friendship. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tatom Posted April 4, 2004 Share Posted April 4, 2004 From my observations, thai people have many aquaintenences, but few TRUE friends. Several years ago, a Thai woman in America told me, her father once told her, a person only needs 3 friends. So perhaps it is a matter of the farang and thai definition of the word "friend". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
winle Posted April 4, 2004 Share Posted April 4, 2004 Thais, the best friends money can buy!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
englishoak Posted April 4, 2004 Share Posted April 4, 2004 Yes tukyleith I do have Thai friends and count myself lucky Friends come in different packages for all people. Don't expect too much from friends and you won't be disappointed. How much you expect is up to you but remember that in another place they are going to be different ! don't judge by your own standards because you will eventually come down with a bump ! True friends are hard to come by, and the older you get the harder they are to find. As for family ? well the same applies realy, your own family first and the wife ok but the rest ? treat them as you would all other new aquaintences, carefully. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Axel Posted April 4, 2004 Share Posted April 4, 2004 Thais, the best friends money can buy!!! I thought it is Bangkok finest, the best police-force money can buy. Without joke, what do you expect of a friend? If nothing from either side, you can be friends, if you are new to here, you might hope to learn something and the Thai-side might feel obliged to help you. Not a good start for friendship, just mutual interest. How many real friends you have got anyway? I count them on one hand of xxx years, not only in "Thailand, around the world. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mbkudu Posted April 4, 2004 Share Posted April 4, 2004 I think that money plays a bigger role in friendships than many people want to realize. Sometimes in the west ( I'm coming from an American perspective) wealthy people think it's cool or trendy to hang out with blue collar working class people because it gives them some sort of connection to the common man. Then there are rich people who would never even consider it. I think subconciosly the Farang may be thinking the same way, wants to feel connected. I am a bicycle mechanic in America in a high end shop that often sells $5,000-$10,000 bicycles to often times quite wealthy people. We often go riding with our costumers, but the real rich ones don't ask us to go riding. If we did, he'd be wanting to talk about his newest edition to his stock portfolio, and be wanting to talk about how I'm going to make my rent this month. There are some well off people who are bored with the pretentiousness of their peers and just want to hang out and have fun, but they are rare. It is a classist society anywhere in the world you go. It has nothing to do with being Asian, white, black or brown; it's about the green. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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