Jump to content

Stupid Rumour Of The Day


singa-traz

Recommended Posts

In a statement from Parliment, the following edict has been Issued:

In an unprecedented move the new Government has been moved to the Farang Connection at Surin. This was after a spy sent out to the four corners of the Kingdom, reported that he heard more bull-sh1t coming from six locals than the whole of the Thai-rak party put together. Using these six to do the job of 400( work permits permitting) would cut down on bills. This would leave more money to repair the Bridge on the River Kwai, which apparently has been broken for a few years.

To the right honourable Lampy

I humbly request that with immediate effect I be appointed Official Parlimentary Undersecretary for returning the empties.

Solely on the grounds that I have consumed more than my fair share over the years and am also not adverse to accepting the odd bung!!

Yours humbly

TBWG :o

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Replies 118
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

LONDON - Thaksin Attempts to Take up Residence in the UK

Thailand's ousted Prime Minister, Thaksin Shinawatra, has fled a coup d'etat in his homeland and attempted to take up residence in the UK. As he is not in possession of a formal visa, he has been informed by the UK Immigration Department that he can stay in the UK for 30 days before having to do a visa run to France or Ireland. He is allowed to repeat this process no more than twice in any given 180 day cycle.

Eye-witnesses have reported spotting him in a strip-club in Soho, trying to arrange a quick marriage to a young peasant girl from Lincolnshire.

:o that is so funny,i've got water running down my face here

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Newsflash!!!

Following his visit to the USA Ex minister Thaksin was struck by the sincerity of Bill Gates and Warren Buffet and consequently has decided to follow their example and donate the vast majority of his wealth to worthy causes.

First recipient ....The Imelda Marcos shoe foundation.

Other applications in the first instance to Thai Visa

TBWG :o

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Nooooo.....my beloved Liverpool. The whole thing was a dastardly plan for Thaksin to gain control:

Liverpool's directors will meet on Thursday to debate potential takeover bids, according to a report in the Daily Post.

Steve Morgan, who has been linked with a takeover of the club before, has been reported as one of the bidders.

The club has previously been linked with major investment or a takeover, with Thai Prime Minister Thaksin Shinawatra and American Robert Kraft among the names suggested.

The Daily Post claims Reds directors have been summoned to Anfield to discuss three major proposals.

If shareholders - including majority controller David Moores - agree to sell or reduce their stakes in the club, a takeover plan could be put in motion. Liverpool are currently valued at over £200million.

The Reds have another key date on Friday when they must deliver funding details on the new £180million stadium at Stanley Park.

http://www.sportinglife.com/story_get.cgi?...l_Takeover.html

It all makes sense now. :o

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Newsflash!!!!

While searching Thaksin's residence, investigators found a secret door that led to an indoor swimming pool.

After searching for the key (that was found in a flower pot), investigators were able to unlock the door.

Investigators were surprised that the pool was not filled with water, but with 1000 Bath notes.

Investigators also seized pictures of Dagobert Duck.

Source: Haarlems dagblad

Edited by AlexLah
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Chang Beer Shock

It was reported earlier today that Chang Beer is a safe and effective laxative, its effects mimicking expensive 'over-the-counter' constipation remedies.

Dr. Bhumiholepoo from a leading Pattaya hospital said: "Chang beer is so effective at removing stubborn and compacted faeces, I even write prescriptions for the stuff".

Link to comment
Share on other sites

In a statement from Parliment, the following edict has been Issued:

In an unprecedented move the new Government has been moved to the Farang Connection at Surin. This was after a spy sent out to the four corners of the Kingdom, reported that he heard more bull-sh1t coming from six locals than the whole of the Thai-rak party put together. Using these six to do the job of 400( work permits permitting) would cut down on bills. This would leave more money to repair the Bridge on the River Kwai, which apparently has been broken for a few years.

To the right honourable Lampy

I humbly request that with immediate effect I be appointed Official Parlimentary Undersecretary for returning the empties.

Solely on the grounds that I have consumed more than my fair share over the years and am also not adverse to accepting the odd bung!!

Yours humbly

TBWG :o

Can't promise too much old mate, my locals are having fisticuffs on who gets the Education( senior girls school) job. We also had 2,578 applications for the Minister of Finance (new farang advice) post.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Many PMs of the Bent.. persuasion.. are heading to the AUSSIE Land.. a Former PENAL colonie...

THEY WANT an E X T E N D E D Visa

well that aint going to happen mate, as the place is full of bleeding criminals already so there ain't no more room for toxin and his cronies.

besides that, he would not like barbies, footy, dogs eye's with dead horse and top aussie shielas. :D

so get that crap thought out of your nogging please. :D

anyway,

coo wee cobber :o

Link to comment
Share on other sites

hello punters,

look here will you, as ive got the best rumour that you people will ever hear, so pay attention will you. :D

jdinasia, siratchajohn and pepe are in posession of a top sense of humour and give us top fellows on tv a good bleeding belly laugh and help inprove our day. :D

cheers mates :o

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Welcome back, Tells - - - :D

hello henry, :D

look mate,

ive had a brilliant little 3 day holiday, im feeling totally recharged ready to help all my friends here on tv with any problems they might encounter whether it be small or frigging gigantic. :D

henry, i'll tell you how freaking good and powerful im feeling so just listen up for a nano second will you. :D

you know that thread about farting, and i told all the punters that i dropped one that powererful it fuelled the space shuttle all the way to mars. ? :D

well cricky's mate,

i feeling that powerful now that if i farted again the space shuttle would surely be lost and nasa would be after my arse. :D

any way henry,

your a top bleeding fella for keeping that horse away from the knackery.

respect to you. :D

cheers my top mate :o

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I admit a certain Mr Mexxx played a major role in this rumour but it's just been announced by a group of prominent retired visa geologists led by a certain Mr Bennix( could he be related to the aforementioned Mr Mexxx?), that the tsunami was caused by a group of desperate visa on arrival farangs anxious to destroy their documents and reinvent themselves as bona fide citizens.

Geologists said that they had found remnants of a suicide submarine bomb on the sea bed off Indonesia.

The contents of the bomb have not been disclosed but it was believed to involve several tons of buffalo excrement, which when combined with fermented fish produces a combustion of terrifying ferocity.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Nooooo.....my beloved Liverpool. The whole thing was a dastardly plan for Thaksin to gain control:

Liverpool's directors will meet on Thursday to debate potential takeover bids, according to a report in the Daily Post.

Steve Morgan, who has been linked with a takeover of the club before, has been reported as one of the bidders.

The club has previously been linked with major investment or a takeover, with Thai Prime Minister Thaksin Shinawatra and American Robert Kraft among the names suggested.

The Daily Post claims Reds directors have been summoned to Anfield to discuss three major proposals.

If shareholders - including majority controller David Moores - agree to sell or reduce their stakes in the club, a takeover plan could be put in motion. Liverpool are currently valued at over £200million.

The Reds have another key date on Friday when they must deliver funding details on the new £180million stadium at Stanley Park.

http://www.sportinglife.com/story_get.cgi?...l_Takeover.html

It all makes sense now. :o

I heard a rumour that Liverpool were going to be serious title contenders this season ............ :D

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Actually,

A guy I met in Nana whose sister works in a bookie in Blackpool and had a punter who's brother works as shelf packer in Tesco Cumbria confirmed that the next space shuttle launch will be a faesability study in how to transport Eastern European pre-prepared salads at below minimum wage to the outer edges of the known galaxy.

It's got to be true - a guy in the pub told me.

Cheers,

Couthy. :o

I heard a rumour that Liverpool were going to be serious title contenders this season ............ :D

I nominate that as " Stupid Rumour of the Week"

It just beats the one about Tesco/Lotus opening a branch on Venus.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I heard a rumour that Liverpool were going to be serious title contenders this season ............ :D

I nominate that as " Stupid Rumour of the Week"

It just beats the one about Tesco/Lotus opening a branch on Venus.

60 yard goals. Best manager in the World. Best player in the World. The season starts here. :D

Anyway, I heard the Spurs were going to make the Champion's league.............. :o

Link to comment
Share on other sites

In a statement from Parliment, the following edict has been Issued:

In an unprecedented move the new Government has been moved to the Farang Connection at Surin. This was after a spy sent out to the four corners of the Kingdom, reported that he heard more bull-sh1t coming from six locals than the whole of the Thai-rak party put together. Using these six to do the job of 400( work permits permitting) would cut down on bills. This would leave more money to repair the Bridge on the River Kwai, which apparently has been broken for a few years.

To the right honourable Lampy

I humbly request that with immediate effect I be appointed Official Parlimentary Undersecretary for returning the empties.

Solely on the grounds that I have consumed more than my fair share over the years and am also not adverse to accepting the odd bung!!

Yours humbly

TBWG :D

Can't promise too much old mate, my locals are having fisticuffs on who gets the Education( senior girls school) job. We also had 2,578 applications for the Minister of Finance (new farang advice) post.

Re education job.

I would like to offer my services as coach (unpaid) to the Senior girls netball team. :o

Yours TBWG :D

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.











×
×
  • Create New...