Marriage and Courtship in Isan

[fang37]

It is a sad life indeed.

BTW, I am not normally one to criticize spelling. Invariably, there are a few options.

"ISAAN" - not "Isan" please.

[williamgeorgeallen]

sounds about right. author is talking about thais in rural Thailand. interesting read for me even though I have been here almost 10 years.

if this was an article about thai prostitutes then it would go something more like this. generally the girls are single mothers with no income or support, having few options she will go to sell her wares in a tourist trap. she will try to get as many sponsors as possible and milk them for as much and as many sinsots as possible. this is just a job for her and foreign men seem very gullible and ready to pay big amounts despite none being required for a banged out bar girl single mother. I often feel embarrassed to be a foreigner in Thailand with all of my fellow ferangs being so easily ripped off. no wonder many thais think we are stupid.

[1FinickyOne]

It seems a little bit dated -

Yes, there is a traditional Thailand in many families and rural areas and some of these types of customs are still upheld, but it is also an age of internet and information and in my village the best and largest homes are built with foreign participation.

Bride prices can be set by available funds when there is a love match among young people and a reasonable price will be reached to keep the couple together… some of the mentioned customs will be met, some not, but I would not say the article is current, more a national geographic style generalization from anywhere from 30-50 years ago or beyond with some of the customs having lingered on...

[Stevemercer]

I agree that rural Isaan is very conservative. Most girls will marry their first boyfriend. Many will be divorced by their late twenties because their husband is abusive or is too blatant with his girlfriends (causing his wife to loose face because everyone knows). There are also plenty who will not have a boyfriend. Rural Isaan is very different to Pattaya or Phuket. You will never see a girl in a short dress or showing any cleavage. If they do, everyone will assume they are prostitutes.

The women here can be very naive and inexperienced (in terms of love and sex). This, is the eyes of some, makes them easy prey. Many have never really kissed before or even received a gift. It is very easy for the unscrupulous westerner to take advantage of them. Fortunately, despite the impression you can get on TV, most westerners who choose to live in Isaan are decent blokes and, despite the occasional mistake, add to the colour of the place. On the other hand, an honest bloke can get into a lot of trouble very quickly. As they often say, every Isaan family or village needs a ferang to add to the mix.

[NickJ]

What Kenny writes is often the case. But you also have to come to terms with the familes that push there daughters out the door into the bars. In order to keep up with the mad chariot race and win the House. Truck and early retirement for everyone via Mr Farang.

I got tired of having traditional Issan folks try and turn me into a matchmaker....Some of these matchs they wanted made were for girls as young as 15 and as old as 50.

[fang37]

I am extremely astute re $$$. When my Thai Lovely & I decided to spend our lives together, there was no bride-price sought or expected.

A small donation to a family abode was considered OK - a mere B6-7m.

I'm no dill!

[Jip99]

These traditions are still very much alive and very much the reason why many girls end up in the bars of Pattaya, because the poorer families still follow traditions such as if a girl is seen alone with a boy in a house, or caught getting Teenage Kicks, so to speak , then they should be engaged and married to save face.

By 19 years old the girl ends up separated with 1 or 2 kids to support. Tradition dictates that it falls upon her to take care of her aging parents, so she leaves the kids with grandma and goes off to find work. Most settle in factory jobs on the outskirts of Bangkok, where accommodation is provided and a meagre wage that essentially enslaves them for the next 20 years and robs them of seeing their kids grow up.

Others might be offered the other option by a “friend” or “cousin”; an inroad to meet rich old foreigners in Pattaya or on one of the islands. Of course, this leads to prostitution.

And what of the father of her kids? Well he shirks his responsibilities and mates with another young girl, and so the cycle continues.

The girl is unable to return home until she has a respectable amount of money to give her family, and enough assets to show the neighbours that she “made it” in the big city.

The reality is, these Isaan women who work as prostitutes and continually degraded and berated by western men, come from very sexually conservative backgrounds where a prostitute would be viewed on the same level as a dog, probably lower than that. But being poor and uneducated, probably also having come from a dysfunctional family where at least one member of the family is a gambler, abuser or alcoholic, or all of these, and being a single mother, life often offers little other choice but to sell one’s soul and go against everything your culture bought you up to respect.

These antiquated conservative traditions are alive and well, and very much part of the problem holding back poorer communities. In many cases they ruin lives.

In terms of Sin Sod, 40-50k would be for a very poor family. A Sin Sod for a comfortable family with a daughter who’d been university educated would be around the 1MB range. And for a rich family a lot more.

A good review, except I would disagree about the prostitution bit.

Some parents will put pressure, direct or otherwise, on their daughters to go to Pattaya or Bangkok. Of course, they all work as cleaners or chefs as far as village conversation is concerned.

A couple of points to add (and we are talking about the poor end of Isaan/Thai life where the sinsot could be as low 10,000 Baht - this is not about hiso light-skinned Thais) - the OP almost suggests that the virgin bride meets the 'match' of her life, a happy wedding party takes place and six-figure dowry's are handed over. Of course that happens but, in the majority of cases the 16 year old bride has not been a virgin for 4 years and has possibly been penetrated more times than a second-hand dart board. The cultural shyness described above is rapidly changing to a social media driven confidence and promiscuity. The number of unplanned teenage pregnancies continues to rise and little education exists at home or school regarding family planning. So, as mentioned previously, there are many hastily arranged marriages that last a very short time and the girl is left to seek her income in Bangkok and beyond. Many do work in the factories but many more find their way into the sex industry. This is not just about Farangs, Thai ladies have been servicing the needs of Thai men for centuries. Farang customers are simply an extension of the market place.

Despite the burning desire of Farangs to 'save the girl' from the bar, many choose a permanency of that life. Many will be fishing for Farangs and many just want to earn as much as they can to buy mobile phones/gold/tattoos/clothes - oh yes, and send 2,000 Baht a month to Mama/Sister who is taking care of the child/children. Either way, using their bodies to generate that revenue does not seem to carry the emotional baggage that it carries in west. In the west such a girl would be a whore, in Thailand the girl 'works bar' or 'works karaoke'. Managing to separate a sexual act with a sweaty Thai truck driver, or a pot-bellied, aging Farang, is a skill that is prominent in Asia.

[Jip99]

What Kenny writes is often the case. But you also have to come to terms with the familes that push there daughters out the door into the bars. In order to keep up with the mad chariot race and win the House. Truck and early retirement for everyone via Mr Farang.

I got tired of having traditional Issan folks try and turn me into a matchmaker....Some of these matchs they wanted made were for girls as young as 15 and as old as 50.

The Thais (probably because the majority are Buddhist) wish for a better life - in this life or the next. Often attempted by tambooning - the more you tamboon the better your life/lives will be..

There is nothing wrong in striving for a better life, if this is worked for by the efforts of the individual who is ambitious and industrious. Most are not and will seek the easiest route to that better life. That can often be attempted by looking for a Farang as the perception is that nearly all are rich and they all want to build you a house and fund your lifestyle. The Farangs add to that 'myth' by their desire to help improve the lot of the Thai girl. Once smitten by the honey pot, it sometimes looks like a race to see how quickly the Farand can spend his lifetime savings on his new young teerak. We have all seen a large number of truly disaster stories - and some call the Isaan girls naive!!

For the sake of balance I must also say that I have witnessed many, many relationships where the Thai lady has significantly improved her life by being with a Farang. He is extremely happy to be taken care of generally and sexually - something that most likely not happening in his home country.

[Sutty]

Give me an hour in Issan, and I promise you I will have a place to hide my sausage. You're getting played!

I can think of a place I would stuff it with an attitude like that no wonder Thais think all feranges are the same Edited October 3, 2015 by Sutty

[NoshowJones]

Look the fact of the matter is some of these things do hold true up country for Thais and falangs. As usual in Thailand it is all about face. It's not about getting scammed or any of that other shit that people who spend most of their time around hooker's harp on about. I did the traditional Thai wedding and don't believe in sin sot at all but for her and the family to gain face I threw a million baht and 5 baht gold on the table at the ceremony. Afterwards her family gave me back everything. They didn't keep one cracker nor did they ask for one. If you think face and tradition are ridiculous then don't marry a Thai. If you have no interest in helping support your wife and her family don't marry a Thai. Just do me a favour and drop off the boring rhetoric about how Thai women are all greedy lazy thieves who only want you for your money. Says a lot more about you than the women of Thailand also says a lot about the sort of Thai women you associate with. It's apples and oranges you can't compare average Thai women to the hooker's you knock around with in bars.

"If you have no interest in helping support your wife and her family don't marry a Thai", That depends on who you marry, a lot of the rich expats took on wifes and families, looked after them financially because that is the only way they would get a young beautiful Thai wife. I knew that before I bought my wifes (then gf) house, I was not going to support her or her family financially, and she knew it too, she is highly educated and been in the same job for years, I would never have taken up with any Thai girl who could not support herself or her family financially.

That is not to say she has not benefited financially since we took up together (been with each other for 10 years and married for 5) ie, she does not pay mortgage on her house, there have also been other financial benefits for her.

Her parents or family have never asked for any financial benefits from me, she has her money and I have mine.

I do agree though with everything you say except that one thing.

Edited October 3, 2015 by possum1931

[fang37]

To the best of my knowledge, you can't take your $$$ with you when you die.

My opinion - enhancing the quality of life for my teeruk &your family has been my best investment EVER.

[mankondang]

<deleted>?

:blink::lol:

I'm speechless at the ops naivety

Your not speechless at the ops naivety. Your speechless because your vocabulary limits you to using modicons only.

[NoshowJones]

To the best of my knowledge, you can't take your $$$ with you when you die.

My opinion - enhancing the quality of life for my teeruk &your family has been my best investment EVER.

I agree with you, "enhancing the quality of life for my teeruk &your family has been my best investment EVER"

Yes, and I note your word "enhancing", the same applies to me.

But taking on a wife who needs you to finance her and her family is an entirely different thing, because if it wasn't

for that, you would not be there.

Edited October 3, 2015 by possum1931

[DILLIGAD]

If Rural Isaan is so conservative, why has every village an abundance of "Kareoke" type bars and (short time) motels ???

That is nothing to do with Farang involvement/degradation either.

Edited October 3, 2015 by DILLIGAD

[rgs2001uk]

Look the fact of the matter is some of these things do hold true up country for Thais and falangs. As usual in Thailand it is all about face. It's not about getting scammed or any of that other shit that people who spend most of their time around hooker's harp on about. I did the traditional Thai wedding and don't believe in sin sot at all but for her and the family to gain face I threw a million baht and 5 baht gold on the table at the ceremony. Afterwards her family gave me back everything. They didn't keep one cracker nor did they ask for one. If you think face and tradition are ridiculous then don't marry a Thai. If you have no interest in helping support your wife and her family don't marry a Thai. Just do me a favour and drop off the boring rhetoric about how Thai women are all greedy lazy thieves who only want you for your money. Says a lot more about you than the women of Thailand also says a lot about the sort of Thai women you associate with. It's apples and oranges you can't compare average Thai women to the hooker's you knock around with in bars.

"If you have no interest in helping support your wife and her family don't marry a Thai", That depends on who you marry, a lot of the rich expats took on wifes and families, looked after them financially because that is the only way they would get a young beautiful Thai wife. I knew that before I bought my wifes (then gf) house, I was not going to support her or her family financially, and she knew it too, she is highly educated and been in the same job for years, I would never have taken up with any Thai girl who could not support herself or her family financially.

That is not to say she has not benefited financially since we took up together (been with each other for 10 years and married for 5) ie, she does not pay mortgage on her house, there have also been other financial benefits for her.

Her parents or family have never asked for any financial benefits from me, she has her money and I have mine.

I do agree though with everything you say except that one thing.

Its called, the selection process, due diligence, sorting out the wheat from the chaff.

[peteregion]

How accurate is this?

Depends which bar you are in, and how new off the banana boat you are.

Why do you say that, I think for rural areas a lot of that holds true.

Not only in Isaan but also true in rural areas in other parts of Thailand. I have been here for more than 30 years and this is Quite True in the North, South and even Central plains outside Bangkok. But this is changing. As more Thais get educated and with the advent of the internet and other social media, youths these days does not want to follow traditions.

[BuriRamHome]

I have lived in Isaan for 15 years, 12 in Roi-Et and 4 in Buri Ram.

With my first wife I paid the sin-sot, about 50K, traditional village ceremony and party etc. and certainly spent thousands of $ afterwards on house tractor and land etc.

Divorced and for my second wife we did not have village ceremony but went to Amphur in Bangkok, registered our marriage and changed her name in passport and ID Card.

Things are changing in Isaan and it is no onger the backward looking area but much more modern..

[Colabamumbai]

Today an Isaan girl living in Isaan with no English ability expects 10-15,000 Baht a month to live with a foreigner. The ones who can speak English tend to work in the tourist spots where then can earn more money.

,

Duty is to give mother money monthly, the source of the money is not important.

[Mudcrab]

I am extremely astute re $$$. When my Thai Lovely & I decided to spend our lives together, there was no bride-price sought or expected.

A small donation to a family abode was considered OK - a mere B6-7m.

I'm no dill!

Astute with the dollars..........but don't know how much money was donated...was it 6 miilion or 7million.

Hmmmmm...ex SAS as well by any chance?

[Stevemercer]

If Rural Isaan is so conservative, why has every village an abundance of "Kareoke" type bars and (short time) motels ???

That is nothing to do with Farang involvement/degradation either.

Good point. These hourly 'resorts' are everywhere. Unlike the west, a man or woman can't take a partner back to their home for sex unless they are publicly a couple. Rural Isaan is outwardly conservative, but there are an awful lot of secrets. Call it 'Thainess'.

[tajtom]

Dowry is a Thai story and civilized thais not ask

But yes in Isan they will take youir shoes son

20,000 is a stack for a girl on her kness in a farm village

Poachers by girls for 400 US

Not be fooled by storys if the gil likes you and excepts her family will not say no... Hell you are going to be giving them money every month anyway HAHA

Bye

[tajtom]

Today an Isaan girl living in Isaan with no English ability expects 10-15,000 Baht a month to live with a foreigner. The ones who can speak English tend to work in the tourist spots where then can earn more money.

,

Duty is to give mother money monthly, the source of the money is not important.

Rubbish

My girl worked and I never paid every month although paid the bills and what she needed

Not all Thais are dummys and sell there pussys

[starky]

Look the fact of the matter is some of these things do hold true up country for Thais and falangs. As usual in Thailand it is all about face. It's not about getting scammed or any of that other shit that people who spend most of their time around hooker's harp on about. I did the traditional Thai wedding and don't believe in sin sot at all but for her and the family to gain face I threw a million baht and 5 baht gold on the table at the ceremony. Afterwards her family gave me back everything. They didn't keep one cracker nor did they ask for one. If you think face and tradition are ridiculous then don't marry a Thai. If you have no interest in helping support your wife and her family don't marry a Thai. Just do me a favour and drop off the boring rhetoric about how Thai women are all greedy lazy thieves who only want you for your money. Says a lot more about you than the women of Thailand also says a lot about the sort of Thai women you associate with. It's apples and oranges you can't compare average Thai women to the hooker's you knock around with in bars.

"If you have no interest in helping support your wife and her family don't marry a Thai", That depends on who you marry, a lot of the rich expats took on wifes and families, looked after them financially because that is the only way they would get a young beautiful Thai wife. I knew that before I bought my wifes (then gf) house, I was not going to support her or her family financially, and she knew it too, she is highly educated and been in the same job for years, I would never have taken up with any Thai girl who could not support herself or her family financially.

That is not to say she has not benefited financially since we took up together (been with each other for 10 years and married for 5) ie, she does not pay mortgage on her house, there have also been other financial benefits for her.

Her parents or family have never asked for any financial benefits from me, she has her money and I have mine.

I do agree though with everything you say except that one thing.

Mate I take your point and you've contradicted yourself but that's OK. My wife works as well and I don't know the other Isaan people talk about. Both her brothers have jobs there are no lazy alcho's in the family and as I said no one has ever asked me for a cracker. Thai or not Thai I would support my wife financially or otherwise but the fact is most Western women couldn't bring to the table financially what I do. I have worked offshore my whole life and make stupid money that I can choose to spend how I wish. If it is my choice that my wife keeps all her money for herself and I take care of most of the bills etc myself that's my business. Personally to be brutally honest it's a drop in the bucket and I enjoy taking care of my wife. If you want to do the yours- mine thing that's up to you but I always assumed marriage was a partnership no matter where in the world you are. I didn't hunt any young wife mate I'm 40 she's 28 and I first came here 17 years ago. You talk about not giving her anything but you bought the house she doesn't pay the mortgage and she has "benefited financially " so I don't really see what your point is. Cheers

[NoshowJones]

Look the fact of the matter is some of these things do hold true up country for Thais and falangs. As usual in Thailand it is all about face. It's not about getting scammed or any of that other shit that people who spend most of their time around hooker's harp on about. I did the traditional Thai wedding and don't believe in sin sot at all but for her and the family to gain face I threw a million baht and 5 baht gold on the table at the ceremony. Afterwards her family gave me back everything. They didn't keep one cracker nor did they ask for one. If you think face and tradition are ridiculous then don't marry a Thai. If you have no interest in helping support your wife and her family don't marry a Thai. Just do me a favour and drop off the boring rhetoric about how Thai women are all greedy lazy thieves who only want you for your money. Says a lot more about you than the women of Thailand also says a lot about the sort of Thai women you associate with. It's apples and oranges you can't compare average Thai women to the hooker's you knock around with in bars.

"If you have no interest in helping support your wife and her family don't marry a Thai", That depends on who you marry, a lot of the rich expats took on wifes and families, looked after them financially because that is the only way they would get a young beautiful Thai wife. I knew that before I bought my wifes (then gf) house, I was not going to support her or her family financially, and she knew it too, she is highly educated and been in the same job for years, I would never have taken up with any Thai girl who could not support herself or her family financially.

That is not to say she has not benefited financially since we took up together (been with each other for 10 years and married for 5) ie, she does not pay mortgage on her house, there have also been other financial benefits for her.

Her parents or family have never asked for any financial benefits from me, she has her money and I have mine.

I do agree though with everything you say except that one thing.

Mate I take your point and you've contradicted yourself but that's OK. My wife works as well and I don't know the other Isaan people talk about. Both her brothers have jobs there are no lazy alcho's in the family and as I said no one has ever asked me for a cracker. Thai or not Thai I would support my wife financially or otherwise but the fact is most Western women couldn't bring to the table financially what I do. I have worked offshore my whole life and make stupid money that I can choose to spend how I wish. If it is my choice that my wife keeps all her money for herself and I take care of most of the bills etc myself that's my business. Personally to be brutally honest it's a drop in the bucket and I enjoy taking care of my wife. If you want to do the yours- mine thing that's up to you but I always assumed marriage was a partnership no matter where in the world you are. I didn't hunt any young wife mate I'm 40 she's 28 and I first came here 17 years ago. You talk about not giving her anything but you bought the house she doesn't pay the mortgage and she has "benefited financially " so I don't really see what your point is. Cheers

I did say I agreed with everything you said, except that first part, and if I could make the stupid money, I would do the same as you. I have mostly been a professional musician, and also a private investigator, I wanted to retire out here, I had my fair share of women back in the UK, I came here hoping to find a wife and settle down, I had made about four trips before I met my wife, so had plenty of experience with Thai girls.

There was no way I was going to support a Thai girl who could not contribute financially, or her family. My post was aimed at these older guys who come over here and, well I think you know the rest. But good luck in your life anyway.

[bermondburi]

I think a lot of people have missed the point of the OP. This has nothing to do with foreigners marrying Thais. The OP was talking about young Thais with young Thais. I would say that for at least half of young people, maybe more like two thirds, and especially in rural areas, a lot of this is true.

This has got absolutely nothing to do with foreigners, bargirls and the like!

[georgemandm]

Look the fact of the matter is some of these things do hold true up country for Thais and falangs. As usual in Thailand it is all about face. It's not about getting scammed or any of that other shit that people who spend most of their time around hooker's harp on about. I did the traditional Thai wedding and don't believe in sin sot at all but for her and the family to gain face I threw a million baht and 5 baht gold on the table at the ceremony. Afterwards her family gave me back everything. They didn't keep one cracker nor did they ask for one. If you think face and tradition are ridiculous then don't marry a Thai. If you have no interest in helping support your wife and her family don't marry a Thai. Just do me a favour and drop off the boring rhetoric about how Thai women are all greedy lazy thieves who only want you for your money. Says a lot more about you than the women of Thailand also says a lot about the sort of Thai women you associate with. It's apples and oranges you can't compare average Thai women to the hooker's you knock around with in bars.

You are joking me are you it is not about money how long have you been coming to thailand or are you sorry to say just stupid

[starky]

Look the fact of the matter is some of these things do hold true up country for Thais and falangs. As usual in Thailand it is all about face. It's not about getting scammed or any of that other shit that people who spend most of their time around hooker's harp on about. I did the traditional Thai wedding and don't believe in sin sot at all but for her and the family to gain face I threw a million baht and 5 baht gold on the table at the ceremony. Afterwards her family gave me back everything. They didn't keep one cracker nor did they ask for one. If you think face and tradition are ridiculous then don't marry a Thai. If you have no interest in helping support your wife and her family don't marry a Thai. Just do me a favour and drop off the boring rhetoric about how Thai women are all greedy lazy thieves who only want you for your money. Says a lot more about you than the women of Thailand also says a lot about the sort of Thai women you associate with. It's apples and oranges you can't compare average Thai women to the hooker's you knock around with in bars.

You are joking me are you it is not about money how long have you been coming to thailand or are you sorry to say just stupid

Well I must be stupid but at least my English comprehension is sufficient to pose a question correctly. Been coming to Thailand since '98 mate. Is your statement saying it is all about money, or it is not? Certainly has not been all about the money in my case quite the opposite. Maybe the low rent hooker's you hang around need constant injections of cash to keep them interested or maybe your just stupid?

[starky]

Look the fact of the matter is some of these things do hold true up country for Thais and falangs. As usual in Thailand it is all about face. It's not about getting scammed or any of that other shit that people who spend most of their time around hooker's harp on about. I did the traditional Thai wedding and don't believe in sin sot at all but for her and the family to gain face I threw a million baht and 5 baht gold on the table at the ceremony. Afterwards her family gave me back everything. They didn't keep one cracker nor did they ask for one. If you think face and tradition are ridiculous then don't marry a Thai. If you have no interest in helping support your wife and her family don't marry a Thai. Just do me a favour and drop off the boring rhetoric about how Thai women are all greedy lazy thieves who only want you for your money. Says a lot more about you than the women of Thailand also says a lot about the sort of Thai women you associate with. It's apples and oranges you can't compare average Thai women to the hooker's you knock around with in bars.

"If you have no interest in helping support your wife and her family don't marry a Thai", That depends on who you marry, a lot of the rich expats took on wifes and families, looked after them financially because that is the only way they would get a young beautiful Thai wife. I knew that before I bought my wifes (then gf) house, I was not going to support her or her family financially, and she knew it too, she is highly educated and been in the same job for years, I would never have taken up with any Thai girl who could not support herself or her family financially.

That is not to say she has not benefited financially since we took up together (been with each other for 10 years and married for 5) ie, she does not pay mortgage on her house, there have also been other financial benefits for her.

Her parents or family have never asked for any financial benefits from me, she has her money and I have mine.

I do agree though with everything you say except that one thing.

Mate I take your point and you've contradicted yourself but that's OK. My wife works as well and I don't know the other Isaan people talk about. Both her brothers have jobs there are no lazy alcho's in the family and as I said no one has ever asked me for a cracker. Thai or not Thai I would support my wife financially or otherwise but the fact is most Western women couldn't bring to the table financially what I do. I have worked offshore my whole life and make stupid money that I can choose to spend how I wish. If it is my choice that my wife keeps all her money for herself and I take care of most of the bills etc myself that's my business. Personally to be brutally honest it's a drop in the bucket and I enjoy taking care of my wife. If you want to do the yours- mine thing that's up to you but I always assumed marriage was a partnership no matter where in the world you are. I didn't hunt any young wife mate I'm 40 she's 28 and I first came here 17 years ago. You talk about not giving her anything but you bought the house she doesn't pay the mortgage and she has "benefited financially " so I don't really see what your point is. Cheers

I did say I agreed with everything you said, except that first part, and if I could make the stupid money, I would do the same as you. I have mostly been a professional musician, and also a private investigator, I wanted to retire out here, I had my fair share of women back in the UK, I came here hoping to find a wife and settle down, I had made about four trips before I met my wife, so had plenty of experience with Thai girls.

There was no way I was going to support a Thai girl who could not contribute financially, or her family. My post was aimed at these older guys who come over here and, well I think you know the rest. But good luck in your life anyway.

Fair enough I know where you are coming from. My wifes family is only moderately wealthy for Isaan but they are all hard workers. I wish my wife would stop work as honestly we don't really need the money. She is far too proud and enjoys her job so who am I too say what she can or can not do? I had to chase my wife she wasn't looking for a farang husband and when we first started seeing each other she was embarrassed to be seen with me such is the stigma that can surround a woman being with a falang. We got past that. She is a loving wife, a wonderful caring mother and I can't think of a better person to spend my days with. I apologize if I came off a little abrasive but I get tired of people trying to put all Thai women into one little box. The bitter and disenchanted brigade on TVF wear you down sometimes. All the best poss.

[georgemandm]

Look the fact of the matter is some of these things do hold true up country for Thais and falangs. As usual in Thailand it is all about face. It's not about getting scammed or any of that other shit that people who spend most of their time around hooker's harp on about. I did the traditional Thai wedding and don't believe in sin sot at all but for her and the family to gain face I threw a million baht and 5 baht gold on the table at the ceremony. Afterwards her family gave me back everything. They didn't keep one cracker nor did they ask for one. If you think face and tradition are ridiculous then don't marry a Thai. If you have no interest in helping support your wife and her family don't marry a Thai. Just do me a favour and drop off the boring rhetoric about how Thai women are all greedy lazy thieves who only want you for your money. Says a lot more about you than the women of Thailand also says a lot about the sort of Thai women you associate with. It's apples and oranges you can't compare average Thai women to the hooker's you knock around with in bars.

You are joking me are you it is not about money how long have you been coming to thailand or are you sorry to say just stupid

Well I must be stupid but at least my English comprehension is sufficient to pose a question correctly. Been coming to Thailand since '98 mate. Is your statement saying it is all about money, or it is not? Certainly has not been all about the money in my case quite the opposite. Maybe the low rent hooker's you hang around need constant injections of cash to keep them interested or maybe your just stupid?

Number one your not my mate ok because you are brain dead ok so my English is not geart but unlike you I think with my big head not my small head like you if you think thai woman are not in it for the money you do need to see a doctor not just thai woman all woman I not knock around hooker's like you

[Ghostnigel]

Courtship is not in the Thai dictionary.

It is 'can I scam you' or not.

The Thai (no capitals intended) phrase to you is 'som nam nar'.

But they will all say 'but she is different !

My AR+E.

Seems like you have only met bargirls...you mean to say you have never met or seen a decent girl in Thailand? Not one?