Relationships in Thailand

[Andrew65]

I like the idea of a coin operated relationship....????

So do the girls, the guy is the banker, and she has the chance of hitting the jackpot!

[thailand49]

In all due respect.. yes you are right lots of threads and post regarding this topic and your post is a common one for someone who just visits. It depends on the girl and the person your are?

It is tough enough to be in a relationship/marraige in the States/West... years ago the % was like 50% I wonder what it is today? Being in a foreign country not being able to speak the language, a whole different type of culture and thinking, and in general a girl/lady that does not have more than a junior high education what do you think your % chances are going to be?

Sure there are success stories but I think you need to live here for a period otherwise you are walking around with rose color glasses.

[SoiBiker]

In all due respect.. yes you are right lots of threads and post regarding this topic and your post is a common one for someone who just visits. It depends on the girl and the person your are?

It is tough enough to be in a relationship/marraige in the States/West... years ago the % was like 50% I wonder what it is today? Being in a foreign country not being able to speak the language, a whole different type of culture and thinking, and in general a girl/lady that does not have more than a junior high education what do you think your % chances are going to be?

Sure there are success stories but I think you need to live here for a period otherwise you are walking around with rose color glasses.

Whose post are you replying to here?

[NoshowJones]

Quite a few Thai woman I have met have a 'father fixation', which can explain why they want an older man who they can respect and who can control them.

Their family situation often has one or more of the following elements. Her father died when she was young. She feels he really loved her and she misses him. She has a brother who she thinks her mother and family loves best. She always felt unloved by her mother and that the son(s) got the best of everything (this seems to be a Thai thing). She feels that her mother only tolerates her and expects money from her. Her mother is too busy with her new boyfriend to pay much attention to her.

Subconciously, she will be attracted to an older man to replace her father. And it often works both ways, She gets the father figure and love that has been missing in her life and he gets youth and energy to make him feel needed and more alive. There's nothing wrong with this relationship trade-off in my mind?

There's nothing wrong with it at all, as long as the guy knows there is very little chance that she actually loves him.

[NoshowJones]

I like the idea of a coin operated relationship....????

Surely these days you'd swipe your credit card instead?

Thai retailers don't like customers with credit or debit cards, they want cash!

So I can't just tap them with my Rabbit card?

Yes, you can use your Rabbit card in MacDonalds.

[thailand49]

In all due respect.. yes you are right lots of threads and post regarding this topic and your post is a common one for someone who just visits. It depends on the girl and the person your are?

It is tough enough to be in a relationship/marraige in the States/West... years ago the % was like 50% I wonder what it is today? Being in a foreign country not being able to speak the language, a whole different type of culture and thinking, and in general a girl/lady that does not have more than a junior high education what do you think your % chances are going to be?

Sure there are success stories but I think you need to live here for a period otherwise you are walking around with rose color glasses.

Whose post are you replying to here?

Sorry the original poster who started the thread. Oh, I guess that is you.

Edited November 6, 2015 by thailand49

[eldragon]

In all due respect.. yes you are right lots of threads and post regarding this topic and your post is a common one for someone who just visits. It depends on the girl and the person your are?

It is tough enough to be in a relationship/marraige in the States/West... years ago the % was like 50% I wonder what it is today? Being in a foreign country not being able to speak the language, a whole different type of culture and thinking, and in general a girl/lady that does not have more than a junior high education what do you think your % chances are going to be?

Sure there are success stories but I think you need to live here for a period otherwise you are walking around with rose color glasses.

All good points, but attitude trumps all of em. In the west we say whatever we want and care very little what people beyond our peers and coworkers think about us. Thais on the other hand seem a bit more reserved and are not as likely to criticize authority with any kind of harshness. These reasons make it difficult to relate and, I believe, are a good part of the reason why many guys date the bar girls.

[SoiBiker]

In all due respect.. yes you are right lots of threads and post regarding this topic and your post is a common one for someone who just visits. It depends on the girl and the person your are?

It is tough enough to be in a relationship/marraige in the States/West... years ago the % was like 50% I wonder what it is today? Being in a foreign country not being able to speak the language, a whole different type of culture and thinking, and in general a girl/lady that does not have more than a junior high education what do you think your % chances are going to be?

Sure there are success stories but I think you need to live here for a period otherwise you are walking around with rose color glasses.

Whose post are you replying to here?

Sorry the original poster who started the thread. Oh, I guess that is you.

I that case - in all due respect - your rather patronising assumptions are way off the mark. I'm not 'someone who just visits', I've lived here for years. I speak the language (albeit rather badly). And I'm certainly not in a relationship with someone with no more than a junior high education.

[thailand49]

In all due respect.. yes you are right lots of threads and post regarding this topic and your post is a common one for someone who just visits. It depends on the girl and the person your are?

It is tough enough to be in a relationship/marraige in the States/West... years ago the % was like 50% I wonder what it is today? Being in a foreign country not being able to speak the language, a whole different type of culture and thinking, and in general a girl/lady that does not have more than a junior high education what do you think your % chances are going to be?

Sure there are success stories but I think you need to live here for a period otherwise you are walking around with rose color glasses.

All good points, but attitude trumps all of em. In the west we say whatever we want and care very little what people beyond our peers and coworkers think about us. Thais on the other hand seem a bit more reserved and are not as likely to criticize authority with any kind of harshness. These reasons make it difficult to relate and, I believe, are a good part of the reason why many guys date the bar girls.

You have a valid point.. but their culture and education system does not provide for criticism especially constructive. They look and act reserve because this is what they are taught. This is what we see.. so attractive right... old school Asian... do not speak.. take care of the kids, cook for me , wipe my ass and fold my clothes. They do not like confrontation so they are silent but they keep it it until it boils over. Before I go on I'm Asian! Get to know them or once they know they got you wrap around their fingers that is when you will slowly see the true color out of them. Have you ever really seen a Thai girl/lady go off. The men are even worse because they have this I'm Thai man greatest in the world and once you set them otf look out. This is the reason so many beat their women behind close doors. They let them have their say in public feel big and strong I wear the pants in the family. Thai men give them their due but at home if you continue "smack" make one thing clear I do not condon violence against a women but I've seen here some of the sweetest women that would go off getting me thinking " shit I would never hit a women but what I just saw would make a man want to "!

Edited November 6, 2015 by thailand49

[JLCrab]

An above post suggested that, for a desirable relationship, at least for him, a Thailady should have a basic wording knowledge of English. Mine doesn't. There is a big age difference and, when we are out in public others might might assume what is generally assumed until they hear that all our conversation and banter is in Thai. So what's generally assumed ain't what's going down.

Perhaps the poster wanted his woman to speak English because he speaks little Thai. However, even if you speak Thai, having a spouse who understands English is a benefit--if nothing more than being able to speak to your family and friends and help your kids learn English. Also, other than believing you have been here a long time, I do not see how your banter in Thai changes the opinion of your relationship with your wife for those who do not know you.

I used to downplay the importance of having a Thai girl that spoke passable English. But when you consider the opportunities and lifetime they've all had to acquire a working knowledge of the language, the ones that don't start to seem pretty dense.

How many do you need?

[MaeJoMTB]

In all due respect.. yes you are right lots of threads and post regarding this topic and your post is a common one for someone who just visits. It depends on the girl and the person your are?

It is tough enough to be in a relationship/marraige in the States/West... years ago the % was like 50% I wonder what it is today? Being in a foreign country not being able to speak the language, a whole different type of culture and thinking, and in general a girl/lady that does not have more than a junior high education what do you think your % chances are going to be?

Sure there are success stories but I think you need to live here for a period otherwise you are walking around with rose color glasses.

I that case - in all due respect - your rather patronising assumptions are way off the mark. I'm not 'someone who just visits', I've lived here for years. I speak the language (albeit rather badly). And I'm certainly not in a relationship with someone with no more than a junior high education.

In all due respect,

You're an outsider, never lived with a Thai person, only see what they choose to show, and they don't show much to foreigners.

Live here with your English wife as long as you like, in the end you will still know nothing about Thais.

Hiding the fact your wife is English, in your OP, doesn't get you any brownie points.

A two week sex tourist probably knows as much as you, at least he interacts with Thai women.

Edited November 6, 2015 by MaeJoMTB

[SoiBiker]

We're all outsiders here, fella.

When did I claim any special knowledge about Thai people?

[thailand49]

In all due respect.. yes you are right lots of threads and post regarding this topic and your post is a common one for someone who just visits. It depends on the girl and the person your are?

It is tough enough to be in a relationship/marraige in the States/West... years ago the % was like 50% I wonder what it is today? Being in a foreign country not being able to speak the language, a whole different type of culture and thinking, and in general a girl/lady that does not have more than a junior high education what do you think your % chances are going to be?

Sure there are success stories but I think you need to live here for a period otherwise you are walking around with rose color glasses.

Whose post are you replying to here?

Sorry the original poster who started the thread. Oh, I guess that is you.

I that case - in all due respect - your rather patronising assumptions are way off the mark. I'm not 'someone who just visits', I've lived here for years. I speak the language (albeit rather badly). And I'm certainly not in a relationship with someone with no more than a junior high education.

Again no offense but in all due respect not to lessen your experience here. Although you speak. can you write.. I can although badly. As noted, I've live on a Thai farm slept on the floor no A/C,, plow the rich field with the family.. eat nothing but Thai food.. shower with nothing but cold water year round. I ask, can you even squak to take a shit? If you were to drive by you wouldn't even know I was a Expat.

Not to be disrespect. just the share fact that you feel you are not in a relationship with someone without a junior high education confirms what I originally posted. If I got a baht each time from a Expat saying this I would be rich, I don't know how many Expats I have met at support groups that say that trying to give a leg up to their ladies. First, she wouldn't even be with you if you didn't have a leg up with money because if they can find a Thai man with money etc... why would she be with you. You are hurt but think where you met her... I can safely say 9-10 Farangs I meet in Pattaya the girl was or once in the business. Let me clarify so you do not think I hate Thais I'm married to one and have a son but it is what it is.. no matter how much think it is.

Personally, I say what I say.. but it is your life.. you ask now take it like a real man biker.

Edited November 6, 2015 by CharlieH

[SoiBiker]

Again no offense but in all due respect not to lessen your experience here. Although you speak. can you write.. I can although badly. As noted, I've live on a Thai farm slept on the floor no A/C,, plow the rich field with the family.. eat nothing but Thai food.. shower with nothing but cold water year round. If you were to drive by you wouldn't even know I was a Expat.

Not to be disrespect. just the share fact that you feel you are not in a relationship with someone without a junior high education confirms what I originally posted. If I got a baht each time from a Expat saying this I would be richer than the HM, I don't know how many Expats I have met at support groups that say that trying to give a leg up to their ladies. First, she wouldn't even be with you if you didn't have a leg up with money because if they can find a Thai man with money etc... why would she be with you. You are hurt but think where you met her... I can safely say 9-10 Farangs I meet in Pattaya the girl was or once in the business. Let me clarify so you do not think I hate Thais I'm married to one and have a son but it is what it is.. no matter how much think it is.

Personally, I say what I say.. but it is your life.. you ask now take it like a real man biker.

Again, you're barking up the wrong tree.

Yes, I can read and write Thai - rather better than I can speak it actually. And I'm not giving my wife a 'leg up', she's considerably more qualified than I am, and doesn't need my money. I didn't meet her in 'the business', either.

Try assuming less and reading more.

[thailand49]

Again no offense but in all due respect not to lessen your experience here. Although you speak. can you write.. I can although badly. As noted, I've live on a Thai farm slept on the floor no A/C,, plow the rich field with the family.. eat nothing but Thai food.. shower with nothing but cold water year round. If you were to drive by you wouldn't even know I was a Expat.

Not to be disrespect. just the share fact that you feel you are not in a relationship with someone without a junior high education confirms what I originally posted. If I got a baht each time from a Expat saying this I would be richer than the HM, I don't know how many Expats I have met at support groups that say that trying to give a leg up to their ladies. First, she wouldn't even be with you if you didn't have a leg up with money because if they can find a Thai man with money etc... why would she be with you. You are hurt but think where you met her... I can safely say 9-10 Farangs I meet in Pattaya the girl was or once in the business. Let me clarify so you do not think I hate Thais I'm married to one and have a son but it is what it is.. no matter how much think it is.

Personally, I say what I say.. but it is your life.. you ask now take it like a real man biker.

Again, you're barking up the wrong tree.

Yes, I can read and write Thai - rather better than I can speak it actually. And I'm not giving my wife a 'leg up', she's considerably more qualified than I am, and doesn't need my money. I didn't meet her in 'the business', either.

Try assuming less and reading moreIn that case we have nothing to discuss, I leave with agree to disagree, I just wonder b ased

In that case the discussion for me here ends with agree to disagree, I just wonder now it everything you say is true and you already know the answer why did you even post your question? Because you are wasting peoples time, you got answers to your question you didn't like so now you want to tick for tack! If I told you I can cook Thai you would say you are the greatest Thai cook in Thailand. You want a leg up go for it!

Bye good luck enjoy

Edited November 6, 2015 by thailand49

[SoiBiker]

Again no offense but in all due respect not to lessen your experience here. Although you speak. can you write.. I can although badly. As noted, I've live on a Thai farm slept on the floor no A/C,, plow the rich field with the family.. eat nothing but Thai food.. shower with nothing but cold water year round. If you were to drive by you wouldn't even know I was a Expat.

Not to be disrespect. just the share fact that you feel you are not in a relationship with someone without a junior high education confirms what I originally posted. If I got a baht each time from a Expat saying this I would be richer than the HM, I don't know how many Expats I have met at support groups that say that trying to give a leg up to their ladies. First, she wouldn't even be with you if you didn't have a leg up with money because if they can find a Thai man with money etc... why would she be with you. You are hurt but think where you met her... I can safely say 9-10 Farangs I meet in Pattaya the girl was or once in the business. Let me clarify so you do not think I hate Thais I'm married to one and have a son but it is what it is.. no matter how much think it is.

Personally, I say what I say.. but it is your life.. you ask now take it like a real man biker.

Again, you're barking up the wrong tree.

Yes, I can read and write Thai - rather better than I can speak it actually. And I'm not giving my wife a 'leg up', she's considerably more qualified than I am, and doesn't need my money. I didn't meet her in 'the business', either.

Try assuming less and reading moreIn that case we have nothing to discuss, I leave with agree to disagree, I just wonder b ased

In that case the discussion for me here ends with agree to disagree, I just wonder now it everything you say is true and you already know the answer why did you even post your question? Because you are wasting peoples time, you got answers to your question you didn't like so now you want to tick for tack!

Bye good luck enjoy

I didn't ask a question - I started a discussion. One that has, for the most part, been quite interesting.

You didn't offer any answers, either. Just a load of nonsense intended to demonstrate your superior Thainess, which ended up making you look a little silly.

Have a nice day, though.

[fang37]

Referring to the opening post of this thread -

Starting relationships here - too easy.

Maintaining a quality relationship - not far different than in one's country of origin.

Language & cultural differences. In time, these can be overcome.

[eldragon]

In all due respect.. yes you are right lots of threads and post regarding this topic and your post is a common one for someone who just visits. It depends on the girl and the person your are?

It is tough enough to be in a relationship/marraige in the States/West... years ago the % was like 50% I wonder what it is today? Being in a foreign country not being able to speak the language, a whole different type of culture and thinking, and in general a girl/lady that does not have more than a junior high education what do you think your % chances are going to be?

Sure there are success stories but I think you need to live here for a period otherwise you are walking around with rose color glasses.

All good points, but attitude trumps all of em. In the west we say whatever we want and care very little what people beyond our peers and coworkers think about us. Thais on the other hand seem a bit more reserved and are not as likely to criticize authority with any kind of harshness. These reasons make it difficult to relate and, I believe, are a good part of the reason why many guys date the bar girls.

You have a valid point.. but their culture and education system does not provide for criticism especially constructive. They look and act reserve because this is what they are taught. This is what we see.. so attractive right... old school Asian... do not speak.. take care of the kids, cook for me , wipe my ass and fold my clothes. They do not like confrontation so they are silent but they keep it it until it boils over. Before I go on I'm Asian! Get to know them or once they know they got you wrap around their fingers that is when you will slowly see the true color out of them. Have you ever really seen a Thai girl/lady go off. The men are even worse because they have this I'm Thai man greatest in the world and once you set them otf look out. This is the reason so many beat their women behind close doors. They let them have their say in public feel big and strong I wear the pants in the family. Thai men give them their due but at home if you continue "smack" make one thing clear I do not condon violence against a women but I've seen here some of the sweetest women that would go off getting me thinking " shit I would never hit a women but what I just saw would make a man want to "!

I understand those things are part of the culture. And I'm not criticizing it. I just see it as a big reason why I don't connect with many of the women here. Submissiveness, or even the appearance of it, has never been a selling point to me. I like Thai girls b/c they're mellow and easygoing. And feminine. I've found if you treat em right, they don't complain about much. And despite the stereotypes about honesty, they seem fairly straightforward about telling you what they want. The part that gets me is the way they try to hide things, and the how you kinda have to feign ignorance for fear of the eventual argument.

I was not aware domestic violence was that bad here, but I know the type of guys you're talking about. The ones that wave you over when they're drunk and half seem like they want to fight you. Can't imagine dating the kind of girl you mentioned. None of the ones I've had in my room would ever talk like that. But I've always been pretty honest with all of em.

[SoiBiker]

Submissiveness, or even the appearance of it, has never been a selling point to me.

Me neither. I like a woman who has her own opinions, and isn't afraid to express them. I think I'd just get bored of someone meek who agreed with me all the time.

[fang37]

Submissiveness, or even the appearance of it, has never been a selling point to me.

Me neither. I like a woman who has her own opinions, and isn't afraid to express them. I think I'd just get bored of someone meek who agreed with me all the time.

I think it depends upon each situation.

My wife has a university degree.

She is not backward in coming forward!

[SoiBiker]

Submissiveness, or even the appearance of it, has never been a selling point to me.

Me neither. I like a woman who has her own opinions, and isn't afraid to express them. I think I'd just get bored of someone meek who agreed with me all the time.

I think it depends upon each situation.

My wife has a university degree.

She is not backward in coming forward!

Oh absolutely. I'm not trying to make out that Thai women are all meek and submissive by any means. I know quite a few that are anything but!

[SoiBiker]

In all due respect,

You're an outsider, never lived with a Thai person, only see what they choose to show, and they don't show much to foreigners.

Live here with your English wife as long as you like, in the end you will still know nothing about Thais.

Hiding the fact your wife is English, in your OP, doesn't get you any brownie points.

A two week sex tourist probably knows as much as you, at least he interacts with Thai women.

You do realise there are ways to interact with women other than marrying them or hiring them for sex, right?

[smotherb]

An above post suggested that, for a desirable relationship, at least for him, a Thailady should have a basic wording knowledge of English. Mine doesn't. There is a big age difference and, when we are out in public others might might assume what is generally assumed until they hear that all our conversation and banter is in Thai. So what's generally assumed ain't what's going down.

Perhaps the poster wanted his woman to speak English because he speaks little Thai. However, even if you speak Thai, having a spouse who understands English is a benefit--if nothing more than being able to speak to your family and friends and help your kids learn English. Also, other than believing you have been here a long time, I do not see how your banter in Thai changes the opinion of your relationship with your wife for those who do not know you.

As I said, at least for him. She does not know my friends or family. We are not married There are no kids. Most of the relationships between an older farang and a young Thai female to which on here and elsewhere are often referred in disparaging terms would not have 2 persons speaking exclusively in Thai -- it would more likely indicate that we have been together for a long time and did not just meet last week.

So, following your logic, a farang who speaks Thai and just met a bar girl who speaks little English, would not talk to each other in Thai until they had known each other for a long time. Hmm, I guess that does explain your post.

[eldragon]

Submissiveness, or even the appearance of it, has never been a selling point to me.

Me neither. I like a woman who has her own opinions, and isn't afraid to express them. I think I'd just get bored of someone meek who agreed with me all the time.

I think it depends upon each situation.

My wife has a university degree.

She is not backward in coming forward!

Oh absolutely. I'm not trying to make out that Thai women are all meek and submissive by any means. I know quite a few that are anything but!

Depends on the situation. And on the other hand, one thing I do like is the separation of interests. Thai girls seem perfectly fine letting boys be boys and girls be girls. They don't expect me to be their best friend and share every interest with them. They go shopping with their friends and let me have a beer with mine.

[JLCrab]

An above post suggested that, for a desirable relationship, at least for him, a Thailady should have a basic wording knowledge of English. Mine doesn't. There is a big age difference and, when we are out in public others might might assume what is generally assumed until they hear that all our conversation and banter is in Thai. So what's generally assumed ain't what's going down.

Perhaps the poster wanted his woman to speak English because he speaks little Thai. However, even if you speak Thai, having a spouse who understands English is a benefit--if nothing more than being able to speak to your family and friends and help your kids learn English. Also, other than believing you have been here a long time, I do not see how your banter in Thai changes the opinion of your relationship with your wife for those who do not know you.

As I said, at least for him. She does not know my friends or family. We are not married There are no kids. Most of the relationships between an older farang and a young Thai female to which on here and elsewhere are often referred in disparaging terms would not have 2 persons speaking exclusively in Thai -- it would more likely indicate that we have been together for a long time and did not just meet last week.

So, following your logic, a farang who speaks Thai and just met a bar girl who speaks little English, would not talk to each other in Thai until they had known each other for a long time. Hmm, I guess that does explain your post.

A bar girl who speaks little English ain't going to earn much as the bulk of her potential customers are farangs who speak zero Thai.

[fang37]

Sign language!

Add a few basics eg Boom Boom - handsum man - B1500

[thailand49]

In all due respect.. yes you are right lots of threads and post regarding this topic and your post is a common one for someone who just visits. It depends on the girl and the person your are?

It is tough enough to be in a relationship/marraige in the States/West... years ago the % was like 50% I wonder what it is today? Being in a foreign country not being able to speak the language, a whole different type of culture and thinking, and in general a girl/lady that does not have more than a junior high education what do you think your % chances are going to be?

Sure there are success stories but I think you need to live here for a period otherwise you are walking around with rose color glasses.

All good points, but attitude trumps all of em. In the west we say whatever we want and care very little what people beyond our peers and coworkers think about us. Thais on the other hand seem a bit more reserved and are not as likely to criticize authority with any kind of harshness. These reasons make it difficult to relate and, I believe, are a good part of the reason why many guys date the bar girls.

You have a valid point.. but their culture and education system does not provide for criticism especially constructive. They look and act reserve because this is what they are taught. This is what we see.. so attractive right... old school Asian... do not speak.. take care of the kids, cook for me , wipe my ass and fold my clothes. They do not like confrontation so they are silent but they keep it it until it boils over. Before I go on I'm Asian! Get to know them or once they know they got you wrap around their fingers that is when you will slowly see the true color out of them. Have you ever really seen a Thai girl/lady go off. The men are even worse because they have this I'm Thai man greatest in the world and once you set them otf look out. This is the reason so many beat their women behind close doors. They let them have their say in public feel big and strong I wear the pants in the family. Thai men give them their due but at home if you continue "smack" make one thing clear I do not condon violence against a women but I've seen here some of the sweetest women that would go off getting me thinking " shit I would never hit a women but what I just saw would make a man want to "!

I understand those things are part of the culture. And I'm not criticizing it. I just see it as a big reason why I don't connect with many of the women here. Submissiveness, or even the appearance of it, has never been a selling point to me. I like Thai girls b/c they're mellow and easygoing. And feminine. I've found if you treat em right, they don't complain about much. And despite the stereotypes about honesty, they seem fairly straightforward about telling you what they want. The part that gets me is the way they try to hide things, and the how you kinda have to feign ignorance for fear of the eventual argument.

I was not aware domestic violence was that bad here, but I know the type of guys you're talking about. The ones that wave you over when they're drunk and half seem like they want to fight you. Can't imagine dating the kind of girl you mentioned. None of the ones I've had in my room would ever talk like that. But I've always been pretty honest with all of em.

I will answer you because the response to me have been more of guy who has been exposed more to the Thai life. Not trying to disrepect the others and I'm not trying to show how superior I'm to Thai life. I wish I haven't seen the stuff I have seen and would never wish anyone to have experience the things I have and seen.

As noted, I'm Asian.. I've written a number of times in regards to how being Asian living here could be a curse. And at times whenever I see a relationship between a Farang and Thai women I wonder if they have gone through or seen what I have seen and heard. When I hear they haven't I sense there is still hope for me but I resided that I will die a very violent life here. How I was raised although I have been humble by my life here I do not take a lot of shit from Thais any longer. Like many of you I came here not looking for trouble but trouble comes looking for me. I've been told by very close Farangs they have never heard the stuff happening that I might think about writing a book. That many of the things I have spoke of they have seen but not in the scale in my whole life.

All the things you speak of I wish I had more of it, but once they get to know me they say I'm more Thai than most of the Thais they know. After that it seems to go down hill. They break out of the shell and when they do here it comes.....so by now I know when to slowly without them losing face make a white lie ( like Thais do ) see even the government feels telling white lies do not count and in many cases what you do not know won't hurt you. And I get out before it gets bad and bad. See there is a different standand for Thai men and Farang men, and then I know now there is a standard for someone like me who was born and raised in U.S. looks like a Thai and speaks and even reads a bit.and best of all he is loaded like a regular looking Farang. it is a <deleted> curse!

Edited November 6, 2015 by thailand49

[JLCrab]

Sign language!

Add a few basics eg Boom Boom - handsum man - B1500

Maybe so but nobody who then sees them together will think that these two have been in a long-term relationship.

[fang37]

Absolutely true, Mr Crab.

[eldragon]

In all due respect.. yes you are right lots of threads and post regarding this topic and your post is a common one for someone who just visits. It depends on the girl and the person your are?

It is tough enough to be in a relationship/marraige in the States/West... years ago the % was like 50% I wonder what it is today? Being in a foreign country not being able to speak the language, a whole different type of culture and thinking, and in general a girl/lady that does not have more than a junior high education what do you think your % chances are going to be?

Sure there are success stories but I think you need to live here for a period otherwise you are walking around with rose color glasses.

All good points, but attitude trumps all of em. In the west we say whatever we want and care very little what people beyond our peers and coworkers think about us. Thais on the other hand seem a bit more reserved and are not as likely to criticize authority with any kind of harshness. These reasons make it difficult to relate and, I believe, are a good part of the reason why many guys date the bar girls.

You have a valid point.. but their culture and education system does not provide for criticism especially constructive. They look and act reserve because this is what they are taught. This is what we see.. so attractive right... old school Asian... do not speak.. take care of the kids, cook for me , wipe my ass and fold my clothes. They do not like confrontation so they are silent but they keep it it until it boils over. Before I go on I'm Asian! Get to know them or once they know they got you wrap around their fingers that is when you will slowly see the true color out of them. Have you ever really seen a Thai girl/lady go off. The men are even worse because they have this I'm Thai man greatest in the world and once you set them otf look out. This is the reason so many beat their women behind close doors. They let them have their say in public feel big and strong I wear the pants in the family. Thai men give them their due but at home if you continue "smack" make one thing clear I do not condon violence against a women but I've seen here some of the sweetest women that would go off getting me thinking " shit I would never hit a women but what I just saw would make a man want to "!

I understand those things are part of the culture. And I'm not criticizing it. I just see it as a big reason why I don't connect with many of the women here. Submissiveness, or even the appearance of it, has never been a selling point to me. I like Thai girls b/c they're mellow and easygoing. And feminine. I've found if you treat em right, they don't complain about much. And despite the stereotypes about honesty, they seem fairly straightforward about telling you what they want. The part that gets me is the way they try to hide things, and the how you kinda have to feign ignorance for fear of the eventual argument.

I was not aware domestic violence was that bad here, but I know the type of guys you're talking about. The ones that wave you over when they're drunk and half seem like they want to fight you. Can't imagine dating the kind of girl you mentioned. None of the ones I've had in my room would ever talk like that. But I've always been pretty honest with all of em.

I will answer you because the response to me have been more of guy who has been exposed more to the Thai life. Not trying to disrepect the others and I'm not trying to show how superior I'm to Thai life. I wish I haven't seen the stuff I have seen and would never wish anyone to have experience the things I have and seen.

As noted, I'm Asian.. I've written a number of times in regards to how being Asian living here could be a curse. And at times whenever I see a relationship between a Farang and Thai women I wonder if they have gone through or seen what I have seen and heard. When I hear they haven't I sense there is still hope for me but I resided that I will die a very violent life here. How I was raised although I have been humble by my life here I do not take a lot of shit from Thais any longer. Like many of you I came here not looking for trouble but trouble comes looking for me. I've been told by very close Farangs they have never heard the stuff happening that I might think about writing a book. That many of the things I have spoke of they have seen but not in the scale in my whole life.

All the things you speak of I wish I had more of it, but once they get to know me they say I'm more Thai than most of the Thais they know. After that it seems to go down hill. They break out of the shell and when they do here it comes.....so by now I know when to slowly without them losing face make a white lie ( like Thais do ) see even the government feels telling white lies do not count and in many cases what you do not know won't hurt you. And I get out before it gets bad and bad. See there is a different standand for Thai men and Farang men, and then I know now there is a standard for someone like me who was born and raised in U.S. looks like a Thai and speaks and even reads a bit.and best of all he is loaded like a regular looking Farang. it is a <deleted> curse!

Sorry to hear that, mate. Can only imagine what you're vaguely referring to. I kinda reckoned Thailand is more dangerous for Thais and guys that look Thai than it is for white guys, just like a ghetto back home is generally more dangerous for the people that come from there.

I knew about the violence, btw, just never imagined it was so common here. Saw some things in USA too, so nothing would surprise me. I've seen girls running down a soi at night before, not from anyone in particular but from someone that might be waiting in the dark.

Edited November 6, 2015 by eldragon