Thai "Blues"is it normal?

[rgs2001uk]

To answer the OP, yes its normal, what you talk of others refer to as culture shock, usually sets in when the initail euphoria has worn off and the reality

and some cases the finality of their lifestyle choice sets in.

Some leave for healthcare reasons, some for education opportunites, others leave for pastures new on the corporate ladder.

Some are stuck with properties they cant shift for various reasons, some are trapped by exchange rates and frozen pensions.

The one think all these miserable gits forget to mention, no one put a gun to their head and forced them to move here, and no one is putting a gun to

their head and forcing them to stay.

The one thing in their favour, they at least kept their options open and can choose to leave.

Go read some of the other forums and the tales of woe from those who went all in and are now trapped here.

[MaeJoMTB]

in between make a country what it is

For me? it is Sarakham... and no I do not live in a paddy field, I live in a modern house. However I think you are missing my point entirely and only quoting part of my post.

Thailand has many beautiful places to stay and make a life depending on your taste, however if you like the sound of living in a paddy field you would have many choices, enjoy.

If Sarakham is the real Thailand ...... why don't they speak Thai.

When I was there they all spoke Lao.

[Soutpeel]

Describing these areas as not the "real" Thailand in order to contrast them with areas where traditional Thai culture and values flourish is what I think Ryanhull was trying to do, but I don't want to put words in his mouth.

You mean the areas where along side the traditional Thai culture and values, the same people aspire to have a BMW/Mercedes Benz in the drive way, Satellite TV, I-phones, Internet wifi and a sit down dunny etc and have never been anywhere near BKK or Pattaya in their entire lives ...those traditional areas you mean ?

The fact is for the most part those area's you describe don't exist any more, its a by gone era, 20 30 maybe more years ago..

and this relates back to what i said in an earlier post, people paint an idealist vision of what Thailand is in their heads and when the reality doesn't meet that expectation/ illusion this is when people start getting "depressed"

Its like going to London and expecting to see Mary Poppins on every street corner, men in bowler hats doing silly walks, chimney sweeps, Americans with bad fake London accents, gentlemen gangsters etc

These things may have "existed" at some point in London, but not any more...

[Soutpeel]

in between make a country what it is

For me? it is Sarakham... and no I do not live in a paddy field, I live in a modern house. However I think you are missing my point entirely and only quoting part of my post.

Thailand has many beautiful places to stay and make a life depending on your taste, however if you like the sound of living in a paddy field you would have many choices, enjoy.

If Sarakham is the real Thailand ...... why don't they speak Thai.

When I was there they all spoke Lao.

Well expert opinion has it, that BKK / Pattaya and other touristy places are not the real Thailand, ergo the natives residents in such places cant be real Thai's then, now seeing as most speak Thai and we have established these people are not real Thai, then the Thai is not he native tongue, therefore the native tongue must be Lao and the real Capital of the real Thailand must be Sarakham.

So there we have it, Lao is the real Thailand....so we are back to the premise that living in the "real Thailand" is living in paddy field in Nakon Nowhere...

[rgs2001uk]

in between make a country what it is

For me? it is Sarakham... and no I do not live in a paddy field, I live in a modern house. However I think you are missing my point entirely and only quoting part of my post.

Thailand has many beautiful places to stay and make a life depending on your taste, however if you like the sound of living in a paddy field you would have many choices, enjoy.

If Sarakham is the real Thailand ...... why don't they speak Thai.

When I was there they all spoke Lao.

Well expert opinion has it, that BKK / Pattaya and other touristy places are not the real Thailand, ergo the natives residents in such places cant be real Thai's then, now seeing as most speak Thai and we have established these people are not real Thai, then the Thai is not he native tongue, therefore the native tongue must be Lao and the real Capital of the real Thailand must be Sarakham.

So there we have it, Lao is the real Thailand....so we are back to the premise that living in the "real Thailand" is living in paddy field in Nakon Nowhere...

So there we have it, Lao is the real Thailand....so we are back to the premise that living in the "real Thailand" is living in paddy field in Nakon Nowhere..

The sad reality for many thats exactly what the real Thailand is.

Lets be honest here gents, how many woke up one morning, threw a dart at a map of Nakon Nowhere and said thats where I am going to live?

Most are led there by their tee lak, back to the village to built a farang macmansion and gain some face in the village.

The only ones I have ever met who seem contented are those who live and work overseas and come here for holidays or the FIFO guys.

Have met many who have told me, what once was something to look forward to, became something to be endured, and finally avoided.

Friend told me, do you think after 18 hours travelling I want to sit on a bus for 8 hours to get to Nakon Nowhere?

Same guy told me he could be poolside in Pattaya having a cold one at the same time the bus would be pulling out of Mor Chit.

The local farang watering holes are full of the malcontents who joined the local debating society where they can bitch and moan about their mrs, her family, the heat and humidty, the exchange rate, the Brit gov't ripping them off pension wise, why no ones speaks English etc etc, quite pathetic really.

The self same Thai experts and Old China hands who cant even string a sentence together in Thai, but they can tell us all about the country, LOL, it would be laughable if it werent so true.

[Gecko123]

Describing these areas as not the "real" Thailand in order to contrast them with areas where traditional Thai culture and values flourish is what I think Ryanhull was trying to do, but I don't want to put words in his mouth.

You mean the areas where along side the traditional Thai culture and values, the same people aspire to have a BMW/Mercedes Benz in the drive way, Satellite TV, I-phones, Internet wifi and a sit down dunny etc and have never been anywhere near BKK or Pattaya in their entire lives ...those traditional areas you mean ?

The fact is for the most part those area's you describe don't exist any more, its a by gone era, 20 30 maybe more years ago..

and this relates back to what i said in an earlier post, people paint an idealist vision of what Thailand is in their heads and when the reality doesn't meet that expectation/ illusion this is when people start getting "depressed"

Its like going to London and expecting to see Mary Poppins on every street corner, men in bowler hats doing silly walks, chimney sweeps, Americans with bad fake London accents, gentlemen gangsters etc

These things may have "existed" at some point in London, but not any more...

You make a very valid point that a 'King and I' romanticized version of Thailand probably no longer exists anywhere in Thailand. I agree that the root of a lot (not all) disgruntledness amongst expats is unrealistic expectations. The more unrealistic the expectations, the more adjustments are needed. Everyone goes through an adjustment process, but if you find yourself having to make more adjustments than you are willing to make, maybe it is time to move on.

But in terms of finding Thais who are friendly, sincere, innocent, playful, humble, family orientation, warm, connected to the land and in rhythm with nature (corny, but true), etc., I think you're far more apt to find these traits and qualities out in the countryside than in most tourist-oriented places.

And for me, being around Thais who still adhere to these values is what being in Thailand is all about.

P.S.: rgs2001uk, after 12 years up country, I'm still in the 'like living here' mode, but maybe that's because I'm a slow learner.

Edited June 29, 2015 by Gecko123

[Franky Bear]

Where is "proper Thailand" then?

Central Bangkok?

Chang Mai?

A paddy field?

The "isn't real Thailand" or any country makes me cringe. Fact is the whole country is part of what makes a country. Every little town every big city and everything in between make a country what it is

For me? it is Sarakham... and no I do not live in a paddy field, I live in a modern house. However I think you are missing my point entirely and only quoting part of my post.

Thailand has many beautiful places to stay and make a life depending on your taste, however if you like the sound of living in a paddy field you would have many choices, enjoy.

I didn't miss a thing. There's no such thing as "real Thailand"

[n210mp]

You think too mut ........

Talk less and exercise more.

This morning up at 5am to cycle up the mountain to Wat Doi Suthep.

Raced against several total strangers, Thai and foreigner, no breath for talking.

You need some hobbies that get you out and about, with no need of vocal interaction.

Depression only affects people who sit around all day, every day.

Just not true MaeJoMTB !

Granted exercise helps with "depression" as in my case and many others I know but it is certainly not a "panacea" but I do agree with your sentiments,

I also get up at 5 0am and out on my Hybrid MTB

Saturday 50K

Sunday 20K including a walk sanction

Today 36K on my MTB around Mabrachan

Thanks for the many different ideas and comments.

I just need to make a point for those posters who have assumed that maybe I and the people I mention in my OP are Bar flies or indeed of that class of people who spend all their time in those places.

We are all ExPats living on the dark side with a couple in the Ban Sare area with no interest in the local or any bar scene at all, except of course for eating out occasionally at the local greasy spoon cafe or going down to the beach at Ban Sare or Ban Amphur

We have jumped through all the hoops, married Thai ladies and are "enjoying" as much as we can a normal family lifestyle that includes plenty of exercise and social interaction.

[ryanhull]

Well expert opinion has it, that BKK / Pattaya and other touristy places are not the real Thailand, ergo the natives residents in such places cant be real Thai's then, now seeing as most speak Thai and we have established these people are not real Thai, then the Thai is not he native tongue, therefore the native tongue must be Lao and the real Capital of the real Thailand must be Sarakham.

So there we have it, Lao is the real Thailand....so we are back to the premise that living in the "real Thailand" is living in paddy field in Nakon Nowhere...

I am not an expert and do not claim to be, just trying to give some of my opinions to someone to try and help and offer some ideas, I will stop doing so though however as it seems to be annoying you.

Good luck to the OP

[opalred]

have a sex change

[Soutpeel]

Describing these areas as not the "real" Thailand in order to contrast them with areas where traditional Thai culture and values flourish is what I think Ryanhull was trying to do, but I don't want to put words in his mouth.

You mean the areas where along side the traditional Thai culture and values, the same people aspire to have a BMW/Mercedes Benz in the drive way, Satellite TV, I-phones, Internet wifi and a sit down dunny etc and have never been anywhere near BKK or Pattaya in their entire lives ...those traditional areas you mean ?

The fact is for the most part those area's you describe don't exist any more, its a by gone era, 20 30 maybe more years ago..

and this relates back to what i said in an earlier post, people paint an idealist vision of what Thailand is in their heads and when the reality doesn't meet that expectation/ illusion this is when people start getting "depressed"

Its like going to London and expecting to see Mary Poppins on every street corner, men in bowler hats doing silly walks, chimney sweeps, Americans with bad fake London accents, gentlemen gangsters etc

These things may have "existed" at some point in London, but not any more...

You make a very valid point that a 'King and I' romanticized version of Thailand probably no longer exists anywhere in Thailand. I agree that the root of a lot (not all) disgruntledness amongst expats is unrealistic expectations. The more unrealistic the expectations, the more adjustments are needed. Everyone goes through an adjustment process, but if you find yourself having to make more adjustments than you are willing to make, maybe it is time to move on.

But in terms of finding Thais who are friendly, sincere, innocent, playful, humble, family orientation, warm, connected to the land and in rhythm with nature (corny, but true), etc., I think you're far more apt to find these traits and qualities out in the countryside than in most tourist-oriented places.

And for me, being around Thais who still adhere to these values is what being in Thailand is all about.

P.S.: rgs2001uk, after 12 years up country, I'm still in the 'like living here' mode, but maybe that's because I'm a slow learner.

I purposely didn't mention the movie you named as believe its still banned here, but yes this is a good example of what I mean

and you second point is fair enough, but its still a big jump to for someone to state the likes of tourist areas are not "the real Thailand", the "tourist" area or the urban centres are more representative of the real Thailand in 2015 than the places some people are talking about.

[sickwaterbuffalo2]

Well even in the rice paddys they al have their faces glued to their smart phones nowadays so.......

[Soutpeel]

Well expert opinion has it, that BKK / Pattaya and other touristy places are not the real Thailand, ergo the natives residents in such places cant be real Thai's then, now seeing as most speak Thai and we have established these people are not real Thai, then the Thai is not he native tongue, therefore the native tongue must be Lao and the real Capital of the real Thailand must be Sarakham.

So there we have it, Lao is the real Thailand....so we are back to the premise that living in the "real Thailand" is living in paddy field in Nakon Nowhere...

I am not an expert and do not claim to be, just trying to give some of my opinions to someone to try and help and offer some ideas, I will stop doing so though however as it seems to be annoying you.

Good luck to the OP

not annoying me in the least, I giving an opinion and raising points to debate in an indirect sarcastic manner that's all

[i claudius]

I DO love the people who Mock Pattaya and go on about "its not really Thailand" BARS,HOOKERS BLA bla bla. The truth is they may live in Thailand nut they are just tourists here ,they have not a clue about the real Pattaya away from walking st,beach and second road,away from there where I and thousands of other expats live is as real Thailand as anywhere and I have lived and visited many parts,as for Thailand blues ,no way I love it warts and all

Edited June 29, 2015 by i claudius

[Happy Grumpy]

Lets put a scientific and statical analysis on this question....

Statistically speaking, if one was a whining miserable kant in their own country, there is a strong statically correlation that the same person will be a miserable kant for their tenure in Thailand.

some people are just not happy unless they are miserable and whining

I see we've met.

[ryanhull]

I DO love the people who Mock Pattaya and go on about "its not really Thailand" BARS,HOOKERS BLA bla bla. The truth is they may live in Thailand nut they are just tourists here ,they have not a clue about the real Pattaya away from walking st,beach and second road,away from there where I and thousands of other expats live is as real Thailand as anywhere and I have lived and visited many parts,as for Thailand blues ,no way I love it warts and all

Fair point, next time I am in Pattaya I will try and find such places.

[ramrod45]

If it is in Thailand, it is part of Thailand. I can't believe people try to say Pattaya or Phuket are not "part" of Thailand. What are they, remote foreign regions? Seems to me you have Thai people working there, Thai people visiting, Thai people sending money back to those "other" Thai people, Thai laws. Get the gist? "Thai" Living out in a village is just as Thai as living in a city, same as any country. The unfortunate thing is that many people here think their lifestyle is better than most. I rarely hear of a farang living in a village unless he is married. Personally I don't want to be married, and have lived in the city, which obviously is not a "Thai" place because people don't splash around in rice fields, eat lizards, and wear funny hats. Sure, you can have a nice house there, but it doesn't mean where you live is any more "Thai" than not. The traditional "Thai" ways is what, years ago, made this country so appealing, and now is the foundation for future ruin. With an inadequate academic system, a rousting political situation, and China with money, means, and seduction, wait ten years and this will be Thaina. But back to the point, if you like living in the country and feel that is "Thai", or you like living in the city and think it's "Thai" you both are correct, so why argue about it? Just because a Thai person lives in Bangkok doesn't mean they don't hold traditional values, and many in the villages wish they had the wealth of those in the city. Thailand is just a country...it's not great, it's not bad, it's just kind of a medium place with a low cost of living and the ability for a man to find a wife that he apparently couldn't do in his own country.

[opalred]

to live in pattaya getting the blues would be calling it mild madness

have a look at how many frangs do the big jump to other places in asia

[swissie]

This may help. I am still in weekly contact (skype) with a really decent Brit originating from Birmingham. Living in Jomtien for years. His view on the matter.

- " If I could spend my retirement years in Birmingham, I would be living a modest live. While living in Thailand I can live "a good live".

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Given that, the average Farang can live with an occasional Thailand-Blues. I am sure.

Cheers.

[EmptyHead]

It fascinates me how these people who've had enough of the place continue to come back here and tell us why they left.

Yeah, they miss it really, that's why they still hang out on our forum.

And to the people who say things like, "Pattaya isn't the real Thailand etc etc." I'm sorry, but it is. It is all part and parcel of the real Thailand. Thais scam each other nationwide. They scam farang nationwide. There are hookers nationwide. There are drugs nationwide. And there is McDonalds and KFC nationwide

There are also really nice people all over the country. There are wonderful things and awful things...everywhere....IT IS ALL THE REAL THAILAND. K? k.

Anyway, to answer the OP's question: yes it is normal, it's called culture shock. See below.

[huawei]

This may help. I am still in weekly contact (skype) with a really decent Brit originating from Birmingham. Living in Jomtien for years. His view on the matter.

- " If I could spend my retirement years in Birmingham, I would be living a modest live. While living in Thailand I can live "a good live".

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Given that, the average Farang can live with an occasional Thailand-Blues. I am sure.

Cheers.

And therein lies the secret. But if your " good life" doesn't come up to expectations that is the problem for many.

Most guys who live in nakon nowhere didn't even know it existed before they met the "one" , so it's hard to justify a happy existence based on somewhere you didn't know for 60 years of your life. They came here with other ideals and ended up with something completely different..where did the " good life"..go..

Those in pattaya knew exactly what they wanted and found it, they in my opinion have better lives accordingly..

[EmptyHead]

This may help. I am still in weekly contact (skype) with a really decent Brit originating from Birmingham. Living in Jomtien for years. His view on the matter.

- " If I could spend my retirement years in Birmingham, I would be living a modest live. While living in Thailand I can live "a good live".

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Given that, the average Farang can live with an occasional Thailand-Blues. I am sure.

Cheers.

And therein lies the secret. But if your " good life" doesn't come up to expectations that is the problem for many.

Most guys who live in nakon nowhere didn't even know it existed before they met the "one" , so it's hard to justify a happy existence based on somewhere you didn't know for 60 years of your life. They came here with other ideals and ended up with something completely different..where did the " good life"..go..

Those in pattaya knew exactly what they wanted and found it, they in my opinion have better lives accordingly..

There is no logic in your argument whatsoever.

If it wasn't nearing my bedtime, I would tell you, in detail, all that is wrong with what you just said. There are probably about 3 fallacies.

Take a look here https://yourlogicalfallacyis.com/ to see where your argument falls apart.

[thaibeachlovers]

Moving Country would be my option....

or maybe just getting away from Pattaya and the other tourist traps would work.

If you can't be happy in Pattaya where there is everything to do I doubt you'll be happy anywhere in Thailand. Moving to the village was a huge mistake on my part.

Now the only thing I can do to alleviate the "Thai blues" is coming to rant on TV and hope to see a pretty Thai girl.

BTW I thought this was a music thread .

[MaeJoMTB]

And therein lies the secret. But if your " good life" doesn't come up to expectations that is the problem for many.

Most guys who live in nakon nowhere didn't even know it existed before they met the "one" , so it's hard to justify a happy existence based on somewhere you didn't know for 60 years of your life. They came here with other ideals and ended up with something completely different..where did the " good life"..go..

Those in pattaya knew exactly what they wanted and found it, they in my opinion have better lives accordingly..

He's right!

But not only Pattaya, any of the big cities would probably be OK.

Nakon Nowhere ........ been there twice .... been bored off my head ....... never again.

[Lex Talionis]

to live in pattaya getting the blues would be calling it mild madness

have a look at how many frangs do the big jump to other places in asia

Or that other big jump off the balcony rail.

[lostoday]

Guys don't commit suicide because of Pattaya. They commit suicide because they have to leave Pattaya and go back to places like London or Oregon.

[Crazy chef 1]

Moving Country would be my option....

or maybe just getting away from Pattaya and the other tourist traps would work.

If you can't be happy in Pattaya where there is everything to do I doubt you'll be happy anywhere in Thailand. Moving to the village was a huge mistake on my part.

Now the only thing I can do to alleviate the "Thai blues" is coming to rant on TV and hope to see a pretty Thai girl.

BTW I thought this was a music thread .

Sorry mate to disappoint you...but there aren't so many pretty Thai girls on TV...

I assume you mean the forum and not the electronic device....

[Crazy chef 1]

And therein lies the secret. But if your " good life" doesn't come up to expectations that is the problem for many.

Most guys who live in nakon nowhere didn't even know it existed before they met the "one" , so it's hard to justify a happy existence based on somewhere you didn't know for 60 years of your life. They came here with other ideals and ended up with something completely different..where did the " good life"..go..

Those in pattaya knew exactly what they wanted and found it, they in my opinion have better lives accordingly..

He's right!

But not only Pattaya, any of the big cities would probably be OK.

Nakon Nowhere ........ been there twice .... been bored off my head ....... never again.

When I went to the wife's village I've seen a steady increase in my beer consumption...

[BudRight]

Thailand seems to be a fine place for those with no future anywhere, either because they are old and close to death or because they have truly no ambition at all. You will leave nothing behind except a grinning corpse. At least in the West you can forge a life and a future out of hard work and skill. Thailand is just a drain pipe of hopelessness - those who learn to cope do it by giving up completely on life. It's no way to live, certainly not when you have many years in front of you.

Leaving was the best decision I ever made.

Edited July 1, 2015 by BudRight

[Soutpeel]

Thailand seems to be a fine place for those with no future anywhere, either because they are old and close to death or because they have truly no ambition at all. You will leave nothing behind except a grinning corpse. At least in the West you can forge a life and a future out of hard work and skill. Thailand is just a drain pipe of hopelessness - those who learn to cope do it by giving up completely on life. It's no way to live, certainly not when you have many years in front of you.

Leaving was the best decision I ever made.

Coming to Thailand was one of the better decision's I ever made, as they gave me a 30% uplift on my farangistan salary

Seems to me your bitterness stems from the fact you were a failure in Thailand, as one can forge a life and future here is you work hard...

but just because you failed, don't paint everyone with the same brush, I know many farangs here who have really "succeeded" in Thailand and done far better than they would have in their farangstan countries