A Test For All Foreigners

[chiangmaijohn]

Here is a lighthearted test of 10 questions to see weather you have adjusted to Thailand or not.

Answer [a]= 1 point

Answer = 3 points

A TRIP TO THE SUPERMARKET

Question 1

Your are leaving your housing project,approaching security,the guard raises the barrier,stands to attention and salutes you.Do you?

[a] Smile,say thankyou and proceed on your way

completely ignore him,and pretend that the barriers go up and down all by themselves all day.

Question 2

You approach the road and the big fat old lady is coming along on her motorbike with 150 kgs of vegetables and snacks strapped either side.Do you?

[a] Wait patiently until she passes appreciating the hard work she does every day.

wait until shes 6 metres away,pull out in front of her causing her to nearly lose control of her vehicle.

Question 3

You are travelling down the road and see the 90 year old guy,weighing in at 24kgs,driving his motorbike just above walking pace.Do You?

[a] Slow down,indicate and overtake allowing him plenty of room.

Put your foot down,get as close to him as you can without scratching your car and try to blow him off his bike.

Question 4

you are 30 metres away from the traffic lights and they change to red.Do you?

[a] Slow down and wait patiently until they turn back to green.

Start flashing your head lights,turn your hazards on,sound your horn and try to break the sound barrier.

Question 5

Your now nearing the supermarket but you need to make a U turn.The return with the yellow sign is 500 metres away but there is a red return sign with a black line through it 100 metres away.Do You?

[a] Proceed to the yellow return sign,indicating and wait until its safe to proceed.

Slam your brakes on,dont indicate and nudge out into the oncoming traffic causing them to brake and swerve.

Question 6

You have arrived and need your car park pass from security.Do You?

[a] Wind your window down,accept the pass,smile and say thankyou.

Open your window the same width as the car pass,snatch it from his grasp and proceed at high speed.

Qustion 7

Now you need to park your car.Do You?

[a] Park correctly in between the 2 white lines that are there to guide you.

Park any way you fancy but making sure that you are so close to the next car that he can only access his vehicle via the passenger door.

Qustion 8

You now have your trolley and want to browse a little without pushing your trolley around.Do you?

[a] Leave your trolley to one side so as not to inconveniance other shoppers.

Leave it in the middle of the aisle,on an angle so that nobody can pass it without moving it.

Question 9

You have arrived at checkout,the girl puts your prized loaf of bread in the same bag as 6 tins of beans,a jar of coffee and 2 bottles of milk,takes your money and gives you your receipt.Do you?

[a] Say thankyou and move along so the next customer can be served.

Look at your receipt like she has just tried to con you out of your last 10 baht whilst trying to to reshape your bread from a bead roll back into a loaf and walk off muttering.

Question 10

You have just unloaded your shopping back into the car,now what do you do with the trolley.Do you?

[a] Find a place where it wont hinder other motorists.

Dump it in the only available parking space or directly behind the car next to you so he has to move it.

Scores 1-15

You still need a liitle more time to adjust to life out here.

Scores 15-30

You are a fully fledged expat who should now consider appying for residency.

P.S I scored 16 and my Thai wife scored 30

[Diablo Bob]

The fact that you are going shopping at a venue that issues a car pass and you are using a shopping cart would indicate to me that you have a LONG WAY to go before you are truley an expat deserving of residency.

[migrant]

Actually that test can apply to Southern California quite often

[OneeyedJohn]

I am laughing so much i struggled to get to Qu10.

still, managed to get max points

[Plus]

The fact that you are going shopping at a venue that issues a car pass and you are using a shopping cart would indicate to me that you have a LONG WAY to go before you are truley an expat deserving of residency.

Do Thais still shop in places without car parks and and shopping trolleys? We are not aiming at Burmese refugee pass - they are the guys who walk to the shops and start shaking when they see security guards.

On the other hand, there could be another, equally enterntaining quiz on how people double park in front of shophouses.

[earlofwindermere]

Great survey... so true. My wife and I laughed throughout it.

[buddhafly]

this survey would make a great letter to the letters section of the bangkok post or nation.

send it in!

[Blinky Bill]

The fact that you are going shopping at a venue that issues a car pass and you are using a shopping cart would indicate to me that you have a LONG WAY to go before you are truley an expat deserving of residency.

Thoroughly agree with you Diablo.

When stepping over/through muddy potholes to get to the open fronted covered market areas doesn't have any affect you are getting there.

When passing through narrow walkways with smoke generated from frying chilles, garlic, numerous other foods, etc. doesn't have any affect you are getting there.

When seeing rats running through the market areas doesn't have any affect you are getting there.

When seeing skinned frogs that are still alive on display doesn't have any affect you are getting there.

When seeing live fish being roasted doesn't have any affect you are getting there.

When having to brush away the flies to inspect the meat you are buying for dinner doesn't have any affect you are getting there.

These are only a few points of shopping in "real" Thai markets.

The majority of Thai people do their shopping on a daily basis under these conditions. Only the minority use the large modern supermarkets inherited from the western world.

One of the most vicious creatures in the world other than wolverines and koalas is a western woman in a supermarket carpark when she spies a vacant space and someone else dives into it before she can get to it.