Adultery

[petertucker48]

Away for 13 MONTHS not hours/days/weeks ,MONTHS !!!!!!!.

Cannot believe he is looking for sympathy his wife should be looking for a divorce on grounds of desertion.

One big problem is,in this case,she may be thinking he being a man who are notorious for playing around,has another women in the UK and is just stringing her (the Thai women) along.

I as the Thai women would apply for a divorce and claim 50% of every thing just like Farang women do.

[benalibina]

Away for 13 MONTHS not hours/days/weeks ,MONTHS !!!!!!!.

Cannot believe he is looking for sympathy his wife should be looking for a divorce on grounds of desertion.

One big problem is,in this case,she may be thinking he being a man who are notorious for playing around,has another women in the UK and is just stringing her (the Thai women) along.

I as the Thai women would apply for a divorce and claim 50% of every thing just like Farang women do.

With your mindset.....you will adapt easily in ...LAS (thanks Connda !)

[NeverSure]

Away for 13 MONTHS not hours/days/weeks ,MONTHS !!!!!!!.

Cannot believe he is looking for sympathy his wife should be looking for a divorce on grounds of desertion.

One big problem is,in this case,she may be thinking he being a man who are notorious for playing around,has another women in the UK and is just stringing her (the Thai women) along.

I as the Thai women would apply for a divorce and claim 50% of every thing just like Farang women do.

I am never responsible for the decisions or actions of another person. I can make choices only for me. The woman is a tramp who has someone else's baby.

You are one crass and crude dude.

End of.

[Friendly Stranger]

Feel for you man.

As many have said, just forget about the possessions and close out this marriage. just be lucky the new guy is not raising your flesh and blood.

Start with the proceedings and move on..

[Friendly Stranger]

Away for 13 MONTHS not hours/days/weeks ,MONTHS !!!!!!!.

Cannot believe he is looking for sympathy his wife should be looking for a divorce on grounds of desertion.

One big problem is,in this case,she may be thinking he being a man who are notorious for playing around,has another women in the UK and is just stringing her (the Thai women) along.

I as the Thai women would apply for a divorce and claim 50% of every thing just like Farang women do.

I love it. She cheats on him with evidence and you spin it around with the poor Thai woman BS. Do you know them??

You sound like you've had experience in this?

Too bad, so sad Mr. Tucker..

[Linzz]

In my opinion, any one who can leave their wife alone for more than 3 months is not entitled to expect anything more then you got. Marriage is designed for 2 people to care and love each other, and not make unreasonable demands on the partner. To my way of thinking 13 months is outrageously over the top and you are totally responsable for the breakup.

I don't quite understand this point. Blokes in the armed services are often away on deployment for 12 moths or more. Merchant seaman are away for months at a time. Thai couples are often split for one or two years while one works overseas. It is not an unusual situation

Yes Steve it is not an unusual situation. Blokes on deployment often visit brothels, isn't that how the bar scene started in Thailand? Merchant seamen often have a girl in every port as the saying goes. I live in NZ, EVERY Thai man that I know on extended work here (usually without visa's) have live in giks (other Thai women) that their wives don't know about. One I know had difficulty explaining to his suspicious wife on his return to Thailand. People both women and men get lonely and need partners. Some do remain faithful because they remain in love and committed but I would say that would be very few. Everyone is different and you take your chances..You are lucky or not.

It is what it is and I will not judge fault. Having said that if I were the OP then I would separate because trust has been broken, but if while away he has done the same, then it's obviously a lost relationship anyway. Unsalvageable unless both partners were forgiving which while not unheard of, again would be highly unusual to have that kind of 'happy ending' in Thailand

[rjcampbe]

Come on guys. The man poured his heart and soul and money into it. Walk away? Let a scumbag take his dog, bike, woman etc. no way me thinks. Here's what u do. 1. Go to Thailand without telling anyone. 2. Steal your belongings and sell them. 3. Dogs optional. 4. With the money you recovered go screw your brains out. 5. Take photos along the way. 7. As you're sitting in the departure lounge take a selfie. 8 send all the photos to her with a loooooool.

Nothing is sweeter than revenge if you've been ripped off. You'll laugh about for years to come rather than feel crap every time u think about it.

This is a great post, but absolutely terrible advice...

We all want justice / revenge when we are wronged... but in this case the best advice is just walk away with as little contact, interaction, effort, and drama as possible.

If not a registered marriage, delete and block her on everything and move on.

If registered, see a lawyer, file for divorce, and move on.

Sorry for your loss with regard to the dogs, but remember you can always find another b*tch.

[spidermike007]

Why not tell her you won the UK lottery big time. Ask her to meet you in Bangkok to share the joy. Then rent a truck and move your stuff out of her place when she is at the appointed place and time. Then see a lawyer and file for divorce. Oh, one last piece of advice. Enjoy your single life and don't be in a big hurry to rush back into a relationship with one woman. Once burned shame on you, twice burned shame on me.

Wow. That is a creative approach. Do you write screenplays? If not, you should try your hand at it. I myself have used rather creative, underhanded approaches like this to solve problems before, and they have ALWAYS worked out just fine. You might want to take chill42's advice on this one. Good one. Keep them coming.

[Mark T]

Come on guys. The man poured his heart and soul and money into it. Walk away? Let a scumbag take his dog, bike, woman etc. no way me thinks. Here's what u do. 1. Go to Thailand without telling anyone. 2. Steal your belongings and sell them. 3. Dogs optional. 4. With the money you recovered go screw your brains out. 5. Take photos along the way. 7. As you're sitting in the departure lounge take a selfie. 8 send all the photos to her with a loooooool.

Nothing is sweeter than revenge if you've been ripped off. You'll laugh about for years to come rather than feel crap every time u think about it.

don't dig a bigger hole for yourself just because you feel the anger. once you get em MIB involved, now you can consider yourself officially in the midst against a triad mob!

the sound advice given was to get a divorce (as this is in your favor with her cheating) and walk away. Since you are not 100% innocent as you have claimed, and she is in anguish, it is better to just leave it at that where everybody is agreeable and there is some shred of sanity/dignity. Revenge won't change the past!

That said, good luck to ya, mate!

[EmptyHead]

The mental age of a teenager + hot weather + hot pants + mai pen rai + selfishness + no shame + little education (underdeveloped neural pathways ) = adultery

Aren't Thai men number 1 in the world and Thai women number 2 for admitting adultery?

[petermik]

Tommy,

Your missus has had what is known as a "grudge baby" i.e. someones had it in for you while your away

You,re not the first and won,t be the last guy that this has happened to-..............move on and you,ll be fine

[HerbalEd]

Cut your losses, mate, and forget about a fridge and motorbike. If you legally registered your marriage, then get a lawyer and sue for divorce .... and never look back.

BTW, have you been celebrate during your long separation from your wife?

[brewsterbudgen]

Cut your losses, mate, and forget about a fridge and motorbike. If you legally registered your marriage, then get a lawyer and sue for divorce .... and never look back.

BTW, have you been celebrate during your long separation from your wife?

Is celebrating grounds for divorce? ☺

[sir charles IV]

Ok. Here's what I did to my ex wife who cheated on me with a friend while still on temporary married visa. Their plan was for me to pay for everything she gets the permanent visa and they live happily after.

1) I notified immigration

2) immigration asked for evidence from her to retain her visa ( lie about abuse etc)

3) I sent immigration evidence SMS email docs proving their scam

He got a lawyer and 10k later they failed

He had to buy her return ticket, visa

After a year delay he paid for second visa and ticket

4) I went to Thailand and handed copies of SMS emails to her family

5) I sent the same to his workplace colleagues here showing he was sniffing around his friend's wife and being twice her age made him embarrassed

Now I'm happily married to my second wife for two years.

Everyone I think about the scamming duo and the amount of money, embarrassment it cost them makes me laugh. Ps she said she wanted her jewelry and clothes back. I said no problem. The 10000 I got for selling the gold chain she left in my house paid for a weekend getaway with my new wife in Thailand and the clothes she sold to her friends for 5000tbh.

See? If you plan it properly you can have your revenge. The amount of money I saved for dumping her is great as she spent spent. Now the old dude is going broke trying to keep her happy. Little bit of fun at my expense has cost him dearly. lol

[mercman24]

pay no attention to the clown saying "steal your stuff back" he has no idea as to the workings of this country,this is Thailand, might work in the USA or UK wherever he comes from,but it will end badly for you if you try this, ever heard of mobile phones,, friends, do not try this, it is a stupid suggestion.

[tassieman]

Ok. Here's what I did to my ex wife who cheated on me with a friend while still on temporary married visa. Their plan was for me to pay for everything she gets the permanent visa and they live happily after.

1) I notified immigration

2) immigration asked for evidence from her to retain her visa ( lie about abuse etc)

3) I sent immigration evidence SMS email docs proving their scam

He got a lawyer and 10k later they failed

He had to buy her return ticket, visa

After a year delay he paid for second visa and ticket

4) I went to Thailand and handed copies of SMS emails to her family

5) I sent the same to his workplace colleagues here showing he was sniffing around his friend's wife and being twice her age made him embarrassed

Now I'm happily married to my second wife for two years.

Everyone I think about the scamming duo and the amount of money, embarrassment it cost them makes me laugh. Ps she said she wanted her jewelry and clothes back. I said no problem. The 10000 I got for selling the gold chain she left in my house paid for a weekend getaway with my new wife in Thailand and the clothes she sold to her friends for 5000tbh.

See? If you plan it properly you can have your revenge. The amount of money I saved for dumping her is great as she spent spent. Now the old dude is going broke trying to keep her happy. Little bit of fun at my expense has cost him dearly. lol

In agreement with Sir Charles, IMO, a little "sensible" payback Tommy at some stage might reduce some of your angst...but, also, strongly agree with the anti-'steal your stuff back' responses and the 'go and have it out' advice....things can only go from bad to MUCH worse and who wins...they will ultimately. It's a REALLY tough wall to come up against, but as a friend who has lived in the LoS for 12 years said to me recently..."we" just cannot get "our" minds around the worldview/value system of Asians (let alone Thais) and I increasingly think he is right. It's a completely DIFFERENT ballgame. I have had two marriages (one with a Chinese space monster!), too many other skirmishes to mention with Western space monsters, 4 things with Asian women here in Oz, LDRs with 2 Filipinos and an Indonesian gal, BUT NOTHING even comes close to the mindf*** I have experienced in the last 6 months with my Thai GF. I also have 3 degrees, so you'd think I was pretty "smart". NOT. [hahaha...forget to mention a 'bad' 2 years with an African queen!]

Now back to the issue of "payback" lol. Tommy, try and suck it up....amber fluid recommended (!)...punch a few holes in walls...get yourself some new pooches...STAY AWAY FROM THAILAND....go and get some counselling even, if the cut is that bad. I am. As a number of posters have indicated, relatively, your material losses are not that bad and so it's that horrible grinding feeling of having been done over. It's a mind blower alright .

My little nod in the direction of getting some sense of "take this" is to make sure there is now at least some trace of my babe online via a fairly innocuous blog posting by me that has contact facilities, so -- at the very least -- when some other poor dumb schmuck is lured into my ex-babe's spider's web and who might have the sense of mind to do a google, then he will at least have some point of reference to get some idea of what he might be in for.

When I was drowning in confusion, the only online tid bit I could find was my ex's pic on some dude's google plus/hangout page...but it was something lol to make me want to start digging just a little deeper. Anyway, GOOD LUCK. Take it easy.

[sir charles IV]

I agree with most comments. I guess it ultimately depends on individual cases. In my situation I did a thorough risk analysis to ensure no harm comes to me. I only have two degrees (feel so inadequate compared to the guy with three!) yet noway in hell I would have allowed two opportunistic uneducated scum to harm me emotionally and financially. All u did was give karma a helping hand. I've heard he's hardly got any dark hairs and she's quite active on online dating website. Looooool.

[connda]

In my opinion, any one who can leave their wife alone for more than 3 months is not entitled to expect anything more then you got. Marriage is designed for 2 people to care and love each other, and not make unreasonable demands on the partner. To my way of thinking 13 months is outrageously over the top and you are totally responsable for the breakup.

Obviously, you have never served in the military and been deployed overseas...

It is not unreasonable to ask a "loving" wife to wait for the husband to return from a job away from home...

Gotta agree with ggt: You don't have a military background. Having been deployed on 6 month long Westpac tours, I've seen some of the most Victorian, bible-verse spewing, squeaky-clean guys end up with one or two 'girl-friends' once our ship hit Subic Bay. And we generally deployed there for repetitively long periods of time. Then by the time we return to Hawaii, these guys (and gals) where back to expressing undying love toward their significant others.

However, on the flip side of that show were the Westpac Widows. It's funny how after two or three months without her guy (or gal), many of these straight-laced, Bible Study attending, paragons of chastity and modesty we're scoring with single guys after a night of dancing and partying. But same, same, within a couple of weeks of the 'significant other' making it to Hawaii and about to return home, the extra-martial relations go cool, may actually remain friendships, but when man and wife reunite, possibly both after having affairs, it just shows something about human nature. People get lonely, and after a period of time, horny too. Welcome to the human species. Adultery in deployments is like a good wine: moderation goes a long way. A little can be fun and healthy; too much ends up becoming a royal head-ache.

Me? I was single, and preferred it that way. Once in Subic or Pattaya, I could indulge to my dream's delight. Which is why retirement finds me living here in Thailand. And married at that. No more deployments. <grin>

[Thongkorn]

Just forget it-walk away-aint worth bothering coming over here except for a holiday-no contact with any of them

You took the words out of My mouth , No Nothing said is worth a thousand words materials can be replaced, Dont forget if she has a Thai man in toe you will not be safe and never win . As for her family you were only a cash cow anyway.

[hanuman2543]

Do nothing mate.

After 2 years away she can file for divorce on grounds of desertion.

Forget the personal belongings........let her do the running around and tracking you down for a divorce.

She aint worth any more of your time and money.

Let her lie in the bed she's chosen, she'll regret it later.

She has to wait 3 years. For the OP the situation is not too bad. If she really gave birth to a child from somebody else he can easy sue for divorce and even asks for compensation. As long as there is no other proof he will be regarded as the legal father of the child. That gives him another reason to apply pressure to get what he wants.

[hanuman2543]

pay no attention to the clown saying "steal your stuff back" he has no idea as to the workings of this country,this is Thailand, might work in the USA or UK wherever he comes from,but it will end badly for you if you try this, ever heard of mobile phones,, friends, do not try this, it is a stupid suggestion.

It is not. Look at Sec 72 Thai Penal Code. You can't steal from your married partner.

[mercman24]

PENAL CODE RUBBISH if you think thais think twice about any stupid laws your are sadly mistaken, oh yeah he is going to show up in a truck to take his, as you say "legal" belongings, it just aint gonna happen. , when thaais rape and murder and get 4 months in jail, dont think so,

[hanuman2543]

PENAL CODE RUBBISH if you think thais think twice about any stupid laws your are sadly mistaken, oh yeah he is going to show up in a truck to take his, as you say "legal" belongings, it just aint gonna happen. , when thaais rape and murder and get 4 months in jail, dont think so,

You have no clue and try to deflect from this by being rude. Get back to your barstool and have another drink.

[jacksam]

Sad story. Get strong. You know what you have to do. You have an absolute solid case for your divorce . Dont spend a fortune on a lawyer. Adultery is grounds for a divorce and you could supply more than enough proof. Your wife should realize this. So get a couple good friends and got to the Amphur and sign the paper. It takes less than an hour. wait outside. Dont talk to your wife. Walk in and Get It Done.

I know so many guys that this has happened to here. Many are Still with there cheating wives and raising there Not Kid.

There lives and relaitionships suck and they drink heavily.

Get rid of the cheating filth and start fresh.

Good luck.

I don't need to read past first 2 replies....the above quote

"Get rid of the filth...." Are you brain dead. The OP stated had not had physical contact for 13 months....geezuz

OP stop moaning about a motor bike and "your assets"

Move on. Why did you come on thaivisa? Grow up.

Fancy leaving someone here for 13 months.

Crazy....you think a marriage certificate has any meaning.

Next visit to click with a Thai ..come with assets already acquired and live here. Take care of her and you just might have a chance. However moaning about a bike etc ..I think not

[tommybhill]

Sad story. Get strong. You know what you have to do. You have an absolute solid case for your divorce . Dont spend a fortune on a lawyer. Adultery is grounds for a divorce and you could supply more than enough proof. Your wife should realize this. So get a couple good friends and got to the Amphur and sign the paper. It takes less than an hour. wait outside. Dont talk to your wife. Walk in and Get It Done.

I know so many guys that this has happened to here. Many are Still with there cheating wives and raising there Not Kid.

There lives and relaitionships suck and they drink heavily.

Get rid of the cheating filth and start fresh.

Good luck.

I don't need to read past first 2 replies....the above quote

"Get rid of the filth...." Are you brain dead. The OP stated had not had physical contact for 13 months....geezuz

OP stop moaning about a motor bike and "your assets"

Move on. Why did you come on thaivisa? Grow up.

Fancy leaving someone here for 13 months.

Crazy....you think a marriage certificate has any meaning.

Next visit to click with a Thai ..come with assets already acquired and live here. Take care of her and you just might have a chance. However moaning about a bike etc ..I think not

Wind your neck in mong.. She got impregnated 3 months after i'd returned to work. then went off the grid after 6. you are a lizard pal

[gk10002000]

I have spoken to her today on Skype.

Just to clarify she has her own career and I never sent her money from overseas. We agreed on that towards the beginning of the relationship.

She seems to be in a world of pain right now and seems genuinely sorry. She's claiming it was a big mistake. I do almost feel sorry for her, almost.

Don't worry gents i'm not that stupid.

Thanks for the sound advice from the vast majority of you, I know what I have to do

Cheers

She probably is in emotional pain, and I would suspect some financial pain is on the horizon. I would agree she did make a big mistake. Raising a child properly is not cheap in any country. Once bitten twice shy? Up to you if you want to get more involved with her. The percentages are probably not promising.

[mercman24]

HANUMAN where was i being rude please Explain, DO YOU LIVE HERE,? WELL I DO, !!OH DEAR, THE OLD BARSTOOL CLICHE AGAIN , sorry to disappoint i dont drink, just read the papers everyday that will give you a tiny clue about thai justice.and if you do live here well you know it is not going to happen , come on, wise up,as said before thais do not give a toss about the law,still dont know about the "rude" bit though, i will not reply as this is not about us this is about the op seeking advice,and to the op best of luck as many said on here just walk away, while you can still walk ok. why not volunteer to drive the truck, my best wishes, we will be reading about it in the news