Never trust a Greek burying Gerbils

Or Iowans burried in chickens.

Or Iowans burried in chickens.

Will Stacey Dooley investigate?

Or Iowans burried in chickens.

Will Stacey Dooley investigate?

Indeed, what would Stacey do (or WWSD)?

tonytigerbkk said:

"Hi again bangkokjulia,

I see that you have met our head of security RGS (AKA ‘The Dentist’).

RGS was adopted by Tigerclaw Industries as a child after he suffered an (unprovoked) attack by a pack of wild clawed warriors while holidaying in the hamlet of Shellbrook (Ashby-de-la-Zouch).

While the attack was traumatic, it did serve to make RGS a better security chief in the following ways:

1). RGS is now very wary of all things and will often be found interrogating anything of suspicious nature (both animate and inanimate objects).

2). RGS can eat all colours of Smarties without suffering from an allergic reaction.

3). In ultra violet light RGS becomes invisible.

4). RGS has no known weaknesses.

5). RGS can smell people from Iowa at a distance of 15 paces.

6). RGS knows every handout in every town and every lock that ain't locked, when no one's around.

Also, due to the attack RGS has spent many hours studying clawed warriors and their migratory behaviour and has often worked alongside Dr. Will in government backed research projects.

The misunderstanding about the position of Chairman stems back to a certain Mediterranean gentleman who has in the past tried to lay claim to affiliation with the Tigerclaw group of companies. No-one really understands the need for these claims but it is believed that it was done to make himself appear more sophisticated in an attempt to become popular. This man is a badger milking Tigerclaw groupie.

I cannot say too much more about this matter due to the pending trial for this case.

So anyway, you will probably now understand why RGS was so thorough when questioning your background. Usually by this stage RGS would have already carried out a complete body cavity search just to check that you were not concealing any clawed warriors about your person.

Please tell me bangkokjulia, have you recently been contacted by any persons claiming to be from Tigerclaw offering you a duck hunting holiday?"

Mr Chairman,

Your head of security, RGS certainly sounds like an interesting character. I am sure he acts in an extremely professional manner at all times.

I don't really understand the groupie concept. Surely the person you speak of has more important things to do(like perfecting his badgering milking process) than be a serial pest to the likes of your goodself?

I have not been offered a duck hunting holiday, but I did want to appraise you of a situation I have recently found myself in.

I was approached by a very smelly, undesirable, unkempt individual, under the guise of being a beggar. He was asking for 1 baht donations. I politely refused, and then found myself overcome by four equally smelly individuals. I was thrown into the back of a baht bus and dropped off in a rat infested lane. I was bought into a filthy room full of rotting food. It was there that the original beggar introduced himself. "You will call me Mr K." I was then "interrogated" by this person, and then tortured via foodboarding-the same principle as waterboarding, but far worse as it is an attempt at suffocation by food. I then realised I was in the back of a 99 baht breakfast dive. I eventually was able to escape as Mr K was at the register pocketing one baht coins.

At first, I thought this was some type of recruitment exercise by Tigerclaw, as my interrogation was based on my knowledge of Tigerclaw Industries. I think that your head of Security investigate this incident as a matter of priority.

Rgs, please refer to my most recent experience, as relayed to the Chairman.

Rgs, please refer to my most recent experience, as relayed to the Chairman.

BJ, yes I was notified , you will be pleased to know TCI immediately initiated "lockdown" procedures.

You have yet again demonstrated you certainly have potential, I personally would like to congratulate you for handling yourself in a thoroughly professional manner.

As mentioned before TCI is aware of imposters masquerading under the TCI brand name, spec agent SD is at present in deep undercover ops on Lower Suk in an attempt to expose these heinous charlatans.

I can see from your description of events, this act of subterfuge took place in Thailands fun city by the sea.

In future to spare yourself from such a brazen affront to your dignity and personal safety I would encourage you to adopt these simple safety protocols.

Always ask for proof of identity, our employees will always have the appropriate means of identification, after this first task, ask the employee to greet you with the company "tigerclaw handshake grip", if said person is unable to perform this simple handshake (known to all employees) please extract yourself immediately from the situation, your life may well be in danger.

TCI operates a strict "need to know" policy hence the attempt to extract confidential company secrets.

Even if you were in a position to hand over these secrets, they would be worthless to anyone attempting to use them, as an extra security precaution all employees will be asked for further proof of their status, we do not operate an access all areas policy.

Employees will be restricted to only the areas and material they need for their current role, this operates as a further safeguard in as such no one will be able to give away company secrets or details of the company hierarchy even under the most gruelling of interrogation techniques.

I trust you have fully recovered from your ordeal.