chinese New Year with Thai family

[retoohs]

Tonorrow i go with my girlfriend to celebrate the Chinese New Year with her Thai family. I asked her how much money I should give and do I give it to everyone. She gave the typical Thai answer and said up to me. I said that is no help and she replied you don't have to give any to me and up to you how much. Even less help as I would rather give her money than people I do not know very well. I dont want to offend anyone but we are saving for a house and the money printing press is out of action so greenbacks are limited. Appreciate advice from those who have dealt with this issue.

[retoohs]

Sorry for the spelling. My fingers are too fat for my phone keyboard

[Cpkt8]

You don't have to give actually. Just bring 2 mandarin oranges or buy a hamper for the parents. Remember don't wear black or white- traditional Chinese old folks like red.

Remember to greet them with good words like Gong Xi Fa Cai or Xin Nian Kuai Le when give them the oranges/hamper.

Edited February 18, 2015 by Cpkt8

[StreetCowboy]

Try to get a bunch of red envelopes (pockets) (hong bao) for the children, and put a 20 baht note in each.

Should really be two notes, but definitely not adding up to 40, and paper money is preferable to coins.... so you are stuck between a rock and a hard place. I reckon a single 20 is fine.

Faced with this quandary, in the post-currency crisis recession of 1998 (or thereabouts) the Hong Kong Monetary Authority thoughtfully issued a 10 HKD note, that persists to this day...

SC

[Thian]

Buy the biggest oranges/mandarins you can find, big bunch of large banana's and that should do it. Maybe a nice pomelo as well.

[h90]

If the family is Thai: zero, nothing, nada....Or just give the same the family gave you for Christmas.....

[isanbirder]

It depends how Chinese they are.

Red packets for the kids are probably the most important way to make a good impression. A basket of oranges or even better, a kumquat plant for the parents.

The greeting in Cantonese is Kung Hei Fatt Choy (easier to pronounce than the versions given above).

If they are not Chinese at all, just give them what you would normally give to your hosts.

[krisb]

Why's a Thai family expect money for a Chinese New year?

[Vacuum]

krisb, on 19 Feb 2015 - 18:22, said:

Why's a Thai family expect money for a Chinese New year?

..........and why are they celebrating it?

[retoohs]

Thanks for the replies. The family is quarter Chinese, deceased father was half and used to travel back and forth between the two countries. I ended risking offending everyone and took nothing after once again explaining to my partner that even though I hold the money it is hers also and she said not to worry about giving anything. Ended up it was right decision as only one sister who is wealthy gave other family members a little, around 500b per adult. For this family it seemed more about spending the day together and eating and drinking. Was a great day. I don't think I will get off so easily in April for the Thai New Year but will be with other family members who live way up in the north near Laos and really appreciate a little help.

[daveAustin]

Well done, you did the right thing. Give nothing where possible or it'll set a precedent. Best to be a miserable tightwad in the eyes of the extended family than an ATM schmuck. We are also in Thailand, balls to China. I wore black

[Acharn]

Well done, you did the right thing. Give nothing where possible or it'll set a precedent. Best to be a miserable tightwad in the eyes of the extended family than an ATM schmuck. We are also in Thailand, balls to China. I wore black

Well aren't you special. Black is also a funeral color. However, it doesn't really matter, Thais sometimes wear black just because it looks cool. Same with white. Red is the Chinese color of good luck, the Thai color of Sunday, and generally a happy color to wear to a party. Lots of people immigrated from China when King Mongkut was changing the tax system from forced labor to money, so most Thais have at least one Chinese ancestor.

Edited February 20, 2015 by Acharn

[Howitzer]

Well done, you did the right thing. Give nothing where possible or it'll set a precedent. Best to be a miserable tightwad in the eyes of the extended family than an ATM schmuck. We are also in Thailand, balls to China. I wore black

You seem pissed that thai people are celebrating a chinese festival. Well the fact of the matter is chinese new year has a very big influence in thailand.

[wow64]

Red card are only meant to be giving to the young ones provided the youngs ones are not yet married.

You are not chinese neither is she.. You could play the I am a Farang card and don't understand.

Did the family members get you a gift on Christmas or your birthday? What ever they did there is your answer.

Edited February 20, 2015 by wow64

[MrWorldwide]

I'm bracing myself for the Lao new year here in Buriram-by-the-sea.

[rotary]

I would stay home and let her go by herself

[Altalake]

Street Cowboy and Thain have it taped. Do what they say.

[kinmaew]

Why is it with Asians its always about money and it always seems them not giving to us but the other way around. Mate, I would suggest you "Forget" your wallet or better still fall suddenly ill. Thais will understand that and its a great face saver and you save big bucks.

[Wat dee]

krisb, on 19 Feb 2015 - 18:22, said:

Why's a Thai family expect money for a Chinese New year?

..........and why are they celebrating it?

To get presents!! Dah!

[Classic Ray]

30% of Thai people are of Chinese background , it's no different them celebrating CNY to those with an ounce of Scottish blood going mad at Hogmanay or Burns Night. Help them celebrate and don't be a party pooper!

[angiolo]

For obvious reasons do not buy a house ,but a condo can be bought in YOU NAME. Oh boy all those stories we hear of ferang buying houses in girlfriends name..Do not do it,there will be tears

[mogandave]

Just tie a ribbon around it and stay home,

[KhnomKhnom]

food gift in a reusable container, 20 for kids, wear red. Be quiet. Do not scrimp.

[canuckistaner]

I had to chuckle when reading so many of these posts. Times have sure changed from my youth. My Grandmother immigrated from China about the time of the end of the Manchu Dynasty. The people of her generation were different from those of today from my observations. Certainly less calculating and more into sharing time and food together than hoping for something big. When visiting friends or relatives for any occasion it was customary to bring something to eat and share. Didn't have to be expensive........or tea or whatever. Never money...except for the red packet for kids at christmas, full moon, new years and sometimes generous aunts and uncles would give a red packet to kids any time of the year. People expressed gratitude for whatever you brought and then made tea or coffee or soft drinks and brought out food to share........in fact the food you brought would be put on plates to be shared. This doesn't happen so much anymore, at least where I live...in Vancouver........its all about money and people..even Asians seem to have forgotten their old customs. Older people still remember but the younger generation........forget it. Your lucky to get a glass of water and anyways, how often do you visit relatives or friends nowadays when everyone has two jobs...I'm talking about in the West.......(Vancouver). However, in Asia and Old World countries these customs tend to live on.

Actually, this is an Asian custom, anywhere there is Chinese cultural influence......such as Thailand, Vietnam, etc where even non-Chinese celebrate CNY because its part of the cultural landscape. So, thats why many Thais celebrate CNY, and also many Asians also celebrate Christmas....people just like to celebrate anything anyways. But don't let them use CNY or any other festival as an excuse to expect expensive Gifts. I might add, that bringing a gift of food is actually customary in most countries...certainly the ones I've visited from Africa through the Middle East to Asia and even Europe.

I keep on reading that Thais seem obsessed with money and so many foreigners with Thai wives or gfs are wondering how much to give or what to give. Use common sense....being overly kind and generous is just asking to be thought of as an ATM anywhere. Bringing a gift of food or whatever doesn't have to be of a certain $$ value...its basically a sign of respect to the people you are visiting..her parents/family/friends.....If it only costs 3 bucks in the market place...thats perfectly fine. Never worry about the cost of what you are bringing for them because that won't get you any more respect or affection anyways. And if it does...its Faked! Its just Good Manners and shows that you have respect by bringing something. And don't bother asking your GF how much you should spend. I simply ask my wife what drinks or food her relatives like and take it from there. We never discuss a monetary value. To discuss monetary value cheapens the whole thing and also reveals a lot about the people..maybe even your GF or wife.

I hear of so many farangs being used as an ATM in Thailand. Well, its partly their own fault. Some like to flaunt their money/wealth, others feel pity or guilty about being wealthier than the natives etc etc...others have smart manipulative Gfs. Others want to gain "love and respect" and giving big gifts certainly gets "face". I'm not advocating being a miser but use common sense. Its not necessary to "buy" love and respect. A gift of any value should be respected...remember...its the thought that counts. Giving too much and too easily only increases problems. I'd rather be "less liked" and regarded as "cheap" than "well liked and loved" by the locals. Actually, they will regard you with More Respect and Appreciate you More if you don't just give easily and "cave in to their every whim." Certainly, emergencies arise....your Gfs mother needs a life saving operation etc etc......but her unemployed brother or father..........they survived long before you arrived and they will survive after you are long gone. Buy them a meal or occasional beer..the same you would do for friend and leave it at that. Don't set them up in business unless they show and prove Unusual Talents and an Exceptional Work Ethic.

Also, the attitude that they never gave you anything at Christmas or whatever, therefore you want to reciprocate in kind is immature. Never follow a lower kind of behaviour or react to a perceived slight. Make the first move and take initiative to show your respect regardless and bring along a gift. In the long run you will be appreciated and respected and they may even start following your behaviour. When people receive money too easily, they eventually lose respect for it and also for the giver......it seems that they think they are entitled to it for whatever reasons.

Handing out money to your GF/Wife and her family too easily is a recipe for big time trouble in the future. If all they want from you is money then you have to re-think your relationships. If you are a Farang from the West, most of the natives where you live in Asia will automatically think that you are "rich". Its a very bad attitude and you just have to ignore most of the requests for a "loan" or "help". Actually, from my experience, if someone asks for a loan.....don't ever expect to get paid back......if you give it, write it off! Even well off people who own a house and business will often not pay you back. If you ask for the money back, you are considered Rude! How do I know......hahahahha......already been through this many times.

Use Common Sense!

[retoohs]

Thanks kabukistaner great reply

[dotpoom]

You don't have to give actually. Just bring 2 mandarin oranges or buy a hamper for the parents. Remember don't wear black or white- traditional Chinese old folks like red.

Remember to greet them with good words like Gong Xi Fa Cai or Xin Nian Kuai Le when give them the oranges/hamper.

He mentioned they are a Thai family.

[Eneukman]

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Why's a Thai family expect money for a Chinese New year?

Could it be that they're Chinese Thai as is my girlfriend and her family?

Flowers and some fruit for her mother and a small amount of cash for her mid 70's mother in my case. 500 baht was suggested but I didn't have any 500 baht notes so I put 1,000 baht into an envelope.

Alan

[steven100]

just get a bottle of whiskey and get sloshed with papa ...... and give mama a big smooch on the cheek for new year !!

[A1Str8]

You don't have to give any money.

[retoohs]

Thanks everyone. I think of them as a Thai family but my gf is quarter Chinese. As said earlier I ended up giving no money instead I gave the children boxes of chocolates and took a bottle of Jamaican rum for the adults. Everyone seemed happy. I feel they didn't expect anything now but I am happy I was able to contribute. It was a great day. I feel this has been a good thread and not only helped me through this day but will make it easier for the future when similar situations arise.