Peter77 Posted October 6, 2015 Share Posted October 6, 2015 Hi, Looking for some advice, I am originally from UK but have been living in Thailand for 4yrs now and married for over 5yrs to a hi-so girl from Yasothon. Everything is ok as long as we have money, I am on local contract but senior manager position so not too bad salary, thing is it goes very quickly paying for house, school, car, etc. which I don't mind, what I do mind is sending back home to Mum, step-dad, brother, uncle, aunt, cousin, etc. and then her complaining we have no money for her here in Bangkok. Things have been bad lately as been spending money paying off a lot of her debts I didn't know she had before coming here, so pretty much all this year every month my salary is spent in the first couple of days and then I get abusive messages her threatening to sell the house, divorce, take the kids to live on the street, etc. Which is fine, the house and car are not in my name so I could happily agree to her divorce and walk away, not paying for house and car alone would save over 50,000 per month. The only problem is our 4-yr old son, I want to know how I could be sure of getting custody, I'm sure I could get a decent apartment and then work things out around his school (it's 8am-2pm) and then work from home in the evenings, I could happily walk away from my wife and her family, lose the house and car and everything, but not my son, any advice on where I stand regarding child custody? Thanx Peter Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MaeJoMTB Posted October 6, 2015 Share Posted October 6, 2015 (edited) It's you wage, control the use of it. No money for her debts. No money for her family. Pay all household bills yourself. Give her a small amount of spending money each day. Don't let her find your bank book or ATM card. Then let her threaten away. No need to move out, no need to lose anything. Edited October 6, 2015 by MaeJoMTB Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hanuman2543 Posted October 6, 2015 Share Posted October 6, 2015 It's you wage, control the use of it. No money for her debts. No money for her family. Pay all household bills yourself. Give her a small amount of spending money each day. Don't let her find your bank book or ATM card. Then let her threaten away. No need to move out, no need to lose anything. No, actually it is not only his money. I suggest that you read up on the Thai CCC from Section 1470 onwards. It is about the property of husband and wife and salary is sin somros and not sin suan tua. If he is unlucky, he is also responsible for the debts of his wife (depends on when she aquired the debt and for what). According to Section 1516 Thai CCC he has the duty to support his wife. If not, that would be a reason for her to divorce him and gave her the opportunity to sue him for compensation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MaeJoMTB Posted October 6, 2015 Share Posted October 6, 2015 According to Section 1516 Thai CCC he has the duty to support his wife. That's why he gives her "a small amount of spending money each day" He has discharged his duty of support. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MaeJoMTB Posted October 6, 2015 Share Posted October 6, 2015 (edited) PS HiSo girls have their own money and job. HiSo families don't need to scrounge from foreigners. This girl sounds more like an Issan hooker. (looks up Yasothon in Google ....... yep, right first guess!) Edited October 6, 2015 by MaeJoMTB Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JHolmesJr Posted October 6, 2015 Share Posted October 6, 2015 Sorry to hear of ur troubles but the woman ur describing isnt hi-so and could potentially have u killed if you dont proceed with caution. Get her on a FIXED allowance every month to begin with. Tell her your son stands a better chance in life with u there to support him. But dont expect this to work out overnight. Id be tempted to call ger bluff and say u want to go take the kid and go. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jonw8uk Posted October 6, 2015 Share Posted October 6, 2015 "hi-so girl from Yasothon" - do hi so families need your money? Married for 5 years, lived here for 4, found out about her debts when you got here, starting paying them off this year? Hard to get custody from a thai mother I believe, unless you can show the child is unsafe new member, 1st post.... hmmmmm Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peter77 Posted October 6, 2015 Author Share Posted October 6, 2015 Hi, All good feedback, thanx, keep it coming. You are right, I should have said wannabe hi-so, her ex was in oil and gas and gave her evetything until she left him, guess that was not even enough either. Can't say I have had her on fixed income but everything has been by bank transfer, no cash in hand, so can prove have been supporting my wife. Yes it has been more than a year paying off these debts, box was too small to go into a 4-yr sob story, but came to a head last night when I challenged her on spending 10,000 in less than 4 days, been arguing all day and she has taken the kids and not come home tonight. Most friends have advised getting a divorce, just trying to figure out where I stand on custody and that I can just take care of my son and forget about her. Thanx Peter Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MaeJoMTB Posted October 6, 2015 Share Posted October 6, 2015 (edited) been arguing all day and she has taken the kids and not come home tonight. Go away for a couple of weeks, no forwarding address, no contact, no money left behind. Home loans, car payments ....... don't pay anything. Don't answer any phone calls. I'm really good at escalating! As for the kid, If you pretend you don't want him, she won't want him either. It's not as if you can't impregnate another Thai girl tonight. Edited October 6, 2015 by MaeJoMTB Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NickJ Posted October 6, 2015 Share Posted October 6, 2015 I had a Hi-So Gf......A real one. Thai-Chinese. We flew first class all over the globe. Ate in the best restaurants....She bought me more stuff than I care to recall... She kept me hidden from her parents. The rest of the family were great. So......What I think you have is a face playing gold digger. Oh......Pretty much everything we did was on her dime. I really had to plan on ways to pay for stuff........ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bwpage3 Posted October 6, 2015 Share Posted October 6, 2015 You married another man's troubles which rarely ever work out. Materialistic things can be worked out, kids cannot If you love your kid, make a deal with her financially for the kids She won't want them anyways and will shovel them off to her mothers while she looks for big spender # 3 Get a legal agreement worked out for custody of the kids, she will take money, maybe a lump sum to walk away However, after she blows through that, watch out, she will be back threatening you for more Yasothorn is super Lo-So and a high majority end up in the bars in Bangkok You best work out an iron clad legal deal with a lawyer for custody of the kids versus a lump sum payment or other You can always replace the materialistic things Good luck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peter77 Posted October 6, 2015 Author Share Posted October 6, 2015 <deleted> mad bint, she just asked me to bring her chanel eyeliner to her tomorrow, forget about clean clothes and food for the kids. That last piece of advice was good, alright, time to lawyer up, so next question, any good recommendations please? Thanx Peter Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bwpage3 Posted October 6, 2015 Share Posted October 6, 2015 <deleted> mad bint, she just asked me to bring her chanel eyeliner to her tomorrow, forget about clean clothes and food for the kids. That last piece of advice was good, alright, time to lawyer up, so next question, any good recommendations please? Thanx Peter Don't get caught with her with no witnesses. She could always accuse you of anything she wants and get away with it if there are no witnesses Best you keep in mind this is not going to go well You need to try to trade a sum to get free and clear of her and any debt she may still have Then start over fresh with your kids Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoopJoop Posted October 6, 2015 Share Posted October 6, 2015 Hi-So my arse. She ain't even a wannabe. Formerly partnered with a rig pig. Mate, there are no rig pigs with class so she definitely ain't a girl of high status. Leave that hill tribe Issan whore and get legal advice re your kid. Jeez, you should have done your homework. Still, you calling her Hi-So has me thinking you're a very naive lad. Good luck and damn glad it's not me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elgordo38 Posted October 6, 2015 Share Posted October 6, 2015 It's you wage, control the use of it. No money for her debts. No money for her family. Pay all household bills yourself. Give her a small amount of spending money each day. Don't let her find your bank book or ATM card. Then let her threaten away. No need to move out, no need to lose anything. You may need to grow a pair she seems like a banshee. Do like Custer did and make a stand or your pain will only continue and increase. Good Luck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peterrabbit Posted October 6, 2015 Share Posted October 6, 2015 You are approaching this problem the wrong way by thinking as a someone who was instilled with a moral philosophy. You cannot win against the Thai 'mentality' or system. The answer is to circumvent it. Your Son is entitled to a passport from your own country,(assuming you have registered him). 1.apply for it. 2.Plan your exit strategy. 3.When you obtain new passport exit Thailand with son. The chances of Her or the 'family' spending 'their' money to track you down and do anything about it are remote as its clear they are using YOUR son to milk you dry as a cash cow. As soon as they realise they cannot 'milk' you anymore then they will look for another victim. You and your paternal 'rights' are irrelevant, its your money that matters and your son is a 'weapon' to be used to extract money from you for their benefit. Stay calm, think logically, don't let then trap you using your own moral structure, (they are essentially amoral) remember TIT. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tywais Posted October 6, 2015 Share Posted October 6, 2015 3.When you obtain new passport exit Thailand with son. Except the son can't leave the country without her signature agreeing to it unless he has sole custody given by the courts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thaiduncankk Posted October 6, 2015 Share Posted October 6, 2015 (edited) This hi-so thing has always amazed me. A 'self defined' hi-so girl is no better than any other girl, they just think they are better than others because they have a few quid. Even if they made the money by selling themselves, because of the money they made in doing so, they believe they have gone up on the social ladder. Their attitude to others is normally sad, as they tend to talk down to anyone not of the same financial level. It is as bad, in my mind, as the BS face thing over here. Edited October 6, 2015 by thaiduncankk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BKKdreaming Posted October 6, 2015 Share Posted October 6, 2015 Cover your butt ! make sure your passport and papers are at a safe place, and you have originals or copies of all your sons papers , write down time and place and who else was there when she goes off on you , tell her you lost your job , got cutback in pay blah bah blah and you 2 need to make a budget so you can get through the "hard times" , but dangle the carrot that they will restore your hours / pay in a few months, if she is really crazy she will start something so the police are called , if you happen to have a Thai police buddy let him know before it happens , This is not a Thai thing , its a women thing , Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shirtless Posted October 6, 2015 Share Posted October 6, 2015 Stop trying to kid yourself Hi so Thais donr need your money , or you , you have been deceived run like the wind. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
asdecas Posted October 7, 2015 Share Posted October 7, 2015 Yasothorn has hi-so girls? Who knew? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mihalis Posted October 7, 2015 Share Posted October 7, 2015 Get a lawyer.. And call her bluff with all this blackmailing shit.... Id be out of there in a second... you seem to already know, what shes after, $$$$$$$$$$$$$ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoopJoop Posted October 7, 2015 Share Posted October 7, 2015 Stop trying to kid yourself Hi so Thais donr need your money , or you , you have been deceived run like the wind. Did this happen to you shirtless?......your username! Sorry bud, just couldn't help it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jacko45k Posted October 7, 2015 Share Posted October 7, 2015 You are right to be thinking of separation. What kind of wife sends her husband abusive messages? You have dug yourself into a bit of a hole there..... You said kids yet talk of only a single 4 year old son, so she had a child or children before you married her? What were you thinking? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thrilled Posted October 7, 2015 Share Posted October 7, 2015 I've never lucked out and have been with rich women.I agree with a lot of these post.Maybe sit down and have A talk.Give her an Allowance and nothing more.Being she is use to more there's A chance that it could be over. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pkspeaker Posted October 7, 2015 Share Posted October 7, 2015 you have no chance in hell of getting custody of the kid unless she agrees to it, if you try to snatch him away and flee you could get arrested at the airport and goto jail.. if you think shes expensive now wait until you tell her you want the kid and if she is attached to him as you are forget it.. even if she is aggreeable she will demand so much money it will bankrupt you.. oh btw thaivisa is looking for a 'hiso' thai national that can speak perfect english and thai and for this they are willing to pay 15000b a month, a little more than what a waitress makes but not even when you include her tips.. no wonder these people are so desperate for money, even the educated ones are being paid almost nothing for their work while foreigners comes here and are paid 4x as much just for being foreigners Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pkspeaker Posted October 7, 2015 Share Posted October 7, 2015 ok breaking news, immigration just read thaivisas ad for a thai national who speaks perfect english and is educated and will be paid 15000b a month for working 6 days a week.. just got a knock on the door, we're all being sent to Thaichowits.. pack your bag folks, 'work will set you free' Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nithisa78 Posted October 7, 2015 Share Posted October 7, 2015 You can't even work your marriage out. Don't think you can be a parent. You foolishly think your wife is Hi-So. There is no such thing. You're filled with no such thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wvavin Posted October 7, 2015 Share Posted October 7, 2015 Your self-proclaimed hi-so girl is not the real one. Wish you good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fred Kubasa Posted October 7, 2015 Share Posted October 7, 2015 Take the boy, move as far away as possible, another school, another job and I seriously doubt they can/will make any effort to reverse your move. Odds are in your favor plus what have you got you lose ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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