American gay couple unable to leave Thailand with daughter

[webfact]

Gay couple unable to leave Thailand with daughter
by Michael K. Lavers

WASHINGTON: -- A Florida man claims he and his husband are unable to leave Thailand with their infant daughter because the woman who gave birth to her objects to the fact they are a same-sex couple.

Gordon “Bud” Lake told the Washington Blade during a Skype interview on June 9 that he met the surrogate mother in person for the first time the day before his daughter, Carmen Santos Lake, was born in a Bangkok hospital on Jan. 17.

He said he visited her in the subsequent days, and brought his son Álvaro, who was born through a surrogate in India in August 2013, with him. Lake told the Blade that his husband, who is from Spain, did not accompany him.

Lake said the surrogate — who is not the baby’s biological mother — agreed to list him on their daughter’s birth certificate as her father. He told the Blade the surrogate also signed a consent form that allowed him to take her from the hospital.

“All seemed to be going well,” wrote Lake in an email to the Blade earlier this month. “Carmen was beautiful, happy and healthy. The surrogate was fully cooperating and I was looking forward to heading home with my family in a matter of weeks, once all the remaining paperwork was finalized.”

Full story: http://www.washingtonblade.com/2015/06/24/gay-couple-unable-to-leave-thailand-with-daughter/

-- Washington Blade 2015-06-25

[Stradavarius37]

I thought surrogacy was banned by the legislature a few months ago....

[Jingthing]

I thought surrogacy was banned by the legislature a few months ago....

Not in effect yet apparently.

This couple is sounding optimistic but I wouldn't be if I were them.

[bamnutsak]

Just make a run to the ATM, and surrogate's family will be satisfied...for a few weeks.

[JohnnyJazz]

This is so wrong. A surrogate who is not the biological mother (smell fishy already) agrees to put someone name on a birth certificate and a man can walk away with a baby, just like that ???

What next ? A "baby" section in Ali Express ???

[tajtom]

Just another opportunist Thai using the countries trigger exstortion seems to be the one here everyone else uses it, yes so will I.

Once a deal is done it should be in writing SO ??

[bamnutsak]

"A surrogate who is not the biological mother (smell fishy already)"

I assume the egg came from another source (gestational)? Hopefully not a fish.

[reggaebkk]

Gay couple.... baby... I don't need to read the rest, if this is a debate then the world's gone to shayte... wake me up when I wake up...

[RedNIvar]

I have no objection to life style choices. Gay, straight or whatever. I do have concern however when you deviate out of your lifestyle choice. If the gay way of life produces off spring then hey congrats. However a gay coupleseeking surrogacy is a tad bit hypocrital to me. You choose a gay lifestyle but yearn the outcome of a straight lifestyle. If you do have money and feel the need for a child, then adopt. There are so many orphans in this world.

[alant]

looks a bit fishy to me, a surrogate that is not the biological mother! how does that work? It seems the couple are looking to cheat the system and nature.

[maoro2013]

I totally disagree with same sex couples bringing up children. The child is reared in an unusual environment whatever the gays might like to make out.

[cumgranosalum]

"Release the homophobes!"

[FloridaExport]

"Release the homophobes!"

I expected expats living in Thailand to be a little bit more open minded myself.

It seems they are torn between "keep those fags away from having kids" or "make them raise one of the babies from a bar girl I got pregnant while cheating on my wife".

[alex88]

I have no objection to life style choices. Gay, straight or whatever. I do have concern however when you deviate out of your lifestyle choice. If the gay way of life produces off spring then hey congrats. However a gay coupleseeking surrogacy is a tad bit hypocrital to me. You choose a gay lifestyle but yearn the outcome of a straight lifestyle. If you do have money and feel the need for a child, then adopt. There are so many orphans in this world.

Except nobody chooses to be gay. Why the hell would somebody choose to live a life if constant discrimination and regular threats of violence? Do you think you could suddenly choose to be sexually attracted to the same sex if you wanted to? I don't think so. Same goes the other way. How you feel about the sex with the same sex is how gays feel about sex with the opposite sex. It's pretty simple!

[cumgranosalum]

I have no objection to life style choices. Gay, straight or whatever. I do have concern however when you deviate out of your lifestyle choice. If the gay way of life produces off spring then hey congrats. However a gay coupleseeking surrogacy is a tad bit hypocrital to me. You choose a gay lifestyle but yearn the outcome of a straight lifestyle. If you do have money and feel the need for a child, then adopt. There are so many orphans in this world.

" have no objection to life style choices" - "You choose a gay lifestyle" - YES! they were probably given dolls as kids!

Edited June 25, 2015 by cumgranosalum

[Srikcir]

I thought surrogacy was banned by the legislature a few months ago....

Pregnancy would have occured nine months ago. The government didn't require abortions of current surrogate pregnancies.

[Yunla]

I agree with earlier posters about adoption. I grew up in a children's home and like most kids in that situation I just wanted to get out by any means possible. If the parents were gay I would not have minded one bit, as long as they had a clean warm home and didn't want to hurt me. If they were kind and loving people, that would have been the icing on the cake, but I would have settled for anything that was better than the state-run children's home.

I'm loathe to compare it to adopting dogs, but in a way there is a comparison, it is always far better to adopt a dog than to go shopping for puppy-farmed dogs in shops.

[Vogele123]

Can anyone spot something terribly wrong in this sentence? or is it just me.

"A Florida man claims he and his husband ...."

The damn world has gone quite mad.

[h90]

This is so wrong. A surrogate who is not the biological mother (smell fishy already) agrees to put someone name on a birth certificate and a man can walk away with a baby, just like that ???

What next ? A "baby" section in Ali Express ???

So the mother who is not the mother and one of the fathers is not the father.

It is disturbing that a baby is product that you tell how to mix up, select a good egg, some good sperm and what surrogate is healthy and has good blood values.

I think that kind of thing should be complete banned and the only allowed thing is when at a normal couple where she has eggs and he has sperm she has some medical conditions so she can't carry the baby. So it is really genetically theirs.

[gandalf12]

I reckon it must be strange for the child if they are with a gay couple. I would think it would really have a psychological effect on them that wwould stay with them for life

[cumgranosalum]

I totally disagree with same sex couples bringing up children. The child is reared in an unusual environment whatever the gays might like to make out.

...and you weren't?

[MockingJay]

The whole surrogate thing should be banned worldwide with hefty penalties for violators!

There are more than enough unfortunate children waiting in orphanages all over the world to get the chance of finding loving foster parents. Take one of them as your child!!!

At some point kids want to know their true biological parents, so what they gonna tell those surrogate kids? Something like this? "It was a business you know - your biological mom carried you out just to make some extra cash but did not have any bond with you, letting alone love you? By the way, we have no idea who she was, where she lives and are also not allowed to check up on that... Oh, before I forgot - I am not your real dad, neither is Joe, your other dad... Your bio dad was a anonymous donor, I'm sorry!"

Great for the kid, aye? What a twisted, sick world we live in, where family means nothing anymore, the typical mom, dad, kid family is made "so last season" by all those gender mainstream idiots and the media who finds it "all so hot right now"... I am sick and tired of all this! Also, gays have chosen a bond with a person of the same gender, so biologically their partnership will not "generate" children, so deal with it!

I was fortunate enough to grow up with a loving mom and a loving dad, as a true, real family and daily thank the lord on my knees for just that. I feel for all the unfortunate foster kids who are unwanted, overlooked by wannabe foster parents who search for a cute cuddly one, while the 6, 7year olds and above will realize sooner or later that the dream of having a mom and a dad will remain a pipe dream for the rest of their lifes... I feel for all the unfortunate surrogate children who will at some point in their lifes wake up to the fact that their parents are fake ones and the real ones just "made" them... I feel for all the unfortunate children who will be mobbed and laughed at at school because they have two dads or two moms...

However, I am not naive enough to not understand that many of the standard families have their own problems with abusive dads, drunk parents, a hard core business mom who has no time or empathy to invest, etc. thus I feel for them two and understand also that a child of a domestic violence family might be better off with a gay couple who truly loves that kid. But then at least it would be an adopted foster child, but not a "surrogate lab creation".

Edited June 25, 2015 by MockingJay

[theoldgit]

Baiting posts and flames removed.

[AlQaholic]

only way out is to run run run, sneak out of the country somehow.....

[cumgranosalum]

I reckon it must be strange for the child if they are with a gay couple. I would think it would really have a psychological effect on them that wwould stay with them for life

perhaps you'd care to outline those effects?

[sabaii69]

Don't be cheap and use your being gay as an excuse. She's just looking for a bigger payday. So pay her off.

If your kids were kidnapped by ISIS because you are a western non-muslim, and you didn't want to pay them, are you just "being cheap" and using your national origin as an excuse?

I am completely confused on this situation. Can't tell exactly who the players are and the gayness factor makes it more obscure. Can't these guys be happy being able to be married instead of bringing a child that is not their own into a difficult life? Not confused enough? Let's put ISIS into this mess. + =

[bamnutsak]

This is so wrong. A surrogate who is not the biological mother (smell fishy already) agrees to put someone name on a birth certificate and a man can walk away with a baby, just like that ???

What next ? A "baby" section in Ali Express ???

So the mother who is not the mother and one of the fathers is not the father.

It is disturbing that a baby is product that you tell how to mix up, select a good egg, some good sperm and what surrogate is healthy and has good blood values.

I think that kind of thing should be complete banned and the only allowed thing is when at a normal couple where she has eggs and he has sperm she has some medical conditions so she can't carry the baby. So it is really genetically theirs.

I think a law was passed here in February outlawing commercial surrogacy.

Suspect this surrogate was already "pregnant"? Assume you wouldn't advocate forcing an abortion on the surrogate? So the Kingdom will have to deal with these WIP.

[MockingJay]

Baiting posts and flames removed.

"Terrain, terrain, terrain...."

[rondii]

This is so wrong. A surrogate who is not the biological mother (smell fishy already) agrees to put someone name on a birth certificate and a man can walk away with a baby, just like that ???

What next ? A "baby" section in Ali Express ???

You are a complete fool; know your facts before posting. By definition a surrogate is not the biological mother, but rather someone carrying the child.

Surrogacy is not banned in Thailand, and the new legislation in effect 1st August does not ban it, just regulates it tightly with some very rigid conditions.

This couple used their sperm with donor eggs in an IVF cycle to make embryos, one of which was transferred to a surrogate mother.

Done in western countries eg USA, Oz, but with tight legislation and regulations, as will come in here in August.

One of this couple is the biological father, but requires mother to permit name on birth certificate. Under law the woman who gives birth is the mother, even if a surrogate.

[MockingJay]

I have no objection to life style choices. Gay, straight or whatever. I do have concern however when you deviate out of your lifestyle choice. If the gay way of life produces off spring then hey congrats. However a gay coupleseeking surrogacy is a tad bit hypocrital to me. You choose a gay lifestyle but yearn the outcome of a straight lifestyle. If you do have money and feel the need for a child, then adopt. There are so many orphans in this world.

My words in an earlier mail in this thread! Thus totally agree!