That Old Dilemma Again

[Neeranam]

I know a guy who has been married for 10 years or so but I found out that his wife is still 'married' to a Thai guy. Not a great surprise to me as I suspected it years ago. The dilemma is the guy is in his 70s and has ill-health and every time I see him he speaks about how much he loves his wife and she him. It got so bad I couldn't even be together with them both. His wife has been milking him for years and has land, property all over the place. I recently got proof that the 'ex' is still on the scene and she even lives with him often and bought him a car. He doesn't work while the farang guy still works his ass off.

Do I tell the guy or not - maybe it will kill him!

[piersbeckett]

In my experience some farangs just don't wanna hear it and 'go off' you when you tell 'em, others know but don't want to be reminded of it, some feel forever indebted to you for enlightening them and others again expect it because of the culture and age difference, thinking 'she makes me feel a thousand times happier than I felt without her, what does it matter what price I pay?'

I s'pose you have to sound him out as to which category you think he belongs to and take it from there. Working his butt off at seventy with ill health, he must be a workaholic, desperate for money or just wants to give her as much as he can while he can, showing her what a great provider he is.

Funny old game!

Edited April 27, 2015 by piersbeckett

[Loptr]

If it were me, I would want to know, no matter how much it hurt... Better to know the truth than to live a lie...

[CharlieH]

Tell him the exact same story, but say its someone else you know, ask what he would do, then you have the answer you want and know what direction to take.

[berybert]

He probably already knows. Anyway why not destroy the end of his life. I hope he says thank you.

[bannork]

Don't tell him Neeranam, he's probably not long for this world by the sounds of it and if he's so proud of his wife by telling him you will just destroy any reason he has to go on living.

If he was 20 years younger there may be a point but it's too late now.

[Gecko123]

There was an interesting story in the Thai Rath newspaper the other day...

A Thai woman living abroad with her European husband had been sending money back home for years to her "family." In reality, she was supporting her former Thai husband, to the tune of a "house and land worth several million baht, along with cars and other property.

The Thai wife living in Europe got found out that her former husband had become involved with another Thai woman. In a pique of jealous rage, the Thai wife hired three guys to kill the former husband in revenge for his lack of appreciation for everything she had done for him. The hit team killed the former husband, who happened to be the Puu Yai of the village, but were ultimately caught and arrested.

Edited April 27, 2015 by Gecko123

[AlexRRR]

Let him live in his dream, at that age he has decided not to look reality in the eye if hes seen it, if he has he is ignoring it and you wont be appreciated.

If it helps you its not your problem, he seems to be happy as it is so should you.

[EmptyHead]

If you were properly integrated into Thai society you would know exactly what to do.

[AYJAYDEE]

why would you tell him? what purpose would it serve?

[MAJIC]

If you were properly integrated into Thai society you would know exactly what to do.

So please feel free to advise us all as stupid Farangs,what miraculous cure that Thai Society would bestow on us,the fact that we need to live with lying,cheating, and devious behaviour and that we would see the light if only we could abandon our principles,everything we have ever learned, and held dear,and change our views about turn 180%.

Sorry to say your user name is very appropriate!

Edited June 22, 2015 by MAJIC

[AYJAYDEE]

If you were properly integrated into Thai society you would know exactly what to do.

So please feel free to advise us all as stupid Farangs,what miraculous cure that Thai Society would bestow on us,the fact that we need to live with lying,cheating, and devious behaviour and that we would see the light if only we could abandon our principles,everything we have ever learned, and held dear,and change our views about turn 180%.

Sorry to say your user name is very appropriate!

as he said, if you understood thai society, you would know what to do based on your own wisdom. thai society won't provide the cure, just the context. the rest is up to you. good luck.

[NoshowJones]

That's some story Neeranam, and very easy to believe, but no, I would not tell him, he may even know already.