Fending Off GF's Friends?

[stephenterry]

Be (dis)honest about it, e.g. they might have more money to spend, but you're better-looking. A spoonful of flattery, and she'll forget about keeping up with them. However it is still an issue if you are pressed into many outings that is draining your finances. A dangerous risk is to start flirting with her friends, that could work if you're(dis)honest and say you had the hots for her. Women's psychology is they'll get into a huff and later realise that you are acting like a MAN - they like that.

And for Buddha's sake don't buy her a dog, because the 'fashion' nowadays is a tiny little pooch that is carried in a designer handbag. Saw one yesterday outside Wine Connection where all the Hi-so wannabies hang out. Totally insane.

[kennypowers]

If she is jealous of their material wealth; even if you suddenly came into money and were able to provide the same, the goal posts would soon move and her aspirations would elevate. People who lust after material things are never happy, because once they get the next best thing another next best thing quickly appears. There will always be a newer handbag to buy, a new iPhone on the market, a new trendy champagne that costs double the one everyone was drinking last year, a new brand of clothing that costs a bomb but no more to produce than the 200 Baht lines sold in the market.

If she doesn't feel emotionally and spiritually enriched by your relationship, no amount of money, and no "richer farang", will make her happy. There will always be someone richer than her, someone with a younger boyfriend, someone with a more handsome boyfriend, a bigger house, a better car, the list goes on.

Perhaps this is your insecurity, I don't know, or maybe she's just young and is yet to turn the search inwards and realise that there's no happiness to be found in material envy.

[NickJ]

Keeping up with the Jones's is a never ending game of trading up and spending money you shouldnt...........I lived, married and played the game for well over a decade here and now I just shake my head when I think about it.

Having a gf now that is the exact opposite is really a nice change.........

[villagefarang]

Material envy may not produce happiness but is anyone seriously suggesting that doing without nice stuff is the only route to happiness? A nicer house, a better car and no financial worries can go a long way to improving the quality of the time you spend spiritually enriching your relationship.

[kennypowers]

Material envy may not produce happiness but is anyone seriously suggesting that doing without nice stuff is the only route to happiness? A nicer house, a better car and no financial worries can go a long way to improving the quality of the time you spend spiritually enriching your relationship.

I wasn't suggesting that.

[thaiduncankk]

Buy her a dog...than she has no time for her friends anymore....

Or get her pregnant...

Both worked out pretty well for me...

... Ha ha, have considered that!

that's how thais do it to get out of sinsods, get their girl pregnant. was not my intention but same thing happened to me. girl I had been seeing casually for a number of years (without any financial support, why I will never know)got pregnant and is greatfull for the salary I pay her. luckily she does not hang around with any of the girls from he old bar. seems having a thai girlfriend often involves dealing with her friends b#llshit as well. if you don't have kids better cut her loose and just go about enjoying your single life.

Salary - a form of periodic payment from an employer to an employee.

Her old bar !

Relationship made in heaven.

[jdlancaster]

That jealousy thing can run both ways.... the girls with "rich" old men can be jealous of the girl with the hot young farang without much cash.hell.... theyll even try to bang him sometimes. If your young hot and rich... welll.... you probably aren't worried about any particular girl.

[dotpoom]

If she dont like it she needs to leave or you need to take a bank loan out....your choice, fending ofv her friends is control freak behaviour and will create even more problems...

... Not really, as she's not asked, nor ever demanded anything more from me than I can legitimately give her. She well knows my financial constraints. Just know she's less than happy or perhaps jealous that some of her friends scored the jackpot hooking up with well-off farangs.

Then its up to her to either find a guy that gives her what she wants or stay with you. Quite simple.

She just needs to either accept that what she has is good enough or move on. Nothing you can do will change that.

That says it all.

[1FinickyOne]

It sounds like she is dealing with it fine - - and you have the problem. If it is uncomfortable for you, then I would not seek out the others but not deter the contact if she enjoys it more than you.

One definition of financial well being is being better off than your neighbors. She does not seem to be using it against you. EVERYONE or nearly, wants more money. Warren Buffet is still working.

If her friends enjoy champagne and can afford it - great. You cannot dictate to them because you are not as wealthy. Most people with $ have the sense to know that and know how to not make it uncomfortable for others.

Just don't make a big deal of it and enjoy your time with what seems to be a nice, content understanding lady. You likely will not always be the richest guy in the room. Nobody will care. Get used to it.

[SOUTHERNSTAR]

The Thai saying goes "don't build statues from water".

[HikeFromLA]

Well

Your obviously a soft touch lol

Her GFs are proper low whores that suck cock for a living

So it makes me wonder about your choice

My girl knows if I say no more see that girl she does just that.

This is the point.

Yes, it's possible that the OP's girl is a hopeless gold-digger.

But much more common, she is a normal modern girl with the modern-girl issue of peer-expectations.

Women are very thin-skinned. One person explained it as, imagine having all your skin peeled off. Imagine how sensitive you would be to the slightest touch. That's what women live with.

And the problem is not new. The Book of Ecclesiasticus, written by Joshua Ben-Sirach two-plus millennia ago, has the following warning regarding virgin daughters living at home: "Do not let her ... spend her time with married women". Women are followers. If allowed to run with the female herd, they will seek approval from the herd. The competition and one-upmanship between women is a powerful force.

So, as EJK illustrates in his comment above, this is a point where YOU have to step in and "play the man".

"My girl knows if I say no more see that girl she does just that."

If her friends are negative bitches, or shameless golddiggers, or two-timing sluts -- then cut them off from her. She is your responsibility. Protect her.

Even if you might be seen as a tad overbearing and over-protective, the act of you protecting her is to her, erotic.

[HerbalEd]

If she dont like it she needs to leave or you need to take a bank loan out....your choice, fending ofv her friends is control freak behaviour and will create even more problems...

... Not really, as she's not asked, nor ever demanded anything more from me than I can legitimately give her. She well knows my financial constraints. Just know she's less than happy or perhaps jealous that some of her friends scored the jackpot hooking up with well-off farangs.

Regarding: "Just know she's less than happy or perhaps jealous that some of her friends scored the jackpot hooking up with well-off farangs."

That's what you "think" you know. But if indeed that's the case, then so be it.

But, you also say: "she's not asked, nor ever demanded anything more from me than I can legitimately give her." So maybe you're thinking up problems that don't exist. Sounds like the problem is yours, not hers.

[Daniel Boon]

Your insecure pure and simple....you don't know what she thinks unless she's told you, stay within your means and who's to say these so called rich bfs and husbands are actually rich lot of people splash some money around and it looks more than what it is.

Most Thia women are in it for love not $ like a lot of jaded guys here claim, treat her well and love her unconditionally and keep a check on your thoughts.

well said AlexRRR

[Daniel Boon]

you for real? hope you are joking. basically every thai girl/ferang 'relationship' I have seen in my 10 years of life in Thailand has been based on money. almost without fail the relationships have been about draining as much from the buffalo as possible. sometime quickly if the girl does not like her sponsor. or quickly if she is enjoying the lifestyle and can still get away to bang her thai boy occasionally.

and the difference with non-Thai women? please explain Ohh wise one

[Searat7]

If she dont like it she needs to leave or you need to take a bank loan out....your choice, fending ofv her friends is control freak behaviour and will create even more problems...

... Not really, as she's not asked, nor ever demanded anything more from me than I can legitimately give her. She well knows my financial constraints. Just know she's less than happy or perhaps jealous that some of her friends scored the jackpot hooking up with well-off farangs.

Then its up to her to either find a guy that gives her what she wants or stay with you. Quite simple.

She just needs to either accept that what she has is good enough or move on. Nothing you can do will change that.

That says it all.

Why not have a talk with her and share your observations ? If I was in your position I would want to be reasonably sure that the relationship was on a solid footing and that she was not just using you until she finds a more affluent replacement. The result of this chat should either reduce your insecurity or tell you that it's time to move on.

[Orac]

The Thai saying goes "don't build statues from water".

I hadn't heard that one but, when I got married, there was a large ice sculpture of a swan on show for some reason that was melting very quickly - maybe it was a subtle hint!

[SOTIRIOS]

...she may be getting more than you think....

...or do you want to tell yourself 'this is love'.....

[MaeJoMTB]

That jealousy thing can run both ways.... the girls with "rich" old men can be jealous of the girl with the hot young farang without much cash.hell.... theyll even try to bang him sometimes. If your young hot and rich... welll.... you probably aren't worried about any particular girl.

I've never seen that,

And generally that sort of girl will bang anyone.

But they stay with the one that gives them money.

Monogamy isn't really all that big a deal in Thailand.

[hakuho]

first off, dump her and get yourself a dog; realize that the shelf-life of relationships with Thai girls should be measured in months or weeks....you or I will never really grok the intent of Thais, given their passive-aggressive training in spinning their reality....pity you.

[robblok]

Your insecure pure and simple....you don't know what she thinks unless she's told you, stay within your means and who's to say these so called rich bfs and husbands are actually rich lot of people splash some money around and it looks more than what it is.

Most Thia women are in it for love not $ like a lot of jaded guys here claim, treat her well and love her unconditionally and keep a check on your thoughts.

you for real? hope you are joking. basically every thai girl/ferang 'relationship' I have seen in my 10 years of life in Thailand has been based on money. almost without fail the relationships have been about draining as much from the buffalo as possible. sometime quickly if the girl does not like her sponsor. or quickly if she is enjoying the lifestyle and can still get away to bang her thai boy occasionally.

I seen many where the girl loves the farang guy even supports him. I came out a relation where I did not have to pay a thing. It depends in what circles you run but your remark that your girl should not see her friends from her old bar says enough actually. Hard to find good girl in a bar. (and the idea to pay sinsod to a bar girl )

But I am sure you and many others will always convince themselves that there is no real love and there are no Thai woman who hold good jobs and love a good looking guy. Anyway have fun living in your Thailand. Thailand differs for everyone and that is largely dependent on what kind of people you run with and where you live.

[GOLDBUGGY]

Envy in a woman is a very dangerous thing! So Friends like this, who like to boast, are also dangerous to have around her.The best solution is to keep her away from this friend if you can.

You can also try to explain to her that a person who boasts like this is like a Potato Plant. That the best part of her is hidden out of sight and under ground. That she boasts because she has problems, like a bad relationship with her husband who may cheat on her, beat her, or is a drunk. You can always find something from a person who boasts a lot.

A lot may have to do with your attitude. You don't have to be rich but do you have ambition to have a better life and job? No woman wants a loser who is stuck in some dead end job, going nowhere, and no plans to change that. If you have a decent job now, then don't worry about it. Not all of us can be rich or come from a rich family.If she is too rich for your blood then move on and find a nice Farm Girl. .

[GOLDBUGGY]

I am being to get a feeling its not the GF who has the issue with this but you

.. You may be right somewhat as I'd really like to offer her more financial benefit. But I'm not destitute, treat her with respect, and can afford occasional decent gifts of gold and nice outings. But as she sees and joins her friends in constant lavish outings, is this unduly influencing her expectations?

You already know you are uncomfortable with these type of people so why hang out with them? Personally I would feel like a lesser person around them to, and nobody wants to feel that way. With the expensive wine and dress I think they are just trying to show off to you anyway, and make you envious. Pop by her house and she will be in ragged Jean Shorts and an Old Top.

When all else fails, be honest with your GF. Just tell her how you feel and tell her why you don't want t hang out with them anymore. Or bite the bullet and ignore it. Let them buy all the rounds and keep your wallet in your pocket. When it becomes your turn tell them you can't afford it. They will soon drop you as friends anyway.

[Liquorice]

Usually I find it's not the foreigner who brags about his wealth, but the Thai g/f or wife .

They measure there importance in society by 'face' and the bigger the wealth, the more 'face' they gain (or so they think)

My g/f hates these types of Thai women. She has the sense to see straight through their false charade of love.

[Pdaz]

Just tell her that her friends rich boyfriends are just compensating for their tiny kno8s..

[Pdaz]

On a more serious note. There may not be any real pressure from these fellas for you to pay or treat them ( just in your own head as you feel you must keep up ) I have a pretty varied circle and not all are minted. They are our friends and TBH when one of the more budget conscious guys buys a round or pays for food ( even just cheap beer or food from a stall ) it's often more appreciated by us as we know they aren't as well off financially. If these people are genuine friends and your GF hasn't "bigged you up" they should be happy to accept you and not be worried who grabs the check. The odd token gesture and an offer to contribute is usually appreciated.

[yaudah]

If she dont like it she needs to leave or you need to take a bank loan out....your choice, fending ofv her friends is control freak behaviour and will create even more problems...

... Not really, as she's not asked, nor ever demanded anything more from me than I can legitimately give her. She well knows my financial constraints. Just know she's less than happy or perhaps jealous that some of her friends scored the jackpot hooking up with well-off farangs.

Then its up to her to either find a guy that gives her what she wants or stay with you. Quite simple.

She just needs to either accept that what she has is good enough or move on. Nothing you can do will change that.

... Yes you may be right. Just trying to perhaps lessen her hidden jealousy or keep her expectations realistically in check by suggesting how to "fend off certain of her friends".

I feel that it is rather you who is the jealous part here ?

If what you write is correct that is....................................

[bazza40]

Buy her a dog...than she has no time for her friends anymore....

Or get her pregnant...

Both worked out pretty well for me...

Eh? Did you get both of them pregnant?

[thaiduncankk]

Most Thia women are in it for love not $

More TV bullsh*t.

Edited October 25, 2015 by CharlieH

[off road pat]

I have a good friend that was in the same situation. there are only two solutions to this.....1- The easiest, get a new girlfriend !. 2- The more difficult and nearly impossible, take her away from the influence of the girlfriends. It's entirely up to you,...if you can see the problems ahead of you... she is materialistic, and will sooner or later fall for a wealthier guy. Save yourself of the problems ahead...

My friend was married so he had to get a divorce....

best of luck, Regards.

[off road pat]

Usually I find it's not the foreigner who brags about his wealth, but the Thai g/f or wife .

They measure there importance in society by 'face' and the bigger the wealth, the more 'face' they gain (or so they think)

My g/f hates these types of Thai women. She has the sense to see straight through their false charade of love.

You are so right in this, lucky for me I have a similar kind of wife. She also can see right though the whole show of wealth.......

Best regards. Off Road Pat.