Family insistence upon a nickname

[MyFriend You]

As for Ben, it's a normal nickname in Thai, why you are offended ?

my girlfriend's name is Benjamaporn, every body calls her Ben, it's also a boy name

as for Fa, again, why are you upset ? her official name will be Daphne and everybody will call her Fa, very easy to pronounce here, and Thai people like one

syllabe name ; many nicknames are choosen when the baby is born ; Lek, dam, daeng

Please....reread my comment.

So the nickname they chose for your son was Kabul? That is a strange nn!

Min is a good nickname as he'll probably get the nickname Ben if you ever take him to UK/US

Yes it was a very strange nickname....hence my comment. And google did not need to be my friend at the time. Whilst thinking more about it, he has been called....Jamin...too, for a while. This was before the Min period....later it has been Ben mixed with Benjamin.

Please forgive me if I am wrong - but won't they pronounce his name as "Ben Ya Min"

[wooloomooloo]

My wife has the obligatory Thai nickname and after years of referring to my wife as such, I showed my workmate an official document for conversational purposes and he picked up on the discrepancy between her given name and nickname immediately. It was like he felt that he'd been deceived for those past years. Anyway, he's been suitably educated.

It's not hard for us here in the UK as official business is strictly conducted in my wife's given name and socially she's referred to by her nickname and we never mix it up. Furthermore, she's never referred to by her given name on a social basis as this would be disrespectful. You might know her given name, but only her nickname is to be used socially, so there are some social rules to the practice. Only her parents' can comfortably call her by her given name and that's that, not that they do, anyway.

So, officially you can refer to her given name but not carry it over to a social situation. Not hard to understand.

[Your Thainess]

Having lived in Thailand for many years, I have no lack of understanding of the place or significance of nicknames in Thai society. I am aware of how they are typically given and used. I know that a great majority of Thais and their families are at ease using nicknames. As this tradition is not new to me, I don't need to be reassured of its innocent intentions. I also don't need the insinuation that I am upsetting some sacrosanct part of the local culture, as it simply isn't the case.

I'm hip to all of that, it's fine for other people. But the fact is that it's not for me. In my OP, I pointed out that both my wife and I disliked our childhood nicknames. I also mentioned that we had seemed to be united in resisting a nickname, but the plan fell flat.

There's nothing in my point of view which ought to be construed as ignorance or failure to play along without a good reason. I'm not being grumpy about it, and I'm not belittling the practice. But it's our child, pure and simple. If a nickname just had to be given, my wife and I should have final say. We also have no desire whatsoever to use different names in different settings, regardless of how others do or don't feel bothered by doing.

Should I use the justification of 'that's what the great majority of people do with their children' for all my decisions? That sounds like quite the slippery slope.

The fact that we reside in Thailand does not mean that Thai culture trumps my own. My wife respects this, thankfully, and we consider our backgrounds and expectations to be absolutely equal. More importantly, though, culture itself does not trump our decisions as parents.

My wife is in a tough position not to fight this with family members, but we are on the same page. We are just going to take the strategy of ignoring it. They can call her whatever they like. The child, who will no doubt attend international school alongside me (as a teacher), can sort it out for herself later, if that's even necessary. Thank you to those who gave constructive advice (rather than explaining it to me as though I didn't understand the practice).

Best wishes

Edited April 27, 2015 by Your Thainess

[Linzz]

As for Ben, it's a normal nickname in Thai, why you are offended ?

my girlfriend's name is Benjamaporn, every body calls her Ben, it's also a boy name

as for Fa, again, why are you upset ? her official name will be Daphne and everybody will call her Fa, very easy to pronounce here, and Thai people like one

syllabe name ; many nicknames are choosen when the baby is born ; Lek, dam, daeng

Please....reread my comment.

So the nickname they chose for your son was Kabul? That is a strange nn!

Min is a good nickname as he'll probably get the nickname Ben if you ever take him to UK/US

Yes it was a very strange nickname....hence my comment. And google did not need to be my friend at the time. Whilst thinking more about it, he has been called....Jamin...too, for a while. This was before the Min period....later it has been Ben mixed with Benjamin.

Don't worry your son will have many nicknames forever changing according to where you live. Thai change identity whenever they want and often if you haven't noticed! Don't dig your heels in, go with the flow if you want a quiet life!

[MaeJoMTB]

I must be the only person in Thailand whose son doesn't have a nickname.

Nobody has even suggested it.

[sir charles IV]

You're trying to come across as open minded, understanding and compliant. But it's not working! The length of your post and the mere fact that u made the post over a relatively non-issue suggests that it has bothered u. Every Thai gets a nick name and in most cases it's given the same way as your bundle of joy has received hers. Don't be a cry baby and accept it. It's a term of endearment and just because u had no control over it don't be a sook about it. Daphne is a gorgeous name but it is not as was as u think for Thais.

[sir charles IV]

Easy

[DrTuner]

For Thais it's a non-brainer. Watthanapphawitthyabadaboombingasingalongpornthipadibabadoohip versus Nok.

[Konaboy1]

One of the most beautiful girls I ever saw, and who worked for a bank in Pattaya was called MOO.(pig)

A neighbours daughter is nicknamed PIH, which when translated means pussy!

Then there are all the other ridiculous nicknames that families use. We have an EM and EN in my village, who play with WAN and WAAN.

My 5 year old son was given the nickname--"Party"

[50baht]

I was given the name Mr. Moo.

Because I like crisby Pork right ?

[50baht]

I must be the only person in Thailand whose son doesn't have a nickname.

Nobody has even suggested it.

I heard it was "ATM Noi" เล็ก ๆ น้อย ๆ เอทีเอ็ม

.

[wooloomooloo]

My wife's nickname at school was Moo Wan, literally translated as sweet pork as she was quite a big girl when she was younger. It wasn't bullying, just an endearing nickname and very well thought out. Pork for her body shape and sweet for her nature.

[benalibina]

My wife's nickname at school was Moo Wan, literally translated as sweet pork as she was quite a big girl when she was younger. It wasn't bullying, just an endearing nickname and very well thought out. Pork for her body shape and sweet for her nature.

When she has a hot temper tantrum, how do you call her then ?

[sir charles IV]

My wife's is Ruj. I believe it means rat. Can the experts confirm the meaning please.

[sir charles IV]

For Thais it's a non-brainer. Watthanapphawitthyabadaboombingasingalongpornthipadibabadoohip versus Nok.

spot on doc. In oz we have the "opposite" thing. Long names are shortened while short names are lengthen. Michael becomes mick and John becomes johno. Go figure. [emoji81][emoji81][emoji81][emoji81]

[canuckamuck]

My wife's nickname at school was Moo Wan, literally translated as sweet pork as she was quite a big girl when she was younger. It wasn't bullying, just an endearing nickname and very well thought out. Pork for her body shape and sweet for her nature.

When she has a hot temper tantrum, how do you call her then ?

Moo Prick

[Aforek]

My wife's is Ruj. I believe it means rat. Can the experts confirm the meaning please.

Normally rat is "noo", like mouse , but รัตน์ ( rat ), ( also rut, rutna ) is a thai female given name or nickname ( it means in this case : precious stone, gem )

I am not an expert, I just look at thai-language.com

as a normal name รัตน์ means jewel, precious stone, gem; excellent thing, valuable or desirable thing ( again, thai-language.com and my own dictionnary )

[Aforek]

as a normal name รัตน์ means jewel, precious stone, gem; excellent thing, valuable or desirable thing ( again, thai-language.com and my own dictionnary )

I mean " as a normal noun ", not " as a normal name" , sorry

[sir charles IV]

Got it. Thanks for the research and feedback.

[benalibina]

You're trying to come across as open minded, understanding and compliant. But it's not working! The length of your post and the mere fact that u made the post over a relatively non-issue suggests that it has bothered u. Every Thai gets a nick name and in most cases it's given the same way as your bundle of joy has received hers. Don't be a cry baby and accept it. It's a term of endearment and just because u had no control over it don't be a sook about it. Daphne is a gorgeous name but it is not as was as u think for Thais.

Thank you for belittling my point of view, genuinely felt concerns about the identity of my child, ability to relate with my own family members, and grasp of common sense. Your condesension is noted.

You can explain it to them, but you cannot understand it for them.

Follow your instincts on this matter.

Maybe the following, temporary, nickname can have some use.......luug......you will hear it often by people who adress your daughter but know her name.