Can someone give me advice on falling for a Thai girl?

[stephenpcasey]

My advice is to move on. Unfortunately sounds like the girl is more interested in Money rather than having a relationship. One word! NEXT!

Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

[Slinky1958]

At 24 go and enjoy life. Believe you me worse is to come from he she doesnt emotionally care about you

you only as good as you last Baht. And if the family get involed OMG you never satisfy them

Good luck

[mojorison]

Don't do it.

[slipperylobster]

We have all been "into" Thai girls before (especially the Isaan ones).

The important part of this is keeping your finances and head straight once you are no longer in them.

As long as money is not a factor, and you are not the jealous type (I would never want my girl giving any sort of massage...sexual or not).....then you should pursue the relationship..on a bf/gf type basis. Pen pals..etc. Each free to do what they want.

Remember her leverage is.....she must give massages to other men until you pay enough to allow her to return to the farm.

I attended a wedding 2 years ago in a small town in Udon Thani Province. Big sin sot, house built, pretty 22 year old girl with daughter.... Turns out a big loss for the Aussie man (in his 30's) . Her and her family chewed him up and spit him out. Dad drives the car and urinates in the toilet that the Aussie built, mom still takes care of the daughter, and that petty girl...well...she just wanted money....said she never loved him. Turned cold and she took to the bars (where her thai boyfriends/girlfriends hang out). Will shortly be hooking another. Her mom is friends with my wife..so I get the details. whew

Edited April 18, 2015 by slipperylobster

[realenglish1]

My experience

I am with my wife now for over 7 years

She is a stunner Very good looking model type and I did not know it but she had just gotten married but she did not tell me when we met over 7 years ago. Make a long story short

She divorced her husband and we have been together ever since.

I think you have to go with your heart but understand that she has done this before so you have to have mind set that she may do it again but also it may have just been a survival mode she was in

Either way I guess she seems to be an honest girl and One thing I have learned about Thai woman They do not fit the western mode

Your young Take a shot with her You never know she may end of the love of your life like my lady is

I got lucky here She has a great job and asks me for little in return except to love her and take care of her Which I do

[tonray]

At 24 it is inevitable you will fall hard for a girl, Thai or otherwise. have fun...never marry a girl who is playing you however, as she clearly was by taking $$ from the Brit. have fun....at 24 it's all about fun. When you are 54 come back and I'll give you a different answer....which is she is not worth it....she lies and cheats and that is not good at 54.

[Johnsy]

roro1990...you are a smart guy, you have legitimate concerns and after living here for 3 years my advice is have fun while it lasts, be careful with your money and walk away when it's not fun anymore, she will trade you in and upgrade in a heart beat as soon as someone else with more money or more promise comes along, that's just the way it is for most girls here. You will know when it's serious because you won't be asking these questions on a forum, good luck.

[Dannyboy666]

roro1990...you are a smart guy, you have legitimate concerns and after living here for 3 years my advice is have fun while it lasts, be careful with your money and walk away when it's not fun anymore, she will trade you in and upgrade in a heart beat as soon as someone else with more money or more promise comes along, that's just the way it is for most girls here. You will know when it's serious because you won't be asking these questions on a forum, good luck.

. BBD. Bigger Better Deal... If your gonna get screwed make sure it's a Stunner, for memories sake, 555555

[ChiangmaiRob]

Yes definitely! You are still young so go have some fun and while you're at it you'll get a fair idea how these Thai girls think and work. IMHO, although not guaranteed, you are far better, and safer, finding a girl with a normal job, bank, shop, office or similar. At least you know their jobs don't involve a certain "client satisfaction" as most "massage" jobs do! Good luck.

[nicepig]

Never trust a Thai, especially the women. Yours is playing the long game and being unfaithful so just have fun with her for 1-2 hours and give her some 'taxi' money (500 baht) to get her to leave.

[mikiea]

Your education is just beginning.

ehhh.... you do not know if sex will part of her job in korea ? you do not know about the massage scene in korea ? ehhhh. ... not to worry she is teaching poor korea kids how to give a thai rubdown...after work she reads the bible with the other ho's in the local church. and on weekend takes classes on how to be a better homemaker. not to worry, she will be just fine doing what she does best, breaking hearts :-)

[USNret]

Her life is full of drama. That won't change. If you want to be on edge with drama for the long run, she's the girl for you. For me, I was looking for a more level-headed girl who wasn't always making excuses, getting caught in lies, and crying on the phone. I found her 8 years ago, we are happily married & drama-free.

[gamini]

"Anyway to get to the major point of my post and the advice i'm looking for. I want to know am I being an idiot for pursuing this girl? "

YES

Advice comes from an old fart that has seen a lot of crying and promising from women through his life.

Ignore her, find another one.

Look at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself honestly can you find such a girl in your own country. I am asking this because many of the farangs who live here because no pretty girl would give them a second look in their own country. Here they can buy a girls affection with a little bit of money

[thejcb]

Very easy to answer this. Don't do it, don't bother !

[arjunadawn]

"Anyway to get to the major point of my post and the advice i'm looking for. I want to know am I being an idiot for pursuing this girl? "

YES

Advice comes from an old fart that has seen a lot of crying and promising from women through his life.

Ignore her, find another one.

Love Costas' posts but wanna add something on this one. Life is not a journey defined by not messing up in love. Your failures as well as your successes model you into whomever you will become, good or bad. Should you choose to look or find love based on a formula, the sage wisdom of people who have failed, or other guidance external to you, you will only succeed in living an illegitimate life (btw- my advice comes from success and failures also).

Not all women who massage are tricky or predators. Yes most women you meet would like a 'hansum man' and husband. No, love will not always fail. No, Thai women are not all predators. Thai women are very much like every other woman in the world though poverty exploits their weaknesses more apparently. Whether a relationship is successful or not is all due to your wisdom and intuition. Generally, if you need to be asking this question in forum you need to be looking elsewhere in love. In any event, if you establish a relationship of any sort I would advise one important thing: do not marry until the relationship is experienced over time and varying conditions of joint difficulty. Establish how your relationship responds to all sorts of stresses.

Whether she is the one for you or not its hard to forget you have already poisoned the well by seeding reservations in your mind. Perhaps you would not do this to yourself next time. If you make it through life without ever having your heart broken or shat upon then you can be sure you have not fully lived.

[ICECOOL]

It would be nice it at least one person posted a rational response, but i guess that was asking for too much

We have all met girls like this. Very nice girls BUT for them bottom line is survival and probably supporting their family in some way. She likely see's you as her dream man..young ..and probably very prestigious to have on her arm. As you say you don't give her money.....but how does she continue to support the family without it? She works in an industry where she meets a potential companion every other day and would get propositioned regularly. As you say she is poor so she really has no choice but to consider these as massage pays poor wages.

Go enjoy yourself but do not expect to meet the dream girl while you are...

[Rockhopper]

You better read:

Thailand Fever by Chris Pirazzi & Vitida Vasant

Private Dancer by Stephen Leather

Confessions of a Bangkok Private Eye as told to Stephen Leather

Working With the Thais by Henry Holmes & Suchada Tangtongtavy

[ToddinChonburi]

amazing what you find out about someone the longer you date, yes I said date. Every women has that wonderful side it is the F....ck up side you need to decide if you can tolerate.

starting out a relationship with a lie is a really bad idea because trust is a very important part.

Why is she going to Korea ?

What are here friends like ? you are the company you keep.

what is the rest of the family like ?

Are her parents still married and togehter ?

I will tell you thailand is like a candy store there are many treats to choose from.

[slipperylobster]

You are asking advice on how to win a poker game with a pair of deuces....from a bunch of guys that just lost the farm.

If you want...go ahead...she is a great choice....tie the knot.

Is that the advice you wanted?

[slipperylobster]

You better read:

Thailand Fever by Chris Pirazzi & Vitida Vasant

Private Dancer by Stephen Leather

Confessions of a Bangkok Private Eye as told to Stephen Leather

Working With the Thais by Henry Holmes & Suchada Tangtongtavy

The reason only four books were written, was that the other books were never finished. Author deceased...suicide, etc.

By the way...can you refer us to the Massage shop? We could then give further input.

Edited April 18, 2015 by slipperylobster

[Ianatlarge]

What can I say? Many things. I will go with: if she makes you happy, for for it. See what happens. BUT — keep half your money where she cannot get her hands on it. And if things go south, don't do anything stupid.

[Ianatlarge]

What can I say? Many things. I will go with: if she makes you happy, for for it. See what happens. BUT — keep half your money where she cannot get her hands on it. And if things go south, don't do anything stupid.

[ToddinChonburi]

I read your post over a couple more times and I asked myself if you were my good friend what would I say ?

RUN not WALK from this girl but unfortunately I do know you can not tell someone what to do .

I think deep down inside you know but your hoping one of us old farts can save you.

WE CAN NOT !!!!! many of us have seen or experienced this on our own.

Many of these girls do exactly this waiting for the best option to come along, many take money from as many men as they can while it lasts trying to survive and give money to there family.

Feeling sorry for her will only make it more painful in the end.

There are many good Thai women with good educations and jobs that will be a much better match for you. Take your time and believe in yourself.

[micmichd]

How can you tell when a Thai girl is lying? ...her lips are moving?out

That is an over generalization, but in the case of Isaan girls, (and Buri Ram is in Isaan) it is pretty much the norm. Guys like you are like a winnig lottery ticket. Instant fortune for her and her family. Funny how Thai guys knock them up and then leave them to raise the kid on their own, with no repercussions, but a Farang guy comes along and if he does not fork out for her kids and family, he is a Cheap Charlie!!

They love money, not you. They will do anything for money, ... sell themselves for sex, pretended love or companionship. Do n ot fall for their lies and stories of woe, ...Daddy is sick, the buffalo died, the wheel fell off the pickup truck, school fees due, ..... always something to get your wallet out!

Do you really think that any Farang woman is better?

Edited April 18, 2015 by micmichd

[micmichd]

What can I say? Many things. I will go with: if she makes you happy, for for it. See what happens. BUT keep half your money where she cannot get her hands on it. And if things go south, don't do anything stupid.

Best advice so far.

I've done this: shared 50 / 50 with my gf, since 2 years, and it worked out fine (most of the time)

[ozyjon]

Go ahead and marry her, remember at your age

you are probably out of school and starting your

life so (unlike some of us) you haven't amassed

any great wealth or saving so you are in a better

position than me, go ahead follow your penis

heart and have fun,, i've been there and "Private

Dancer'' a mirror of my life, now it's your turn.

[Tonawatchee]

Don't.

[bob009]

Everybody’s opinion will differ. You already know what you are going to do , you are just in limbo looking for approval which none of us can give as we are not you. Just don’t get burnt. Good luck

[Lekong]

I don't think you need advice here. You have seen her enough to make your judgement. She left you and went to meet a another man, telling you she was going to Malaysia for work while you were here. Again you are here and she is off to South Korea for work. Do you really think she has your interest and loves you?????? Stop bothering people about what you have seen and know best. If she loves you and will change as you are thinking, then she will not abandon you in her apartment on two good occasions. Leave her alone as she does not need you. That is why she is leaving you alone.

[HooHaa]

It would be nice it at least one person posted a rational response, but i guess that was asking for too much

a rational response?

you mean one you want to hear?

i usually just ignore posts like yours because i assume men like you are beyond hope, but if you want a rational response here it is:

you are deluded if you think things will get better.

she already has a sponsor AND she is currently in korea, likely 'working'.

enjoy her if you can keep your wits about you, but if you cant, run.

i have known many girls like this over the years, some do have a heart of gold and may genuinely like you, but make no mistake, their affections are a luxury and the bill is being footed by someone, else, if not yourself.