Thai ladies mentality changed alot, and more materialistic ? I feel disappointed

[kannot]

Ive found some Thai women VERY arrogant , like they really are something special, the last one was renting a room from a friend of my Wife 's and hadnt paid the rent for 2 months, I was asked to evict her, I met her i n the lift and said she hadnt paid her rent, she looked down on me and grunted as if to say , who the <deleted> are you telling me.

10 minutes later I was telling her she had 5 minutes to get her stuff out or I would be chucking them out the window, the "hi so" then became the " its not fair" sob story, i didnt give a sh*t and out she went, stuck up little cow

probably not a hi-so girl though....

she was a bar girl who thought she was a hi so, she had a real bad attitude, the owner was a Thai woman in her late 30's had bought the room with no idea on how to actually rent it out or write up a contract to do so, her first room apparently.

[MAJIC]

So the OP finds that Thai women are not as desperate as they used to be. That's called "progress."

Or greed,depends on what side you are batting for?

[DisparateDan]

I have been here yonks and seen little change in attitudes.

What Jack Reynolds wrote in "Woman of Bangkok" 1968 ( a book that the Asian Wall Street Journal called "one of the 10 finest novels ever written about Asia." (I'm sure they meant "one of the 10 finest novels ever written in English about Asia."), I believe remains the norm. Tragicomic is a good description that applies to many relationships up to today.

I gave my copy away !!!

[Jessi]

No its not just you. I have noticed a big change in the Thai people over the past 25 years, all for the worse.

Yes the woman (Not all) are getting hungry for money its all about the money.

Thai people have always been very arrogant with a false smile.

[gk10002000]

In general I agree. I also think it is natural and to be expected. The days of the Thais living a rural, somewhat isolated life style is definitely the minority now. So many have internet, Iphones, etc. Word and information gets around quickly. My first trip was in 2004 and I absolutely was enamored with the place and the people. I have been over a dozen times. I still love it. But many Thais are being pressured to go modern and the costs to simply live and eat are relatively much more than they used to be.

[ronthai]

You are 10 years older AND Thailand (= Girls, Bars, Prostitute scene, ect. in this context thread) has changed much the past 10 years.

Thailand (see above meaning) got access to Internet and later Mobile Phones with internet.

Go to any public location and all are on phones and tablets, instead of looking for handsome man.

[gemguy]

Hmmmm....my only comment to your post is:

Why did it take you 10 years to figure out what I figured out in less than 1 year and amongst the main reasons I never married a Thai women or even bothered to TRY to have any serious relationships with Thai women.

Just not worth the headaches and the continual, never ending DRAMA that comes with everyone of them in some way or another and commonly more so with most of them

Live and learn....live and learn.

Cheers

[geriatrickid]

Ive found some Thai women VERY arrogant , like they really are something special, the last one was renting a room from a friend of my Wife 's and hadnt paid the rent for 2 months, I was asked to evict her, I met her i n the lift and said she hadnt paid her rent, she looked down on me and grunted as if to say , who the <deleted> are you telling me.

10 minutes later I was telling her she had 5 minutes to get her stuff out or I would be chucking them out the window, the "hi so" then became the " its not fair" sob story, i didnt give a sh*t and out she went, stuck up little cow

Is it that easy to evict people here? No legal process to go through?

1 Yes.

2.No.

There is a legal process to follow when evicting in Thailand. Leases are governed by the same laws that govern other contracts. If a tenant has not respected a lease, and the landlord wishes to respond with an eviction, formal notice must be given. Eviction is the same as breaking a contract and landlord must provide proper notice as per the lease agreement. If the tenant agrees to vacate, then no further action is needed. However, if a tenant refuses to leave, then the landlord must obtain a judgement in favour of breaking the contract or face being countersued for breaking the contract. The police can be used to enforce an eviction order. Obviously, there is common sense, and one doesn't waste time when there are small amounts involved. One just tosses the delinquent tenant. However, when the rents are higher the leases are more professionally drafted and have protections built in.

As for a despondent Lothario, if he hasn't improved himself over the past decade with education, or work position, or social graces, or developed Sexpat's belly along with tobacco stained teeth and fingers, he should not be surprised. Thai women of value will no longer settle for western dregs. It's been that way for 10+ years. 20 somethings are ok for penis playtime, and nothing more.

[godden]

How can you trust any one who can bleed for a week and not die.

[faraday]

You have aged by 10 years & you are beginning to see people more clearly. If you're going to discos or whatever, the ladies are still the same age, & you're seeing how immature they are.

In short, you're growing up -& I'm not being rude to you.

But also,the whole world is changing very rapidly, & money has become the new god. It's called "Consumerism" - amongst other things.

It takes time, but there are good, honest people around;it does however take time to find them.

[gemguy]

Ive found some Thai women VERY arrogant , like they really are something special, the last one was renting a room from a friend of my Wife 's and hadnt paid the rent for 2 months, I was asked to evict her, I met her i n the lift and said she hadnt paid her rent, she looked down on me and grunted as if to say , who the <deleted> are you telling me.

10 minutes later I was telling her she had 5 minutes to get her stuff out or I would be chucking them out the window, the "hi so" then became the " its not fair" sob story, i didnt give a sh*t and out she went, stuck up little cow

Yes indeed....many are and come with an attitude while it is so very easy for all too many Thai women to develop a sense of superiority while they enjoy playing the part of looking and acting like a wannabe hi so.....which is easy to do because so many Thai people ( other women mainly ) are impressed by what they see and show them respect and admiration because they look so good playing the part.

If you look the part then you have to act the part and that includes developing a snooty attitude and indifference to people they see as beneath them while commonly they are big time sycophants that deliberately choose who they associate with while they disregard others who are not important to their agenda.

Thailand being a hierarchical and status based society makes it all the easier to play the part and get away with it while most of the Thais play into the part and in effect sustain the woman's sense of being above most others.

Then along comes you....while you are then also subjected to their attitude while they think.....you are just a foreigner and to easily be brushed aside and ignored.

Fortunately those types of women are not so abundant...but there are all to many of them....especially when they get money flowing their way while often enough it is not a lot of money ....but they spend it on themselves and create a self absorbed image and attitude

So yeah...all too many of them are narcissistic...big time.....without a doubt.

Cheers

Edited September 30, 2015 by gemguy

[GAZZPA]

Ive found some Thai women VERY arrogant , like they really are something special, the last one was renting a room from a friend of my Wife 's and hadnt paid the rent for 2 months, I was asked to evict her, I met her i n the lift and said she hadnt paid her rent, she looked down on me and grunted as if to say , who the <deleted> are you telling me.

10 minutes later I was telling her she had 5 minutes to get her stuff out or I would be chucking them out the window, the "hi so" then became the " its not fair" sob story, i didnt give a sh*t and out she went, stuck up little cow

Is it that easy to evict people here? No legal process to go through?

Yep. I have 3 tenants and all 3 have a signed contract that they have 15 days to pay up after written warning from me about late rent or out they go.

I have not had to send any warnings yet, so I am lucky but it is early days with my new tenants. If they dont pay on time I will send the warning within a week or so. They will then be out if they are a month late. If you leave it to 2 months you keep the deposit but then you get lumbered with the bills, best to just get rid of them.

Of course if someone had a very good reason and committed to catching up in a short time frame I would reconsider but I do as the Thais do, best way.

[Friendly Stranger]

The novelty has worn off, but it's more so personal devices. It's not just them either, it's society in general now. No one gives a rats ass to look up and make eye contact anymore.

[TheKnave]

Farangs no longer acquire an instant status boost upon arrival. Too many for the illusion to survive. Now, you have to have (and flaunt) cash to achieve that extra status, which makes Thai girls a lot friendlier.

Girls on the game, especially, but Thais in general seem to be getting weary of the once-novel farang...

Remember, Thai Rak Thai.

[maidee]

did you come to thailand to find a submissive woman / wife ?

maybe that was the case 20-30 years ago ...

now they know what they want & like .... money, money, money ....

don't be surprised you get a girlfriend, that also have a thai boyfriend / husband, you might become one of her sponsors all year long and be around you when you come here for your "fulliday"

[GAZZPA]

I dont have enough experience in Thailand to comment on changes, however my past 4 or 5 years I have formed an opinion that has not changed much.

Firstly you have to consider Asia and the growth experienced in these countries including Thailand. If you look at Thailand GDP has doubled in just 10 years. So that means that anyone under 30 has never seen anything but growth and more growth in their economy. With money comes credit and Thai women have and no problem spending money on credit cards and loans and in a growth economy that tends to happen everywhere.

So, you have a whole generation of people who are acquiring more and more stuff,, iPhones, laptops, cars, condos etc,,, All this new money (false though a lot of it is) has created a "snobbish" attitude from wannabe's. All part of HI So society in Thailand, people now "think" they are special but they dont really know how to behave.

In my view there are no bigger snobs then wannabes who have acquired a little wealth and think they have lifted their status. So, I think thats what you are experiencing, its what I believe i see anyway.

Of course it all comes crashing down around them when the economy falls as they are not really wealthy, they are merely enjoying the benefits of a vibrant economy for a while.

I personally ignore them.

[tonray]

The OP needs to escape the falang enclave and head to the suburbs.

Try spending some time in Thonburi or Bangna....the ladies in the early to mid 30's range look fabulous and are as sweet as can be. Regular girls...don't hang out in bars, work middle class jobs (10-12 hours a day) and are in general...the ones to look for, Forget Hi-So girls or girls that hang out in the disco.....that is not where you will find the good ones.

[curlylekan]

I agree with some posters, but not in every way. Granted I don't know you or your circumstances but the following is what I've learned in my life:

1) We do change what we look for in our 20s, rather than our 30s; especially when we're from western countries. In our 30s we tend to want something more laid back and our values change - family, commitment, etc.

2) This is why my favorite spots are in the countryside, or at least the suburbs and away from other foreigners. More than any other place in Thailand, I love Ubon. Sure it doesn't have the amenities, the massage parlors, the enormous choice in women, the varied types of food, etc. but what is does have more so than cities like BKK to me is culture, customs, and people who tend to be more interested in a relationship with you rather than what you have or what they have. Personally, I think after all my years, education, travel, etc., this is what is easily lost in modernization unless we work harder to preserve it. Ubon seems to be going that way to me too, but I personally like some of that in my life.

3) I think other posters are right in saying that we need to wisely pick the places we go to pick up women. Same here in US. I no longer go to the bars or nightclubs for lasting relationships.

In addition, this is why Bhutan has looked at GNH. Their view of happiness tries to continue to encompass old traditions and a person's way of life so that society can progress in a way different than what we are used to.

OP, great topic to bring up. I think a lot can be said and a lot applied to other so-called, developing countries throughout the world.

Edited September 30, 2015 by curlylekan

[Mot Dang]

I can't even think what will happened after 10-20 years on this way ...

I could almost write a book answering your question. I have lived in Thailand for going on 35 years. I have seen massive changes to Thai culture, and face it that is what we are talking about here. I don't want to sound like a Thai basher, because I am not. I have too much at stake. I first visited Thailand in 1980 (aged 30) and fell in love with Thailand and the Thai people. I found in the 80's Thais were very laid back, nothing worried them, they had a " it will be right mate" attitude. Then in 1984 they started the first Amazing Thailand Campaign. For me that was year zero. Thai families were very closely knit. Centuries old Thai traditions were paramount. Children were very polite, and assisted the family with chores after school such as attending vegetable gardens etc. They respected the elderly. Most Thais were poor, there was only a fraction of the middle class there is today.

The tourist industry and international trade expanded rapidly, the middle class (the "Chulalongkorn Cult") grew rapidly. Thais now had the taste for money and with that corruption was adopted as the norm. Successive governments obsessed with personal advantage took over, the people (in the Issan and southern provinces) were forgotten.

Now newer generations believe only money can bring happiness. And money buys drugs. Children no longer attend to set chores, vegetables are delivered on the back of trucks. Where water was humped from the dam, it is now pumped.

I first visited Soi Cowboy in the 80's. It was fun, the girls were cheeky, but mainly honest. Hundreds of my generation met girls, married, and left for a better life. The marriages lasted (those that I know). Not now, and your description is fair.

I met a lovely girl from Issan in 1982, we married, and are still happily married.

All I can say is don't give up. Take your time. Be street smart, and very importantly learn and respect Thai ways and culture.

In fact the are two very good books called, Thai Ways and More Thai Ways, that give you clues to the Thai psych.

As a PS, your lucky, you found Thailand early in your life. In the 80's there were extremely few 20 yo guys getting around, why ?, at that age we had no money.

Edited September 30, 2015 by Mot Dang

[1FinickyOne]

If A lady says "up to you" in reference to receiving money - she is hoping you will be generous.

Maybe you interpreted that as "free" - and maybe you and enough others have taken advantage of that cultural/vocabulary misunderstanding that many of the girls are tired of leaving it up to your generosity or lack thereof and have become a bit tougher/harder toward prospective customers/suitors, whichever you may be..

[kennypowers]

Although it seems that the OP is just worrying about getting a free ride, i think his perception is right.

Not only Thailand, but the whole world is changing faster and faster, and not only because we are getting older.

People are more self-centered, i mostly blame the abuse of technology, and the bad quality of the food.

I see it the other way. Thailand, like America and Europe, increasingly promotes a system of profit before people. This encourages selfishness and greed. The belief that we have a divine right to resources, land and power, and a right to displace and kill others to obtain personal wealth has left in its wake a trail of ravaged landscapes and incalculable human suffering. The belief that human societies should be ruled by the demands of the marketplace is complete rubbish. There is nothing in human history or its nature to suggest that sacrificing everything for the support of a supposed "free market" will lead to any social good.

If anything, those who control us under utilise technology so that we continue to suffer in an antiquated wage-based (a modern day version of slavery) economy that robs us of our time with our families and prevents us interfering in affairs that properly concern us (politics). For example, we have had the technology to build apartment/condo blocks using machinery for years now, rather than 300 men and women having to spend 3 years sleeping on site and getting paid slave wages to build it by hand. A condo block could be put up in less than a week - consider how cars are assembled in factories; they can use a very similar process to build homes and condos. The floors simply slot together. Another example, the hydrogen car that runs without the need for oil, which is the main cause of war in the middle east and the ruin of the planet - the very thing that supports our existence. This car was conceptualized in the 1800s, and an efficient working hydrogen car was produced with a view to mass production by GM Motors in 1966. It was blocked by the elite oil tycoons.

Check out Jacques Fresco and the Venus Project to see the true capability of technology and how it is purposely oppressed by world's elite, because they know if will truly change the world into a fairer, more compassionate, cleaner, happier place to live for everyone. https://www.thevenusproject.com/en/

[connda]

Just look at the amount of 'unsecured debt' (credit cards) and household debt (CC plus mortgages, car payments, etc) that the average person or family holds in most developed and developing countries around the world. It's huge! Thailand is no different. Everybody want to live the good life right right now; everybody wants more 'stuff' and the newest gadgets right now! Thailand's official 'household debt to GDP' is 80%, a figure that has approximately doubled since 2008. And that figure doesn't include the poorest segment of Thai society who are in hock up to their ears to mafia loan sharks.

So to be honest, it's not just 'Thai ladies'. It goes much deeper than that. What's driving rampant materialism? Definitely a tectonic shift in cultural attitudes. Why? Good question.

[Om85]

Thai women are obsessed with their bodies now.

they don't like their noses. and because many are having nose jobs to get a farang nose, they all want a nose job.

same with skin color. white. not brown.

eyebrows have to be tattoos now. same with eyelashes.

fashion industry. advertising. poor upbringing. low self esteem.

and once they make it to the west and live there for a while, they become unhappy for the same reasons as farang woman.

and they are "tripping on themselves" as they have discovered their power over men. just not a mystery anymore. the internet has change everything.

thai women share their experiences they have with farang men on a wholesale level to other thai ladies on the internet now.

standard of living going up. beautiful Thai women see Asian women in films and television playing strong characters in the west. they know the score.

thai music videos are all about not letting your thai boyfriend walk all over you.

and yes, everybody is completely "check out" because they can't look away from their phone even for a second.

I think that the Thais ladies that you are talking to are the hooker from Nana or Soi Cowboy, because I work among young Thai people and the only two things that I can agree with you is regarding the nosejobs and skin.

[connda]

Smart phones and internet have turned them into self absorbed <deleted>...like most people outside thailand too.

They dont need to be friendly to you because they have all their friends in their pocket....plus internet has made them lazy....just open a badoo a count and reel the suckers in.

You got a point, especially Smart Phone zombies.

Lol I don't own one; I don't want one. But then again, I'm well over the hill, and although I was an IT professional up until retirement, I decided quite a while back that my advancement with technology ends with my laptop running a version of Linux with a UI (I can choose my own) that doesn't change every time the OS is upgraded (think Microsoft).

[connda]

I can't even think what will happened after 10-20 years on this way ...

I could almost write a book answering your question. I have lived in Thailand for going on 35 years. I have seen massive changes to Thai culture, and face it that is what we are talking about here. I don't want to sound like a Thai basher, because I am not. I have too much at stake. I first visited Thailand in 1980 (aged 30) and fell in love with Thailand and the Thai people. I found in the 80's Thais were very laid back, nothing worried them, they had a " it will be right mate" attitude. Then in 1984 they started the first Amazing Thailand Campaign. For me that was year zero. Thai families were very closely knit. Centuries old Thai traditions were paramount. Children were very polite, and assisted the family with chores after school such as attending vegetable gardens etc. They respected the elderly. Most Thais were poor, there was only a fraction of the middle class there is today.

The tourist industry and international trade expanded rapidly, the middle class (the "Chulalongkorn Cult") grew rapidly. Thais now had the taste for money and with that corruption was adopted as the norm. Successive governments obsessed with personal advantage took over, the people (in the Issan and southern provinces) were forgotten.

Now newer generations believe only money can bring happiness. And money buys drugs. Children no longer attend to set chores, vegetables are delivered on the back of trucks. Where water was humped from the dam, it is now pumped.

I first visited Soi Cowboy in the 80's. It was fun, the girls were cheeky, but mainly honest. Hundreds of my generation met girls, married, and left for a better life. The marriages lasted (those that I know). Not now, and your description is fair.

I met a lovely girl from Issan in 1982, we married, and are still happily married.

All I can say is don't give up. Take your time. Be street smart, and very importantly learn and respect Thai ways and culture.

In fact the are two very good books called, Thai Ways and More Thai Ways, that give you clues to the Thai psych.

As a PS, your lucky, you found Thailand early in your life. In the 80's there were extremely few 20 yo guys getting around, why ?, at that age we had no money.

The first shoe dropped in 1997; 2008 was a reminder; the other shoe is due to drop, much likely sooner than later. 10 or 20 years? Optimistic I"m thinking.

[happy Joe]

Previously Thais thought that all farangs were courteous, honest, nice and clean.

But now they know us ...

[kerrysum]

And what is your problem? Get over it!

[Om85]

I have been here yonks and seen little change in attitudes.

What Jack Reynolds wrote in "Woman of Bangkok" 1968 ( a book that the Asian Wall Street Journal called "one of the 10 finest novels ever written about Asia." (I'm sure they meant "one of the 10 finest novels ever written in English about Asia."), I believe remains the norm. Tragicomic is a good description that applies to many relationships up to today.

I gave my copy away !!!

I read the book like two weeks ago and if that is "one of the 10 finest novels ever written about Asia" I don't want to see one of the worse, it really sucked.

[Nemesis7]

If you are willing to pay for plenty of Ladydrinks at the bar, the girls are as friendly as 20 years ago. By not doing so, you will be qualified as "just a beer customer". Therefore, you are of no further interest to them.

But over the years, a learning process has taken place among Thai-Ladies and male Farangs equally: "We don't tick the same way. and we never will.". As a result of this "Enlightenment", fewer Farangs are inviting Thai-Ladies to their home-country with longer term plans in mind and fewer Farangs are willing to settle somewhere in "Nakhon Nowhere", taking along not much more than their underwear and their ATM card.

The ladies at the bar can isolate a "beer-customer" from a customer with future "Potential" in less than 2 minutes.

It was somewhat different 20 years ago. OP arrived too late.

Cheers.

Well said really

[tajtom]

This is how it is

Online is same as street its changed they all use it to get men for money and if your lucky maybe a good bang. The uglier and dumber you are the better for them. They are rubbish and will pump the dog if it paid more. ITS ALL about BAHT.

They do not care about you your a number in a circus tent and the tent fairly full of stiffs. If your a world champion athlete they would not even know who you were hence myself.

You will nopt EVER find a good woman in a disco what you think silly.... They are there to entertain you and let you spray up her free. She knows your probably a sex tourist so why should she &lt;deleted&gt; you free.

You can only meet a real woman outside of the circus tent and online they are a ll whores to some degree.. &lt;deleted&gt; are they onlne think about it LOL