North-eastern Thais Praise Foreign Husbands

[george]

CROSS-CULTURAL MARRIAGES

Foreign husbands pay off for Thais

BANGKOK: -- Cross-cultural marriages between Thai women and foreign men are better received in Thai communities, a recent study has revealed, with northeastern villagers in particular praising their foreign sons-in-law for better supporting their new Thai family.

With many northeastern villages organising "Bai Sri Soo Kwan" blessing ceremonies for foreign husbands during the Thai New Year festival, Asst Professor Buaphan Promphak-ping of Khon Kaen University called this a meaningful honour resulting from a cultural change in Thai communities.

The National Culture Commis-sion Office sponsored a study on "cross-cultural marriages of Thai women in the northeastern region" to investigate cultural changes in Thai rural areas resulting from such marriages.

Twelve Thai women - from one community with Western-Thai marriages and three communities with Eastern-Thai marriages (husbands from Hong Kong and Japan) - took part in the study.

Most of the women married to Western men had been married before, to Thai men, and most had intentionally sought a new foreign husband, the study revealed.

The wives of Asian men were either divorcees or previously single and most had met their husbands through serendipity.

The women's ages when they married ranged from 19 to 47 and none had used the Internet as a means to meet their husband due to a lack of computer literacy.

Following marriage, the women's financial status had improved, with foreign husbands bringing steady income to the family, the study said. The marriages also brought the women more respect from neighbours, enabling them to move up the social ladder in their community.

The marriages were accepted within the communities and even encouraged by the women's relatives, as they were seen as a way to gain income. Foreign sons-in-law were better able to financially support the family than Thai husbands, the study said.

Udon Thani villager Supira TraiPhu, 42, said she had been married to a German national, Peter Volk, for nearly 15 years and initially lived with him in Germany. Four years ago they moved back to Thailand as Supira was worried about her teenage son - fathered by her previous Thai husband - and because her German husband had retired from work.

The family built a Bt2-million house, the biggest in the village, and had gained the respect of the neighbours, she said.

"At first, the neighbours were critical of my bringing a foreign husband home, but then they realised we did not cause them any trouble and brought good things here, so everyone wanted to talk with my husband and invite him to join their merit-making activities and parties," she said.

With her husband's pension of about Bt20,000 a month to support the family, she said they lived happily and comfortably enough.

Describing her husband as a good and understanding man, Supira said all her relatives were happy and her Thai son loved and obeyed his stepfather as much as he did his mother.

"If I were to have another chance to choose a husband, I would choose Peter again because he is wonderful and treats me nicely," Supira said.

Khamdee Phromlee, 70, a Roi Et villager who had recently gained a British son-in-law, said she did not mind her daughter marrying a foreigner if she loved him and he loved and treated her well.

Speaking no English at all, Khamdee said the downside of having a foreign son-in-law was the difficulty in communication, but her daughter's family now lived and ran a restaurant in Prachuap Khiri Khan's Hua Hin district and only visited her once in a while.

She recalled that her daughter's marriage ceremony was a grand occasion admired by neighbours. Khamdee said she was not certain that if she had a Thai son-in-law, they would have had the chance to hold such a wedding ceremony in a five-star hotel.

Khamdee said her daughter had lived a difficult life following a break-up with her Thai husband, who left her with their nine-year-old child to raise alone.

"Supporting an ageing mother while raising her kid as a single mother was not easy," she said, adding that since her daughter married her British husband, her life had been comfortable, running their restaurant with many employees.

--The Nation 2006-08-27

[seri thai]

Oh at last, something positive! Back slaps all round Gentlemen!

And thank you Thai media!!

[mittheimp]

but are they in love?

[kenk3z]

Perhaps if they interviewed the "foreigner husbands" they would find out that the husbands also find these relationships beneficial - especially compared to the less attractive alternatives in their home countries.......

kenk3z

[farangsay]

but are they in love?

"What's love got to do with it ?" Tina Turner

[Vespa]

Always comes down to $ ?

[Thaddeus]

but are they in love?

"What's love got to do with it ?" Tina Turner

"Rain drops on roses, and whiskers on kittens"

Love, in the meaning that most people understand or have probably experienced is a short term hormonal imbalance, respect, honour, faithfulness, shared humour, admiration of another individual, tend to last a lot longer..... and that is the true meaning of a couple that want to stay together.

Infatuation comes first, love comes second, respect and comfort comes third........ respect lasts.

(Thanks for the moderation earlier.... well deserved)

[Backpack_thailand]

Yes indeed, all foreign husbands are great.......

....as long as they are paying!

[Thaddeus]

Yes indeed, all foreign husbands are great.......

....as long as they are paying!

I'm sure that you will make someone very happy one day....... please excuse me for deleting the extra spaces in your comment..... I can't stand wasted space.... especially between the ears

[AsiaMB]

but are they in love?

"What's love got to do with it ?" Tina Turner

"Rain drops on roses, and whiskers on kittens"

Love, in the meaning that most people understand or have probably experienced is a short term hormonal imbalance, respect, honour, faithfulness, shared humour, admiration of another individual, tend to last a lot longer..... and that is the true meaning of a couple that want to stay together.

Infatuation comes first, love comes second, respect and comfort comes third........ respect lasts.

(Thanks for the moderation earlier.... well deserved)

To quote the famous movie ScarFace......First Comes the Money, then come the chicks, then comes the power !!!!!"

[yorkman]

but are they in love?

"What's love got to do with it ?" Tina Turner

Yes...ahhh the cynics.....

And resident in NE Thailand....

[aqua4]

Always comes down to $ ?

[yorkman]

Yes indeed, all foreign husbands are great.......

....as long as they are paying!

I'm sure that you will make someone very happy one day....... please excuse me for deleting the extra spaces in your comment..... I can't stand wasted space.... especially between the ears

Exactly Thaddeus....... My wife is tighter than a duck's ar*e....with OUR money....

Note the "WE" and "OUR" Backpacker...Thai women are the same...Love first..then Stability...then a decent lifestyle..

So different from a western woman.... or a western man... I think not

Good post George...this is not a 100% reflection of Northeast life..how could it be?....there are problems....but its a fair 50% reflection of most relationships IMHO

Edited August 26, 2006 by yorkman

[katanaF]

I'm not rich and couldn't help much being a "foreign" asian husband but we are happy....she's from the north...we are still very much in love after 8 years of marriage early this month...with two beautiful daughters, 3 and 6. Dunno about praise but most of the pi nong likes me.....I think...

[unforgiven]

Yes indeed, all foreign husbands are great.......

....as long as they are paying!

I'm sure that you will make someone very happy one day....... please excuse me for deleting the extra spaces in your comment..... I can't stand wasted space.... especially between the ears

Exactly Thaddeus....... My wife is tighter than a duck's ar*e....with OUR money....

Note the "WE" and "OUR" Backpacker...Thai women are the same...Love first..then Stability...then a decent lifestyle..

So different from a western woman.... or a western man... I think not

Good post George...this is not a 100% reflection of Northeast life..how could it be?....there are problems....but its a fair 50% reflection of most relationships IMHO

Ya it's all about money$$$ and that's never the case with german or canadain etc women.............it's same same world over

[Napolean_Complex]

but are they in love?

"What's love got to do with it ?" Tina Turner

"Rain drops on roses, and whiskers on kittens"

Love, in the meaning that most people understand or have probably experienced is a short term hormonal imbalance, respect, honour, faithfulness, shared humour, admiration of another individual, tend to last a lot longer..... and that is the true meaning of a couple that want to stay together.

Infatuation comes first, love comes second, respect and comfort comes third........ respect lasts.

(Thanks for the moderation earlier.... well deserved)

To quote the famous movie ScarFace......First Comes the Money, then come the chicks, then comes the power !!!!!"

Nope its, First you get the power, then the money, then the chicks.

[IsaanAlex]

$$$

[Baht Man]

Oh at last, something positive! Back slaps all round Gentlemen!

And thank you Thai media!!

Give it a minute.

There are many posters here that will find something cynical (and ignorant) to say.

Edited August 26, 2006 by Baht Man

[britmaveric]

Perhaps if they interviewed the "foreigner husbands" they would find out that the husbands also find these relationships beneficial - especially compared to the less attractive alternatives in their home countries.......

kenk3z

[spicypete]

My goodness, why are so many people always willing to absolutely close their eyes to the truth or are so negative that they try to twist the truth. i now give you a voice of reality and reason:

in all countries around the world, women have looked at mens financial prowess. even men judge each other by the amount they make, or the title of their job.... or the beauty of the woman they have on their arm.

so lets all get off our high horses and get real... we all work for money, money is important, and if you come from a poor family, the biggest praise you can give to your new farange son in law is to vocaly give him credit for your higher standard of living.

so stop trying to look at things with a negative twist, and realize that all over the world the average men look for beauty and women look for stabuility. there will always be bad men and bad women... but that does not mean all are bad.

so when we judge others, we should first try to see things from their perspective, and accept a compliment and apreciation when it is given, and dont try to pick it apart just because you have a tainted perspective.

ok... breath, smile, and try to understand the true meaning of, and positive effect we could enjoy by adopting the thai words "MAI PEN RAI KHRAP" into our farang cultures.

sincerely SpicyPete.

[Canadianvisitor]

Hi Canadianvisitor (from Canada Obviously),

I asked a woman if she would like to dance at a function last week here in Toronto..

Her response was "Do you rent or do you own?"

No kidding.

Those of us who are fortunate enough to be able to afford to travel

bring the nest egg with us.

The Thai gentlemen are just the average citizen in thier villiage and their ability to gain wealth is severely handicapped.

The affluent foriegn tourist/expat is great for the Thai woman.

Hopefully the social standing of the newlyweds and such do not create any jealousy towards the husband, I don't think so too much however, as we love the Thai culture because of the relative peace.

Peace and happiness is much easier with a full wallet the world over.

"Mai pen rai khrap" could teach the world instead of the dollar.

Mind our manners and be like the good people we are assimilating with in the gentle Thai culture.

Edited August 26, 2006 by Canadianvisitor

[The Dan Sai Kid]

Oh at last, something positive! Back slaps all round Gentlemen!

And thank you Thai media!!

Give it a minute.

There are many posters here that will find something cynical (and ignorant) to say.

I don't know if this is cynical or ignorant, but they did only survey 12 people.

Is that a survey - I could find more people to talk to on the way to the nearest 7-11!

[Jeddah Jo]

As a general rule I would say give working class poorly educated people in Thailand an inch and they will take a mile. You better be damned sure you speak Thai and understand the greed, jealousy and ignorance that exists in a lot of lower class rural communities before you settle in to your wedded bliss.

Just the facts ma'am.

JJ.

[cobra]

I think this was already known,

but it's good to hear in the media in such a positive light.

[Pleng_Farrang]

CROSS-CULTURAL MARRIAGES

Foreign husbands pay off for Thais

BANGKOK: -- Cross-cultural ...ny employees.

--The Nation 2006-08-27

What utter drivil....

I remember when only important news stories come to my inbox... The quality of the "news" over the past week or two has gone rapidly downhill!

[britmaveric]

CROSS-CULTURAL MARRIAGES

Foreign husbands pay off for Thais

BANGKOK: -- Cross-cultural ...ny employees.

--The Nation 2006-08-27

What utter drivil....

I remember when only important news stories come to my inbox... The quality of the "news" over the past week or two has gone rapidly downhill!

Use your delete button and stop whinging!!!!

[tom21]

Quote

"At first, the neighbours were critical of my bringing a foreign husband home, but then they realised we did not cause them any trouble and brought good things here, so everyone wanted to talk with my husband and invite him to join their merit-making activities and parties," she said.

With her husband's pension of about Bt20,000 a month to support the family, she said they lived happily and comfortably enough.

i think they would have trouble living on Bt 20,000 in germany

Edited August 26, 2006 by tom21

[brahmburgers]

little money = little respect

big money = big respect

gargantuan money = prime ministership

'love' is some quaint notion that Thais become peripherally aware of by watching TV or movies or reading books. Oh forgot, Thais only read books if they have to.

[jackman]

Yes indeed, all foreign husbands are great.......

....as long as they are paying!

I'm sure that you will make someone very happy one day....... please excuse me for deleting the extra spaces in your comment..... I can't stand wasted space.... especially between the ears

Exactly Thaddeus....... My wife is tighter than a duck's ar*e....with OUR money....

Note the "WE" and "OUR" Backpacker...Thai women are the same...Love first..then Stability...then a decent lifestyle..

So different from a western woman.... or a western man... I think not

Good post George...this is not a 100% reflection of Northeast life..how could it be?....there are problems....but its a fair 50% reflection of most relationships IMHO

Ya it's all about money$$$ and that's never the case with german or canadain etc women.............it's same same world over

[jackman]

Yes indeed, all foreign husbands are great.......

....as long as they are paying!

I'm sure that you will make someone very happy one day....... please excuse me for deleting the extra spaces in your comment..... I can't stand wasted space.... especially between the ears

Exactly Thaddeus....... My wife is tighter than a duck's ar*e....with OUR money....

Note the "WE" and "OUR" Backpacker...Thai women are the same...Love first..then Stability...then a decent lifestyle..

So different from a western woman.... or a western man... I think not

Good post George...this is not a 100% reflection of Northeast life..how could it be?....there are problems....but its a fair 50% reflection of most relationships IMHO

Ya it's all about money$$$ and that's never the case with german or canadain etc women.............it's same same world over