I have a question about Thai people and eye contact

[Magicporkchop777]

I recently went on a date with a Thai girl in the states and I noticed that she had a difficult time holding eye contact. She would always look down at her food when she talked etc. At first I thought she just didn't like me but then I thought that there might be a cultural difference in regard to eye contact. Can anyone enlighten me here? Thank you so much.

[cornishcarlos]

You just aren't as Hansum as you thought

[mogandave]

Maintaining eye contact is difficult for many people, particularly when nervous.

[Brit_Doggie]

1 good trait of thai people is eye contact unless nervous or shy and both those a minority here.

[cooked]

My wife says that maintaining eye contact with a girl for more than a quick glance is definitely flirting on both sides.

[tonray]

Perhaps she found the food more interesting ?

[Shot]

Where did you take her to eat?

[chiang mai]

When you walk down the street you will be noticed/looked at long before you get close to a person, occasionally you may see people twenty feet ahead of you looking at you and then averting their eyes when spotted - as you get closer and level to them they will continuously look away. The "why" is because to stare is impolite and may lead to aggression. So in the case of your new date a similar set of rules apply, in your example the answer's similar in that to stare shows interest, yet for the young lady to do so at such an early stage in the relationship would be highly inappropriate. An extension of all of this is the use of a chaperone during early dating, if you've never been on a date where a chaperone is involved I recommend it as an interesting experience.

[Magicporkchop777]

Judging by these replies the more likely answer was that we just didn't click. Oh well, thats life.

[steven100]

she doesn't like spaghetti meatballs ....

[willyumiii]

I have been told:

" In Thailand if you have extended eye contact with another man, you will probably get into a fight. with him

If you have extended eye contact with a woman, you will probably get into bed with her."

Edited July 21, 2015 by willyumiii

[kiwi151]

Perhaps consider ...

1.Humility.

2.Respect.

[Loptr]

Traditional rural Thai women can be very shy... Not unusual for them to not hold eye contact because of this... Not so much with women from the big cities...

[willyumiii]

Perhaps consider ...

1.Humility.

2.Respect.

Most Thais are very xenophobic and consider themselves to be better than anyone who is not Thai.

Most also have no concept of what are considered good manners in the west.

I am not bashing, it is just their culture and took me a few years of living here to realize it and adjust to it.

Because of these factors, Humility and respect are rare to find in Thai people associating with non Thais.

[slipperylobster]

she was ashamed.. Perhaps felt others were judging her (she can overhear the gossip, while you cannot).

Some girls are comfortable with their "farangs" ..others are just trying it all out.

age difference?

Never met any Thai's who look down at their feet when they talk to each other....or even to me! Sounds like a prehistoric view of Thai culture. Welcome to the modern world.

Edited July 21, 2015 by slipperylobster

[delgarcon]

Depends on the woman. I've been living with a lovely Thai woman for 3 years + and she has always looked me straight in the eye.

[slipperylobster]

I have been told:

" In Thailand if you have extended eye contact with another man, you will probably get into a fight. with him

If you have extended eye contact with a woman, you will probably get into bed with her." images.jpg

.....for the right amount of money !

[willyumiii]

I have been told:

" In Thailand if you have extended eye contact with another man, you will probably get into a fight. with him

If you have extended eye contact with a woman, you will probably get into bed with her." images.jpg

.....for the right amount of money !

I can honestly state that never in my life have I ever paid to get into a fight, not even a good one!

[georgemandm]

I think the same as the op and I think it is because if they lie you will tell or could be not told from young kids to look in the eyes when I am talking to like I teach my kids

[Thongkorn]

Depends on the woman. I've been living with a lovely Thai woman for 3 years + and she has always looked me straight in the eye.

Usually the sign of an Honest sincere person , If they cannot lok you in the eye then some things wrong.

[balo]

Thais love to have eye contact when talking to someone so she's probably one of the shy ones. Or maybe she just dont like to look at you.

[slipperylobster]

I have been told:

" In Thailand if you have extended eye contact with another man, you will probably get into a fight. with him

If you have extended eye contact with a woman, you will probably get into bed with her." images.jpg

.....for the right amount of money !

I can honestly state that never in my life have I ever paid to get into a fight, not even a good one!

You are lucky! I paid quite a bit to watch the last Pacquiou fight.

[VIPinthailand]

too late, Thai ladies in the USA are already infected! they became like them...

[AZBill]

She's probably just shy. If you like her give her a chance to get to know you. After a while she'll be looking you straight in the eye to make sure you aren't playing around on her! Lol

[willyumiii]

Depends on the woman. I've been living with a lovely Thai woman for 3 years + and she has always looked me straight in the eye.

Usually the sign of an Honest sincere person , If they cannot lok you in the eye then some things wrong.

You are correct Thongkorn, if you are living in the west.

I was raised in the west and that is what I always believed.

here in Thailand, it is considered to be rude and presumptuous to look someone in the eye if you are not very familiar with the person, like a wife or very close friend.

Men feel you are threatening hem and women feel you are" coming on" to them if you make extended eye contact.

I for one, do not expect or want Thai people to adopt my western values, so I have tried to learn and respect theirs.

[willyumiii]

too late, Thai ladies in the USA are already infected! they became like them...

Before I moved to Thailand full time, I found that Thai girls who relocated to America still pretty much followed their traditional values,

but the second generation in America were as American as an American could be

...just cuter!

[Slip]

Perhaps the only post so far in this thread that shows an understanding of the local culture and psyche. It is not 'greng jai' to be overly 'agressive' with eye contact.

Depends on the woman. I've been living with a lovely Thai woman for 3 years + and she has always looked me straight in the eye.

Usually the sign of an Honest sincere person , If they cannot lok you in the eye then some things wrong.

You are correct Thongkorn, if you are living in the west.

I was raised in the west and that is what I always believed.

here in Thailand, it is considered to be rude and presumptuous to look someone in the eye if you are not very familiar with the person, like a wife or very close friend.

Men feel you are threatening hem and women feel you are" coming on" to them if you make extended eye contact.

I for one, do not expect or want Thai people to adopt my western values, so I have tried to learn and respect theirs.

[rgs2001uk]

Jeez H, what a load of cobblers.

Where is the OP?

Send the girl a text message or phone her and say,

Thanks for the other night, really enjoyed myself, where do you suggest next time?

Whats so bloody hard about that?

[dao16]

Actually, I think it can mean she really liked you, which is why she was looking away (most likely down). Like someone said just up this thread, call her back and ask her out again if you like her. You might be surprised.