I'm getting milked dry by issan family

[ScarpoFongness4U]

There are so many girls in Thailand, and I personally don't have time for the "good girls"

But seriously OP,

We need a real cost benefits analysis here because something smells fishy here, and

I'm sorry if you take that the wrong way

Now, you truly want the benefit of the experienced posters here you're going to have to come up with some more details like your age and her age for starters.

I'm straight up I just want to know who the real free loader is, because so far to me she sounds like she's been honest with you

[georgegeorgia]

I think its...Shame on you if you fool me once...Shame on ME if you fool me twice..

[Britannia]

Ho yer and never!!!!!! never!!!! live in the family home

[glegolo]

Your partly to blame Get rid of the dog or just tell them the money has run out. Or go with them when it comes to replacing something that is broken and you pay for it direclty

Such as the battery Don't just hand out the money. If they see you are controlling it from the mentality they may through a tantram but like all children it will pass

Tell your girlfriend if it does not stop then you will leave her See how quickly she will advise her family to back off

Take control Its that simple Let them belly ache and move to a new place

Also if you are living with them then you should pay them something on a monthly bases They may look at the situation and say "hey he does not help with payments so we will get it another way

Use your head They are human as well and react to similar situations

I speak from Experience since I have been with my lady for 8 years

Good post, sensible knowledgeable and suggestive post!!! I agree.... the OP is living with the family and probably not paying any rent yet... Agree with you.... Talk to gthem, suggest an amoun t of money covering the rent, and for the rest just tell them that you are not accepting any more nonsense.... These are people that understand reasoning... But prey on cowards..'

Glegolo

[balo]

How much do you earn ? Instead of paying for all the "damages" you could give them a sum every month so they keep quite. Tell them that this is it . If its 2000 or 10000 or whatever you decide. Personally I would never give money away to anyone unless there is a good reason.

[Moonlover]

When I got hitched up with my Issan wife, I made it very clear from the start that I not an ever open bank account for the family. I give my wife a small monthly allowance for her to use as she wishes. If she wants give it all away, that's up to her. I never ask what she does with it.

There has only been one attempt at obtaining a 'loan' (as they choose to call it) when her niece tried to 'borrow' 30,000 THB to prop up her business. I told her to talk to her bank manager. The issue has never been raised again.

OP, either be tough or walk away. If you show weakness they WILL exploit it.

Good luck.

[tsigane]

blood is thicker than water...old saying- though your chances to get a successful relationship without sponsoring might be minimal...

sad but true...

If you're "sponsoring," can it really be called a successful (romantic) relationship?

In my book, it's the very definition of a sick relationship, so prevalent in Thailand.

It's ok to pay for a nurse to wipe off my sorry ass if I can't walk or to pay a maid to

cook and clean for me. I would feel so pathetic if I were to pay to someone to

pretend to love me. But then it's just me.

People who are happy with trophy wives do not mind paying for "love." Thailand

is a paradise for them as almost anyone can afford a trophy wife here. But then

there is no complaining about being milked.

[spiritrace]

If you are living in their house,,,,then you are being asked to share the load. Bad idea living with the family. If you are not paying rent, then they will continue to ask for favors.

You need to be self sufficient in your own place.

[NickJ]

I know this guy who pays his wife a "salary" her money as he calls it. Anyways......he hit hard times and had to borrow money from all of his friends.....some of us he has known over decades.......but she still got her 20k a month.........

If u are paying a "salary" to a thai women for doing whats expected of a wife or a gf. You are delusional.

[meatboy]

Expert insite, certainly.

Run Forest, run.

Before I met my wife I met plenty of these types of families.

You cannot win in this situation, you will be milked dry and because they are family and you are not, your sweet girl will stand back and let this happen.

run forest,run.

now what was that other film? i got it DUMB AND DUMBER

[hawthorne]

It sounds like you are living under their roof and their rules. Change that situation and become your own King in your own castle. You sound like a young man that is allowing others to take advantage of yourself. You will either grow up and put a stop to it or be run over. These people are not stealing from you, you are willingly giving your money away. Running away only solves the problem this time. Take a stand and say no and move out of their house.

[natway09]

Don't worry about it, once they have emptied ur bank a/c you can go, then she will move on to the next one

[ianbardon]

SUCKER.......................... stay and pay Thailand needs you,

the rest of us would not have gone there in the first place.

[natway09]

Don't worry so much. Once they have emptied your bank account, you can go.

Then she will come back to Bangkok or wherever & get another guy.

Life goes on with an unending supply

[ronthai]

... I'm some dumb farang who they need to extract as much money as possible

Since you are paying all these nonsence things and come here for "advice" which is giving almost daily to other farangs, I guess you should know the answer by now. If not, well the above quote where your post started with, is true.

The only advice as always is:

1. Go and run

2. Say NO and pretty sure the girl will go

[Jip99]

blood is thicker than water...old saying- though your chances to get a successful relationship without sponsoring might be minimal...

sad but true...

If you're "sponsoring," can it really be called a successful (romantic) relationship?

In my book, it's the very definition of a sick relationship, so prevalent in Thailand.

It's ok to pay for a nurse to wipe off my sorry ass if I can't walk or to pay a maid to

cook and clean for me. I would feel so pathetic if I were to pay to someone to

pretend to love me. But then it's just me.

People who are happy with trophy wives do not mind paying for "love." Thailand

is a paradise for them as almost anyone can afford a trophy wife here. But then

there is no complaining about being milked.

You seem to be confusing "love" with sex.

[angiolo]

It is too easy to get in this situation. If the relationship is beyond an economical partnership then end it. there are many more " fish in the sea " I have run two times so far and could be heading to another one. The families want money from your girl...more and more. At some time you must end the greed.

[masuk]

Run. Fast. They will not stop.

Tell them the story about the "Goose which laid Golden Eggs".

See if they get the message - if not you might have to spell it out.

If the Goose walks, they lose everything.

[asdecas]

Dear OP, you should do everything you can to continue to ingratiate yourself with your girlfriend's family.

Having put yourself in a vulnerable position, withdrawal of support would, in my expert judgment, lead to rapid and severe consequences. Therefore, buy them a new motorcycle today, build them an annexe for your nuisance dog, start saving for the shopping trip to Singapore for Mum and Dad.

Do not worry, all will be well.

[Altalake]

Read Stephen Leather's "Private Dancer" mate!

Then reverse and accelerate!

[Jip99]

Run. Fast. They will not stop.

Tell them the story about the "Goose which laid Golden Eggs".

See if they get the message - if not you might have to spell it out.

If the Goose walks, they lose everything.

Long term vision is not a common attribute in most Isaan villagers

[cms22]

I'm afraid you made the mistake to allow them to start doing this. Stopping them from doing this will now be very difficult. I have been in a similar situation, but with my wife now (also from Issan) I have always made a point of saying no when I believe family is taking the piss. We've been together eight years and I was only asked for money for about the first six months before the message got through. Very very rarely get requests these days.

[nonb]

Feel sorry for those who married former cashiers. Just saying

[angiolo]

run rabbit run

[kevinsan]

Cheaper by the day brother. Simple accounting. Unless your using a Thai accountant.

[ChiangraiTony]

I will attempt to leave you some sound advise because I know that you need it.

Money is the key component. If her family is trying to Milk you, they will not stop.

If you help them once they will continue to expect it.

Many children are brought up from a very young age to ask for money. They come in all forms. Some come with a smile while others come with a story. It is not about the love they have for you.

If you do not understand them it's because you were brought up different then them. Your values are different.

You can like your gf as much as you want but the mighty dollar does not stop there.

If you cannot handle the heat then it's best to get out of the kitchen. If you stay, you'll continue to get burned.

Your girl friend is the daughter of her parents. She cares for them and nothing you can say or do will really change anything.

They will mix things up for you and make you think progress is being made but once again don't be fooled.

There is no shame when it comes to extracting money from you.

Personally speaking this goes beyond money. They are lying to you and you know it. (Dog chews wires and eats paper). There is nothing worst then someone trying to get your money and lying to do so.

You can tell your gf that every time her parents ask for money it will be less that you have to give to her. Tell her that if she will not protect you by holding back the money hungry people then you will walk without turning back. If you are reluctant to do so then stay but never complain again.

The people on TV that are giving you advise, you should listen very carefully.

You must understand, these people (her family) do not think like you. Their morals, their values and standards are different. Don't be the foolish one.

Walk away with your money otherwise you will have less to spend on the things that are important to you for your well being. This will not be so easy to walk especially if your feelings for your gf get in the way from your good judgement.

One last comment: if you know her parents are giving you BS, and you know they will try different things to get your money, why take them out for an expensive dinner where you drop 2k? This doesn't help matters. You're flashing money in their face and by doing that, in their mind, they would rather eat for 30-40 baht and have the remainng money for themselves.

When you spend a lot at the restaurant, it looks like you have enough money to go around.

Don't show your monetary worth. Don't show it to her family. You can also try not to show it to your gf. Things will be tolerated for awhile but if it continues, she will be the one who walks.

My Credential Scars: I've lived throughout Thailand for 30 years. Been married and divorced to Thai. Have had mother and father in-law the same as you explain. Have in the past had numerous Thai girlfriends. I have shelled out lots and lots of thai baht on family members. Please, if you think you are different and you are not vulnerable then you are only fooling yourself.

Best to you in being the man and setting things straight right from the start.

[BB24]

Paul Simon said it a long time ago (much better than others IMO):

You just slip out the back, Jack
Make a new plan, Stan
You don't need to be coy, Roy
Just get yourself free
Hop on the bus, Gus
You don't need to discuss much
Just drop off the key, Lee
And get yourself free

My advice:- DONT discuss - MAKE the decision - then PLAN how and where - then DO IT - AND DONT LOOK BACK !!

[Regyai]

1) Teach your dog to bite the parents

2) Sit down Tirak Jaa and compile an extended list of current/projected expenditure on her parents fiscal vampirism

Then explain how eminently cheaper it would be to have a Meuu Bpeuun remove them both

.

[crickets]

You need to kick them off your cash train. 1000 to 2000 baht on dinner, yeah right. Do they hog tie you and force u to go there? Im now a issan jedhi on dealing with the family. Rules have been set and enforced by me now and i can control there minds.

[shaurene]

100% get away from living with the family. I have my house very close to the family, they started to use my fit hen and take pots and pans away to borrow, I stopped that, also the guys borrowed my tools and very slow to bring back I stopped that, I speek to my wife to tell them my rules and she did 100% she really tells them, none of them ask me for money since less than 2 weeks there been here 6 years now, I give a little money to her brothers but only when they do some work for me.

Go to another place and rent, if your G/F will not go with you you have to move on, there are plenty of ladys looking for a guy and there are some nice ones that will understand you and back you up against their family.

So your choice if you carry on it is your fault so do not blame the family as they all think Falang has plenty money and they will carry on to get money from you, they have some very good tricks.