What is it about some Men who Bring Thai women to the UK

[Thongkorn]

I dont know how long this topic will last maybe get closed, hope not because i just want to show the other side of Good Thai women.

Where i live in the UK there are quite a few Thai women 99% married happily, At the moment there are three of them going through a bad time because basically their husbands are pricks.,To put it mildly. I dont understand why men/boys Marry Thai women, Go through all the trouble of getting Visas and Life in the UK,to bring them back to the UK, just to abuse them, Mentally and physically. Most of us Thai/English couples in the area, are trying no to get involved, but how long do you keep out, and not give advise and assistance when asked for.The latest idiot who has abused his wife, by beatings and mental cruelty, She got a job to send money home, as most all do, that's Thai culture, she has to buy her own food and toiletry's,although her husband has a business,, because he says she is working so she can pay for her own things, he is a total control freak, He has cameras linked to his phone so he can see who is coming and going to his house, along with GPS linked to her phone so he knows where she is at all times. she came home from work a few days ago to find a note saying,"he had gone to Pattya, this is the third time, She got hold of him a few days later on his phone to hear a Thai girl say "who that Darling" , his reply was," its friend", That was the last straw for her, she has asked for Help,So do we help her by showing her how to start proceedings against him, as in divorce, and point her in the right direction to see Solicitors. or do we stand back and let this person carry on abusing this Girl/lady. We have not got involved for four years but we think now is the time. any thoughts

[Soutpeel]

he is a total control freak

there is your answer, the guys concerned doesn't want a wife he wants a servant he can have sex with, for the most part he wouldn't get away with this marrying a western woman who would most likely tell him to go <deleted> himself, that's what this is all about intimidation and control, its actually abuse

Seen a few of them being like this in Thailand, usually an older guy who very insecure with a younger Thai lady, and at times took all my will power not the smack the unt in the mouth and show him what physical abuse is

[Costas2008]

Yes, you should introduce her to a good solicitor to initiate divorce proceedings and I hope he tries to get as much as he can from this prick.

The problem is that it will cost a lot for her and I hope she is not abused in the meantime.

But do try to help her, it's a good deed you will be doing in your life.

[Linky]

Just help her get away from him. No need to point her to solicitors.

But I would help her get a restraining order against him.

[Somtamnication]

I read somewhere that the Thai embassy in London get an average of 18 Thai women every day wanting to go back home due to abuse.

[Aussieroaming]

My only comment is that if you get involved you can't back out when it gets dirty, so think it through. No one likes to watch an abusive relationship but it is their relationship not yours.

[MaeJoMTB]

Mind your own business.

Break off all contact with the couple if you don't like what's happening.

Edited April 25, 2015 by MaeJoMTB

[uptheos]

I read somewhere that the Thai embassy in London get an average of 18 Thai women every day wanting to go back home due to abuse.

Wonder if the Thai Embassy in London is as helpful as the British Embassy in Bangkok?

[JingerBen]

I read somewhere that the Thai embassy in London get an average of 18 Thai women every day wanting to go back home due to abuse.

That sounds like a lot.

Where did you read it?

[Lucifer]

I read somewhere that the Thai embassy in London get an average of 18 Thai women every day wanting to go back home due to abuse.

...so, about 5000 a year. Utter rubbish.

[CharlieH]

This would be better suited to the Marriage forum.

MOVED

[Craig krup]

Luckily the bully seems to be so thick that he's established residence in the UK and given the British courts - God I hope it's England - jurisdiction. He's got a business? He had a business.

[Chivas]

I read somewhere that the Thai embassy in London get an average of 18 Thai women every day wanting to go back home due to abuse.

...so, about 5000 a year. Utter rubbish.

Thats a laugh.......only abuse their husbands might give is how much they have lost this time in the Casino........ Never mind 90% resort to "type" within a year and the rest are on the lash nightly......

Thais dont want to leave the UK once they get here !! 18 a day !! I doubt if it reaches that total in an entire year

[Craig krup]

....oh, and the cops are red hot on domestic abuse and the violating of court orders because (after all the scandals) they're terrified of a murder happening after it's been flagged up.

http://www.womensaid.org.uk/domestic-violence-survivors-handbook.asp?section=000100010008000100330002

Once the courts get involved and physically robust cops start foot-sweeping aggressive half-wits and dropping on them with their knees, cuffing them and chucking them in a cell, it all gets a bit too real for the average wife-beater.

[Thongkorn]

Thanks for the Input, She has two year left on her visa, just found out, she has been in the UK for over four years, its her second Visa, she has not got IDL yet, is there any way around it, she has a good job and an National insurance number, i though of getting in touch with the Boarder agency and telling them she is being abused mentally and physically. maybe she can get IDL because of abuse, the good thing is she did once call the police just after he trapped her hand in a door and beat her, so there is some record of abuse.

Edited April 25, 2015 by Thongkorn

[rwdrwdrwd]

There is indeed legislation to help her get ILR as a victim of Domestic Violence - here is the application form - https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/application-to-settle-in-uk-form-setdv

Should be noted, that there's a new law that also outlaws 'controlling behaviour', which the activity you describe certainly covers (in particular the GPS tracking) - http://www.bbc.com/news/uk-30532087 - not sure if this law is 100% in place yet, but it is well on the way.

Edited April 25, 2015 by rwdrwdrwd

[phrodan]

Mind your own business.

Break off all contact with the couple if you don't like what's happening.

Absurd and pitiful.

Shame on you.

[MaeJoMTB]

Mind your own business.

Break off all contact with the couple if you don't like what's happening.

Absurd and pitiful.

Shame on you.

The OP has no idea what's going on.

Probably getting told a pack of lies so she can make a realistic claim for IDR, and get a younger/richer husband without leaving.

Or it could be the complete and utter truth, and she should leave the UK immediately.

Sometimes women tell lies to get sympathy and assets, and they're usually very good at it.

Nothing at all stopping this woman from leaving the UK and returning to Thailand, if she doesn't want the husband she has no right to be in the UK.

Edited April 25, 2015 by MaeJoMTB

[samuibeachcomber]

Many pitiful insecure men in the world,young and old.If this story is all true why cant she just up and leave?

[Soutpeel]

Many pitiful insecure men in the world,young and old.If this story is all true why cant she just up and leave?

you have no idea what he has told her, one assumes she comes from a poorer area of Thailand and the UK is her first trip/living overseas and knowing the distrust of the police in Thailand the general thai population have, he could easily tell her, he will have her jailed/killed if she leaves/ has held per passport etc. and from her frame of reference, she will believe him as she may well believe the police are the same the world over as in Thailand.

Is it all conceivable what she is going through is real ?....very much so, as mentioned in a earlier thread seen older men behaving in the similar manner in Thailand with verbal abuse of their younger wives and they come across as if the wives are "their" property, so god only knows what goes on behind closed doors at home.

Its very simplistic for everyone to say "just leave" but in cases like this never that simple

Edited April 26, 2015 by Soutpeel

[ttthailand]

No man should ever beat a woman. There are however two sides to every story. Is this girl screwing around or not doing her share around the house ? Is she also abusive ? Make sure you got the real facts and not just her stories before you start helping.

[Soutpeel]

No man should ever beat a woman. There are however two sides to every story. Is this girl screwing around or not doing her share around the house ? Is she also abusive ? Make sure you got the real facts and not just her stories before you start helping.

Even if she is doing things like that no justification to slap her around, just throw her out, divorce her and send her back to Thailand if that's the case.

look at the facts as know, not even related to accusations of abuse

He has cameras linked to his phone so he can see who is coming and going to his house

along with GPS linked to her phone so he knows where she is at all times.

to find a note saying,"he had gone to Pattya, this is the third time

This stays to me he is one sick puppy

Edited April 26, 2015 by Soutpeel

[JB300]

The 1st 2 #could# be quite innocuous,

1) It's not uncommon for people to have security cameras at their house & for these to be accessible via the web for times when they're away (much less sinister than "Cameras Linked to his Phone")

2) the GPS could be something as simple as Latitude or FindMyIPhone (Again, less sinister than "GPS tracking so he knows where she is all the time").

But the 3rd one! If he cared about her at all he would have lied & told her he was going on a business trip to somewhere else...

Edited April 26, 2015 by JB300

[NeverSure]

But the 3rd one! If he cared about her at all he would have lied & told her he was going on a business trip to somewhere else...

[MaeJoMTB]

No man should ever beat a woman. There are however two sides to every story. Is this girl screwing around or not doing her share around the house ? Is she also abusive ? Make sure you got the real facts and not just her stories before you start helping.

Even if she is doing things like that no justification to slap her around, just throw her out, divorce her and send her back to Thailand if that's the case.

look at the facts as know, not even related to accusations of abuse

He has cameras linked to his phone so he can see who is coming and going to his house

along with GPS linked to her phone so he knows where she is at all times.

to find a note saying,"he had gone to Pattya, this is the third time

This stays to me he is one sick puppy

The facts we know are NONE.

We have a story from the OP, who is retelling a story from someone else.

What has the OP seen for himself ....... I'm guessing nothing.

Even the GPS & camera story sounds wrong, ever tried to setup a remote webcam ......... it's hard, and it's expensive.

Setting up more than one from a home, as claimed here, not likely.

Edited April 26, 2015 by MaeJoMTB

[DDuval]

Where i live in the UK there are quite a few Thai women ???

Where do you live Pattaya?

sA few Thai woman, dosent say much for your neck of the woods... You dont by any chance live in Bournemouth

[JB300]

No man should ever beat a woman. There are however two sides to every story. Is this girl screwing around or not doing her share around the house ? Is she also abusive ? Make sure you got the real facts and not just her stories before you start helping.

Even if she is doing things like that no justification to slap her around, just throw her out, divorce her and send her back to Thailand if that's the case.

look at the facts as know, not even related to accusations of abuse

He has cameras linked to his phone so he can see who is coming and going to his house

along with GPS linked to her phone so he knows where she is at all times.

to find a note saying,"he had gone to Pattya, this is the third time

This stays to me he is one sick puppy

The facts we know are NONE.

We have a story from the OP, who is retelling a story from someone else.

What has the OP seen for himself ....... I'm guessing nothing.

Even the GPS & camera story sounds wrong, ever tried to setup a remote webcam ......... it's hard, and it's expensive.

Setting up more than one from a home, as claimed here, not likely.

The guy in question owns a business so it's not inconceivable that he has a similar set-up for that which #could# be extended (on the company £) to his home...

Absolute pure speculation obviously & that's the point, but the "He has cameras linked to his phone so he can see who is coming and going to his house" sets a somewhat different tone than "He has CCTV cameras at home that he can access over the Internet".

[rwdrwdrwd]

No man should ever beat a woman. There are however two sides to every story. Is this girl screwing around or not doing her share around the house ? Is she also abusive ? Make sure you got the real facts and not just her stories before you start helping.

Even if she is doing things like that no justification to slap her around, just throw her out, divorce her and send her back to Thailand if that's the case.

look at the facts as know, not even related to accusations of abuse

He has cameras linked to his phone so he can see who is coming and going to his house

along with GPS linked to her phone so he knows where she is at all times.

to find a note saying,"he had gone to Pattya, this is the third time

This stays to me he is one sick puppy

The facts we know are NONE.

We have a story from the OP, who is retelling a story from someone else.

What has the OP seen for himself ....... I'm guessing nothing.

Even the GPS & camera story sounds wrong, ever tried to setup a remote webcam ......... it's hard, and it's expensive.

Setting up more than one from a home, as claimed here, not likely.

Both of them are really easy

- Tracking a phone - http://www.wikihow.com/GPS-Track-a-Cell-Phone

- CCTV linked to mobile - http://www.cctvcamerapros.com/HD-SDI-CCTV-DVR-p/vt-hd408.htm and many other brands - less than a thousand US and can connect to 12 cameras, all recorded, with motion detection alerts and simulteneous playback and recording capability.

Edited April 26, 2015 by rwdrwdrwd

[DDuval]

because he says she is working so she can pay for her own thing

Don't understand your point. She has a job so why not pay for her own things????

[MaeJoMTB]

because he says she is working so she can pay for her own thing

Don't understand your point. She has a job so why not pay for her own things????

Normally Thai women who have married a foreigner for money expect him to pay for everything and keep the money they earn for themselves.

Come to think of it, a lot of English women do that too.